Korea Institute of Psycho-education

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

2/19/2024

[Mother Therapy] Healthy standards of parenting

Are you swayed in parenting by paying attention to other people’s opinions and advice or blaming some external situations or other people for difficulties in parenting? It is easy to be swayed by other people’s words or advice even when you are doing so well in parenting when you don’t accurately understand what is important in parenting. You may also keep changing parenting strategies losing consistency and causing problems in children.
      Other people’s words or advice come from their own life experiences, which are all different and unique for everyone. They may apply their own thought standards instead of the fundamental operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and of children’s psychological development.
Of course, you can ask others for advice during parenting but you should be able to make your own judgment based on your own thought standards and take full responsibility for your decision. You should never be swayed by other people’s opinions or advice.
Many parents refer to information they learn through other parents’ examples or social or mass media for parenting strategies. When they have healthy standards on parenting, they will base their own standards for adopting and applying whatever they and their children need. However, when you don’t have your own standards for parenting, you will keep following others’ examples disregarding your and your children’s circumstance and keep being swayed by every external information you encounter on the way. You may end up blaming other people or some external sources when problems occur.
  Every parent and every child are different and unique. Their circumstances and environments are all different. It is only natural that you will end up experiencing difficulties in parenting when you adopt this and that famous or fancy looking strategies without your own standards. It is crucial for parents to accurately understand how children develop psychologically until they become adults and adopt the right parenting strategies that suit their situation. When you have healthy standards of parenting, you will be able to discern specific parenting strategies that you can successfully adopt and help your children flourish.

https://youtu.be/YM7EStBD4D8?si=GPvRyoqxlh_whnck

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2/14/2024

[Mother Therapy] Choosing their own path and finding their own way

When do you get yourself immersed into tasks and do your best? Is it when you are told to do so or when you are expected to do so by other people? Probably not. We usually get ourselves readily immersed into the tasks when we do something because we really like it. Then, we can naturally develop abilities and become good at it.

Most parents want their teenage children to build skills and abilities they can use in their career when they become adults. Some parents may want their children to study hard for academic achievement for better future. Parents usually understand that skills and abilities they build in the teenage years may not lead them to succeed in the adulthood, but they still want their children to be good at what they do. Parents want children to build basic abilities at least, out of their own fear and the sense of uncertainty.

When children feel that they are forced or pressured to do something against their own will, they are naturally stressed and their performance level only goes down. They also become to relate the specific activity with stress as such incidents are repeated. On the other hand, when they get immersed into something because they like it, they may spend hours without realizing the pass of time and reinforce passion and happiness. They will relate the specific activity with happy feelings and achieve good results.

You may think that such positive cases are rare and we just have to do what we have to do to achieve things in reality. However, the fact is that children will naturally look for what they want and what they are good at when they have healthy and stable psychology under the protection and support of parents who also have healthy and stable psychology. They will make efforts to achieve their own goals without having to be forced or pressured. Of course, they will be active and do their best in whatever they choose to do and they can build good habits that can last for their whole life time by repeating this process throughout the teenage years. They will not be disappointed that much even when the result is not good enough since they did it because they liked it. Please, remember that parents’ role is to provide a safe and healthy environment where children can choose their own path and find their own way making trials and errors.

https://youtu.be/vdvul0DuYMY?si=LvOV_1DMaySqv9X2

https://youtu.be/W5lRvOg-biA?si=ZB2IpzUS93mrfEOd

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Mother Therapy] When your child has conflicts with the teacher

Hello, everyone. Children in the phase of adaptation to relationships and the phase of formation of self-identity are supposed to be under the protection of family and build basic abilities and healthy psychology going through the teenage years. They also acquire knowledge and skills, learn right characters, and learn how to manage human relationships at school. Parents are in charge of taking care of children at home and teachers are in charge at home. Sometimes, children develop conflicts in the relationship with teachers at school.

When children are in the phase of adaptation to relationships, which generally covers from the age 5 to 13, their psychological development is centered around human relationships. They may dislike school and refuse to go to school just because they don’t like their teachers. On the other hand, children in the phase of formation of self, which covers from the age 13 to 19, they are building their own thought standards, so they try to figure out what is right and wrong and specifically and logically express their ideas about conflicts with their teachers. They may become rebellious when they are asked to do what seems irrational or absurd from their point of view even though teachers have authority at school. Understanding why things are the way they are based on their own thought standards is important for children in this phase.

