[Review] I guess I did not know about myself at all.

 

I did dot know that men's mind and women's operate differently, but I thought that I knew all about everything and live in pride. Since I started the treatment program, I have been learning about new concepts and how precious human relationships are. Now, I also know that everyone's thought standards are different. 

I was not able to fully focus on the training because I have been in quite a stressful situation. It is 7 months into my treatment starting on February the 20th and today being September the 22nd. I feel relieved that at least I know the treatment method even though I still have difficulties. I used to be overwhelmed by all different types of problems including panic disorder, eating disorder, sociophobia, amnesia, and claustrophobia. At first, my biggest wish was to be able to eat food. Now, I even have appetite and am gaining weight. I find that avoiding addiction and being cautious in relationships are important. I should be careful since I have not fully recovered yet. It is still confusing and painful, but I am determined to become intact and healthy.

I never imagined that treating my condition would be this painful. However, I feel that my head is getting clearer little by little. I want to thank Mr. Kim and all the staff at KIP. I am writing this review since I feel quite intact and healthy at this moment.

[Comment from KIP]

The treatment program consists of 1) Mind Training, 2) Therapeutic tasks, 3) Self-check on progress, and 4) Viewing reference materials. It takes 3 to 6 months to treat the condition to a substantial degree and another couple of years to build prevention ability and happiness ability, which is considered as complete cure. 

As you learn about the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology through Mind Training, you will realize the importance of human relationships in one's life. When you internalize the contents of the mechanism as habits, you will be able to treat and prevent your psychological disorders. As you proceed with the treatment program, you will experience the surprising effects of treatment you have never imagined, both in your body and mind. 

You have not reached the full recovery and you will repeatedly experience recurrence of symptoms on the way. Please, remember where you started and keep your hope for complete cure and happiness reading your own reviews once in a while. Also remember that the only way to reach true happiness is to keep up with the will power and efforts under any circumstance. 

Your own happiness must be prioritized over anything else in your life. Only then, you can live happily with your loved ones and in other relationships. 

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac 

 

How to solve problems wisely

 

We cannot but face many problems in life. Sometimes, it is not easy to solve problems in a wise and sensible way. To be able to solve problems wisely and sensibly, we must first accurately understand the concept of problems. 

As problems occur in your life, you may feel anxious and frustrated indicating that you are in a difficult situation. Human beings are to experience ups and downs of emotions everyday. You may feel comfortable one moment, then delighted the next moment, and then sad, and then comfortable again. Happiness is formed as both positive and negative emotions circulate in life. In this process, we also encounter moments of crisis with major problems of life. The three areas where major problems can occur are survival, relationship, and sexuality. 

When you encounter major problems of life, you can recover only when you have the will to solve the problem without giving up. To be able to solve the problem wisely, you must first accurately understand the root cause. If you keep trying to solve the problem only basing your judgment on visible phenomena, you will encounter more or even bigger problems. 

If you depend on other people to solve problems of you life, you will also aggravate the situation. The anxiety and frustration you experience due to problems of life can never be recognized or understood by other people. Depending on other people for any matter of your life is likened to living other people's life. You must build the will power to be able to solve problems on your own. Problems will only grow as you blame others or yourself or develop dependency.

It is important to accurately understand the fundamental cause in solving the problem. Also, it is natural to go through trails and errors as you try to solve problems. However, trial and error will make you build problem solving abilities. Then, you will be able to solve even bigger problems without giving up or developing dependency. 

Many people focus on only the visible phenomena instead of the nature and the root cause of the problem. The first thing you need to do is to reflect upon yourself and your condition and restore your healthy psychology. Then, you can find the root cause of the problem itself and solve the problem in a practical way. As you try to find the root cause and solve the problem without maintaining or restoring healthy psychology, you are automatically led to blame yourself or others and develop dependency, which will only aggravate your psychological condition and the situation.

When you do not have healthy psychology in pain with anxiety and frustration, you may view the situation negatively and lose right judgment. You may involve other people in solving the problem and make the error of self-justification. You need time for self-reflection when you experience emotional difficulty, which will lead you to see everything more clearly and make right judgment. 

You will necessarily experience trials and errors trying to solve the problem even when you have healthy psychology. Trials and errors will make you build your own unique thought standards and your own problem solving ability. The more standards you have, the more abilities for judgment you will have. You must build the will power and keep making efforts to solve problems in the right way maintaining healthy psychology. When you try to solve the problem after finding the root cause, you first need the will power before anything to be able to keep making efforts without giving up or developing dependency. 

