Korea Institute of Psycho-education: [Mother Therapy] Problems with solutions to children’s behavioral issues

As children and teens grow up, they encounter many problems. When caregivers, teachers, and other adults become uncomfortable with what children and adolescents say and do, they recognize that a problem exists and try to solve the problem individually, and if the problem persists or worsens, the child or adolescent is considered to have a problem. Most children and adolescents' problems can be categorized into health and physical problems, relationship problems, emotional problems, thought problems. These problems are common in the growth process. While individual solutions to directly address children and adolescents' problems can be effective in some cases, people don't realize that those solutions can also have serious problems in most cases.

Children and adolescents have the right to be physically safe. They also have the right to form healthy psychological habits, and through trial and error, they form habits of relationships, emotions, and thoughts. Parents, schools, and society are responsible for protecting these rights of children and teens. For example, if children and adolescents have health problems, their parents should seek medical help to resolve them.

The formation of psychological habits requires making a lot of trial and error. Through making trial and error, children and adolescents create their own psychological habits to address difficulties, solve problems, and avoid repeating them. As a caregiver, it's your responsibility to help children and adolescents learn from their mistakes.

However, in the real world, when children and teens make mistakes, we decide that something is wrong with them, and we use admonition and discipline to help them solve the problem. If you decide that all of the child's trials and errors are problems, you'll have to work individually to solve many problems, and each problem will require a different solution. Then, even if one problem is solved, many other problems will arise, each requiring a different solution.

This is a serious problem that arises when it is not recognized that children and adolescents are forming psychological habits through trial and error. When children and teens experience trial and error, caregivers usually feel uncomfortable and decide that something is wrong with them.

When caregivers are comfortable, they rationalize and justify that children and adolescents are doing well and growing up without problems, which interferes with the formation of psychological habits and robs children and adolescents of their rights. When this happens, the child or adolescent develops a habit of relying on the caregiver or other people to solve problems, and distorted psychological habits are formed, and the child or adolescent's psychological habits become aligned with the caregiver's psychological habits.

Rather than providing each solution to a problem, it is necessary to help children and adolescents to solve their own problems through trial and error, along with parenting methods that help them to form psychological habits. Only when they are unable to solve their own problems should parents intervene. It should be a priority for parents to help children and adolescents solve their own problems and help them form healthy psychological habits.

https://youtu.be/vNo6D99op5o?si=NHmwUzEWpIx5n1AS

Apply for free consultatio n