Korea Institute of Psycho-education

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

1/22/2024

[Mother Therapy] Children who experience despair

When you realize that you cannot fulfill your dream anymore or you find out that your ideal and the reality are too far from each other, you may despair and want to give up on everything. You may feel depressed and lethargic suddenly and don’t want to do anything. Children can experience despair as much as adults do. Actually, Children may fall into despair over trivial things from adults’ point of view since they have only limited life experiences and limited thoughts standards.

Parents must understand the phases of children’s psychological development and the right parenting strategies to be able to provide children with healthy environment for overcoming despair. They have to guide children to break away from negative thoughts and feelings and go back to enjoying daily activities.

When children cannot get help from parents for overcoming despair, they may keep having negative thoughts and feelings and begin to blame self and others and develop the sense of inferiority. Then, they may end up seeking attention and consolation from other people in the wrong way and seek only diversion exposing themselves to dangerous situation.

It cannot be said that experiencing despair during childhood or teenage years has only negative effect on children. It can be a part of trials and errors children experience during growth period. It can provide them with opportunities to learn how to balance ideal and reality and form diverse thought standards. Experiencing conflicts and difficulties and overcoming them wisely through trials and errors can help children in pursuing self-actualization when they become adults. Children who do not experience any despair during growth period may have to deal with it as adults for the first time, but then, it can be more difficult and dangerous since they have to take full responsibility for their judgment and actions without any help.

Parents must provide children with a safe environment where children can overcome despair on their own and wait for them to restore healthy psychological condition. Children are much more able and resilient than adults think. It is parents’ role to help children exercise their ability and grow to be a healthy and confident adult.

https://youtu.be/WI2GtPtIRrM?si=rSM8AHiqN694QqlK

https://youtu.be/B6Gv48Stp2A?si=JuQR0krnmZ2xMlNL

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

[Mother Therapy] Preventing game addiction in teenagers

Hello, everyone. I am Jinhee Lee at Korea Institute of Psycho-education. Many teenagers spend too much time playing computer games or browsing the internet. When their behavior of playing games is accompanied with obsession, it can be called addiction. They cannot stand without playing computer games once they develop obsession. They feel relieved only when they play computer games and they repeat the process.

Your child may promise not to play the game for too long or play it only on the weekends, but he or she plays the game for too long or everyday again and again. This may or may not be the condition of addiction since you cannot tell whether it is accompanied by obsession and anxiety or not. Some may play the game too much without obsession and anxiety.

Playing computer games or browsing on the internet itself is not a problem. It provides fun and entertainment and we can learn a lot through the internet. However, when the behavior is in excess or fixated during teenage years, it may cause psychological problems such as addiction even in adulthoods.

What type of children would be susceptible to developing addiction to playing games and browsing the internet? It could more easily occur in children whose family structure is weak psychologically. Their parents are likely to have psychological problems or cannot provide safe and healthy environment for children for different reasons. Then, children have to satisfy their needs through some other things such as playing computer games all the time. They replace parent’s healthy attention and nurturing with playing computer games. When children get addicted to playing computer games or browsing the internet, they cannot maintain healthy relationships with family, friends, and other people and cannot enjoy other daily activities as normal children do.

What can we do to help children not develop addiction to games or internet? The best way is to help them build the ability to control themselves and the most important thing is to help them stabilize their psychology. They can be achieved through parents stabilizing their own psychology for transferring the stability to children. Then, children can control themselves based on healthy psychology and right judgment.

Most parents don’t understand why they keep playing computer games or browsing the internet and they just try to stop children from continuing such behaviors. This kind of approach will only make children find other things to get addicted to. Parents need to stabilize their own psychology and provide children with healthy environment where they can find what they like through trials and errors.

https://youtu.be/vjSRzjaS6Ag?si=KoGvwP6ZHYtP5RmC

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

[Sex & Xes] Men who suffer from excess sexual desire

Meh who have healthy body and mind work hard for his career or business with passion and find the state of immersion quite fun and pleasurable. They are pursuing values of life for self-actualization.

