[Infidelity Therapy] Treatment, suppression, or revenge upon experiencing husband infidelity

     There can be three different paths of life of women who experience husband infidelity. All of them start with the pain of death due to post traumatic stress upon discovering husband infidelity. The first type of women try to recover through treatment of the condition, the second type avoid the pain by becoming dependent on something, and the third type become pleasure seekers based on the vindictive mentality. They all try to do something about their pain since they cannot bear the excruciating pain. 

Treatment_ beginning : I can't believe I haven't known about the mechanism of human mind at all. Now I think I understand what happened. 

Suppression_beginning : Many women live with husband infidelity. It happens to most couples. He is just my husband. I can live focusing only on my children. 

Revenge_beginning : How dare he cheat on me? I will definitely get even with him. I can attack the adulteress first. Of course, I am entitled to enjoy dating other men.

     All three types of women try to recover in their own ways. One woman really begins to treat her condition, another one caps her pain with dependency on other things, and the other one starts to destroy both herself and other people to be compensated for her pain. 

Treatment_middle : I understand what happened to me, but it still hurts. I feel better one day and feel hurt the next day. Am I doing the right thing for me? I guess I have to keep going and try harder for my treatment.

Suppression_middle : How come my children give me such a hard time when I devote my whole life to them? They are everything for me. Maybe I should try harder to be a better mother. They are my only hope. 

Revenge_middle : I have been so stupid so far. I wasted my life living with my husband. Now, I will enjoy my own life.

     The condition of post traumatic stress changes for the better for the first type of women and for the worse for the second and the third types. Women in the first case may go through ups and downs of emotional state, but they eventually restore feelings of love and happiness. The second type of women may feel comfortable and forget the pain while they are being dependent on something but their condition advances and they feel miserable and lost when they are not. The third type of women develop relationship addiction on top of post traumatic stress, and they cannot bear the pain and emptiness without getting men's attention and sexual pleasure. They begin to destroy all human relationships that get in the way of their pleasure seeking. 

Treatment_end : How beautiful the world is! How adorable my children are! I am so grateful to my children for being healthy and happy. Life is worth living and every life is precious even when it experiences pain and suffering on the way. 

Suppression_end: Children have left me. What should I do with my life now? I feel suffocated. Is it menopause or empty nest syndrome? Maybe I should get a divorce, eventually. 

Revenge_end : Life is for pleasure. Those stupid women couldn't imagine how exciting life is. No men would stay with such boring women. They don't even know how to satisfy men. I feel so sorry for them. 

     Women who achieve complete recovery from post traumatic stress know how to be happy in human relationships and live happily. They generate feelings of love and happiness and can decide whether they will stay with the husband or not, keeping emotional balance. They are happy whether they are divorced or not. Women who suppress their pain and become dependent may keep living unhappily growing their pain and wounds, or become a pleasure seeker when they cannot stand the pain anymore. Women who try to revenge by living a pleasurable life end up destroying their life and the lives of many others. They cannot but live a miserable life of the worst adulteress. 

     Every woman wants to get out of pain and suffering when they discover husband infidelity. They may want to avoid the pain or take revenge. However, it is only women themselves who can choose the path of their future life : a life of happiness after recovery or a life of unhappiness and destruction. 


About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

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