For example, a teacher who is 30 years old thinks and acts based on the unique experience and knowledge of 30 years. A teenager who is 15 years old thinks and acts based on the unique experience and knowledge of 15 years. It is unlikely that adult teachers and teenagers have similar thought standards. It would be ideal if teachers are understanding and considerate enough to manage the relationship with teenagers well, but what can parents do when children already have developed conflicts with their teachers?

When your teenage daughter says, “I can’t understand my teacher, and you say,” You just have to listen to your teacher. She should know better than you do,” your daughter may think that she cannot understand both you and her teacher and decides to stop talking to you about the matter. On the other hand, if you listen to your daughter’s thought in detail first and say, ”Your idea is right from your point of view,” and discuss further in a rational way why the teacher would have talked and acted that way from the teacher’s point of view, your daughter understand the matter better and will not be stressed any more when she meets her teacher the next day.

Parents can guide children to understand that teachers can have different view points and opinions based on their unique life experiences and knowledge. Many children will feel better and deal with conflictual situations better when they understand what is going on from their own perspective. Mother’s role is especially important for healthy growth of children. Mothers should accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology including developmental phases of child psychology and adopt right parenting strategies for their children to help them build healthy habits of psychology.

https://youtu.be/ITqFj2pRJO0?si=vIk2nb38s2SNCt4K

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Sex & Xes] Why men cannot resist being taken advantage of by gold diggers

Hello, everyone. I am Kyungmi Kim at Korea Institute of Psycho-education. Today, I will talk about why men cannot but be damaged by a woman gold digger even if they know that she is a gold digger. Most people think that men are deceived by a woman gold digger because they have innocent mind. It is possible that men do not know what specific purposes the gold digger has in the relationship with them, but many men give the gold digger what she wants knowing that she has selfish purposes. These men repeat being taken advantage of by gold diggers and they cannot stop themselves even when they are aware that they may end up losing everything they have.

As mentioned repeatedly in the previous videos, human beings have xes energy being operated from birth to death. Xes energy is manifested in a negative way and destroys human body and mind when we connect sexuality with the desire in mimind such as selfish purposes, emotional desire, or sexual desire. When xes energy is not connected with any desire in mimind, it is manifested in a positive way and restores the body and the mind generating happiness.

Both negative and positive xes energy spread to other people through expressions. When you activate xes energy in a negative way, it destroys not only your body and mind but also the body and the mind of people you interact psychologically. When both parties are activating xes energy in a negative way in connection with the desire in mimind, both of them recognize pleasure in their conscious even when they are being damaged.

Women usually make expressions of wounds to compensate for their negative emotions and xes energy is manifested in a negative way in this process, and negative xes energy is delivered to the counterparty. Normal women try to restore positive xes energy by getting consolation regarding their specific wounds. When expressions of wounds are made accompanied by selfish purposes, the negative xes energy can work as more powerful destructive energy. If the man partner also activates xes energy connected with selfish purposes, emotional desire, and sexual desire, this man feels strongly captivated by the woman’s activation of negative xes energy, amplifying his sexual desire. Xes energy is not recognized in the conscious, so the man cannot even fathom why he is attracted to the woman and cannot fight against the captivation.

Interestingly, the level or the size of women’s xes energy can be expanded limitlessly depending on situations, but men’s xes energy is small and limited compared with women’s xes energy. Men must be provided with xes energy from women to amplify their passion. Men are attracted to xes energy provided by women whether it is negative or positive. Men who activate xes energy in a negative way are attracted to women who activate xes energy in a negative way much more than normal men. As a result, they cannot get themselves out of the trap set by women who activate xes energy in a negative way at the full scale once they are captivated, even when their body and mind are destroyed and their values of life are lost. This mechanism explains how men are damaged by gold diggers, feeling intense pleasure from the woman’s expressions and responses.

The man feels that he wants to give the gold digger whatever she wants even if he doesn’t have sex with her. It is because the gold digger activates xes energy in a negative way at a much higher level than normal women, and she spreads it to the man through expressions and responses. Men’s body and mind are destroyed by being infused with negative xes energy, but they feel intense pleasure in the conscious. Men who are in this condition may be able to distinguish right from wrong in the conscious, but they have lost the ability to make right decisions and take right actions. This can be considered as Stockholm syndrome that can occur in men.