A simple example of solving a problem is a case of an argument between two people. Suppose you went into an argument as you have a conversation with someone. You ended up becoming emotional and yelling at each other. You must first stop interacting to be able to reach reconciliation. Then, you must find the root cause of the problem. If it is judged that you had an argument because you had different ideas, you must stop arguing and keep silence until you find the underlying cause of having different ideas. Finding the underlying cause will make you find the solution wisely. After solving the problem by acknowledging the difference in ideas, you can restore positive emotions toward each other. You don't have to find the cause of the emotional conflict since it occurred just because you didn't know the root cause of the problem. 

You must not let small problems pass by by avoidance or negligence since big problems will occur as a result of small problems being accumulated. As you try to solve small problems in the right way one by one as they occur, you will be able to prevent the occurrence of big problems and build problem solving abilities. 

Many people do not try to solve problems on their own and choose to blame themselves or others and develop dependency. They can never develop problem solving abilities and enter the vicious cycle of experiencing problems, giving up or developing dependency, and having bigger problems. They also have difficulty in self-actualization since they don't have the will power to overcome stress and wounds. We can live a meaningful and valuable life only when you take charge of your own life and solve problems on your own. 

People who do not live a life with healthy self-centeredness do not have basic problem solving abilities, and they are easily put in danger of being manipulated by other people. You must keep trying to solve your problems on your own even if you are clumsy and feel uncomfortable and unconfident. If you don't take actions fearing errors and failures, you will not be able to build problem solving abilities and live a life as you want. 

https://youtu.be/s4P7zlmgvIo

     Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                  http://www.uip.ac 

Self-justification of people in infidelity

 

Many people who commit infidelity justify themselves by attributing their infidelity to problems of love, sex, and marriage relationship. They never admit that infidelity is caused by relationship addiction, which is a type of psychological disorder and argue that there is nothing wrong with them. The victimized spouse and psychology experts believe their argument and try to solve the problem and cope with the situation accordingly. 

This fallacy on the nature of infidelity causes diverse psychological and practical problems. The victimized spouse mistakenly thinks that the marriage relationship will improve when the spouse in infidelity corrects the conscious thoughts and behaviors, with neither party understanding the underlying mechanism of infidelity and psychological disorders. They may even be guided by experts to take practical actions such as getting a divorce or filing a lawsuit to solve the problem, which is to deal with only the surface phenomena aggravating the psychological conditions of both the victimized spouse and the spouse in infidelity and leading to even more dire consequences in their future life.

The accurate understanding of the nature and the underlying mechanism of relationship addiction instead of believing the argument of self-justification of the spouse in infidelity must precede any action for psychology treatment and recovery of happiness. The most basic concept to be understood in all cases of infidelity is that infidelity is a result of relationship addiction, which is a type of psychological disorder and the victimized spouse suffers from post traumatic stress that occurs acutely upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. Both cases require immediate and adequate psychology treatment before anything to prevent the complete collapse of the couple involved and their family members. 

https://youtu.be/QmUxSU5IGCY

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)   

[Review_Infidelity Therapy] Committing infidelity is divine retribution in and of itself.

I myself developed relationship addiction and committed infidelity to be compensated for my husband's infidelity. I went through an utterly painful time to treat relationship addiction through Mind Training. I could reason that infidelity is the manifestation of a psychological disorder but my heart wandered about losing the direction. The first-hand experience of the pain taught me why infidelity itself is punishment. 

Relationship addiction covered up the pain that I was supposed to sense. I didn't know that I was drinking salt water and endlessly trying to quench my thirst. I still go back and forth and linger on some unidentifiable things, but at least I know what to do and how to live now. 

I had relationship addiction on top of post traumatic stress, which means I just went all the way down to the bottom. I wanted to give up many times and had to pull myself out of despair. However, I had children to take care of and I worked hard to recover. Now, I feel calm and fine and praise myself for doing this much and dreaming of happy future. 

I will keep making efforts until I fully recover. I want to thank Mr. Beomyoung Kim and all the staff at Korea Institute of Psycho-education. 

[Comment from KIP]

As you have said, committing infidelity itself is punishment. Infidelity is caused by relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder. It destroys human relationships and psychology of many people sacrificing everything for one's own pleasure.

