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The discovery of spouse infidelity causes the most excruciating pain in the victimized spouse especially when the victimized spouse thought he or she had a good marriage life. They may have had different problems such as couple issues, sexual issues, family issues, or financial issues as all married couples do, but they did their best to maintain a good marriage life.
Victimized spouses who don't suffer from as much pain as others or those who recover easily are considered to have not taken their marriage seriously enough all the time or have already developed psychological disorders. Of course, people who commit infidelity have already developed psychological disorders, and have been destroying themselves and other people. Both the spouse in infidelity and victimized spouse end up ruining their life unless they treat their psychological conditions.
Victimized spouses develop post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. It is a psychological condition that turns all your life experiences into wounds in mimind including happy moments and good memories. You may keep turning all your life experiences into wounds and negative memories and keep building destructive power inside you as time passes. You may express negative feelings toward people around you including children more and more and feel relieved and comfortable when you succeed in destroying other people's lives little by little. Of course, your life is ruined in this process. You may think that you have a good and happy life as far as you can satisfy your own desire for comfort and pleasure.
Both the spouse in infidelity and the victimized spouse can and must treat their condition and restore happiness. All the practical measures and efforts taken to recover without adopting the right treatment method only aggravates your psychological condition. So-called experts take advantage of your situation and lure you to take all kinds of practical measures to fulfill their own selfish purposes. They contribute greatly to your ruining your life and make profits. They don't have to care at all since it is not their life that is at stake but yours.
When you ruin your life by neglecting or misunderstanding your condition, lives of people you love become ruined as well. Those who refuse to ruin their lives may have to sever the relationship with you completely. People who are suffering from post traumatic stress are actually admitting that they have devoted their life to this marriage and they really want to restore happiness. Ruining your life with your own hands cannot be justified even when you suffer from post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity.
You must first and foremost focus on your own recovery and restore happiness as an individual. When you cure post traumatic stress, all your wounds in mimind will disappear and you will be able to recognize how precious every moment of your life was including the bad ones and the sad ones. You will be able to have the ability to guard and reinforce your happiness. Then, you can protect your children and family and give your spouse an opportunity to treat himself or herself.
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