Upon the discovery of spouse infidelity, most people develop post traumatic stress with severe psychological pain and run about in confusion. They are overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions but cannot judge what is right or wrong, and they are simply swallowed by pain and rage. They may end up destroying everything with their own hands. If you want to overcome post traumatic stress and restore a healthy and happy life, you must take actions following the order provided.
The first and foremost thing you must do is to become independent psychologically. When you experience excruciating pain due to spouse infidelity, / you must focus on your existence as an individual rather than on your existence in marriage relationship until you recover healthy psychology. The decision on whether you will stay married or get a divorce can wait until then. Any practical measures taken to recover or sever marriage relationship in the condition of post traumatic stress will only expedite the destruction of individuals and family. The moment you discover spouse infidelity, you must simply erase the idea of marriage or divorce.
You must put yourself out of marriage relationship and achieve psychological independence. You must make it clear that you exist as an individual before you exist as a spouse or a partner in a relationship. You and your spouse are still parents of your children, but must stay psychologically separated until you restore healthy psychology. It is only natural that you are in great pain, but you must prepare yourself to live happily regardless of the presence or absence of your spouse.
The second most important thing to do is to become independent economically. You must be able to support and protect yourself and your children without other people's help. Economic independence does not mean that you must have the ability to live affluently. You just need to achieve sufficient economic independence with which you and your children can live in a safe and healthy environment.
As you make efforts to achieve psychological and economic independence, the treatment of post traumatic stress must be proceeded adequately. You can make right judgment and decision and take right actions only when you restore healthy psychology. In the process, you may also be able to give your spouse an opportunity to treat his or her psychological disorder.
The third thing you must do is to make decisions on practical matters such as restoring marriage relationship or getting a divorce. By then, you must have fully recovered and have the ability for right judgment for a happy life. You will be happy and will not experience much difficulty even when you get a divorce since you have prepared yourself well.
Many practical measures people take when spouse infidelity occurs presuppose that you and your spouse still exist as people in relationships rather than as a self-contained individual. You must go back to exist as an individual to adequately address the condition of post traumatic stress. It is quite ineffective and even dangerous to approach the issue of spouse infidelity and post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity from conventional points of view. It is recommended that you make efforts to restore healthy psychology and a happy life in the right direction with the right method.
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