A conflict means that one's meaning and value clash or collide with those of others in the process of self-realization. The meaning and value pursued are necessarily different among people, but one thinks the meaning and value of others are wrong, and then, conflicts occur. One's thoughts are exclusively his or her own and others' thoughts are exclusively theirs. No two people share the meaning and value of life.
People have their own thought standards when they fulfill their meaning and value of life, and no one shares his or her thought standards with others. They are the thought standards owned by only one person in the whole world.
We all know that our thought standards and those of others are different, but when their thought standards are actually applied, the thought standards of others are not perceived to be different but perceived to be wrong. It is a phenomenon manifested in the process of the application of thought standards. When we live in human relationships as PIRs, there are many cases where people regard the mismatch of the thought standards as others' fault, which leads to clashes and collisions, and eventually conflicts.
Also, clashes and collisions do not occur when one is not in a relationship with or interested in the other party, since one does not apply his or her thought standards and perceives the other perty's thought standards to be simply different. Therefore, conflicts cannot help but occur in human relationships accompanying mutual interests and concerns.
When conflicts occur in a relationship accompanying mutual interests, men feel stress and women feel wounds. It means that conflicts are unavoidable with someone who you love and you care about.
Conflicts are generated by one's own thought standards. We are convinced of our thought standards based on our own memories. We judge and decide on things based on our thought standards. We are also convinced that others must have the same thought standards, and therefore, others must be this or that, which is perceived to be right but is clearly wrong. Thus, conflicts occur when neither party has done anything wrong, but both are convinced otherwise, and argue that the other party is wrong.
Similarly, we ourselves create conflicts. They are formed by our own thought standards. Breaking harmony and order in human relationships with different thought standards leads to conflicts. Of course, everyone has the right to pursue their own happiness as an individual. At the same time, we have the responsibility to pursue the meaning and value of life together with other people, as people in relationships. The self-realization as PIRs is the responsibility when living together with other people. Thus, we live with the right as individuals and with the responsibility as people in relationships, pursuing self-realization.
We must know that the thought standards of ours and others' are different when we pursue self-realization. This is understanding, and understanding forms the basis of healing ourselves. We should first know about our own thought standards and then those of others', if we care about others and want to understand the differences in people's thought standards.
Conflicts occur when we guess from the other's expressions based on our own thought standards without knowing the other's thought standards. We are convinced that our thought must be right because they have expressed themselves this way or that way. The probability for this guess to be right is less than 10%, but we are 100% sure about our guess. The closer and the more loving the relationship is, the lower the probability that the guess is right is, less than 1% in most cases. It is less than 0.01% in a family relationship. It is less than 10% in a business relationship or a purposeful relationship. The probability of correctly guessing others' thought standards will rarely be over 10% even when one has outstanding intellectual abilities.
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