Men who are captivated by a gold digger may even give up their life as well as their wealth and career. They may justify their thoughts and actions and even think that they are in love with the gold digger. This phenomenon is not uncommon to see around us. A typical example is infidelity. Many men are abandoning their wife and children, and are being exploited by their adulteresses even at this very moment.

Men who are under great stress or on the verge of suffering from burnout syndrome must be extremely careful not to get involved with women who approach them with selfish purposes, emotional desire, or sexual desire. Men who have great passion and the ability for immersion usually develop burnout syndrome when they suddenly lose passion for some reason. They can recover easily when they are provided with women’s positive xes energy. However, these men also become targets of gold diggers since they become sensitive and responsive to women’s negative and strong xes energy.

When men are infused with positively manifested xes energy, which doesn’t involve any desire such as selfish purposes, emotional desire, or sexual desire, men can restore pure passion and pursue self-actualization in a healthy way. When men are infused with negatively manifested xes energy, they develop distorted passion and pursue only sexual pleasure. The operation of human sexuality and that of xesmind cannot be controlled only by the operation of the human conscious. What we can do to protect us is to accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and sexuality, that is, the operational mechanism of mimind and xesmind, and build the ability to activate xes energy in a positive way. We should also make the environment safe and healthy so that we are not exposed to dangerous situations. This way, men can build true sex ability, and this is the only way for men who are taken advantage of by gold diggers to restore healthy psychology and healthy life.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Sex & Xes] A male friend, a female friend, & a friend with benefit

Hello, everyone. Today, we will talk about the concept of a male friend, a female friend, and a friend with benefits. Many people have friends who are opposite gender. It is argued that they are opposite gender, but they don’t feel any emotion or feeling that occurs in a prospective romantic or dating relationship at all.

Human beings cannot but involve emotions and feelings in all relationships with people whether they are the same gender or opposite gender as we make psychological interaction. Humans are designed to perceive sexual information the moment they perceive the counterparty is the opposite gender. Any interaction or relationship with people who are opposite gender leads to the activation of xesmind. You may not recognize this activation of xesmind in the conscious, so you may think that your relationship with a person of opposite gender can be without any activation of sexuality.

Generally, people who have healthy and normal psychology try to keep a certain distance from people of opposite gender even when they feel that their relationship is only that of pure friendship. It is to acknowledge that they are opposite gender. The woman will try to protect her sexuality by keeping distance and the man will also respect the woman’s intention. Then, harmony and order is achieved in the relationship and their psychology keeps working in a healthy way even when they don’t know about the operational mechanism of human mind and sexuality.

When they overtly claim that sexuality or xesmind is never activated in the relationship with a person of opposite gender, it indicates that they are trying to hide the fact that they perceive the counterparty as an opposite gender and are activating the psychology of sexuality even more than other people.

Sexual actions are only a small part of the result of the operation of mimind and xesmind. A complex process takes place in mimind and xesmind before sexual actions are taken as a result. You and your friend of opposite gender cannot but be involved in the psychological interaction accompanied by the activation of xesmind whatever you do together. Your activation of xesmind is expressed in your speech and actions even without any sexual expressions.

In this process, the man can have fun and pleasure from the woman’s responses, and the woman feels good by getting the man’s attention. They may not take sexual actions, but they are in the process of reaching sexual actions. They can be considered to be flirting with each other denying the fact in the conscious.

When friends of opposite gender make sexual expressions toward each other, but when they don’t want to take responsibility for each other as in normal romantic and dating relationships, they are considered to have the relationship for selfish purposes. Many problems occur since they deny that the relationship is based on selfish purposes. They are pursuing sexual satisfaction without making sexual actions on the surface whether they have the spouse, a girlfriend, or a boyfriend.

https://youtu.be/pfK4VXkzc5c?si=qhrFg1xPSmdvYpqC

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

2/07/2024

[Sex & Xes] How to deal with post-coital tristesse

Hello, everyone. Post-coital tristesse is a depressive feeling that anyone can experience after having sex. Some people say that it includes men’s feeling of loss that lasts only for a short time right after ejaculation, and others argue that the feeling should be overwhelming and strong enough to make one cry or develop hatred against the sex partner and oneself to meet the criteria for post coital tristesse. Both cases can be included in post-coital tristesse but its operation is different for men and women.

Let’s first look at men’s post-coital tristesse. As men develop sexual desire, xes wounds are generated based on xes information that is perceived in xesmind and negative xes energy is generated. Negative xes energy is delivered to men’s body and mind and the pleasure of the same level of negative xes energy is sensed in men’s conscious. Men may maintain a certain level of pleasurable sensation in the process of masturbation and having sex with a partner and feel a strong pleasurable sensation at eh moment of ejaculation.

