When a mother and a daughter have conflicts, the mother has her own thought standards for her self-realization and the daughter has her own. Conflicts occur since the mother insists on her own thought standards and the daughter insists on hers.
The mother thinks that the daughter's thought standards are wrong based on her thought standards, and the daughter thinks that the mother's thought standards are wrong. The daughter is assumed to be wrong from the mother's point of view, and the mother is assumed to be wring from the daughter's point of view. In spite of both parties having great concern for each other, conflicts occur thinking that the other's thought standards are wrong.
Suppose that the mother imposes her thought standards on the daughter, and the daughter accepts the mother's thought standards. Then, will the daughter pursue her own self-realization or the mother's self-realization? The daughter will end up living not her own life but her mother's life. It is the same as the mother repressing the daughter's value and meaning of life, and the daughter loses her own value and meaning of life. Whether this is what the mother wants or the daughter wants is a question to be asked and reflected upon.
The causes of conflicts in the mother-daughter relationship are in the differences in the thought standards. The parties involved insist on their own thought standards and blame each other for the conflicts. None of the involved parties are at fault, but conflicts obstruct them from pursuing their self-realization since they do not know the causes of conflicts.
We can understand that no one is to blame in a conflict situation, and that the mother and the daughter do not know that no one in the whole world has the same thought standards. Conflicts can continue for life when this is not known and not understood.
When the mother claims her right to impose her thought standards on the daughter, the daughter cannot but live by the mother's thought standards, deprived of her right as an independent individual. Then, she will live an unhappy life not being able to pursue her own self-realization.
The thought standards for self-realization must not be imposed on others. The thought standards of one person are formed only by that person based on only the person's memories, and the same thought standards do not exist in the whole world. These thought standards enable people to have the right to pursue their self-realization, forming various human relationships with the duty of harmony and order. This is the principle of human life with rights and duties, and it applies to everyone from children to the elderly.
The mother can be happy for her daughter, knowing that the daughter has her own thought standards as a person in relationships. Then, the conflicts will be resolved and the wounds will heal.
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