There are many people who are thinking about getting a divorce, are in the process of getting a divorce, have already divorced, are thinking about remarriage after divorce, and have remarried. Many of them are experiencing psychological pain and practical problems, and there are many experts and institutions that provide help for them. There are also much information on divorce and remarriage easily available through media.
Unfortunately, much of the information available is considered as being dangerous since following their guidance will lead people to live in unhappiness after divorce and remarriage rather than in happiness. Much of the information looks and sounds right and helpful for people who are going through major changes in their life accompanied by pain and difficulties in many cases. However, not many people seem to understand that such guidelines will actually lead them to suffer from even more pain and difficulties in the future.
It must be clearly kept in mind that only accurate understanding of the psychology of divorce and remarriage will lead to happiness after divorce and remarriage. Once you understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology, restoration of balanced psychology and happiness in life becomes highly attainable. Understanding your situation accurately is especially important since it affects your children's present and future life in a great deal as well as yours.
When you develop psychological problems in the process of divorce and remarriage, you are considered to be standing at the tip of a cliff and many others are in the same situation as you, and still many others are encouraging you and many other innocent people to jump off the cliff suggesting all kinds of good-looking information and solutions. It is essential and imperative that you treat your psychological wounds and build happiness ability to protect you and your loved ones whether you are in the process of or have already completed divorce or remarriage.
Free Consultation on Divorce and Remarriage at Korea Institute of Psycho-education provides you with accurate information on how to resolve issues related with divorce and remarriage and achieve happiness in life in a true sense.
Korea Institute of Psycho-education provides the following contents for free consultation on divorce and remarriage.
1. Accurate understanding of concepts of divorce and remarriage
Many people do not have accurate understanding of divorce and remarriage. From the psychological perspective, separating and severing the relationship after just living together or common-law marriage as well as legal marriage is considered to be a case of divorce. Then, you may develop the psychology of divorce and remarriage.
2. Change of human relationships and change of psychology after divorce and remarriage
Among many other changes in life after divorce and remarriage, one of the most important changes is the change in human relationships. As your relationships change after divorce and remarriage, your psychology must be changed to suit the situation. When the change of psychology is not processed adequately, you may develop psychological problems leading to unhappy life. Free consultation on divorce and remarriage informs you of how to proceed to change human relationships and psychology after divorce and remarriage. Especially, topics ranging from the dynamics of relationships with children and other family members to a sexual relationship are covered to guide you in the right direction for happiness in a true sense.
3. Precautions and preparations for divorce and remarriage
Free consultation of divorce and remarriage informs you of what you have to be careful about and what to prepare in the process of divorce and remarriage.
4. How to achieve happiness after divorce and remarriage
Living a happy life in a true sense is crucial for everyone. Just compromising in the given situation and living in mere comfort eventually leads to unhappiness leaving your life at the hands of other people. It becomes a serious problem since such a structure can be passed down to your children. It is imperative that you accurately understand how to achieve happiness in a true sense after divorce and remarriage.
5. Underlying causes of and solutions to problems that occur after divorce and remarriage
When problems occur after divorce and remarriage, it is important to analyze underlying causes and resolve the issues accordingly. Then, you can stabilize your psychology and prevent future problems. When you deal with only visible phenomena and do not address underlying causes, problems may keep returning and simply grow more and more. Free consultation on divorce and remarriage informs you of how to analyze fundamental causes of problems and pursue happiness in the right direction.
6. Resetting goals and directions of life after divorce and remarriage
Free consultation on divorce and remarriage will guide you to set new goals and directions of life after divorce and remarriage. Setting wrong goals and directions or living without any goal or direction may lead you to unhappiness after divorce and remarriage.
7. Psychological wounds that occur in the process of divorce and remarriage
Free consultation on divorce and remarriage informs you of possible psychological wounds that can occur in the process of divorce and remarriage. You will be provided with information on diverse types of psychological disorders and how to treat them.
As your situation changes, your psychology must change to suit the situation. Marriage life becomes unhappy when you stay in the psychology of dating even after marriage. Your life after divorce becomes unhappy when you stay in the psychology of marriage even after divorce. Also, the psychology of the first marriage and that of the second marriage are completely different.
