Parents want to help their children even when children become adults. Parents who identify themselves with children may even perceive children's difficulties as their own. They may try to give advice to their children but it doesn't seem to help children that much. Then, what can you do?
First of all, parents must understand that children have their own thought standards from their unique life experiences. Parents also have their own thought standards from their unique life experiences. Thought standards of parents' and children's are necessarily different, so parents' well intended advice may not help children overcome the difficulties. It is important to admit that adult children are completely independent and separate human beings from parents even though they were reared by parents for almost 20 years.
All human beings go through difficulties in relationships when people's thought standards conflict in relationships. Especially, when you get immersed in your own thought, you are highly likely to develop distorted ideas. When negative ideas become your thought standards, you will perceive and judge everything based on the distorted and negative thought standards. When your children already have developed distorted thought standards, your loving care and advice may be perceived as a negative one, which will only make your relationship with children worsen.
It is not parents' advice or guidance that can help adult children who are going through a difficult time. It is to provide an environment where they can overcome their difficulties on their own. That is, parents can help children have stable psychology instead of providing specific advice on what to do. When we can think and judge in the right way based on healthy psychology, we can view our problems objectively with reason. Then, we can also make use of good advice from other people including parents. Unstable psychology only leads to growing stress and wounds in anyone.
https://youtu.be/SMO115YM2ks
on child's psychological problem
Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/
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