[Mother Therapy] The benefit of parents’ stepping in when needed

 

What do you think about parents' close attention to their children when raising them? Is it necessarily a bad thing? There's a lot of talk these days about respecting your child's wishes, so if you're teaching and guiding them, that's a poor parenting method, but I don't think that's necessarily true.

Of course, it can be counterproductive to interfere too much in a child's life when they're forming their own ideas, but on the other hand, there are times when a parent's attention to detail can be invaluable, especially when a child is adjusting to a new environment or struggling to figure out how to relate.

For example, a first grader who is new to elementary school may not know how to relate to their friends, teachers, or school in general, and if you give them small reminders like, “Smile and say hi to your friends,” or “Listen to the teacher in class and raise your hand if you want to speak up,” they will feel less intimidated and less likely to be misunderstood. It's a way of teaching them how to deal with awkward situations before they ever have to face them, and it also helps them to feel more confident and secure if you're paying attention to them and praising and encouraging them when they do something well, no matter how small.

The same strategy can be applied with adolescence, when a child is going through an unstable period, and if you're able to stay on top of things, quietly intervene only when needed, and offer praise and encouragement, they feel that you really care about them. It's important not to be too intrusive, but to be there when they need you.

Just as there is no one right way to live a life, there is no one right way to raise a child. Giving attention isn't always a bad thing, and it's important to use it appropriately, depending on the child's personality, situation, and environment. A parent's presence, with advice and praise when needed, can help a child adapt to new environments, feel more secure, and develop healthy psychology.

                                   https://youtu.be/suHhnTRA4WI?si=wRaaf8K54jKYgE0V

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[Sex & Xes] Men who hide sexual dysfunction from their partner vs. men who talk about it

 

Today, we're going to look at the difference between men who hide their sexual dysfunction from their partners, their wives, or girlfriends - and men who talk about it. Before we get into the differences, let's consider how important sexual function is to men.

While women don't care as much about their sexual performance, men consider it to be the best thing they have. For example, if a group of men friends are at a bar and a guy tells other men that he's made a million dollars in profit from his business, everyone will be envious of him. Then, if he says, “But, I’m not doing so well sexually lately, you know...”, every man instantly feels sorry for him.

On the other hand, if a friend who's unemployed and looking for a job tells them that he's been having tireless, vigorous sex all night long, everyone will be the most envious of him. In other words, for men, sexual function is like a lifeline that they wouldn't trade for a million bucks. Even if they don't have anyone to have sex with, men who have good sexual function always have composure.

Would it be easy for a man to tell someone he loves that his sexual function is impaired when it's like their lifeblood? Even if the woman notices his sexual dysfunction and is concerned about it, he's likely to tell her that he's just tired and that it's no big deal, and then he'll diligently look for ways to fix it without anyone noticing. This is a very common approach men who have healthy psychology take. They know exactly what their problem is.

On the other hand, when a man readily admits to his partner that he has sexual dysfunction, it's likely that he has selfish purposes in the relationship. In this case, he usually doesn't come clean and say that he has sexual dysfunction. He usually says, “I can't get aroused because we've been doing the same thing over and over again,” or “I'm not attracted to you as much as before.” This is not recognizing sexual dysfunction as his problem, but rather transferring his problem to the partner.

This can lead to things like the man demanding different forms of sex, demanding the partner to look more provocative, or even worse, demanding sex with other people. It indicates that he already has a psychological disorder that tears both the man and the partner down.

So, when a man is caught cheating, he'll usually tell his wife, “How can I have a sex drive with the way you look?” or “You are not active enough when having sex with me.” or something like that, and most of the time, the wife will actually think that there's something wrong with herself and that's why he's cheating. But in essence, it's the man himself who is sexually dysfunctional and he is cheating attempting to change the way he has sex and changing who he has sex with. Husband infidelity has nothing to do with the wife. Men who have sexual dysfunction try all these new things because men’s sexual dysfunction is temporarily restored when they recognize new sexual information, which sadly enough, aggravates their sexual dysfunction in the long term.

Of course, there are exceptions. Only a very small percentage of men will realize their sexual dysfunction and want to discuss it with their partner so that they can work through it together. In this case, it's more likely that the couple have been creating sexual happiness together for a long time, and the man is worried that his sexual dysfunction is interfering with his partner's sexual happiness and wants to work through it together.

When you understand the mechanism of men's sexual function, and the differences in whether or not a man talks about his sexual dysfunction, you can also understand what psychological condition he's in.