Men who cannot generate positive xes energy always activate negative xes energy so they activate negative xes energy even at the moment of ejaculation. They just cannot recognize it since it is covered with the pleasurable sensation recognized in the conscious. Then, the pleasurable sensation ends right after ejaculation and negative xes energy is recognized as stress with the same value of pleasurable sensation.

Then, how is post-coital tristesse different for women? Women’s post-coital tristesse is not a temporary sensation that men feel after ejaculation but a continuous feeling of depression. Women feel deeper and stronger negative feelings. Wounds of mimind is at work instead of xes wounds in xesmind in women. Women do not activate negative xes energy based on xes wounds as men do. Women’s wounds in mimind is activated to generate negative xes energy.

Women who have many wounds in memory feel more depressive feelings after having sex. They may feel like crying or actually cry and retrieve feelings of hating self and others. Women’s wounds activate the operation of xes energy to restore happiness, which is manifested as women’s sexual desire. Women’s sexual desire is not the desire for pleasure but the desire for wound treatment.

Not many women understand that they can treat wounds in mimind through activating xesmind. They rather try to depend on other people who can make them feel happy, which only aggravate their condition and raise the level of dependency. Then, they seek having sex as a means to satisfy the desire for love and happiness and keep losing their energy in mimind and generating negative xes energy in xesmind

Ironically, these women feel greater level of sexual pleasure based on the greater level of wounds in mimind, but they recognize the deep depressive feelings after having sex without knowing the reason. They may enter the vicious cycle of seeking sexual pleasure, feeling more and more depressed after having sex, and developing greater level of sexual desire and dependency for love and happiness.

There can be two ways to solve the problem of post-coital tristesse. One is to completely destroy one’s mind and live only for sexual pleasure, which makes both men and women unable to recognize pain in mind. People with serious psychological disorders may not feel depressed after having sex since their mind has stopped functioning in a normal way.

Another way is to learn how to generate positive xes energy. Men can enjoy the highest level of sexual pleasure without sexual desire and use xes energy for generating passion for pursuing values of life. They have most powerful sex ability and don’t have to experience post-coital tristesse at all. Women can activate sexuality in the way they can generate love and happiness. They should learn about the concepts accurately and internalize them to practice in daily life.

https://youtu.be/hq9rXY_zDA8?si=P6rJlCeISNc__HFs

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

1/31/2024

[Mother Therapy] A very important ability: Finding an easy way

Are you worried that your child is always looking for an easy way to solve problems and tries to stay in a comfort zone? Actually, the ability to find an easy way is an important ability. Children who seek easy ways tend to look for fun and pleasurable ways to do things and try new things in every situation.

To find an easy way to solve diverse problems, you need to be able to analyze the situation correctly and keep thinking on their own to find a new way. You must be creative and adventurous. Children can actually develop problem solving abilities in the process.

Children may be caught finding an easy way to deal with the situation by their parents and teachers. Then, they have to find another new way to do things in their own way from a different perspective not to get caught again. They may keep making trials and errors and develop thinking ability and problem-solving ability.

The ability to find an easy way and to stay in a comfort zone may be important in their social life when they become adults. They can be adaptable and flexible in their work and make good results in what they do since they keep being innovative and keep trying new things. They are more likely to make a greater achievement than people who just follow the instructions.

It is natural for parents to get worried about children who seem out of control and stick out because they hardly follow the rules. It is necessary to stop children from doing dangerous things or things that may harm other people or themselves. However, trying to find an easy way itself is not something that should be stopped completely since it has a lot of positive effects in children’s psychological development. If your children seem to fit this type, you can think that they are creative and imaginative and always try to find their own way to deal with the situations. Please, keep in mind that parents’ healthy perspective can promote children’s healthy growth.

https://youtu.be/hJAZt-cQrPU?si=AZipT4lEBWZYGnzo

https://youtu.be/zIdGQw-ypy4?si=duj2hzYJV7VHetMy

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

[Mother Therapy] Keeping balance between facts and emotions in parenting

How much of your emotions do you believe to be true? Emotions you feel are definitely reflected in your decisions and actions, but making expressions or taking actions only based on your emotions may result in diverse problems. Either positive emotions or negative emotions can be obstacles against your judgments and actions.

