[infidelity Therapy] The husband's display of rage justifies the adulterer's wrongdoings.

[infidelity Therapy] The husband's display of rage, violent behaviors, filing lawsuits, or getting a divorce justifies the adulterer's wrongdoings. 

The husband develops post traumatic stress upon the discovery of wife infidelity. The husband suffers from the excruciating pain and blames himself or others. If he blames the wife and the adulterer, he may display rage employing violent language and behaviors since he cannot bear his pain of post traumatic stress. In some cases, he may blame himself, file lawsuits, or get a divorce as his psychological condition deteriorates. No one thinks about what dire consequences the husband's behaviors will result in.

It must be noted how the husband's behaviors are perceived by the adulterer. First, all the husband's negative expressions can be used to justify the adulterer's wrongdoing of committing infidelity with the wife. The husband's behaviors are equivalent to giving the adulterer what he wants. The husband's behaviors may be used as a support for the wife's infidelity, her falling for the adulterer's attention and consolation, and getting a divorce. Especially, the husband's violent language and behaviors are effective in serving this purpose. 

The adulterer may get stressed when the husband files lawsuits and display violent behaviors against him. However, he forgets about his stress soon by avoiding the situation or just enduring until it ends, and then, he feels sympathy for the wife. He may try to avoid the situation or just stand firm until it ends. 

The adulterer thinks that the husband is not good enough for the wife. He thinks that the wife committed infidelity because the husband is violent and incapable of protecting the wife and satisfying her sexually. This idea will lead the adulterer to conclude that he is superior to the husband in many ways. 

Secondly, the adulterer thinks that he had to give the wife attention and consolation because the husband didn't. The husband behaviors have proved so. That is, the husband's behaviors are used to justify the adulterer's infidelity with the wife. He thinks that the wife is a good woman who is sweet and sexually attractive but she is suffering from the relationship with the husband. 

Thirdly, the adulterer thinks that he can take advantage of the wife as a sexual object more easily when she gets a divorce, so he keeps giving attention and consolation to her. Then, the wife may choose to stay with the adulterer since the husband keeps being violent and blaming her for infidelity. The adulterer will be glad when the husband abandons the wife. 

The wife in infidelity may tell the adulterer everything about what is going on in her life and marriage in order to get attention and consolation from him including sexual issues. The adulterer perceives all her speech and actions as sexual responses and thinks that he must give her sexual pleasure, too. He may feel proud of himself for saving the wife from a miserable life. 

The husband's behaviors to display rage or to solve problems lead the adulterer to justify infidelity. The husband is helping the wife fall more and more infidelity. The more actions he takes to cope with the situation, the more incompetent he becomes. If you are suffering from post traumatic stress due to infidelity, you must treat your condition first by taking KIP Treatment and must not pay attention to your wife for now. Then, you can give your wife an opportunity to treat her condition and take all the measures to make the adulterer pay for what he has done to your family. You have to make him learn that the price of committing infidelity is high.

https://youtu.be/y8ZjAOa9I-s                         

                                       

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)