                                 https://youtu.be/y3LwxiJrTak?si=TiN6cHRxseERD8vP

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[Mother Therapy] Doing well at work ruins relationships? The truth is...

 

How are you balancing work and relationships? We can't live our lives without work and relationships. Work gives us fulfillment and financial security, and relationships make our lives richer and warmer. But when we focus on only one of the two, the other falters, and that's when problems arise. So finding a balance between work and relationships is the most important thing. I think we're all trying to find a balance between the two.

But the truth is, we also realize that it's very energy draining when we try to juggle work and relationships. I think it's important to never forget to take care of yourself in this situation, because if you're too exhausted, you're not going to be able to do your job well, and you're going to be overly sensitive in your relationships.

For example, when you're working hard, stress can build up, and if you don't release it in time, what happens? You can become irritable with your family or have conflicts with your coworkers, so it's really, really important to have your own personal healing practice, because taking care of yourself and balancing your mind and body will lead to better results in the end in both areas.

In my case, another important thing is to clarify my priorities between work and relationships. Once I sort out what goals I want to achieve and who I value most in my relationships, I'm clearer about where I want to spend my energy and less confused about the process.

For example, sometimes, work might be my top priority. If it's time to complete an important project, I'll talk to my family about it and share my schedule ahead of time to get their understanding. On the flip side, if there's an important family event or occasion, I might adjust my work schedule to prioritize family time. I think being flexible and understanding each other's circumstances is the key to finding balance.

At the end of the day, balance between work and relationships is something you create for yourself, no one else can do it for you, and it's something you have to decide for yourself. It's not easy to balance work and relationships, so instead of trying to do it perfectly overnight, why not start by making small changes that you can make, so that you can do your job well and maintain good relationships with the people you care about.

And don't forget that nothing is more important than taking care of your body and mind, because you can achieve your goals at work and maintain good relationships with people only when you are healthy.

                                 https://youtu.be/r1OYhoPVJUs?si=zccQKxR02mUd7SeW

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[Sex & Xes] Why Do You Need to Know about Sex & Sexuality?

 

People who either love sex or hate sex see it only in terms of its aspect of pleasure, which is why people who love sex try to sustain and enhance the pleasure, and people who hate sex say they don't need and don’t want the pleasure. Sex-loving people ignore or don't recognize the problems that arise from sex, and sex-hating people think about only the problems that arise from sex, which makes them dislike sex even more.

If you're in a couple relationship and both of you like sex, or if both of you hate sex, it doesn't create a conflict, but if one of you likes sex and the other hates sex, it creates a conflict and breaks down your relationship.

If someone came to you with these concerns, what would you advise them to do? Surprisingly, the vast majority of experts would recommend that the two of you align in the direction of having sex. They tell you that sex is a very good thing, and they try to change your perception of it. And if you like sex, they give you a bunch of solutions to help the partner who doesn't like sex enjoy it. The answer is already set in stone: you should have sex.

It's a strange thing. Clearly, one person is suffering because they're not enjoying sex as much as they'd like, and the other is suffering because they're being asked to do something they don't want to do, so why is the answer always one way? Can two people really have a healthy and happy union only if sex is good?

The outcome is completely dependent on whether the couple knows or doesn't know the essential concepts and functions of sex. If you don't know the essential concepts and functions of sex, and you have sex just because you are told sex is a good thing, you'll both suffer from damage to your bodies and minds. As a result, either both people become pleasure-seekers and lose their happiness as human beings; or conflicts escalate and the relationship is doomed; or, because experts have decided that sex is good, the person who doesn't want sex has to comply with the person who does, even though he or she hates it. This means that the rights and responsibilities of the couple are out of balance, and the relationship ends up being one of exploiter and exploited, making it hard to call them a couple.

On the other hand, understanding the essential concepts and functions of sex and sexuality leads both men and women to accept that sexuality is an important part of human nature. This removes the distorted purpose of having sex and prevents stress and wounds from occurring in mind. In this state, sex makes both people healthy and happy.

By understanding exactly what sex is and what it does, two people can live a healthy and happy life with or without it. They can have not the kind of superficial happiness in which one person suppresses and sacrifices for the other, but the kind of happiness that is true and without deficiency. Sex is only one of the means by which humans seek happiness, as there are many other means that can replace sex and still create great happiness. In other words, to have sex or not to have sex is a choice that should be made after accurately understanding what it is and what it does.