Most people experience post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity or upon developing the doubt of spouse infidelity. The desire for compensation may lead to revenge affair, impulsive shopping, immersion into diverse activities ruining one's own life and other people's lives. 

It is a rare case that someone in relationship addiction decides to treat the psychological disorder and stop seeking pleasure. Most people keep living an unhappy life for the rest of their life. You can absolutely praise yourself for getting out of the danger. 

It takes time and effort to treat a psychological disorder and you will go through some difficulties in the process. You are a wise person so you will do well to restore healthy psychology and happy family. You have made an excellent choice. 

All humans make mistakes at some point in their life time. It is crucial to realize the mistake and correct it for the future. Unfortunately, many people self-justify for their mistakes and just continue to make mistakes for the whole life.

Please, remember where you started and focus on all the tasks assigned with the strong will power. You will soon achieve complete cure and find yourself living happily with your family. 

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Review_infidelity Therapy] The right choice for myself is the right choice for everyone.

I wish I were the bright moon light shining through the window. I wish my mind were the stars shining in the sky.

It has been 4 months since I started the treatment program. I would be still suffering from even greater pain than I have had so far, if I had not focused on treatment listening to the training recording and doing therapeutic tasks. 

It was a wise choice for myself and for my family to take the treatment program. I would have gone through so many dangerous moments otherwise. I know I still have a long way to go and I will cry and feel hurt for some time to come before I fully recover. I also know that everything is up to myself and my mind. 

I thought that I could never become gentle and calm again, but my thought has turned out to be wrong. I try to keep in mind that I must focus on treatment and not pay attention to my husband. I cheer up myself to keep making efforts for my future happiness. 

[Comment from KIP]

Many people hesitate before taking the treatment program since it is unfamiliar and expensive. It also seems more difficult than just taking quick and easy measures such as getting a divorce or filing a lawsuit. 

You were courageous enough to choose the right path for yourself and your family. Please, remember where you started and keep making efforts until you achieve full recovery. 

You have finished the first phase of the treatment program and have begun the recovery phase that takes another couple of years. Feeling comfort without treatment puts you in danger but feeling comfort in the process of treatment is part of the journey to happiness as far as you keep going. 

Reading your own reviews once in a while will help you keep up with the will power and efforts. Soon, you will find yourself living a happy life after a complete cure.  

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Review_Infidelity Therapy] If I had just passed by the opportunity for treatment.

I am writing the review of the treatment program in the 16th week of treatment. I had never imagined my wife's infidelity even when we had fights over all different matters, we kept distance from each other, we just focused on taking care of children as parents. I found evidence of wife's infidelity here and there and I felt my whole life had collapsed. I felt that everything in my life just had disappeared. I was pain-stricken, suffered from unbearable sorrow, and had suicidal ideation.

I got myself immersed into searching for information on infidelity through social media and spent a lot of time reading and watching related materials. I accidentally watched Mr. Kim's video lecture, where he said that the cause of infidelity is relationship addiction and the victimized spouse must treat post traumatic stress before anything instead of taking any practical measures, protect children, and provide the spouse in infidelity with an opportunity for treatment. 

I watched more of Mr. Kim's videos for days and decided to take the program after taking some more time to blame myself and be frustrated not knowing what to do. I thought I could live almost 40 or 50 years more but I was completely lost in my life. I thought my children would live even more than that and I didn't want to lose the opportunity to become happy with my children again regardless of the time and expense that would take. My life and my children's life were at stake. I was determined to treat myself by all means and I wanted to give my wife an opportunity to treat herself. I wanted to live. 

I visited the office feeling grave and paid for the program. I was given the textbook and I followed the guideline for watching training videos, doing therapeutic tasks, and getting self-check for progress. As days and weeks passed, I was simply amazed at the rate of psychological and physical stabilization I was experiencing. 

As many training members have mentioned in reviews, it is an astonishing experience that people who have not gone through it can never know. If I had not listened to Mr. Kim's advice, if I had attacked my wife and took any practical measure such as getting a divorce or filing a lawsuit, or if I had taken psychology counseling for the whole time, I would not be what I am now, I would not be able to smile at my children, and I would have lost hope. Such thoughts make me actually feel dizzy even now, when I am into the 16th week and listening to training recording and doing therapeutic tasks.

