4/12/2023

[Infidelity Therapy] Self-delusion part 3 : The adulteress

 

The adulteress has developed relationship addiction which is a psychological disorder, and she may also have developed hysteria in more serious cases. She may develop the delusion that she is in a forbidden love with the adulterer and has become a heroine in a tragic drama. She mistakes her obsession for the adulterer's attention and the adulterer's obsession for her response for love. She has developed an extremely distorted idea on love and sexuality. 

Men's true love is based on the sense of responsibility to protect the woman operating in his unconscious even when he cannot recognize pleasure in his conscious and cannot get response from the woman. This operation of men's mind is never activated in the relationship with the adulteress. That is, the adulterer loses interest in the adulteress and stops protecting her the moment she stops responding to his attention. It is a big mistake to perceive the adulterer's giving attention and all the related behaviors for his true love.          

The adulterer's attention and the adulteress's response are only the result of the manifestation of their obsession based on the man's stress and the woman's wounds. They have nothing to do with love and happiness at all. They feel absolutely anxious and nervous until he gets response and she gets attention and stress and wounds are relieved temporarily. They finally feel alive when the man perceives response and the woman perceives attention and consolation, which makes them feel as if they were in love deeply and passionately. 

As stress and wounds continue to be accumulated as well as obsession and compulsion, men and women destroy themselves and people around them. They would do anything to relieve stress and achieve pleasure justifying themselves. In this process, they may become perpetrators or victims of sex crimes and some women may believe that becoming men's sexual objects and enjoying comfort and pleasure gives them happiness. Infidelity is caused by relationship addiction based on stress and wounds, and it has nothing to do with love and happiness. 

It is important that the nature of infidelity is accurately understood. Arguing that it is caused by any other practical problems is only to justify infidelity falsely. The first thing to do when husband infidelity occurs is to treat the wife's post traumatic stress to correct her misconception and restore her psychology. Only then can she give the spouse an opportunity to treat his condition of relationship addiction. 

As you keep taking practical measures without treating post traumatic stress and relationship addiction, your condition only deteriorates. Then, you cannot but end up living an unhappy and destructive life without even realizing what you are doing. 

https://youtu.be/HPK2g3z4CVk

                          

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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