I applied for a counseling session crying all over after I developed post traumatic stress, but I didn't take counseling thinking that I could overcome the difficulty on my own. I was covered all over with wounds in both my body and mind after 3 years of wasting time when I finally decided to take the treatment program at KIP.
I realized that all my efforts to return things back to normal only aggravated my pain and difficulty. Now, burning rage has subsided and I don't travel between heaven and hell in a second upon a word of my husband's. I know the cause of all my pain was the wrongdoing of my husband, who was I trusted, but it was myself who generated anger and rage inside me, which brought me sown to the lowest point.
Now, I can view what has happened and what I feel separately. At first, I tenaciously sought for interrogations and attacks, which only grew my wounds. Now, my husband tries to talk to me first and defend himself. I try to compensate for my inappropriate responses and confrontations by treating myself and building inner strength. I make myself strong through therapeutic tasks. I hope others will also spend their time for themselves instead of wasting it for meaningless fight.
My husband is the one who loved me and chose me. I will be happy again as a wife and mother when I can stand up straight and healthy. I stopped preparing for a lawsuit and take time to look upon myself for how I am doing with the treatment. I want to get myself back before I completely collapse.
Rage is gradually subsiding little by little. I watch a soap opera that shows people having affairs and I feel numb for a moment. Then, I resume therapeutic tasks. I hope I will be a happier person in the next review. Stay happy and healthy, everyone.
[Comment from KIP]
It is almost impossible to treat post traumatic stress just by making efforts without understanding the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology. Rather, you may keep destroying yourself as you make more and more efforts. Unfortunately, many people are making efforts in the direction their condition is aggravated. Then, they may give up on recovery and live in pain and difficulties throughout their life time. This applies to everyone who is not adequately treated.
You have wasted 3 years but finally decided to take the treatment after realizing that you wanted true happiness. It was a wise decision for yourself and your children. You seem to recognize the fulfilling sensation of recovery now. It is hoped that you will keep up with your will power and efforts without forgetting what you thought when you first started the treatment until you obtain a complete cure and happiness ability. Please, read your reviews whenever you find doing therapeutic tasks difficult to gather up your will power for treatment.
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