I do my therapeutic tasks everyday promising myself that I will treat myself, protect my children, and restore my happy family. I gather up my will power every week reading the simple reply for self-check, “Please, keep up with your efforts.” Suddenly, I am crying really badly finishing this writing, which I guess will slow down my treatment. 

[Comment from KIP]

Many people start the treatment program in a similar situation and a similar idea to yours. Many people also give up the treatment for different reasons and end up collapsing while taking other measures than adequate treatment. 

You seem to be keeping your will power very well. You will experience progress as well as the recurrence of the condition repeatedly in the process of treatment and finally achieve complete cure and happiness ability. You will soon be living a happy life and all your painful past memories will be remembered as precious ones. 

You seem to have achieved the first phase of psychological stabilization now. It will take a couple of more years to prevent the recurrence of symptoms and build happiness ability. Please, continue with your efforts in all components of treatment program : Mind Training, therapeutic tasks, self-check on progress, viewing reference materials.

You will achieve the realization of true happiness and live a happy life for the whole life time. Please, remember where you started and read your reviews once in a while to keep up with your will power and efforts. 

 

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Review] The worst enemy is myself.

Yes. I always blamed and found fault with other people. I thought I would feel better if others changed and listened to me. Coming out of my own delusion was the hardest thing and I am also learning that you can learn things only through direct experiences. 

I learned that wounds are accumulated when I just stay in comfort.

I learned that I regain composure when I do therapeutic tasks.

I learned that I should build passion and dream of my future. 

My thought in the conscious can be delusional. 

Thought changes and my thought at any given moment can be an illusion. The environment seems to stay the same, but I still have a difficult time to make decisions. I know I have not been able to live as I want since I didn't make my own decisions. I guess I have fear of doing new things, but I heard women tend to be indecisive and it is nothing to worry too much.

It turns out that I have common personality for a woman but I always envied people who were different from me. I feel fine, but now, people seem to see that I have changed. I don't really care about others' eyes any more. I rather focus on myself giving attention to myself and reflecting on my thoughts and behaviors. 

I guess I have talked too much. I feel kind of lazy to do the tasks, but I try to think only about my treatment and happiness.

Thank you. 

[Comment from KIP]

Only you yourself can treat your condition. No one else can treat you. People keep asking for treatment through psychology counseling, but it does not lead to treatment at all. Some people do not even think about treatment and seek comfort and pleasure causing unhappiness.

You will train yourself to control your emotions and build treatment and happiness ability. Self-check will help you maintain the will power and continue with efforts. Many members go through what you are going through now. You envied other people before you began treatment program, but now you feel composed and stable, which indicates that you are progressing well. 

When you build happiness ability, happy people will try to stay close to you and unhappy people will naturally leave you. Please, remember where you started and keep making efforts consciously thinking about the happiness you will soon achieve.

 

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac 

[Review] I am recovering from 30-year-old pain.

 

I have been in KIP treatment program for almost 2 years. 

I had lived with post traumatic stress that developed acutely more than 26 years ago when I was a child. The acute post traumatic stress occurred one day and caused extreme anthropophobia. I feared children at school and lived in fear except for the time when I was asleep. I had to suppress the desire for screaming and running away when someone came close to me. I made countless numbers of suicidal attempts, was diagnosed of all kinds of mental disorders, and was on all kinds of medication. I lived in the pain any human being could barely endure. I was neither alive nor dead. 

I became dependent on religion to stay alive and people couldn't see my condition, but I was constantly thinking about suicide. I accidentally watched Mr. Kim's YouTube videos and he was talking about some theories on human mind and psychology I had never encountered before. I corresponded with him through e-mails and began the treatment program. 

I have experienced joy and happiness for the first time in my life in 30 years as far as I remember as if I had returned to the time when I was really young as a child. I sometimes even think that my past life full of pain is unique and precious which only I had the privilege of experiencing. 

I simply don't know how I can express my gratitude to Mr. Kim. and his treatment methods. If I am asked whether I would make the same decision upon the treatment program, I would definitely do it again no matter how costly it is. My life is not something that can be compared with the amount of money. 

I have not fully recovered yet, but I dare to say that humanity will be rescued by this treatment method. My mind and psychology with cancer is improving and I can move about without much pain. I will do the therapeutic tasks today as usual and I know I will be one day closer to complete cure tomorrow. 

I realize everyday that this treatment method really works. The existence of such a method was beyond my imagination for 30 years. I will keep making efforts. 