Correct thinking is crucial in making decisions and solving problems we face every day, so it is important not to be skewed emotionally in daily interactions with children. What would happen if you become overly emotional when you deal with problems in parenting? It is highly likely that you will end up having even more problems. It is not to say that being emotional is wrong in any sense. It is that depending on your emotions for parenting can create or aggravate problems.

It is essential for parents to maintain balance between facts and emotions to be able to solve problems in parenting or any other problem. First, you should be able to distinguish facts that occur and emotions that are created inside you. Then, you must do your best to exclude your emotions in making judgments and taking actions.

To be able to do that, you must accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology as well as psychological development of children and the right parenting strategies. Then, you can address the countless problems of parenting that occur day in and day out without difficulty or adverse effects. You can enjoy the happiness of being a mother and raising children. You can encourage children to make trials and errors and form healthy habits of psychology. When you feel happy as a mother, your children will absorb your happiness and feel happy themselves.

https://youtu.be/MRUHQaD-wTY?si=mYIIhjRUiS5aAfp

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

[Sex & Xes] The criteria of sex crimes

Men and women have different operations of mimind and xesmind, and mimind and xesmind are operated in the opposite ways. What we recognize in the conscious about the operation of sexuality necessarily leads to serious errors and distorted judgment and decision. Men cannot know how and to what extent women’s feelings are activated in sexuality even if they conceptually understand women’s sexuality and women cannot know about men’s sexuality, either.

Xes wounds in xesmind are activated in men’s sexuality instead of wounds in mimind, as they are in case of women. Men’s xes wounds in xesmind damage men’s body and mind, but they are recognized as positive sensations in the conscious in mimind. Men can experience stress in mimind due to sexual dysfunctions based on negative xes energy accompanied by conceptual problems, but men do not develop wounds in mimind related with sexuality as women do.

Men and women perceive differently about cases of sex crimes. The victim’s viewpoint must be considered most importantly in dealing with sex crimes. Sexuality can function as a destructive energy in men’s and women’s mimind and xesmind. It is important to judge on sex crimes considering not only visible and physical damage but also psychological damage that may last for a long time. It is absolutely absurd to accept the perpetrator’s claim that the victim also enjoyed the sexual actions.

The damage the victim experience goes beyond the level of conscious recognition. The damage may be more fundamental and much more far reaching in the victim’s life. The victims may develop their own psychological problems based on the damage of sex crimes such as Stockholm syndrome.

When the victims’ xesmind is overly activated in an attempt to treat wounds in mimind, they may become dependent on the perpetrator regarding everything including the body, mind, and sexuality. The victims may feel that they are in love with the perpetrator to justify their abnormal sexual desire and keep reproducing wounds in mimind in the vicious cycle.

The victims cannot live on their own even after they are separated from the perpetrator if they have developed dependency. They usually end up getting involved with another perpetrator who induces wounds in their mimind. They also keep involving sexual actions in the process and they may become perpetrators themselves eventually. They may feel excruciating pain when they do not have the object of dependency or literally lose their mind.

On the other hand, men feel pleasure even when they are sexually violated as a victim of sex crimes since their wounds are created in xesmind and men’s wounds are not recognized in their conscious in mimind. Negative xes energy damages their body and mind, and they may develop somatization, sexual dysfunctions, and psychological disorders. They have more and more sexual desire and pursue more intense sexual pleasure, which in turn generates more xes wounds in a vicious cycle eventually destroying their body and mind completely.

In this sense, both perpetrators and victims are damaged greatly in their body, mind, and sexuality when sex crimes occur. The perpetrator destroys the victim’s whole life to achieve momentary sexual pleasure.

Activating sexuality can lead human beings to generate great happiness, but can also destroy human body and mind in a great deal. Sex crimes must not be taken as a single incident but as an action that destroys the victim’s whole life as well as the perpetrator’s life. Both the victim and the perpetrator cannot live with healthy and normal psychology.

Many crimes seemingly unrelated with sexuality are actually based on the operation of sexuality. Sexuality provides strong energy that activates human mind. It can be used to reinforce love and happiness but it can also be used to reinforce stress and wounds. It you feel that you cannot control your mind to the extent that you are driven to commit a crime, it indicates that your xesmind is at work at its full scale.

It is crucial to understand the operational mechanism of human mind and sexuality to be able to deal with cases of sex crimes properly. This may be the key to preventing sex crimes and lowering the second offense rate.