[Infidelity Therapy] The husband's responses when the wife sues the adulteress

There are some cases where the victimized wife sues the adulteress without treating her post traumatic stress. Many types of critical situations may occur in marriage relationships when the wife sues the adulteress. Not many people understand that filing a lawsuit against the adulteress without proper preparation is likely to aggravate the wife's psychological condition and the husband's relationship addiction.

Responses of the husband who has committed infidelity when the wife sues the adulteress can be categorized into 7 different types. 

1. The husband begs the wife for forgiveness and helps the wife with the lawsuit.

   1) He is not satisfied with the adulteress' sexual response or feels burdened by the relationship. He takes it as a chance to reassure the wife and break up with the adulteress. 

   2) He has been suffering from conflicts with the adulteress. He takes it as a chance to reassure the wife and avoid the adulteress. 

   ※ As a result, the husband takes it as a chance to break up with the adulteress and find a new adulteress.

2. The husband gives the adulteress more gifts and attention.

  1) A financially affluent husband may reinforce the adulteress's sexual response by giving her more of what she wants not to break up with the adulteress even when she is sued by the wife. 

   2) He may stop supporting the wife and children financially to stop her from bothering the adulteress. 

   3) He may support the adulteress for the expense of lawsuit and alimony and help the adulteress to win the lawsuit by informing her of the wife's weaknesses. 

   ※ As a result, the wife's lawsuit only leads the husband to pay more attention to the adulteress. 

3. The husband demands a divorce, leaves home, and cuts off all communication with the wife. 

    1) He is extremely stressed from the wife's lawsuit against the adulteress and leaves family who interfere with his pleasure seeking. 

  2) The adulteress encourages the husband to leave the family and the husband is convinced that he cannot break up with the adulteress. 

   3) He may want to continue infidelity with the current adulteress or find a new adulteress. 

   ※ As a result, the lawsuit makes the husband and the adulteress even closer to each other and the husband is convinced that the wife is the one who made him have an affair. 

4. The husband reassures both the wife and the adulteress.

    1) He reassures the wife and children and treats them well. He also reassures the adulteress and treats her well. He keeps both marriage and infidelity. 

   2) He is active in the sexual relationship both with the wife and with the adulteress seeking sexual response from both women. 

   ※ As a result, the wife becomes an adulteress and justifies the husband's infidelity. Now, he has two adulteresses. 

5. The husband demands the wife to withdraw the lawsuit against the adulteress. 

   1) He tries to reassure the wife and treats the wife well. He is actually trying to get rid of stress coming from the adulteress due to the lawsuit.

   2) He thinks that the adulteress should not be stressed from the lawsuit since he wants infidelity to continue or be resumed. 

   3) He may try to get rid of proof of infidelity the wife has and stop her from continuing with the lawsuit. 

   ※ As a result, he continues or repeats infidelity and does his best to protect the adulteress. 

6. The husband adopts violent behaviors and blames the wife for his infidelity. 

   1) He is stressed from the adulteress not responding sexually since she is being sued   by the wife. He blames the wife for all the problems. 

    2) He tries to block all of the wife's actions against his infidelity at source.

    3) He may encourage the wife to have sex with another man and attack the wife for the behavior. 

   ※ As a result, the husband justifies his infidelity blaming the wife for everything. 

7. The husband suffers from the pain of breaking up with the adulteress. 

   1) He finds out that the adulteress is getting attention from another man and responses sexually. 

   2) He is attacked by the husband of the adulteress after being caught.

   3) He has broken up with the adulteress since he wants to keep marriage, but he suffers from pain and depression due to the loss of the adulteress's sexual response.    

     ※ As a result, the wife tries to be compensated for her pain and loss, and the husband misses the adulteress.      

Please, treat post traumatic stress before you file a lawsuit against the adulteress. The lawsuit must wait until the wife treats post traumatic stress and gives the husband an opportunity to treat relationship addiction to be proceeded as the wife wants.



 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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