As a man and a woman start dating, the man maintains positive moods since everything about the woman is perceived positively, which makes the man produce more and more passion toward the woman. The same applies to the woman. The woman begins to love him more and more as she sees the man pouring more and more passion toward her. However, as time passes and they become closer to each other, the woman provides the man with stress and the man provides the woman with wounds.
The man would do anything for the woman when he feels good led by the woman's positive response, but he becomes rough and even violent sometimes when he is stressed by the woman's endless nagging. He displays negative behaviors not because he does not like the woman but because he cannot stand the stress caused by the woman's negative behaviors.
When the woman suddenly stops talking and keeps a frowned face, the man begins to feel stressed. The woman does not respond to his attempts to make her feel better, which leads him to suffer from intense stress. All males are designed either to block stress or to quickly transfer to positive moods upon perceiving stress. The man will try many things to make the woman feel better but he will try to block the inflow of stress when none of his attempts works. He may shout or get rough, and then, begin to avoid the woman and stop contacting her.
On the other hand, the woman's feelings of love toward the man continues even when she feels hurt by him. She may keep checking for his messages and phone calls. She waits and waits for his call and becomes anxious. Then, she may call him disregarding her own pride, but the man does not answer since he has decided to block her. Men do not see women when they cannot have fun and pleasure with them. Continuous stress causes the loss of passion in men, which keeps men from providing women with attention.
Stress plays an important role in the operation of men's mind. Men automatically get stressed when something negative is perceived through sensory organs. Then, they need to relieve stress immediately and get immersed into positive moods to completely forget about the stressful situation.
Men are extremely sensitive to stress and women to psychological wounds. Stress which the man gets during dating is usually provided by the woman's seemingly trivial actions. Suppose that the man and the woman have made an arrangement to have fun together today. The man does not appear at the meeting place and cannot be reached by phone, either. She begins to feel bad from disappointment. It is too late to even have dinner together.
After some time, she feels worried and nervous wondering what would have happened to him. Now, she is almost on the verge of crying and feels really hurt. What if he had an accident? Then, the man runs into the coffee shop panting really hard. The woman simply explodes upon the man's appearance and start yelling at him.
“You know what time it is? Why didn't you call? You have ruined our date!”
“You think I wanted to be late? You don't even know what happened to me.”
The woman expected that the man would apologize to her for being late and provide her with warm consolation. However, he got angry the moment he saw her. She just leaves the coffee shop without thinking twice. The man does not follow her since he is also upset. The woman hopes that he will follow her and stop her, but it does not happen. Then, she stops and thinks. She turns to go back to the coffee shop trying to understand from his point of view why he was late and why he got irritated and angry at her. This is the process of women's effort to treat their own wounds.
When women cannot understand the situation that caused their wounds, they suppress their wounds in spite of themselves, which causes wounds to grow even more. Women with severe wounds experience psychological difficulties every time they meet men for dating. Then, they may decide to stop dating men completely. Any romantic relationship is accompanied by not only fun and pleasure but also stress and wounds. Women treat wounds and generate feelings of love and happiness when they understand the situation of wounds and get attention and consolation from men.
Men generate great energy and passion when they heal stress. Both men and women need to keep and carry stress and wounds to be able to achieve more passion and more love. Stress and wounds are necessary elements in the operation of human mind as sources for understanding and consideration as well as greater love and passion.
When the man and the woman make efforts to be understanding and considerate toward each other, they become the healing system for each other. The psychology of dating is based on men's and women's desire for keeping their healing system right beside themselves. When they cannot serve as each other's healing system, they cannot stand continuous stress and wounds and may break up. Thus, understanding and consideration are absolutely important in a romantic relationship.
Men's passion and women's love are connected in a romantic relationship. Men perceive their passion with positive moods toward the woman as love and women perceive men's attention as love. Women accommodate both positive and negative emotions as feelings of love. Men's negative attention contributes to generating love in women's mind but indifference does not.
Some people do not get involved in romantic relationships since they do not want any kind of stress or wounds. They may seek fun and pleasure mingling with people here and there and through social media. They endlessly communicate on the Internet with people they don't know for every possible topic. Online communication is readily available day and night and keeps you from the sense of isolation. However, happiness of human beings can be achieved only through real human relationships exchanging and overcoming stress and wounds and experiencing the full range of emotions.
No two human beings share the same memory and life experiences. It is a complete fallacy to think that you and your counterparty share feelings. The man and the woman in a dating relationship are bound to have different thought standards and exchange stress and wounds. It is a pity that people give up on their relationship upon the slightest stress and wounds when they can actually grow their passion and love if they wisely overcome stress and wounds. Understanding the operational mechanism of men's and women's mind will prevent many couples from breaking up and promote generating more passion and more love.
Three components of psychology, which are perception, memory of emotion, and expression, keep operating throughout the course of life. A person's psychology must not be judged based on only the visible manifestations of psychological components such as speech, actions, and facial expressions. Also, one's expression is greatly affected by the unconsciousness. When the man speaks and acts roughly and irrationally upon the woman's negative response, it may indicate that the man's unconscious is at work to simply block the incoming stress rather than that he does not like the woman.
When the man and the woman have an argument due to the difference in thought standards, the man does not get stressed if the woman keeps smiling. Males perceive women's smiling face as a positive response and keep generating passion even when the content of women's talk is perceived negatively. The man's passion would make him go to catch a star in the sky for her. The woman does not generate wounds when the man does not generate stress. The woman may be moved by the man's passion toward her and generate more feelings of love. Then, they will grow trust toward each other and have their hearts connected.
When the man and the woman ride a roller coaster, the train moves on the flat surface at first. They look around and talk to each other anticipating fun and pleasure. Then, it goes up to the highest point and stays there for a few seconds. They may develop fear and get nervous not knowing what may happen the next moment. The train begins to plunge with no mercy and the woman screams regretting her decision to ride on the train and blaming the man for taking her to the amusement park. She swears that she will never do such a foolish thing again in her lifetime. Finally, the train arrives back at the station and stops. The fear and anxiety suddenly disappear and the woman senses delight and excitement.
She expresses her feelings of happiness to the man holding his hands tightly and he feels the flame of passion generated inside himself. The life with the whole range of emotions circulating inside you as if you were riding a roller coaster is the life with the energy of passion and love at their full force.
You must not give up the ecstasy of riding the roller coaster in life just because it is difficult to overcome stress and wounds. Only with the suffering of stress and wounds are the deep emotions of happiness which are passion for men and love for women generated.
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