Pleasure and love are just one of the outcomes of having sex, but to get caught up in it and have sex for pleasure, or for love, or for anything else, is a serious error that distorts the nature of sex, because you're basically having sex based on a need for that something, and the energy that's generated serves to feed that need again and again.

So you have to be suspicious. You must question what sex is, why it's necessary for human beings, how it works, and what it does. When you find the answer to that, the problem of sex is fundamentally solved, and you will have the wisdom to live your life happily with or without sex.

                                  https://youtu.be/yFbXjySZZpA?si=cpYIzWVW00YCpJjW

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Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/ 

[Sex & Xes] Sexual dysfunction in men who commit sexual misconduct

Sexual harassment or sexual misconduct is a common occurrence in everyday life. Today, we're going to talk about sexual dysfunction in men who sexually harass, which is not to say that women don't sexually harass. Sexual harassment by women can also be very traumatizing and offensive, and women who sexually harass have serious psychological disorders. However, we're going to talk about sexual harassment and misconduct by men because it's more prevalent.

Not all men harass sexually, and the ambiguity exists when the behavior can be misconstrued as sexual harassment or not depending on how it's perceived by the other person. At the root of this misconception is the difference between how women attach emotions to sex and how men attach emotions to sex. For men, sex is just sex, and it's a feeling that goes away after the moment, whereas for women, sex is highly emotionally charged, and feelings of love or hurt arise connected with sexual actions. So men may think, “Why is she overreacting to something that's not a big deal?” and women may think, “How can anyone relate sex just with fun and enjoyment?” Just recognizing these differences will give us more scope for mutual understanding and consideration.

Of course, I'm not condoning sexual harassment and sexual misconduct. The workings of sexuality can create deep wounds in women’s mind and deep xes wounds in men’s xesmind that lead to sexual dysfunction.  The more sexual information men perceive, the more xes wounds they accumulate, causing damage to their bodies and resulting in sexual dysfunction.

Men who sexually harass and molest rarely focus on one person. They are sexually oriented to a large number of people since they always try to perceive new sexual information from others. Big problems for them is that they perceive an enormous amount of sexual information, which is way too much to deal with, before, during, and after they make sexual harassment.

A man who frequently engages in such excessive perception of sexual information has so many xes wounds that his sexual functioning cannot be intact. He is considered to be in a serious condition if he not only thinks about sexual harassment but also expresses it externally through words, actions, and facial expressions, and then perceives the other person's reaction again. It is important for women victims not to create wounds in their feelings but to just perceive the perpetrator only as a sick person who is sexually dysfunctional. To address the matter properly, it is also necessary to be very firm in dealing with the situation, as looking embarrassed, angry, or perplexed are all perceived as sexual reactions by the perpetrator.

It would also be great if this concept could be incorporated into sexual assault prevention training at workplaces. The more this information becomes known, the more people understand about the relationship between men’s sexual dysfunction and sexual harassment which need to be treated as a medical and psychological condition. If you simply try to stop sexual harassment, you're allowing their forcibly repressed desires to evolve and explode into something else, which could lead them to commit more serious sex crimes. If you think you might be one of those people, you should seriously consider treating your sexual dysfunction in the right way, because it is always accompanied by a psychological disorder that will destroy your relationships and your life altogether.

                           https://youtu.be/BkaJ9R_S6sI?si=Yla19jr9ZBqihXq5

                            About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/ 

[Sex & Xes] The serious reality of conventional sex education

 

Today, I'd like to talk about the seriousness of providing sex education without understanding the concept of xes psychology. The bottom line is that conventional sex education is not true sex education, but sex promotion education.

Human sexuality is a comprehensive concept that goes far beyond sexual behavior, and whatever sex you feel is what you feel in your mind, because the workings of the xesmind and xes psychology can never be recognized in isolation, but only through the mind. Like a core embedded deep inside the earth, sexuality is the energy supply for the mind, and depending on the direction of your thoughts and feelings, sexuality takes on two completely different faces. It can either destroy you and others, or it can lead you and others to happiness. Depending on what standards, memories, ideas, and feelings you have about sexuality in your mind, it will manifest differently.

Any sexual behavior is only the result of psychology and xes psychology at work, so there is no psychology in a sexual action itself. What about those who speak as if they knew everything about human sexuality just by analyzing sexual behaviors, and what would happen to people who accept a distorted view of the nature of sex as a result?

