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It may be necessary to file a lawsuit, get a divorce, or address practical issues when spouse infidelity is discovered. However, every measure should be taken at a right time. Many people who suffer from spouse infidelity do not wait for the right time and go ahead for lawsuits, a divorce, or solutions, being engulfed by rage and despair. Then, the victimized spouse and children should bear the unfortunate result that damages their life.
1. Getting a divorce upon the discovery of spouse infidelity
You may think that getting a divorce is only natural when spouse infidelity is discovered. However, your life will be destroyed when you just get a divorce without treating wounds from marriage life and spouse infidelity, which causes post traumatic stress. The psychology of compensation is likely to be activated after a divorce, which may lead you to pursue pleasurable life losing the power of control.
You may be convinced that you are not a pleasure seeker at all, but your damaged psychology makes you think and act in the opposite ways. Then, you may justify yourself saying that you couldn't help it because of this and that. Treating post traumatic stress must precede getting a divorce. You also need to fully prepare yourself before getting a divorce. Interestingly, in many cases, the victimized spouse loses the idea of getting a divorce after they recover from rage and resentment caused by post traumatic stress.
2. Filing a lawsuit upon the discovery of spouse infidelity
It may be necessary to file a lawsuit against the adulterer or the adulteress. However, when you proceed with lawsuits without treating post traumatic stress, post traumatic stress deteriorates rapidly in the process of lawsuits. Focusing on lawsuits is equivalent to focusing on rage and revenge as well as on the spouse in infidelity. If you focus on thinking about spouse infidelity when you should actually try not to retrieve the incident, psychological wounds increase exponentially.
Differently from what many people think, it is almost impossible to recover marriage relationship after lawsuits. Lawsuits consolidate the idea that the spouse in infidelity as well as the adulterer or the adulteress is a perpetrator. It is as if you destroyed your life with your own hands even if you win the lawsuit. On the other hand, when you file lawsuits after you treat post traumatic stress and build happiness ability, you can proceed with lawsuits without losing the control of your life and without damaging yourself and your children.
3. Addressing practical issues upon the discovery of spouse infidelity
The spouse in infidelity has already destroyed marriage relationship. No practical measure can restore marriage relationship, and such measures can only destroy marriage relationship at a faster rate. Both trying to be nice to the spouse or trying to hurt the spouse are examples of taking practical measures. The spouse in infidelity may act irrationally or violently upon the slightest trigger of stress and wounds since he or she has developed relationship addiction that destroys all human relationship.
People in relationship addiction tend to have relationships only among themselves. Any practical measure taken by the spouse who has post traumatic stress induces intense stress and severe wounds in the spouse in infidelity, which in turn gives them more excuses to destroy marriage relationship. If you want to keep even the slightest chance to restore marriage relationship, it is recommended that you shouldn't address or solve practical issues just yet. Looking for solutions should wait until you treat post traumatic stress and build happiness ability. Otherwise, it is like pouring water in a sieve.
4. Taking advice or counseling upon the discovery of spouse infidelity
Not many people understand the nature of infidelity. Most advice and counseling including professional counseling don't help you restore happiness and marriage relationship. You may feel comfortable temporarily from retrieving your stress and wounds and aggravating post traumatic stress while taking advice and counseling. When you are consoled and empathized by the counselor about your thoughts and feelings, you become to justify your rage and despair and turn fake wounds into real wounds, blurring the fundamental issues and developing dependency on the person who consoles and empathizes with you.
You can take other people's advice and counseling after you treat post traumatic stress, remove fake wounds, and take the full control of your life. Then, you can decide on the right direction of your life on your own. Otherwise, post traumatic stress only deteriorates as you take more advice and more counseling. Then, you will end up living your life not by your own will but by other people's will.
It is the condition of post traumatic stress that gets in your way whatever you do upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. You can and must file lawsuits, get a divorce, or address practical issues if necessary for you own happiness. However, you will end up destroying your life and your children's life when all your actions are based on post traumatic stress. You will be able to achieve happiness for yourself and your children whatever you do after you treat post traumatic stress and build happiness ability.
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