The energy with which men get immersed into pursuing values of life is quite powerful. As men stops getting immersed into their work after achieving their goal and get free from stressful and busy daily life, the energy also loses the goal and begins to wander about.

This condition may be manifested in men as depression or lethargy such as in burnout syndrome. They may begin to look for meanings of life and reflect on their past life deeply. Many of them are likely to experience excess sexual desire that stem from the energy of passion that has lost its direction.

Both men’s passion for life and sexual desire originate from xes energy. Men’s sexual desire can be transformed into passion for pursuing values of life. Passion for pursuing values of life can be transformed into sexual desire. Men who immerse themselves into pursuing values of life don’t think much about sex. They find working for their career or business much more fun and pleasurable than having sex. In this case, xes energy provides men’s body and mind with vitality and health.

However, as this xes energy is manifested as sexual desire, all the xes energy is used to generate negative energy and begins to destroy their body and mind. They may start to pursue sexual pleasure instead of values of life and develop sexual dysfunctions and problems in habits of psychology. As the condition progresses, they may end up developing psychological disorders that cannot be treated without professional intervention.

If you feel that you have achieved a great deal in your career and business and somehow suffer from excess sexual desire, you must understand that your xes energy has lost its direction and has been transformed into sexual desire. Now, it is time for you to set another goal of your life and get yourself immersed into pursuing the goal with passion.

If you still cannot get immersed into your work, cannot find fun and pleasure in what you do, and still suffer from excess sexual desire, you can treat your condition through Sex Therapy for Men. You already have experiences of getting immersed into your career and business and achieving success with passion, so you just need to learn how to redirect your xes energy into creating positive energy in your body and mind. Then, you can internalize the ability to make use of xes energy in a positive and desirable way to be able to maintain pleasure and happiness for the rest of your life.

Please, remember that excess sexual desire is the signal for crisis that directs your life to distortion and destruction and it can be cured completely.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Sex & Xes] Sexual desire of men who understand the operational mechanism of human sexuality

Human sexuality is always in operation in human mind, and it is called xes when sexuality is manifested without being connected with emotions, selfish purposes, or sexual desire in the conscious. On the other hand, when sexuality is manifested being connected with emotions, selfish purposes, or sexual desire in the conscious, it is called sex. Xes makes human body and mind healthy and restored, and leads us to generate positive energy, but sex destroys the body and mind and causes individual and social problems and leads us to generate negative energy.

We can make sexual expressions outwardly, and they can have positive or negative effects depending on how they are connected with our mind. When men and women learn about the operational mechanism of human sexuality, they can make not only their lives but also lives of others around them healthy and happy.

Then, what would happen to the sexual desire of men who know about the operational mechanism of human sexuality? Will they have sexual desire only toward women they love and protect? Not really. When men learn about the operational mechanism of human sexuality and internalize the concepts, they become to have no sexual desire at all, not even toward women they love and protect. Then, is it a bad thing to happen? Most men may think that losing sexual desire is an awful thing to happen to them. They may think that they need sexual desire to take sexual actions and have sexual pleasure. However, it is a sheer misunderstanding.

Sexual desire is the desire for one’s own sexual pleasure not for the partner’s sexual pleasure. It is not in play when men activate their sexuality in a positive way. Then, they can comply with women in every aspect in sexual actions and daily life without sexual desire for their own pleasure. They can be given intense sexual pleasure and sexual happiness by their women who have the ability to generate sexual happiness. Men can generate only a small amount of energy through sexuality compared with women, which makes men seek women who would share their xes energy with men. Men would do anything to have sex with women to share xes energy with women at the maximum level.

