[Infidelity Therapy] Guidelines to follow upon discovering spouse infidelity


Spouse infidelity is a major crisis in the marriage relationship. Most people don't know what to do and lose control of themselves upon discovering spouse infidelity. You may be able to deal with spouse infidelity once you understand the true nature of infidelity. 

In addition to accurately understanding the true nature of infidelity, you must also abide by the following instructions. Otherwise, you will be swayed by your traumatized- self, and behave irrationally and destructively in spite of yourself based on your post traumatic stress. 

1. Do not meet friends or acquaintances if possible. Wounds of post traumatic stress deteriorate as you are affected by human relationships. Not only negative emotions but also positive emotions that are derived by interactions with people will aggravate your psychological condition. 

2. Never talk about spouse infidelity to other people. They may make incorrect advice, make improper consolation, or develop selfish purposes in the relationship with you. They don't know the true nature of infidelity, either. You will end up severing the relationship with people who know about spouse infidelity after you restore your condition.

3. Do not upload writings about spouse infidelity on the internet communities. Sharing your story with other people on the internet will lead you to communicate with other people, which in turn leads to developing distorted standards and depending on consolation and empathy aggravating your condition. 

4. Neither make any secret investigation on spouse infidelity nor try to understand spouse infidelity from a practical point of view. You spouse has developed relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder, so normal people cannot understand his or her behaviors. As you make secret investigation on spouse infidelity, you will learn about things that are beyond your imagination and end up breaking up with your spouse feeling helpless. 

5. Never blame yourself. Whatever your spouse says to you is an excuse to justify his or her infidelity. The cause of infidelity is relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder, and it is your spouse not yourself who committed infidelity. There is no reason whatsoever for your blaming yourself for spouse infidelity. 

6. Do not look for information on infidelity or counseling or read any related books. Hardly any source provides correct information on infidelity at present. Most sources provide information based on physical and psychological perspectives, which are visible and superficial. The more misunderstanding you develop on infidelity, the more your condition of post traumatic stress will deteriorate. 

7. Please, gather your will power for restoring individual happiness and happy marriage relationship. Of course, you can get a divorce after you treat post traumatic stress if you still want to, but for now, you need to think that you will restore happiness and marriage to be able to keep your will power for treatment. When you decide to get a divorce before you restore healthy psychology, you will not feel the need to treat your condition and seek only pleasure aggravating post traumatic stress. 

8. Remember that outward expressions of rage and pain will only aggravate post traumatic stress, which will aggravate your spouse's relationship addiction and negatively affect your children's psychology. 

9. Never use any violent language or any violent behavior. Violent language and behaviors can never be justified under any circumstance and it will eventually catch up with you. 

10. Do not waste your money on meaningless things. Unnecessary spending you are making now come from the psychology of compensation for suffering from post traumatic stress. If you begin to spend money for consolation and compensation, you will have to spend more and more as your condition advances. You will realize that you have wasted what you have worked so hard all your life to achieve to no avail. 

The above are the least of ways to minimize aggravating post traumatic stress and minimize practical damages. However, you cannot go on only with ways to minimize aggravating your condition forever. They may be useful to suppress the growth of post traumatic stress, but you still keep suffering from excruciating pain everyday.

You must treat post traumatic stress as soon as possible even if you adopt the above instructions in the mean time. It is hoped that you will overcome the crisis of spouse infidelity wisely and restore the happiness of yourself and your family. 



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