[Comment from KIP]

Ironically enough, you seem to realize the effectiveness of the treatment more than anyone since you went through the most severe kind of psychological difficulties for a long time. It is a pity that so many people live unhappily without having a chance to treat, but reviews on a treatment case like yours will encourage more people to take the right path. 

You can be grateful to yourself for choosing this program after trying all other methods and for making efforts for recovery. It takes more than healing methods and prevention methods to treat severe cases of psychological disorders. 

You seem to be enjoying the fruit of your hard work these days. Please, remember where you started and keep focusing on therapeutic tasks consciously imagining the day when you have achieved true happiness. 

Post traumatic stress is considered to be the most excruciating psychological pain humans can experience. Many people give up on treatment and choose to live the worst kind of life. You will soon find that your whole life including the most dark parts in the past has turned into happy memories, your present is fulfilling, and your future looks bright.

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac 

[Review_Infidelity Therapy] What would have become of me if I had not taken Infidelity Therapy?

 

[Review_Infidelity Therapy] What would have become of me if I had not taken Infidelity Therapy?

If I had lived without knowing about my husband's infidelity, I would be an adult-child who is innocent, ignorant, and childish even until now. 

If I had not found out about Mr. Kim's Theory of Mimind, I would be still struggling with pain that only those who have experienced it can know, would have caught a serious disease, or would have developed wound dissociation. My body, my mind, and my family would not be mine any more. 

If I had quit the treatment program half-way, I would be pouring my energy into meaningless and potentially dangerous relationships without having composure and gratitude or pursuing values. 

The path I took was not easy but I am proud of the last 2 years of my life. I had to go through the pain of the whole world and existence itself collapsing, and then I guess I  have become my own firm ground and high sky.   

I am simply grateful for everything. I thank my ancestors who made my existence possible, my parents who gave birth to me, my husband who came into my life and supported me, and my children who are so adorable. 

I like waking up in the morning to the shining sun.

I like a cloudy day when I can go out without wearing sunscreen.

I thank the cool rain with pleasant sounding raindrops.

I thank my children, who are unruly but healthy. 

I thank my mother, with whom I can talk and smile even when my father is sick in bed. 

I like seeing may parents having arguments like a young couple. 

I don't really mind wearing a mask everyday everywhere in the midst of this pandemic. 

I like the idea that I can enhance my immunity by focusing on the treatment and restoring healthy psychology. 

I am filled with feelings of gratitude.

Would I be having such happy moments without treatment?

I thank everyone who helped me in the process.  

I also applaud myself for keeping making efforts for all the time. 

[Comment from KIP]

The concept of 'if' does not exist in life. You made the decision, began treatment, kept making efforts remembering where you started, and finally, you have regained peace of mind. This is the process of treating psychological disorders and achieving happiness ability and only those who went through the process can experience. 

It is not recommended that you suppose too much about situations that did not happen in reality. Of course, it is important not to forget where you started by reading your own reviews. 

Many people are still taking the course of collapse giving up on recovery for many reasons and aggravating their conditions through law suits, divorce, and activities of diversion. They blame themselves or other people and seek comfort and pleasure destroying their life and many lives of others.

You are absolutely entitled to enjoy feelings of gratitude and happiness. You made efforts on your own and earned happiness ability. You appear to be close to complete cure. Please, keep remembering where you started and continue with the will power and efforts. 

 

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

 

[Review_Infidelity Therapy] Waking up from a nightmare and spending time in heaven

I am taking the psychology treatment of type 2 psychological disorder. The memory of the nightmare from 2 years ago comes to me once in a while, but I would say the present time can be likened to heaven compared with the time I had all the horrible symptoms. 

It gives me goose bumps when I think what would have happened to me if I had aggravated the situation. I was lucky enough to watch Mr. Kim's videos accidentally and it was almost like I was saved by God. I am truly grateful. I recovered enough to do without sleeping pills and I was diagnosed for complete cure of sleep disorder, anxiety disorder, and panic disorder. 

He was such a good husband and family man so my sense of betrayal was extreme. Now, I understand everything and will not give up. I rather feel pity for him. I just try to focus on therapeutic tasks and look into myself and keep the will power and efforts. 

I hope that others in similar situations will keep up with the will power and that their most difficult times will turn out to be gifts that bring happiness in the future. 