Your psychology gets aggravated more and more unless you analyze and address the fundamental causes regardless of the types of present psychological conditions, leading to unhappiness in life. Free consultation on divorce and remarriage is intended to help you take the initiative in learning about the psychology of divorce and remarriage and maneuvering your life in the right direction.
Most people want to maintain a romantic relationship with their spouse. However, many married couples find it difficult to maintain a romantic relationship as time passes. This phenomenon is only natural and it happens since the psychology of marriage and that of dating are different. It is difficult to maintain a romantic relationship with your spouse unless you understand the change of psychology after marriage no matter how hard you try.
First, you must understand the difference between the psychology of marriage and the psychology of dating. The psychology of an individual operates when you are in a dating relationship. The man gets immersed into positive moods being with the woman and generates passion toward the woman. The woman perceives the man's passion as positive feelings and begin to feel love toward the man. The man's passion and the woman's love developed toward the partner are considered important in a dating relationship. As they continue to get immersed into passion and love, they develop the desire to live with the partner and they get married.
When a couple get married, the psychology of a person in relationships rather than that of an individual operates and they pursue being happy together. Then, happiness of family becomes more important than happiness of individuals both for the husband and the wife. The man who used to focus on getting immersed into his own positive moods and passion toward the woman transfers to focusing on his passion of pursuing values and future happiness together as a family. Also, the woman who used to focus on getting immersed into feelings of love toward the man transfers to focusing on her love of pursuing meanings and present happiness together as a family.
In some couples, the husband may pursue meanings and the wife may pursue values. In any case, the wife and the husband pursue meanings and values to achieve happiness as a couple and a family. An individual's happiness can be achieved when a man has passion and a woman has love. On the other hand, the happiness of a person in relationships can be achieved when they pursue self-actualization with meanings and values of life to be happy together.
As time passes after marriage, the husband feels less and less passion toward the wife and the wife less and less love toward the husband. This phenomenon is referred to as the state of ennui and considered as a negative phenomenon by many people. However, it actually results from the husband's and the wife's mind operating for being happy together rather than being happy as an individual. They may not recognize as much passion and love as before, but it actually indicates that they have formed love and happiness as a married couple in their unconsciousness.
As described above, the psychology of marriage and that of dating are completely different. Then, what can you do to live as a married couple but still maintain a romantic relationship? It is possible when you pursue self-actualization with meanings and values as a married couple and, at the same time, the husband generates passion toward the wife and the wife generates love toward the husband. To be able to do all of them, the husband and the wife must exist as a man and a woman respectively when they are only by themselves excluding all other relationships.
The husband, as a man rather than a husband and father, should be able to generate positive moods looking at the wife being happy as a woman. The wife should try to be happy and feel love as a woman rather than as a wife and mother. You can remind yourself of and bring back your speech, actions, and facial expressions of the days when you were dating, which may be difficult if you had been married for a long time and forgotten all about those days. You must try to spend some time only for yourselves without being disturbed by other people or daily matters. You must focus on each other and positive emotions you two can share, and must not think or talk about children, family matters, or economic problems.
When you are just by yourselves, conversation becomes very important. You may remember that you couldn't stop talking with each other all day when you were in a dating relationship. Then, you would still continue talking on the phone even after you went back home after a date. When you engage yourself in conversations in a romantic relationship, topics of conversations must be you and your partner instead of other life matters in marriage or family relationships. Topics don't have to be limited to only positive ones but should be limited to you and your partner as individuals. You may want to set a certain time of the week or the day to spend time only to yourselves or you may want to be spontaneous. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, but couples usually try hard to become individuals as they continue. Then, the husband begins to feel passion toward the wife and the wife begins to feel love toward the husband.
Next, the psychology of sex naturally begins to be activated between the husband and the wife. It is only natural that the psychology of sex fades away as men's passion and women's love transfer to the pursuit of values and meanings after marriage. When you deliberately try to restore the psychology of sex itself in a married couple by adopting direct and practical methods, you may experience temporary restoration of a sexual relationship, but you cannot restore passion and love. This is a distorted course of action to take and may cause all kinds of problems such as reinforcing sex only as obligation or meaningless routine or becoming overly conscious or compulsive about sex.
