From time to time, I think about moments I was in such pain before I started the treatment program. I was completely lost for what was going on, I was in fear, I felt like I was expelled, I wished I was in a dream, and I desperately wanted somebody to save me. I was in pain every moment of the day and the night.
I want to hug myself tight if I went back to the time. I would encourage myself and say that I would get over the suffering. I would tell myself that it was not my fault. At first, I was looking to everyone for saving me. I could have fallen for anything if I had not started the treatment program.
I was in despair many times even during the treatment. I thought what I was going through was beyond the capability of this program. Then, I thought I was cured and I began to neglect therapeutic tasks about a year after I began the treatment. At that time, I put priority on other things than on treating myself.
I have realized that myself is the most important thing in my life, so treating myself is also more important than anything else. I promise myself that I will focus on the treatment.
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