Men don’t have to do anything regarding activating sexuality since they don’t have the ability to generate xes energy in the first place. They only destroy their body and mind more and more as they keep wanting to have sexual pleasure through having sex. Men are designed to protect women they love and women are designed to make sexual expressions in a natural way without even thinking about it. Of course, women must activate sexuality in a positive way. Men don’t have the right to reject women’s lead in this situation since men’s body will react automatically to sexual expressions of women they love and protect. This is how human sexuality is supposed to be operated. To reach the highest level of sexual happiness, men must learn about the operational mechanism of sexuality and internalize it, and women must internalize the ways to make sexual expressions that accord with the operational mechanism of human sexuality.

https://youtu.be/ZMc1qi3oTOU?si=xu1bl1wf3EOzLVI_

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

1/10/2024

[Mother Therapy] Becoming good parents of teenagers

What does it mean by being good parents? No one starts being parents with a perfect manual for how to raise children. Most parents just start parenting without a clear idea of what good parents are and how to become good parents. They may look for good parenting methods and read books about them. They many have some knowledge on good parenting but it is not easy to apply it in daily life.

As children grow and become teenagers, parenting becomes harder since teenagers are in the phase of formation of self-identity and they seem to question everything they encounter in their life and look rebellious or difficult in parents’ eyes. Conflicts keep being intensified since teenage children and parents keep having arguments without understanding why they have conflicts in the first place. The list of points of conflicts is so long that parents and teenage children decide to stop communicating.

Children from the age 5 to 13 are in the phase of adaptation to relationships and teenagers from 13 to 19 are in the phase of formation of self-identity. Teenagers form their own thought standards during teenage years through diverse experiences and trials and errors. When parents don’t understand the process of psychological development, both parents and children get confused and cannot but develop conflicts. Taking practical measures to correct children’s thoughts and behaviors to accord with parents’ thought standards will only aggravate the situation and some parents may give up on making efforts for good parenting.

Children have the right to form healthy body and mind under the protection of parents, and parents have the responsibility to provide children with safe and nurturing environment. Parents must accurately understand the psychological development of children and guide them in the right direction even when children are in the late adolescence. Teenagers may look clumsy and awkward in many ways, but we just need to remember that they are still in the process of forming self-identity making all kinds of mistakes. Making mistakes and having diverse experiences will make them make less mistakes and be more adaptive in adult life. The first step of being good parents is to accurately understand children’s psychological development and provide safe and nurturing environment where teenagers can make trials and errors and form their own thought standards.

https://youtu.be/rcWveqTmYvg?si=v7Fjr6wlM6mbSmc3

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

[SATW] Marriage, a happy ending or the grave of love ?

Hello, everyone. We can see dramas and movies having a happy ending with marriage after a series of events such as the couple falling in love, going through conflicts, and solving problems. However, in reality, conflicts and problems seem to continue even after the couple get married and people say that marriage is the grave of love.

The couple start a new phase of life through marriage. However, as time passes after marriage and the couple get busy with parenting and working, they may get used to living together and take each other for granted. Then, they may even stop having sex or feel that their sex life or love life is boring, entering the state of ennui and losing vitality.

Sexuality plays an important part in marriage relationship. Activating sexuality in marriage relationship leads to generating the energy of passion, love, and vitality and keeping the husband and the wife feeling close to each other. When sexuality stops being activated in a married couple, they may end up living only with duty and responsibility rather than sharing happiness.

Both the husband and the wife must be held responsibility for not being able to continue vital and happy sex life in marriage. In most cases, neither the husband nor the wife has the ability to activate xes energy in a positive way to generate passion and love. When they don’t have the ability to activate xes energy in a positive way and they have sexual desire and the desire for attention, they will keep being unsatisfied in the relationship and end up living only with responsibility.

The true sex ability can make your marriage life a happy one for the whole life time. The couple who have true sex ability can not only enjoy utmost sexual pleasure but also amplify passion, love, vitality, and happiness. They can live like a newly married couple for the whole life time. They can form strong bond, overcome difficulties in life together, and keep consolidating marriage relationship.

Once you build true sex ability, you don’t have to envy the happy ending you see in dramas and movies since you can be the couple who live happily ever after. True sex ability has nothing to do with having sex for the purpose of pleasure. It is the ability to generate positive energy by properly activating xes energy. You can learn how to build true sex ability through Sex Ability Training for Women and Sex Therapy for Men.

https://youtu.be/HJ8LpME6UTI?si=Ck3vJmmVRWtR9cX_

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

1/03/2024

[SATW] Women who want to look sexually attractive

Many women consider looking attractive to be important. They try to raise their value of attractiveness through fashion, make-up, diet, plastic surgery and so on. This is caused by growing up with the distorted concept of sexuality in their culture and society.