This concept is easy to understand when you compare the situation with a dating relationship. You didn't aim for having sex itself when you were dating, but you felt passion and love first and sex just naturally followed reinforcing passion and love. When you have lost passion and love in a marriage relationship, you must restore passion and love first before you restore the sexual relationship. When you restore passion and love as a man and a woman, a sexual relationship will naturally follow. It is a pity that many experts recommend married couples in the state of ennui or with sexual issues should restore sexual actions first. It is the same as encouraging people to have sex without passion and love and it may lead to the destruction instead of the restoration of couples and families.
You must understand the underlying mechanism of visible phenomena and address the fundamental cause of problems. It is natural and right that your psychology changes when you marry from the psychology of an individual to that of a person in relationships. Forgetting individual happiness means that you have focused on being happy together as a couple and a family. Now, you can restore individual happiness and still keep happiness as a couple and a family by understanding the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology. You can live a life you have dreamed of by existing both as an individual and as a person in relationships. You can live in both a marriage relationship and a romantic relationship simultaneously. You can not only generate passion and love but also pursue self-actualization with meanings and values of life to be happy together.
Pathological conditions related with psychology can be categorized into psychological problems and psychological disorders based on the Theory of Mimind. The Theory of Mimind attempts to explain the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and provide treatment methods based on the theoretical analysis. It postulates that different treatment methods must be adopted for different levels of pathological conditions of psychology and applying a unified method to treat different levels results in aggravation rather than cure.
One of the basic hypotheses of the Theory of Mimind is that human psychology consists of three components : the psychology of perception that takes in external information into mind through sensory organs, the psychology of memory of emotion that stores information that flows in and retrieves when necessary, and the psychology of expression that expresses the result of the operation of mind through thoughts, speech, actions, and facial expressions.
Firstly, psychological problems develop when problems occur in one or more of the three components of psychology. You are considered to have developed psychological problems when you feel a little too down or a little too up compared with the baseline. Yes, feeling good can be a psychological problem, too.
In phase 1 of psychological problems, you can easily come back to the baseline by simple diversions. In phase 2 of psychological problems, it takes more than simple diversions to restore stabilized psychology. You may have to make conscious efforts such as reading, listening to lectures, and finding relevant information to recover. In phase 3 of psychological problems, you may need professional guidance such as counseling or coaching to recover. This phase is considered to be one that can benefit the most through psychology counseling. You are considered to have the ability to self-recover when you have psychological problems, but when you do not recover from psychological problems, your condition may progress into psychological disorders.
Secondly, when psychological disorders develop, you cannot recover by your own conscious effort or by taking counseling or coaching. It is considered that your psychology has lost the ability of self-recovery. In phase 1 of psychological disorders, a psychological disorder has developed in one of the three psychological components. Perception disorder includes panic disorder and anxiety disorder, the disorder of memory of emotion includes depression, and expression disorder includes addiction and consciousness disorder. Addiction is referred to as outward expression disorder, where distorted expressions are manifested as speech, actions, and facial expressions. Consciousness disorder is referred to as inward expression disorder, where distorted expressions are manifested as thoughts.
In phase 1 of psychological disorders, two components of psychology are still considered to have the ability of self-recovery, but one is not. When you have psychological problems, activating psychological components other than the component that has developed problems can restore the balance of psychology as a whole. However, in case of psychological disorders, activating other psychological components to normalize the problematic component will lead to the development of a psychological disorder in components that didn’t have problems at first.
As you try to treat one component of psychology by activating another component of psychology in the condition of psychological disorder, the condition may progress to develop psychological disorders in two of the psychological components. This phenomenon occurs since you end up overly activating the component with normal operation to restore balance. Now, you have a combination of expression disorder and perception disorder or a combination of the disorder of memory of emotion and expression disorder. Two different types of psychological disorders may be manifested alternately. Examples are bipolar disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, and hysteria.
