From the moment
we wake up in the morning till the end of the day, we make a lot of choices,
some of which we make on our own, but a surprising number of them are
influenced by others. We often make decisions based on what our family,
friends, and coworkers think of us, or what they expect us to do.
While it's
important to respect and consider other people's opinions, we often lose sight
of what we really want in the process. What's more, being overly dependent on
others makes it harder to live our lives to the fullest, as we become more
dependent on their reactions than our own decisions.
So why do we need
to be able to make our own choices and not lean on others? Leaning on others
for a moment can be comforting and supportive, but if it's repeated, you're
constantly asking someone for many parts of your life. You can become dependent
on them for every single decision including the smallest matters, which can
make them feel overwhelmed, which can lead to conflicts and make it harder to
maintain a healthy relationship.
Being
psychologically dependent means that you've surrendered your power to other people,
and you're at their mercy, which means that a lot of your life is dictated by
their reactions, and you're bound to feel a sense of loss and helplessness when
they change or leave, making it harder for you to live your life on your own
terms.
Psychological
independence, on the other hand, is about valuing yourself and living by your
own standards, not being swayed by other people's opinions. This doesn't mean
that you should cut off relationships with others; it's important to cherish
and protect relationships that meet your standards. The key is to understand
the difference between dependence and independence clearly and to develop the
ability to make your own choices.
Everyone can make
their own choices, and although it's not easy, you can make a difference with
time and effort. Once you've achieved psychological independence, economic
independence will naturally follow, and you'll no longer depend on others for
happiness. You can create your own happiness and share it with those around
you.
People say that
our life is formed based on how we look at it, and we can choose how we react
in every moment, so it's all up to us. We have the power to make ourselves
unhappy, or we have the power to make ourselves happy, so why spend energy on
making ourselves unhappy? Wouldn't it be better to use that energy to choose
happiness?
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