Korea Institute of Psycho-education: [Mother Therapy] If your child or teen wants to move out and become independent

As a parent, what would you do if your child or teen wanted to move out on their own? Of course, there are times when school or family circumstances force a child to move out on their own, but most parents would be concerned and oppose the move. There is a difference between a child or teen running away from home and moving out on their own. Running away is when a child leaves home without parental support, while moving out is when a child separates from home with parental support.

There are three main reasons why a child or teen might move out on their own. They may want to live freely, free from stress and difficulties at home; they may want to stop studying and have fun; or they may want to live according to their own will, avoiding interference from their parents. Whatever the reason for your child's decision to move out, it's important to consider the issues that may arise when your child becomes independent and to prevent problems from arising.

As your child moves out and wants to pursue their own self-actualization and happiness, you need to make sure they understand their rights and responsibilities. The next thing to consider is that when children become independent, they will have to live their daily lives based on the psychological habits that have been formed so far. When children become independent, some parents will support them in many ways for their survival and safety, which may lead to the problem that they are not really independent, but dependent on parents for self-actualization.

Having the right to self-actualization, but not being responsible for it, increases the likelihood that an independent child will develop a distorted sense of self-actualization, which can lead to habits of dependency and to a life of dependence on others later in life.

So what should parents do when their child wants to move out? We recommend that you first analyze the reasons for your child's desire for independence as a child or adolescent, and then study the possible countermeasures and solutions. Then, you should prepare your child for independence by discussing with them the changes in rights and problems that will occur when they become independent.

Parents and children should also make plans about returning home when problems arise after moving out, especially discussing issues and prevention of illness, health, accidents, crimes, etc. This way, children will strive to avoid causing problems after moving out and will be able to return home immediately when problems arise. Parents should always talk to their children about the importance of returning home safely and without pressure, and help them to fully appreciate this. This is why your role is so important when your child wants to move out on their own, or when they actually move out.

Opposing independence at all costs can be very damaging to the parent-child relationship and can make it very difficult for the child, so it's best to tread lightly and realize that this whole process can be a good experience in their growth.

https://youtu.be/W0LBsaGT9sg?si=jQqoqnlalBmlH-Mk

Apply for free consultatio n