Here are some facts that are not known to many people. Humans make a distinction between general information and sexual information. Masturbation is closer to sexual perception than sexual expression. A woman's sexual sensations are enhanced and amplified by the workings of her mind, not her body. The xes mind is supposed to work solely on one's own mind, and not many people know how to do that. Not many people know how the xesmind works and why humans need sexual behaviors in the first place.

You will need to understand your own mind and how it works, and then teach others about sexuality. The working of xesmind is an unconscious process, and if you want to use it as your own blissful energy, you need to understand its nature accurately, and create habits of thought and habits of control in your unconscious mind. This is a process that takes time and effort.

I came across a theory that explained why women are passive and men are active when it comes to sex. In a nutshell, it was that women develop sexually slower than men because men and women observe their genitals differently from an early age due to physical differences, which leads to differences in perception of sexuality. This is called sexual self-observation. Does this sound plausible to you?

The concept of sexual self-observation doesn't make sense in the first place. Who on earth perceives their body as being sexual, especially from a young age? It's like saying that a child perceives their body as sexual information. It's one thing to look at your genitals frequently or infrequently, but it's another thing entirely to perceive some information as sexual or not. Also, when we say that women are less sexually developed than men, we're talking about the development of sexual awareness and the development of sexual sensitivity in the body, and in fact, if women intentionally develop sexual awareness and sexual sensitivity, they will automatically develop psychological disorders and live their lives chasing the pleasure of sex.

Women can have as much sexual pleasure and satisfaction as they want by controlling and utilizing the workings of their minds and xesminds, even without intentionally developing sexual awareness and sexual sensations in their bodies. The reason women have sexual desire is because their minds are wounded and need to be repaired, not because they open themselves up to sex.

We can all be sure of our thoughts and have beliefs, but if you want to be an expert who can influence people in any way, you have to constantly validate your thoughts and try to learn the right concepts. If you blindly spread misinformation for your own benefit, many people will fall apart and many societal problems will become rampant because of it.

Everyone should be able to protect themselves from the information that is out there about sexual psychology and sexual behaviors. I urge you to keep in mind that if your values and perceptions about sexuality are distorted, it will never lead you to happiness, but it will lead you to complete ruin.

                          

                                  https://youtu.be/0_z_p_FGPYI?si=BUdTdXFtyYUg7RhB

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[Sex & Xes] Men who deny sexual dysfunction

 

Men who recognize their sexual dysfunction are usually working for recovery, accepting that something is wrong with them and trying to fix it.

However, there are also men who deny their sexual dysfunction. They believe that their sexual dysfunction is caused by external factors and not by themselves, so the first thing they do is to change who they have sex with. When you change the sex partner, you're taking in new sexual information, so you feel your sexual function is enhanced but the effect is only temporary.

Accepting new sexual information by changing partners means developing further sexual wounds, and the result is that the sexual function gets even worse, but men don't realize it, so they may continue to change the sex partner, and if that doesn't work, they change the sex style or technique. Therefore, men who are constantly chasing and immersing themselves in the pleasure of sex looking for new stimulation can be considered to have an advanced condition of sexual dysfunction.

In other words, the process of searching for sexual pleasure is the process that destroys a man's life. The moment they deny their sexual dysfunction and attribute it to any external factor, this destructive process begins. If a woman is with a man like that, she has to be very careful because it's also going to destroy the life of the woman the man is with.

                                  https://youtu.be/9eDLqyTh8uc?si=VcIHclRFpA6bTOdy

                                About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/ 

[Mother Therapy] Build skills through hands-on experience

 

Before we do anything, we all think a lot about it: ‘Is this the right thing to do? What if I fail? What if something goes wrong? Am I really capable of doing this? etc. This can make you hesitate to try something, and if you have negative comments from people around you, you can get into a deeper rut. “Stick to what you're doing,” ‘That's not for you,” “Do you really think you can do this?” and so on. 

It's often assumed that a long period of reflection minimizes failure, and there's nothing wrong with that, but only if you have a clear purpose and goal. More often than not, overthinking just takes time, and you may miss the boat.

In fact, whether you execute after a long deliberative process or a short deliberative process, you're going to keep running into new and different problems along the way. No matter what you do, you're going to run into unexpected things, and a long deliberation process doesn't mean you won't run into problems. So once you've decided to do something, the fastest way to get to your goal is to take action before it's too late.

Of course, taking action doesn't mean you'll achieve your goal, but the experience you gain from every step you take adds to your skill set. You gain experience, and that experience is something you can't create with anything else. You don't get it by thinking about it, you don't get it by reading a lot of books, or you don't get it by taking advice.