Women are designed to generate feelings of wounds in mimind from birth to death, and they can also treat wounds and generate feelings of love and happiness when they get consolation and attention in the right way.

Women who have many wounds in mimind naturally want to get attention and consolation in proportion with the amount of wounds. The most intense attention and consolation women can get are through sexual actions. This mechanism leads women to try to raise their value of sexual attractiveness through fashion, make-up, diet, or surgery to get more and more attention and consolation.

As more and more women try to focus on their sex appeal, even normal women may develop distorted concepts and standards of sexuality. They may try to follow those who try to look sexually attractive, or they may develop the sense of deprivation. Women generate feelings of wounds in mimind in both cases.

When women get married and feel safe and convinced of the relationship with the husband, they do not care much about their value of sexual attractiveness any more. Marriage makes women’s wounds treated considerably. Then, after some time, women may feel lonely as children grow, or they may accumulate wounds during their marriage life, which makes them focus on their sexual attractiveness again. It means that attention and consolation that can treat women’s wounds and make them have feelings of love and happiness have stopped being provided for quite a long time. Then, women may try to prove their sexual attractiveness by enhancing their appearance or feel depressed and dispirited thinking that they don’t look attractive enough.

However, these are all wrong ideas caused by the distorted concept of sexuality. All women are born with the utmost value of sexuality without having to look attractive sexually in appearance. Women can activate their own xes energy in a positive way on their own regardless of their appearance. Women who can activate xes energy in a positive way are perceived as the most charming women through their facial expressions, speech, and gestures without fancy clothes and make-up. They will look attractive to everyone regardless of their size or shape.

Women who try to look sexually attractive become the sexual objects of men who pursue sexual pleasure. On the other hand, women who activate xes energy in a positive way become the objects of love and happiness men want to protect and share happiness with. The true value of women comes from true sex ability instead of appearance. Women can build true sex ability and their own unique charm regardless of their age. Any woman who wants to raise their value in a true sense can take Sex Ability Training for Women.

https://youtu.be/t5qNkdhV8iE?si=lApfkxezvegNevIi

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Sex & Xes] Pedophilia : a severe psychological disorder

Feeling sexually attracted presupposes human relationships where the mind connected with sexuality is in operation. When a person activates sexuality toward an object or an animal, which can't have the mind connected with sexuality, it is considered as a psychological disorder.

Children do not activate the mind in the way it is connected with sexuality yet, so they cannot be the objects for being sexually attracted to. Being sexually attracted to children, or the condition of pedophilia, is just a severe psychololgical disorder that leads to crimes against children. It should never be considered as a type of sexual orientation or preference as some ignorant people get confused.

Some people even categorize pedophilia, a severe psychological disorder, as a type of sexual preferences or orientations at the same level with sexual preference for older people or

SM play, or sexual orientation for homosexuality. It must be clearly understood that children do not have the mind connected with sexuality yet, so they can never be objects of being sexually attracted to.

Being sexually attracted to children because they look like adult women is not pedophilia. In this case, the fact that the object is a child is not connected to being sexually attracted to. In this sense, it is also dangerous for parents to have their children look like adults through clothes, hair style, and make-up. Such parents already have distorted concepts of human sexuality and generate negative energy by activating sexuality.

People who have the condition of pedophilia usually look serious and solemn and make other people have respect for them. However, they view other people only as objects for their own pleasure and satisfaction. It is important to accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and sexuality to build the right concepts of human relationships and live a healthy and happy life.

https://youtu.be/aPL5R3O4eGg?si=Iuh4xGAiCa55rZ2p

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Mother Therapy] Preventing depression in children and teenagers

Hello, everyone. Depression occurs in women and girls more often than in men and boys since the mechanisms of depression are different in males and females. The following discussion applies to girls more than to boys. We all experience some degree of depressive feelings or lethargy during our life, but the symptoms usually don’t last long and we recover relatively easily, and we may repeat the process. However, when you cannot get out of depressive feelings for a long enough time, you may have developed the condition of depression.