[Comment from KIP]

I guess you were not sure about the effects of treatment when you first started the program with worries and doubts. However, you have chosen the treatment with your own determination. We have provided only reference materials and methods of treatment. You are the one who made efforts and treated your condition. The fact that you have recovered from sleep disorder, anxiety disorder, and panic disorder indicates that you made great efforts to overcome difficulties with strong will power.

As you continue with the will power and efforts aiming for a happy life, you will soon achieve complete cure and build treatment ability and happiness ability. I think you have done a great job of turning a major crisis in life into an opportunity for happiness.

Please, continue to make efforts until you completely recover. 

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

 

[Review] The moment of tranquility, looking into my soul

 

I have become wise enough to know that I will have good results with clear objectives even though the process will be difficult. I chose to become happy 2 years ago and I am following the path without any regret.

I faced the situation I had never imagined, but now, I am just going my way.

I am enjoying the time more than ever when I can look into myself and face my inner self through taking the innovative treatment methods of Mind Training and therapeutic tasks. 

You are supposed to enjoy what you cannot avoid. I was in the situation where people who have had a good life experience post traumatic stress. I was told not to look back, but I did, and that's what I found. My only fault was to live earnestly and diligently and that is my only medal in life. 

I still have pain in my body and mind from what I have gone through for the last couple of years, but I realize that this is also a part of the whole process to happiness and I will keep making efforts.

I understand that it is hard to form new habits considering my age, let alone forming habits of happiness. Life is neither long nor short. There are only two ends in the spectrum, but there is always middle points, from which diversity comes. I will go on with this path of happiness of my choice, and I love myself and am proud of myself for doing it. I wanted to write a review before 2 years pass after I started the therapy.

[Comment from KIP]

I wish many people who suffer from pain due to psychological disorders would choose to treat themselves as you did. Not many people start the treatment program with  confidence on the treatment. With or without confidence, people who choose to treat their condition are considered to be wise enough compared with people who choose to live an unhappy life keeping the pain and the pathological condition. Many people who do not know about the treatment are led to live destroying their life and inflicting damage on other people mistaking pleasure for happiness. 

Luckily, you have started the treatment with confidence and strong will power. You were able to focus on all the treatment procedure and maintain the level of efforts. I can assure you that you will never regret your choice. It usually takes 1 to 3 years to treat psychological disorders and post traumatic stress. Anyone who argues for a quick and fast cure is considered to have no adequate treatment program. Such program is actually likely to aggravate the condition even further. 

You will be able to cure your condition and build happiness ability soon as you continue with your efforts. You deserve to be proud of yourself for not giving up on happiness and being courageous enough to choose the right path upon facing the biggest crisis in your life. Please, remember where you started and make efforts consciously to do all the therapeutic tasks and self-check until you achieve complete cure and happiness ability. 

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac 

[Review_Infidelity Therapy] Change after 7 months of treatment

 

I am writing a review to leave the record of how I am changing through the treatment with Infidelity Therapy program. 

My post traumatic stress occurred 15 years ago. I experienced rage, and then severe depression, and then I only focused on raising children. My husband was erased in my mind for the 15 years, but rage came back one day last year when I saw my husband smiling at me. Then, I decided to take Infidelity Therapy.  

Mr. Kim, the director of KIP, repeatedly said one cannot but live the worst life when post traumatic stress is not adequately treated. I could understand what he meant since I grew up in such a family. 

It has been 7 months since I started the treatment program, and I go back and forth between mild depression and positive emotions. I think that I developed delusional jealousy towards my husband since I was influenced by my mother when I was a child. Now, I can interpret my past life better putting more puzzle pieces together through better understanding of human mind and psychology. 

My family experienced infidelity and my husband's family experienced bereavement. Both families are suffering from consequences. I think that only my own family with my husband and my children will survive the suffering. Now, I realize that all of my family and my husband's family went through excruciating pain, and I forgive and sympathize with them with all my heart. I feel sympathy for my husband for growing up in such an unhappy family. 

I know that I have not fully recovered, so I accept my condition without much anxiety or frustration. I also realize that perseverance is the most crucial factor for complete cure, which can determine the path of my life. I promise myself that I will show my sons how much I can change for better. 

[Comment from KIP]

Post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity continues to be aggravated unless properly treated. People with post traumatic stress try to get out of pain through diverse measure such as suppression, dependency, getting a divorce, or focusing only on children. However, post traumatic stress causes diverse other psychological problems and psychological disorders leading to unhappiness. 

