Showing posts with label 66. Healing Stress Generated from Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 66. Healing Stress Generated from Work. Show all posts

4/26/2021

Disorder of the Conscious of Work

 


           Among psychological disorders, let's look into the relationship between the disorder of the conscious and work. The disorder of the conscious means that problems have occurred in being confident of one's own thoughts in human relationships and social activities. It is not a matter of whether the person works well or not. A person with the disorder of the conscious tends to do his or her work as he or she wishes due to strong self-assertion. It occurs commonly in males. However, it does not mean that this person must be treated. If the person creates values of self-actualization for both the self and others and does not damage the self and others, this person doesn't need to be treated. However, if the self and others are damaged or become difficult due to the psychological disorder, the person needs to be treated. Therefore, you must not think that psychological disorders are always bad and wrong.

           The disorder of the conscious, which is a type of psychological disorders, is operated by strong mind energy. So, a person with the disorder of the conscious is certain about whether his or her values of life are right or wrong and is confident of what he or she thinks right when working. For representatives of the disorder or the conscious, which is value-centered, are addiction, personality disorder, delusional disorder, etc.

           As for delusional disorder especially, it is generated from anxieties; people with delusional disorders think things that do not exist in reality as if they exist. This disorder is useful for work when making plans, imagining, being creative, and suggesting ideas. However, megalomania is categorized as a mental illness since people with this illness believe things that do not exist really exist for sure. It appears with hallucinations. When working, people with megalomania believe what they have planned, imagined and ideas that have suggested are actualized. They are into narcissism and cannot come out of it. Delusional disorder and megalomania often appear in reality. Let's think about the lottery for example. a person imagines winning the lottery and what he or she would like to do with the money. From this, he or she feels fun, interesting, and active but comes back to reality after short disappointment if they don't win the lottery. When this is applied to work, this person is more likely to be in delusion. He or she thinks that himself or herself is doing well even though problems have occurred in human relationships. Even though he or she gets stress from not working well at the workplace, this person is confident that he or she can do well and better next time because of the thought that he or she is doing everything fine, rather than trying to improve problems. In the end, problems occur in your own thoughts. 

           People with addiction, personality disorder, delusional disorder are good with immersion, concentration, memory, creativeness, and making plans. However, if they get immersed in their work so much, themselves might be fine but could make others be in difficulties. Without understanding why others are suffering from difficulties, these people with psychological disorders think they are right, but others are wrong. Others know that these people have problems, but those with psychological disorders don't notice that they have problems. They are fine as long as they have fun and are confident; they do not mind about others. Moreover, if someone who always brings problems when working says that he or she can do whatever and is confident about it, it is not easy for you to assign him or her works to do. If someone does his or her best when working but always makes problems, that person probably has the disorder of the conscious.

           The disorder of the conscious can be treated without difficulties if the person with the disorder accurately recognizes him or her having problems in psychology and has will to treat. Thinking that they have problems is the most important and the biggest core of getting away from the disorder of the conscious because they usually do not know that they have the disorder of the conscious.


The Disorder of Emotions of Work

 


           The disorder of emotions means having problems in emotions; this usually happens to females. Whereas males have the disorder of the conscious usually as problems occur in thinking since they have standards of values in their minds, it is usual for females having the disorder of emotions since their minds have standards of emotions. Accordingly, the disorder of emotions is operated and weighted to only one side, which is either like or dislike; happiness or unhappiness. The disorder of emotions such as depression, insomnia, eating disorders, anxiety disorders, phobias, obsessive-compulsive neurosis, etc. happens commonly to females. If a male has a disorder of emotions, he must be treated since it makes him very painful and difficult. If not, he could face a very serious situation. Especially, as for depression, it occurs commonly to females, but it is very painful to males and it causes suicidal risks to them. Therefore, it is urgent for them to get treatment. Also, if females have the disorder of the conscious, they will only pursue fun in human relationships resulting in them into hedonism. Psychological disorders like these are phenomena generated due to the psychology of instinct wanting to pursue happiness.

           The disorders of emotions mean that problems have occurred in the emotions of oneself. It makes oneself difficult but does not damage others. This is the opposite of the disorders of the conscious. They don't like doing work and suffer from work, but anyhow, they keep working and become psychologically painful due to wounds and stress are continually accumulated. When a person is suffering from a disorder of emotions, others do not notice that this person has problems because they are not bothered or damaged by this person even though the person himself or herself is having a difficult time. When a person is suffering from a disorder of emotions, others around this person do not notice that this person has problems because they are not bothered or damaged by this person. Females can endure and be patient even when their emotions are difficult when doing house chores and work. However, due to the operations of emotions, their minds become difficult. So, for females, a few warm words are an important element to heal their minds. Just make sure to be clear that having interests more than giving a few words when working might cause another problem. If a female gives good or comforting words to a male, this male might misunderstand as if she is interested in him, causing him to have a delusional disorder. This could be the cause of sexual harassment that happens often in the workplace.