If you have a great mentor through all of this, that's great. They can teach you skills and give you tips to solve problems in execution, but even if you don't, you can still get experience, and you can add to your knowledge, and you can put things together to make it your own. So if you're thinking about doing something today, why don't you stop thinking about it and just do it? It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be amazing, you can start small, and as you gain experience, it will become a tremendous skill and solidify the path you want to take.

                               https://youtu.be/WNdRfbxRV6Y?si=GzEsDEh1_U1FHwCS

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[Sex & Xes] Secrets of long-lasting male adult video actors

 

Men's sexual function is not weakened by aging. The more you have a desire for sex and immerse yourself in existing sex methods, the more your body and mind are damaged by the negative xes energy generated by it, and your sexual function is weakened. This negative xes energy causes sexual problems in men, and if you don't stop and pursue sex excessively through drugs or surgeries, you will develop psychological disorders and other unexplained physical illnesses. It can also be inferred that a person who seems to be healthy suddenly dying for no reason or having a coition death is caused by negative xes energy.

Male adult video actors who make sex their business are bound to experience psychological problems and physical problems, including sexual problems, more intensely than other men. So, how do long-lasting and legendary adult video actors maintain their sexual performance?

Of course, they may have been born with stronger physical durability than others, so even if they are damaged by negative xes energy, there are cases where their sexual function lasts longer than other men, but psychological disorders are inevitable even if their sexual function lasts physically. In such cases, the rate of destruction is only delayed, but at some point, complete destruction of the mind and body by negative xes energy will come.

Surprisingly, however, there are two cases in which men are not harmed by negative xes energy. The first is when a man thinks of sex only as a job. He does think of sex strictly as a job, to the extent that he does not have the purpose of sexual pleasure, and he treats it as if it were like any other regular job.

Negative xes energy comes from having sex with a purpose and a desire for sexual pleasure, so if you don't perceive having sex as a sexual action, or if you don't have a desire for sex, then you don't activate negative xes energy. In that case, you don't have sexual problems or dysfunctions, but the moment you find a partner you like, or the moment you start perceiving sex as sex, then all of that falls apart.

The second case is that, because you've made having sex your business, you may inadvertently realize the nature of human sexuality in the midst of all the sex opportunities you have, which is to realize the intrinsic gender roles of men and women in sex. The intrinsic gender role of a man is to not perceive sex as a means of self-pleasure, but to use himself as a tool like a dildo to make the woman's body and mind happy, and to do everything in his power to make her happy.

It doesn't matter if the sex partner is or isn't the woman he loves. Men, by their nature, keep love and sex separate. Of course, when love is involved, a man's passion amplifies his sexual sensations, leading to boundless pleasure. But even if love is not involved, if he's using everything he has for the woman partner at least for that moment, then he's having sex in accordance with his essential gender role.

In this case, the man has no specific sexual standards for his own pleasure, no desire for his own pleasure, and no purpose to use the woman, because he only has to adapt himself to the woman, and his sexual function is infinitely activated by the woman partner. Naturally, there is no damage to the body and mind caused by negative sexual energy, so the body and mind can remain healthy for a long time.

This is the kind of sex men should be aiming for. Most men think that having sex with a woman who doesn't meet their sexual standards and having no desire for sex will make it impossible for them to have sex at all, but the truth is that men need to play their natural gender role, not have any sexual standards for their own pleasure, and not have any desire for sex for their own pleasure, so that they can enjoy the pleasure of real sex they've never felt before.

                               https://youtu.be/GCiSMIHNR_k?si=4raHZxb9OPmoGgDR

                             About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/ 

[Mother Therapy] How do you solve problems? Building problem-solving skills

 

How do you deal with problems when they arise? Our lives are a series of problems and solutions. Sometimes in relationships, sometimes in our minds, sometimes in our work or in our daily lives, we are constantly faced with big and small problems that make us wonder, “Why is this happening to me?”

We all have different attitudes and ways of dealing with problems - some of us are good at staying calm and finding solutions, while others' first instinct is to avoid or run away. Are problem-solving skills something you're born with? Or can it be cultivated? I believe that problem-solving skills can be cultivated, just like a muscle that you develop through consistent exercise. It's a skill that gets stronger with experience and practice, just like physical training.