You have made a wise decision to take Infidelity Therapy when you realized that post traumatic stress does not just go away no matter what you do. We can assure you that you life will change for better and you will become a happy person in a true sense when you complete the treatment program. You will even remember the past 15 years as happy memories. 

Please, do not be anxious for easy and quick treatment since it must take some time to treat all the wounds that have been accumulated throughout your life time. Do not forget where you started and maintain the will power focusing on the treatment to achieve complete cure. The time will come soon when you will smile at your past memories including bitter ones. 

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

 

How to build your own ability

Ability is the power to solve problems on your own. You are not born with abilities but you must build them with will power and efforts of your own. When you have abilities, you will do your best to solve problems by motivating yourself without giving up or avoiding. You must start by building basic abilities to solve small problems on your own to build greater abilities.

A baby who crawls will try to stand up and walk when time comes. When the mother keeps helping the baby with standing up every time he or she falls, the baby will not be able to build the ability to stand up on his or her own. The mother may help the baby a few times at first, but should let the baby control on his or her own just by watching. The baby will build confidence as he or she repeats falling and standing. When the baby has fully built confidence, he or she has built the ability to stand up. Knowing that he or she can stand up on his or her own, the baby will try to walk as the next stage. The baby has set the goal, made efforts continuously, built the ability, and achieved the goal. 

You need a specific and feasible goal to build the ability be it standing up, walking, or running. You may give up easily when the goal is too high and keeping will power and making efforts are too difficult. Also, memory plays an important part in building abilities. Knowledge, information, and experiences are combined in memory. You will acquire and accumulate knowledge and information that accord with your goal, which will be stored in your memory. Then, you will think about how to make use of your knowledge and information to achieve the goal. As you repeat this whole process, you will build habits of creativity, which is the core component that allows you to achieve the goal.        

When you have your own ideas based on acquired knowledge and information, you are to pursue your goal and take actions. You cannot achieve anything if you just think and worry without taking actions, whether they bring about good or bad results. Abilities are built in the process of trial and error taking actions, experiencing failures, and correcting strategies. You should also build the power to overcome failures through experiencing trial and error. You will accumulate experiences by analyzing the past trials and errors and complimenting strategies. 

You must believe in your own thought and go for it rather than just staying in the fear of failure. No success comes without trial and error. If you get lucky and succeed from only one trial, you will also collapse easily since you do not actually have the ability. You don't have to despair upon failure since it will serve as nutrients for the future success. Abilities are built when you make continuous efforts towards the goal with will power and habits of success. 

As you pursue self-actualization in human relationships, you are to face small and big problems repeatedly. When you confront and solve relational problems instead of giving up or avoiding, you will also build your own ability to solve problems. As you experience many trials and errors, you will have more thought standards and adequately deal with stress and psychological wounds. You will become confident and positive upon facing problems maintaining strong driving force.

Teenagers, who are in the phase of the formation of self-identity, must be allowed to take as many trials and errors as possible to be able to build their own thought standards and values through experiences. As parents keep protecting teenagers overly and decide for them, they will be deprived of opportunities to build their own abilities and end up developing dependency. 

Stress and psychological wounds are necessary in the pursuit of self-actualization in human relationships. You will develop psychological problems when you do not have the ability for recovery upon experiencing stress and wounds. This ability must also be built through your own experiences. You should learn what negative and positive situations can happen, how to deal with them, and how to read and judge others' expressions and behaviors. As you accumulate experiences in human relationships, you will build the ability to adequately address and overcome relational problems, raising the probability of success in both relationships and work and social life. 

Abilities are not inborn talent. Abilities are built through making continuous efforts toward the goal keeping the will power. Success will follow as you set your own goal, accumulate knowledge and information that accord with the goal, and keep making efforts experiencing trials and errors. Then, one day, you will be smiling at your past life looking back on every path you took. This is self-actualization and happiness of human life. 

All successful people have their own habits of success. That is, the habits of success result in the ability of success. However, the ability of success in one area should not be considered as the ability in other areas. When you set a new goal in a new area after succeeding in one area, you must start from the bottom by accumulating knowledge and information, building habits of success, and experiencing trials and errors as you already did in the area of your success. 

