[Sex & Xes] The danger of using adult products to overcome boredom or sexual dysfunction

 

When sex in a couple is not going well due to boredom or sexual dysfunction, some people may try to use sex toys as a way to restore sex in their relationship, but this is very dangerous and futile.

Women and men's xesminds work in opposite ways. Women only accept familiar sexual information that accords with their xes habits, and the more sexual information they have in their memory, the better their sexual performance becomes. Men only accept new sexual information that is not in their xes habits, and the more sexual information they have in their memory, the more sexual wounds they have, and the worse their sexual performance becomes.

As a married couple live together for a long period of time, the husband's sexual function gradually deteriorates as he accumulates new sexual information from daily life, and the sexual information that comes from his wife becomes so familiar that he no longer recognizes her sexually. On the other hand, most wives start out with relatively little sexual information and sexual function, and as they meet and have sex with their husbands, their sexual function gets better and better because they accumulate more and more familiar sexual information from their husbands.

What would happen if the husband starts looking for adult products to restore sex with his wife? During this search, he accumulates more and more new sexual information, and his sexual performance gets worse and worse. Meanwhile, the wife tries to stick to the familiarity of her xes habits, so she bounces from one sex toy to the next, saying "I don't like this one, I don't like that one," and so on.

However, during this process, the wife gradually accumulates sexual information regarding adult products, and before you know it, the wife's sexual performance improves as she becomes more familiar with the products. The problem here is that when a woman's sensory responses and her sexual performance improve, she begins to prioritize physical pleasure over feelings of love. Now, it may not have to be the person she loves or her husband, and it just has to be pleasure.

The husband may also be new to using adult products, so his sexual performance may initially improve as he perceives the new sexual information, but as he gets used to it, his sexual performance may deteriorate again, and he may eventually switch to seeking out other new sexual information, leading to the destruction of the relationship eventually.

So, you might be thinking, "Does this mean that we should just throw our hands up in the air when boredom or sexual dysfunction strikes?" Well, no, it doesn't, and it's really something to be celebrated that a couple doesn't give up on their relationship when boredom or sexual dysfunction occurs. That's why it's important to know how to rekindle the passion and love in a way that's satisfying and safe for both of you.

 First and foremost, you need to get back to being a man and a woman, not husband and wife, or dad and mom. You need to intentionally set aside time for just the two of you, and during that time, you should never think about your children. A lot of people say that you have to solve marital problems with having sex, but men and women who meet for the first time never start with having sex. You have to have conversations and talk about each other and your lives, but of course not as parents or as husband and wife. The conversation should always be about "me and you", just like it was when you were in a dating relationship. Of course, it's going to be very awkward and hard at first, so you have to be committed and make efforts for each other.

If you can do this, you'll start to feel passion and love for each other again, and sex will naturally follow. In fact, the sex will be even more flavored and ripe than when they were in a dating relationship. But there's another thing to keep in mind here. You shouldn’t focus only on the pleasures of ejaculation and orgasm in activating sexuality. In the healthy and happy sex life, the woman first enjoys the attention she receives from her partner and amplifies her feelings of love, and the man gets great satisfaction, excitement, and pleasure from watching her.

Thus, the process leading up to having sex is what's important: just wanting to touch the person you love, feeling good about touching them, and feeling excited and happy just fantasizing about sex is all part of the process. Penetration and ejaculation are only a small part of sexual actions; when you go traveling, everything you feel together in a new destination is sex, and every date you go on together is sex. That's the love, passion, and sex in a romantic relationship.

This is also women-centered sex. Women amplify the pleasure of sex into feelings of love, and the more you feel in love, the more satisfying and orgasmic the sex will be. But surprisingly, men also perform better when they have sex with the perspective of the mind with the passion to make their partners happy, rather than focusing on the pleasure of senses such as ejaculation and orgasm. In this situation, everything men do with their partners leads to men’s passion that they feel in their mind.

Couples who make the effort to overcome boredom, sexual dysfunction, and sexlessness should be cheered, but it's worth remembering that if you go about it the wrong way, it's often the cause of your relationship's demise, and it's usually due to a distorted perception of human sexuality.

                            https://youtu.be/jmOkSCLWOX8?si=SyhMaKENUXrJYoKi

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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