As you try to treat psychological disorders in two components of psychology by activating the rest one component, you may also develop a psychological disorder in the last component thereby resulting in psychological disorders in all three components of psychology. This phenomenon occurs since you end up overly activating the last one component to restore balance in the two problematic components. Now you have developed psychological disorders in perception, memory of emotion, and expression.
A fundamental difference between psychological problems and psychological disorders is that psychological problems in one component can be restored by activating another component, but such mechanism does not apply for psychological disorders. Thus, when psychological disorders have developed, you must not adopt diversion, counseling, coaching, and so on since they will only aggravate the condition.
You may experience incidents of an attack of explosion of negative emotions in phases 2 or 3 of psychological disorders accompanied by the temporary loss of consciousness. This phenomenon occurs when you transfer from one type of psychological disorders to another type, for example from manic or addictive phase to depressive or panic phase, or in the opposite direction. The period of temporary loss of consciousness with explosive or panic attack gets longer and longer from seconds at first to days in the end as the condition advances.
It must be clearly noted that psychological problems and psychological disorders must be differentiated for adequate treatment. Sometimes, it is difficult to distinguish psychological problems from psychological disorders since the pain sensed by individuals is subjective, so the diagnosis of psychological conditions must employ the criteria based on the operational mechanism of mind and psychology instead of visible phenomena.
Psychological problems can be solved by activating psychological operations at the surface level, but psychological disorders must be treated by adjusting the operation of mind at the underlying level. It is crucial to control and adjust the component of psychology with disorders without affecting components without disorders. Next, you need to build the ability to prevent developing psychological disorders in the future when you may be exposed to stress and psychological wounds. Then, you are considered to have achieved a complete cure of psychological disorders.
A 17-year-old boy who was suffering from incidents of rage explosion upon the slightest stress visited for consultation. Not only the boy but also all his family members were suffering due to the boy's condition. The boy had had the condition for almost 3 years. He was diagnosed as having adjustment disorder by psychiatrists and given the prescription for medication for remission of symptoms. His parents were against medication and they had him take many sessions of psychology counseling to no avail. His parents referred the boy to me as the last resort.
I talked with the boy and analyzed his unconscious. It turned out that he had a healthy mind and psychology. It was only that he was not able to control his expression of the unconscious and compulsion and obsession continued making his stress being expressed outwardly by the operation of the unconscious. I explained how human mind and psychology operate and how the unconscious and the conscious operates. He understood why he suffered from such symptoms and realized that he had normal psychological operation basically. He was able to accurately understand the cause of his problems and analyze the manifested symptoms based on the understanding. We didn't have to talk about his childhood experiences or family structure to address his problem since information on the past experiences or external factors is irrelevant to solving the present psychological problems.
It takes much shorter time to solve teenagers' psychological problems compared with adults' problems. Teenagers easily understand and instantly adopt the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology when they learn about it, which makes consultations for teenagers quite rewarding and worthwhile. It took less that 3 months for this boy remove the symptom of rage explosion. All he needed was to adjust his unconscious for stable operation. Also, he learned about how to heal stress as soon as they flow in and build his own healing system for stress by controlling his unconscious.
There exist many therapies and treatment methods that are adopted to treat psychological disorders including counseling, medication, and so on. When you compare psychological disorders to physical illnesses for analogy, different therapies must be adopted for different psychological disorders as it is the case for different physical diseases. For example, treatments of mild cold, influenza, pneumonia, and lung cancer must employ different treatment methods respectively.
Post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity and relationship addiction can be compared to serious diseases like lung cancer. It takes much more than counseling and medication to treat such psychological disorders. Medication may serve to alleviate the severe pain temporarily so that the patient can maintain daily life. Most conventional therapeutic methods that intervene in psychological operations are hardly likely to bring about proper and effective treatment results without adverse long-term side effects. Most of them are effective only for solving mild cases of psychological problems.
