9/28/2022

[Mother Therapy] How to raise your child's sense of self-respect

 

     Every parent knows that their children need to build the sense of self-respect to live a happy life. They may try to help children build the sense of self-respect in diverse ways. They may listen to lectures, read books, and get counseling to do so. However, it is a different matter to apply their knowledge during daily life. It is because they are missing the fundamental element. 

     Parents know the importance of self-respect and they pay attention to children acknowledging children's existence with love and affection. However, not many people know that parents need their own stabilized psychological condition to be able to apply all their knowledge and information in an effective way. 

     When parents have psychological problems, it is impossible to pay attention and give love to children in a healthy way. They may pay attention to children but only in distorted ways usually focusing on the superficial and visible phenomena. For example, it is well known that parents must accept children as they are without judgment. However, parents with psychological problems cannot accept children as they are. They may consciously think that they are being good parents, but their distorted psychology leads their distorted habits of perception to be projected in perceiving their children's behaviors. They may accept their children as they are only when certain conditions are satisfied based on their own standards. 

     When parents accept children's existence as they are, children will be able to build the sense of self-respect more easily and comfortably. When children are demanded to live up to parents' expectation, it is equivalent to being forced to live with their parents' standards instead of their own standards. When a child is born, the only wish most parents make is for the child to grow healthy and parents accept the existence of the child. However, when parents have psychological problems and leave them unsolved and untreated, parent's problems affect children negatively. That is, parents cannot look at children with composedness in mind. 

     Children who are accepted as they are by their parents will easily build the sense of self-respect. They know that parents always accept them and support them under any circumstance. It is important to examine whether parents have healthy psychology to be able to help children build the sense of self-respect. If parents have psychological problems, they must solve problems or treat their condition first. Parents' psychological problems keep being activated to affect children's psychology negatively unless properly treated causing unhappiness for both parents and children.

https://youtu.be/XbR3TpOWM-k

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