Different attitudes and values will determine different types of abilities even with identical knowledge and experiences. Some people will work hard in one area to achieve the expertise itself. Others will work hard in the same area to pursue financial success. The former will build the ability to become an expert, and the latter will build the ability to make money through the expertise. 

No great knowledge will lead you to success unless you take actions. No great experiences will lead you to creativity without knowledge and information. If you are already in your 40's and you don't have any basic ability, you can just start today by setting your own goal, acquiring knowledge and information, building habits of success by taking actions and correcting strategies based on trials and errors. You will naturally build abilities as you keep making efforts and one day you will find you are a successful person in your own way and you will smile at yourself and your life. 

https://youtu.be/3z0KQu9KXRI

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Anyone can be related with the issue of spouse infidelity.

 

     Not many people ever imagine that they would experience spouse infidelity in their life before they actually experience it. Most people think that such incidents would happen only to people who appear on TV or newspaper. They naturally suffer from the sense of betrayal and despair when it happens in their own life. 

     The victimized wife usually thinks that it is caused by problems of love above anything, and then problems of sex and marriage relationship. On the other hand, the victimized husband usually thinks that it is caused by problems of sex above anything, and then problems of love and marriage relationship.

      The issue of spouse infidelity affects not only the wife and the husband but also their family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. Then, who would be free from being affected by the issue of spouse infidelity during the whole course of life? You may think that such incidents can never affect you but it is very unlikely that you will die without ever experiencing spouse infidelity directly or indirectly in your life. 

     Infidelity occurs as a result of relationship addiction, which can happen to anyone suddenly and acutely. It can happen to you even if you never wanted it to happen. Especially, anyone who has a certain degree of social activities can be susceptible to getting involved in infidelity. 

     The real problem is that people in relationship addiction are self-convinced and justify their actions by arguing that infidelity is caused by problems of love, sex, and marriage relationship, and the victimized spouses and psychology experts believe their argument. This misunderstanding of the phenomenon has led to collapse of many individuals and families for generations. 

     We all must raise the awareness that infidelity can happen to anyone, it is an acute psychological disorder, and the prevalence of the wrong concept of infidelity in both experts and lay people has contributed to destroying many people's lives. It would be ideal to prevent such incidents in advance, but at least, we must accurately understand the phenomenon and treat psychological disorders to restore healthy psychology and happiness. 

     The spouse in infidelity has developed relationship addiction and the victimized spouse has developed post traumatic stress accompanied by the most excruciating psychological pain. The couple are considered to be in a crisis situation in their life respectively. They are in the turning point of life where they cannot but choose either happiness or unhappiness. They can restore healthy psychology and happiness through adequate treatment or live an unhappy life without proper treatment destroying the life of their own and their loved ones. 

     All the inadequate attempts to resolve the issue of spouse infidelity will lead to unhappiness, which include despair, suppression, dependency, seeking comfort or pleasure, and practical solutions such as divorce and law suits. In the process, people around you will also be negatively affected and may be led to destroy their life, too. 

https://youtu.be/lA-TNQP1TnY

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)   

A teenage girl who had conflicts with her mother and ran away from home

 

A teenage girl who consulted me said, "My mother keeps nagging and scolding me. She is irritable and angry all the time. She endlessly tells me to stop playing games, go to bed early, not eat snacks, take a shower, or study hard. I am sure she really hates me.”

 

“When I ask people why she hates me so much, their answer is that it is because she loves me so much. They say I have to understand her and I will know all that when I grow up. Some people say that she is only doing her best all for my own good. I simply cannon understand them or my mother. I really hate my mother and sometimes I just want to die. I don't want to go back home at all.”

 

I told her that both the mother and the daughter are females and all females have the same operational mechanism of mind and psychology. Females' unconscious operates feelings and it works at a much deeper level than the conscious. The operation of the unconscious cannon be controlled by the conscious and it may be manifested differently from intentions or thoughts. When females have psychological wounds, their unconscious attempts to treat wounds and generate the energy of love. In this process, females tend to express negative feelings and wounds toward people who are in close relationships with them. Mothers and daughters are likely to express their wounds to each other by such mechanism.

 

Her mother seems to be freely expressing negative feelings toward her daughter as an attempt to treat her own wounds. She is actually trying to generate energy of love by getting attention from her daughter. When both the mother and the daughter understand what is going on deep inside their mind, the mother can find some other ways to deal with her psychological wounds and the daughter can understand the mother better and act accordingly.

KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) : http://www.uip.ac/

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