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Hello, everyone. Children in
the phase of adaptation to relationships and the phase of formation of
self-identity are supposed to be under the protection of family and build basic
abilities and healthy psychology going through the teenage years. They also
acquire knowledge and skills, learn right characters, and learn how to manage
human relationships at school. Parents are in charge of taking care of children
at home and teachers are in charge at home. Sometimes, children develop
conflicts in the relationship with teachers at school.
When children are in the
phase of adaptation to relationships, which generally covers from the age 5 to
13, their psychological development is centered around human relationships.
They may dislike school and refuse to go to school just because they don’t like
their teachers. On the other hand, children in the phase of formation of self,
which covers from the age 13 to 19, they are building their own thought
standards, so they try to figure out what is right and wrong and specifically
and logically express their ideas about conflicts with their teachers. They may
become rebellious when they are asked to do what seems irrational or absurd
from their point of view even though teachers have authority at school.
Understanding why things are the way they are based on their own thought
standards is important for children in this phase.
For example, a teacher who is 30 years old
thinks and acts based on the unique experience and knowledge of 30 years. A
teenager who is 15 years old thinks and acts based on the unique experience and
knowledge of 15 years. It is unlikely that adult teachers and teenagers have
similar thought standards. It would be ideal if teachers are understanding and
considerate enough to manage the relationship with teenagers well, but what can
parents do when children already have developed conflicts with their teachers?
When your teenage daughter
says, “I can’t understand my teacher, and you say,” You just have to listen to
your teacher. She should know better than you do,” your daughter may think that
she cannot understand both you and her teacher and decides to stop talking to
you about the matter. On the other hand, if you listen to your daughter’s
thought in detail first and say, ”Your idea is right from your point of view,” and
discuss further in a rational way why the teacher would have talked and acted
that way from the teacher’s point of view, your daughter understand the matter
better and will not be stressed any more when she meets her teacher the next
day.
Parents can guide children to understand
that teachers can have different view points and opinions based on their unique
life experiences and knowledge. Many children will feel better and deal with
conflictual situations better when they understand what is going on from their
own perspective. Mother’s role is especially important for healthy growth of
children. Mothers should accurately understand the operational mechanism of
human mind and psychology including developmental phases of child psychology
and adopt right parenting strategies for their children to help them build
healthy habits of psychology.
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