6/08/2022

[Infidelity Therapy] Happy about passionate love making with your husband in infidelity?


      A married couple's passionate love making must make both the husband and the wife happy. However, passionate love making between the husband in infidelity and the wife with post traumatic stress does more harm then good. 

     The wife who is happy about having a lot of sex with the husband in infidelity, usually even more frequently and passionately than before the husband infidelity has occurred, is considered to have developed the psychology of an adulteress. The wife is responding sexually to her own husband like an adulteress, destroying her own mind and psychology as well as her family and children. 

     <Example> “My husband truly regrets having an affair and he is so sweet to me. We are really happy these days and have sex more frequently and passionately than before. Actually, we used to be a sexless couple before I found out about his infidelity. I suffered from psychological pain at first, but having sex more seems to have brought us back together. My husband promises to me that he will never have an affair and I have recovered trust in him.” 

     Many women report that they have restored marriage relationship and happiness through restoring sexual relationship with the husband in infidelity and have solved all the problems. Many others try to restore sexual relationship with the husband in infidelity, or envy those who claim they have become happy since they have frequent and passionate sex with the husband in infidelity. All of them are convinced that husband infidelity has occurred due to the couple's sexual problems. 

     The husband in infidelity has developed relationship addiction, which makes him addicted to the adulteress's sexual responses. The wife who has discovered husband infidelity develops post traumatic stress accompanied by abnormally strong sexual desire. Then, the following 5 phenomena can be observed in the couple as they focus more on having sex. 

      1. The husband has strong sexual desire and enjoys having sex. 

The husband in relationship addiction is proud of himself for having an affair and the wife with post traumatic stress develops abnormal sexual desire. As they have more sex, the wife thinks that husband infidelity has led them to have more sex ad restore marriage relationship. The wife's condition progresses further by activating sexuality for intense pleasure and comfort and she mistakes sexual pleasure for happiness. Then, both the husband's relationship addiction and the wife's post traumatic stress deteriorates. 

     2. The husband identifies the wife with the adulteress and have sex more with the wife.

The husband thinks that something is better than nothing. The husband chooses to have sexual pleasure through the wife instead of the adulteress. The husband almost always imagines about having sex with other women when he is having sex with the wife. That is, the wife becomes a substitute for the adulteress. Of course, both the husband's relationship addiction and the wife's post traumatic stress deteriorates. 

     3. The husband has sex with both the adulteress and the wife frequently. 

The husband thinks that he can have the cake and eat it. The husband enjoys both the adulteress's sexual responses and the wife's sexual responses. He has sex with both the adulteress and the wife frequently. He has adulteresses both at home and outside home. Of course, both the husband's relationship addiction and the wife's post traumatic stress deteriorates. 

     4. The husband has sex with the wife frequently to make her feel comfortable. 

The husband cannot stand stress from the wife's anger and rage due to his infidelity. Having sex can be one of his strategies to make the wife feel comfortable and happy by relieving her abnormal sexual desire. Then, the wife's rage and anger seem to subside on the surface. Of course, both the husband's relationship addiction and the wife's post traumatic stress deteriorates. 

     5. The husband tries to make the wife enjoy perversive sex. 

The husband takes the wife's condition of post traumatic stress and abnormal sexual desire as an opportunity to introduce perversive sex to her such as threesome, group sex, or anal sex. He tries to have sex with the wife more frequently and passionately to lead her to sexual perversion. The wife may willingly participate in perversive sex thinking that they have restored sexual relationship and happiness. In such cases, both the husband and the wife are likely to develop more serious pathological conditions. 

     The wife may feel that she is happy when she has more frequent and passionate sex with the husband in infidelity. However, both the husband's and the wife's condition deteriorate, and they become to stop having sex sooner or later. Then, the husband will look for an adulteress with even stronger sexual responses, and the wife willingly becomes an adulteress of other men and abandons her role as the wife and mother.

     Then, the husband may casually take advantage of the wife sexually when he needs a sex partner, and doesn't even care whether she meets other men or not since the husband perceives the wife as one of the adulteresses. The wife equates sexual pleasure with love and happiness and willingly becomes a sexual object for many men. She also does not care about the husband's infidelity any more, since she perceives the husband as one of the adulterers.

     The husband in infidelity has already developed relationship addiction, which destroys his mind and psychology as well as his relationships, love, passion, sexuality, and happiness. However, the wife with post traumatic stress still has a chance to recover before she develops relationship addiction and more severe psychological disorders. The wife who thinks that she has restored marriage relationship through having more frequent and passionate sex with the husband in infidelity must come to herself, and begin to treat her condition of post traumatic stress adopting adequate methods to restore happiness in a true sense. 

https://youtu.be/mOhQw1PXa98

 

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)


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