So how do you develop problem-solving skills? You can start by being open to new experiences. It's about stepping out of your comfort zone, embracing diversity, drawing a lot of simulations, learning something new that you don't normally do, trying new tools, meeting people from different fields and hearing about their experiences. The more you expose yourself to different perspectives and experiences, the broader your view of a problem and the better your ability to find a solution. I'm not suggesting that you go out on a limb and try something risky. It can be difficult at first, but it gives you the opportunity to see things from different perspectives.

Even if you've practiced looking at things from different perspectives, it's not always going to work every time, so it's important to stop and take a break when things aren't working. If something is stuck and it doesn't work out right away, instead of holding on to it, I'll stop and walk away and go for a walk or get a cup of tea. If it doesn't work out, I'll try to let go of everything and look away from it for a little while, or I'll do something easier that's quicker to solve. After I've satisfied myself by doing something easy, I'll come back to the stuck problem, and sometimes I'll see it again with a much lighter heart and find a clue to the solution.

The important thing is to find a method that works for you and stick with it. Problem-solving skills don't happen overnight, but if you keep an open mind, embrace new experiences, and practice consistently, you'll definitely get better at it. You may be stumped, upset, and frustrated in the moment when faced with a problem, but you'll soon find yourself able to shift gears and deal with it flexibly and effectively.

                                  https://youtu.be/228-hqW-DbQ?si=tr22gtQJ1N850f9j

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[Sex & Xes] Self-esteem and self-respect in sexuality

 

Self-esteem is about ideas, while self-respect is about feelings. In sexuality, there are many issues of self-esteem and self-respect, mostly self-esteem for men and self-respect for women. Men are hurt by words and actions that go against their ideas and concepts, and women are hurt by words and actions that go against their feelings and expressions. The lower your self-esteem in sexuality, the less control you have over sex, and without self-respect in sexuality, the expression of your feelings in sex will gradually disappear.

  For men, self-esteem in sex is very important because it involves your thoughts and ideas about your own sexuality. Low self-esteem in sex can lead to negative perceptions and rejection of your own sexual abilities. It can also lead to feelings of comparison, like you're not as good as others at sex.

  Self-respect in sexuality is very important for women. If a woman has low self-respect in sex, she will compare herself with others about the feelings and emotions of sex, and as a result of the comparison, she will feel inferior to others. They'll also have negative feelings about how much permission and freedom they have in sex, so they'll feel less empowered than before. They'll also feel hurt if they don't feel the same way about sex as their partner.

  For both men and women, the result of low self-esteem and low self-respect is a very negative  sexual relationship, resulting in rejection, discomfort, avoidance of sex, and a loss of self-confidence, causing self-deprecation, self-devaluation, and feelings of guilt toward the partner.

  If this situation persists and becomes entrenched, sex with your partner can become dull and dry, which is very different from dull sex related with just boredom. While overcoming boredom can bring back the pleasure and enjoyment of sex if the dull sex is due to boredom, the decline and loss of self-esteem or self-respect manifests as lethargy and disinterest, making it very difficult to analyze the specific cause of the problem. This is a matter of restoring lowered self-esteem and self-respect, not a matter of boredom, so the approach and analysis must be different.

  If couples are struggling with self-esteem and self-respect issues, it may be time for sexual counseling and therapy. This is when you need to seek professional help to heal the wounds, especially if you've experienced unwanted sex due to one-sided, coercive sex, or if you're in an unavoidable situation where you feel guilty after sex. When a person is forced to have sex in a situation where he or she feels rejection, guilt, discomfort, unpleasantness, or other negative feelings about sex, he or she may self-justify by converting the negative feelings into an attachment to his or her own entitlement or pleasure. This leads to enjoying and seeking pleasure from one-sided, coercive sex, and the self-justification process that changes the original concept of love and affection and leads to mistaking pleasure for love and affection.

  Self-esteem and self-respect in sexuality are unique feelings that each individual possesses, and damage to self-esteem and self-respect of sexuality has serious after-effects. This is why it is important to talk to each other about it, to express your feelings wisely, to understand each other, and to repair it with care and consideration. Even a casual remark can cause serious hurt in your partner. If it is not repaired, it will gradually go deeper and deeper into the heart, and it will not be resolved easily.

  When you have low self-esteem and self-respect in sexuality, both the person who was hurt and the person who hurt the partner can become victims. Sex is not something to be enjoyed alone, and it requires two people of loving mind, and ways to heal and recover from problems should be applied as soon as they arise. Behaviors that may harm the partner’s self-esteem and self-respect need to be changed and worked on.

                               https://youtu.be/-TEgXvhquyY?si=G5T1mzBCPMGAgGdr

                             About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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