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When the wife finds out that her husband has bought sex services, she feels betrayed by her husband. The wife thinks that she has sex because she loves the husband and the fact that her husband buys sex services means to her that having sex with the wife has been denied and he doesn't love his wife. The husband may think that buying sex services is no big deal, but the wife may develop post traumatic stress as if she were shocked by husband infidelity.
The husband's buying sex services has a few stages. The first stage is when he buys sex services by being carried along while he is drinking and having fun with people. The second stage is when he repeats buying sex services since he finds it fun. The third stage is when he put more importance to sexual pleasure than to the whole activity. The fourth stage is when he gets involved with the woman who sells sex in a romantic relationship committing infidelity.
The husband may think that he is just having fun temporarily and he has not betrayed the wife and children in any way. However, the wife may develop post traumatic stress thinking that she is denied by her husband and he has sex with another woman since he doesn't love her.
Especially, when the husband aggravates his condition of relationship addiction when he has a personal relationship with the woman who sells sex services. As his relationship addiction advances, he continues buying sex services even when he is caught by his wife and eventually develops intermittent explosive disorder. He may make an excuse saying that it was just a mistake and an accident, but he is only justifying his behavior. It has the same mechanism as the husband in infidelity making self-justification of all types upon being caught.
The husband who buys sex services is likely to fail in his life as well as in business and work and he suffers from physical illness. His relationship addiction advances rapidly as he spend time, money, and energy.
The husband who buys sex services develops relationship addiction and the wife who discovers it develops post traumatic stress. The wife must treat her post traumatic stress before anything to restore her life and family.
Most women think that they have sex with men they are in love with, but women who sell sex services have sex for financial gain. The husband buys sex services for temporary sexual pleasure but it causes him to suffer from permanent damage on his psychology. He becomes addicted to women's responses and sexual pleasure, which cannot be reversed by his conscious control.
The husband's pursuit of values is distorted and his relationships with people are damaged after he buys sex services. He begins to destroy the closest relationship making his wife and children suffer. He may even sever the relationship with children if they try to stop him from buying sex services.
The wife must first treat her post traumatic stress and then address his husband's problem. If she tries to address the husband's problems before treating her won condition, both the husband's and the wife's conditions only keep deteriorating. The husband thinks that buying sex services is valuable and important for him, so any attempt to stop his wrong doing is considered as an attack against his pursuit of values of life, which makes it even harder for him to recover.
When the husband realizes that his buying sex services caused relationship addiction in him and tries to treat his condition on his own, he can restore balance in psychology and understand the importance of being happy together with his wife as well as having sexual happiness together.
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