We perceive external information through sensory organs such as vision, hearing, smell, touch, and taste. We store the information in our memory and we express our thoughts and emotions through speech, actions, and facial expressions based on information stored in memory and information perceived from outside.

We may feel good looking at a beautiful scenery and feel bad being criticized by someone. Perception of external information contributes to generating our moods at the moment. Feelings, which females carry and males mostly don’t, are generated based on memory rather than perception. Once you have accumulated excess negative feelings in memory, you may perceive every piece of information as being negative and develop depression.

Females accommodate stress and store it in memory in the form of wounds to be able to treat them later and generate feelings of happiness when wounds are treated. When they accumulate wounds in memory and cannot treat them properly, their unconscious decides to block perception and expression to protect them from further damage.

Children in the phase of adaptation to relationships experience difficulties when they cannot form or maintain good relationships with people well. When problems occur in relationships with parents, siblings, friends, and teachers, they may try to restore the relationship, but when they keep having difficulties, they may give up and choose to stay alone most of the time. They may become unresponsive and avoid interactions.

Parents and teachers should keep paying attention to these children and try to have a good relationship with them. Then, they will open up and begin to treat their wounds. What adults consider trivial may cause great stress and wounds in children, so adults should be sensitive and considerate in relationships with children in the phase of adaptation to relationships.

Differently from younger children, teenagers develop depression based on stress and wounds related with the mismatch of their own thought standards and other people’s thought standards. Teenagers are in the phase of formation of self-identity. They are in the process of developing diverse thought standards to be used in their adult life. They may develop depression when they continue to have conflicts with parents and other people due to different thought standards and when they cannot understand the situation rationally.

Teenagers have a limited number of thought standards since they have less life experiences than adults. They easily feel disappointed when the situation doesn’t accord with their limited thought standards. They may also develop depression when they don’t make enough expressions outwardly compared with the amount of perception, losing balance between perception and expression. They may express only inwardly and suppress outward expressions, and end up developing depression.

Children and teenagers are in the process of learning how to adapt themselves to relationships and forming self-identity through forming their own thought standards. They are affected by moods and feelings more easily than adults. Parents and teachers should carefully watch how children are doing and they should take measures to prevent or address the condition of depression before it progresses further. Especially, the primary caregiver can play an important role in preventing and reversing children’s depression by providing them with healthy attention. Also, teenagers themselves can learn about the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology for accurate understanding to protect themselves.

https://youtu.be/9ipe3EZE0rA?si=bShkAtglXFD4IMKM

https://youtu.be/KD3VtU_uU48?si=j6W-yNvaJF9s3BvJ

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

[Mother Therapy] Making trials and errors is not failure

We all make many trials and errors during our life, but many people think that they have failed rather than they have made trials and errors, and give up. Making trials and errors is not failure. It is difficult and rare to set the goal and just reach the goal at one trial.

For example, when you go on a diet, it cannot be said that you have succeeded in the diet just because you have reached the goal of losing a certain weight. You may have eaten less, taken supplements, and worked out for many hours a day for a few months. However, you will gain weight again as you eat more and stop working out. You may even gain more weight than when you first started the diet under the influence of the psychology of compensation.

Reaching the goal of losing weight in a few months cannot be considered as a successful diet. You must be able to continue the lifestyle with healthy habits of eating and exercising. Then, all the previous experiences become the process of trials and errors. You may have experienced a few times of unsuccessful diet but eventually you have built healthy habits that fit your lifestyle. Despair and frustration that you go through in the whole process are necessary parts you cannot but deal with.

The same process of trials and errors is necessary in parenting. You may have difficulties in the way but you will eventually succeed in raising your children in a healthy way as you keep making efforts. You should never give up on looking for the right parenting methods that suit your own situation. You must keep looking for your own parenting strategies based on accurate understanding of the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and children's psychological development.

Parents make trials and errors since they are new in parenting. You will be able to apply your own parenting methods when you accurately understand what true happiness is for mothers and children.