Post traumatic stress due to infidelity and relationship addiction are quite severe psychological disorders that require a properly designed treatment protocol along with the patient's time and effort. As your body can perish without proper treatment of serious diseases, your mind can perish without proper treatment of psychological disorders. When your mind perishes, your body may continue to function as a human being, but your mind cannot function properly destroying the life of yours and your loved ones. It is high time that psychological disorders were taken as seriously as physical diseases and adequate and effective treatment methods were adopted.
A husband who suffers from psychological pain due to spouse infidelity is considered to be experiencing intense stress caused by post traumatic stress. A husband who has the desire for infidelity is considered to have developed sexual dysfunction. When men's sexual dysfunction progresses, psychological disorders also develop, and the mind operates to direct them to want to change women for sex, which may result in developing relationship addiction. It is men's sexual dysfunction that makes them want to have an affair. However, relationship addiction has not developed yet until they actually put their ideas into practice. The desire for infidelity exists since it has not been satisfied yet. That is, men are considered to have only sexual dysfunction without relationship addiction until they actually have an affair.
On the other hand, a husband who suffers from psychological pain due to wife infidelity is considered to have developed post traumatic stress, and he may feel that his sexual dysfunction has suddenly disappeared at the same time. This phenomenon is usually accompanied by experiencing intense stress and compulsion. When psychological pain disappears without post traumatic stress being treated in men, sexual dysfunction as severe as the level of post traumatic stress develops. The husband may experience extreme rage upon the discovery of wife infidelity, and he may feel as if his sexual dysfunction were suddenly restored when he has sex with his wife or any other woman while he is experiencing rage due to spouse infidelity. He may develop severe psychological disorders as this process repeats, and most husbands in this situation choose to divorce their wife after experiencing the lowest and the highest conditions repeatedly.
The husband may be able to maintain sexual function if he treats post traumatic stress while he is experiencing temporarily restored sexual function, which is the mechanism adopted by Xes Therapy. When the husband has treated post traumatic stress and fully restored sexual function but the wife is still having an affair, he may have a completely different perception of hie wife. Now, he is not affected by his wife, can maintain his healthy psychology, and live happily with children. A husband who suffers from psychological pain due to wife infidelity actually has a good opportunity to treat post traumatic stress and sexual dysfunction and live even more happily than before. When a man treats post traumatic stress and sexual dysfunction, he naturally develops the composure of winners.
When a husband gets a divorce upon the discovery of wife infidelity without treating post traumatic stress, he may develop the worst type of psychological disorders as well as sexual dysfunction and end up living an unhappy life regardless of his worldly achievements.
Korea Institute of Psycho-education has been producing reference materials on the operational mechanism of mind and psychology and psychology treatment methods, and sharing them with as many people as possible. Its reference materials are made public to help anyone who is interested accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and find the right path for treating psychological disorders and pursue happiness in a true sense. We have been able to produce reference materials in English and Japanese as well as in Korean to help more people access the adequate analysis of human mind and psychology.
Korea Institute of Psycho-education has developed the Theory of Mimind and the Theory of Xesmind and was able to adequately explain the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology. It has discovered the fundamental mechanism of most psychological disorders including depression, panic disorder, addiction, hysteria, intermittent explosive disorder, relationship addiction, and post traumatic stress and adopted the theories to successfully treat psychological disorders. It has also completed the non-contact self-training psychology treatment program to obtain the best treatment result without face-to-face psychology counseling, which is considered to be ineffective and even detrimental.
You may find theories and treatment methods of KIP quite new and unfamiliar, but it has been developed to be applied to all human beings regardless of nationalities and cultures since all human beings share the identical operational mechanism of mind and psychology. It also provides free consultations by e-mails to help ease your approach to KIP and save your time and effort before starting adequate treatment. KIP is here to guide you to stop your pain and suffering and achieve happiness with your loved ones in a true sense.
It is hoped that you will be able to accurately understand the fundamental mechanism of human mind and psychology through reference materials provided by KIP and treat your psychological disorders without adverse effects through KIP psychology treatment programs.
Thank you very much.
Korea Institute of Psycho-education
Address : 3rd Floor, Posta Bldg, 14-13 78-gil, Teheran-ro, Kangnam-ku, Seoul, South Korea
