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So many couples experience spouse infidelity during their marriage life. Many people misunderstand that it is caused by couple issues, sexual issues, or emotional issues. No couple can be completely free from some kind of problems in their marriage. Not many couples maintain the passion they had when they were dating and most couples usually do not activate sexuality as much as before.
Arguing that infidelity is caused by sexual issues or emotional issues justifies infidelity in any couple who have been married for some prolonged time period. It is actually happening these days and infidelity seems to have become so prevalent based on such justification.
Many people argue that infidelity is a type of love and many other people believe such argument. As a result, so many children are living in dire circumstances. When infidelity is accepted as a normal behavior, more and more people get involved in infidelity without even a second thought thinking that they are in love, and individuals and family are destroyed without even knowing the reason.
Many people justify infidelity without accurately understanding its fundamental cause and the operational mechanism. The adulterer may argue that the adulteress makes him happy but his wife only gives him stress. Then, the so-called expert may advise the couple to restore their love and trust and solve sexual problems, which is to admit the argument of the husband who has committed infidelity.
The experts do their best to restore marriage relationship but they are actually encouraging infidelity by accepting the argument of people in infidelity, and people follow the experts' advice. Everyone thinks that addressing the visible issues will solve the problem of infidelity. Relationship addiction, which is manifested as infidelity, cannot be treated by changing behaviors and conscious thoughts. Infidelity will continue or recur no matter what the couple do at the surface level. It only aggravates the condition of relationship addiction of the spouse in infidelity and post traumatic stress of the victimized spouse.
The victimized spouse who has developed post traumatic stress is in a more dangerous condition than the spouse in infidelity since they have a more powerful destructive energy. As post traumatic stress is neglected and deteriorates, he or she may end up committing infidelity as a means to get out of the pain of post traumatic stress.
From children's point of view, one of their parents has developed relationship addiction and the other post traumatic stress. It is no wonder children cannot grow with healthy psychology in such an environment. They have to develop their psychology based on the parents' distorted psychology. They may also develop psychological disorders when they become adults.
Of course, people in infidelity are the major contributors to the prevalent idea that infidelity is love and caused by diverse couple issues, but victimized spouses can also become contributors by committing infidelity as their condition deteriorates. This mechanism explains why so many people are committing infidelity these days and why so many children are suffering in such a society.
Treating post traumatic stress should precede addressing the issue of infidelity at the practical level. You shouldn't add oil on the fire by neglecting your post traumatic stress even when your spouse is committing infidelity. You must protect yourself and children regardless of others' behaviors and arguments. You must build the ability to fight the adversity and solve problems on your own by building happiness ability. Children will learn from you how to protect themselves and grow to be healthy adults with stable psychology. Treating post traumatic stress is your responsibility as a parent as well as the right choice for your own happiness.
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