           It is good for females to use these warm words when working since these words can heal their psychological (emotional) difficulties. Those with disorders of emotions think romantic relationships or attachment relationships among human relationships are important and make efforts to satisfy these relationships. People with the disorder of the conscious need human relationships that pursue fun and interest, but people with the disorder of emotions think human relationships that give interest, comfort, and encouragement are important. Working females resolve and heal the disorder of emotions generated from working through attachment relationships related to human relationships.


The Healing of Work Addiction

 


           Causes of work addiction are different for males and females. Males have work addiction, the disorder, or the conscious, due to two reasons: the recognition of the conscious and the activities of thoughts. That is to say that problems have occurred in recognition and thoughts. Especially, the stress generated from work becomes the cause for this; the conscious like 'I am the only one who can do this work' or thoughts like 'this work is very necessary' operate. If they are bothered, if they notice others are doing better, or if problematic situations happen, strong stress and wounds are generated making them very difficult. The cause of the stress and wounds is work; if a person is not satisfied with his or her work, strong stress and wounds generate forming compulsion. This compulsion is relieved only when the work is satisfied. The circulation of having the compulsion and relieving the compulsion is formed this way. Thus, stress is generated due to work, but this work relieves the stress.

For males, stress plays an important role; the cause of work addiction is stress. If the stress from work is not healed, work addiction is more likely to happen. Since males relieve stress by getting immersed in fun and interesting things, they sometimes habitually get immersed in fun and interesting things. If this immersion in fun is done habitually too much, compulsion is created, forming an addiction. Treatment of this type of addiction is relatively easy. However, if it becomes an addiction, one cannot recognize that he is addicted to fun. Even if he knows that problems have occurred to him, his addiction is continued and gradually forgets problems. At this point, the addiction has become serious.

Unlike males, females have wounds of emotions as causes of stress. In general, an addiction that is related to human relationships occurs. If a female gets work addiction, she gets immersed in working; it is due to her wounds that are deep and many. To explain with an example, the sound of water flows and the sound of pebbles is heard together if the water is shallow, but the sound is not heard if the water is deep. It feels like the water flow is calm, but in fact, it is very powerful and fast. Wounds are the same thing. If wounds are small, they can be treated by having chit-chats or expressing feelings negatively. If wounds are big and deep, they become so powerful that one cannot heal them by oneself. Then, they get immersed in a certain thing such as work, exercise, hobby, study, man, sex, alcohol, drugs, games, etc. At this point, if they cannot do the thing they get immersed in, compulsion is formed, making the wounds appear very strongly. This makes females difficult; if they can control the difficult emotions of wounds only through doing the thing that they get immersed in, it is an addiction. Females' wounds are generated from human relationships. Addiction is not to treat it with the attachment of human relationships but to indulge in certain objects and become deluded that oneself is under treatment while forgetting one's wounds.

Because work addiction is strong and large, small stresses and wounds in human relationships can immediately form an obsessive-compulsive disorder. By making themselves immersed in work, they relieve the compulsion. Thus, they react to stress and wounds very sensitively and get immersed in work.

Comparing male's work addiction with female's work addiction, it is not difficult to treat male's work addiction. A male is treated by changing the way he relieves stress, but a female must treat deep and large wounds, along the way she relieves stress. However, because treating female's deep and large wounds makes her difficult, it is difficult for her to have the willingness to be treated by herself in many cases. Plus, it requires much time and effort to be treated.

In most cases, work addiction is perceived as a good since one can immerse in work and have fun from working, but males perceive themselves as the same as work, have a compulsive desire for work, and relieve this compulsion by working. This causes powerful stress repeatedly and continually. Moreover, as for females, their deep wounds are not yet treated but operated continually and repeatedly. The work addict himself or herself does not know that such intense stress and deep wounds are constantly operating. When people are addicted to work, males are associated with strong stress and females with deep wounds.

Work addiction is a psychological disorder, but it should be prevented from turning into another psychological disorder if it provides the value of self-actualization of oneself and others. If work addiction turns into another psychological disorder and causes damage or difficulty to oneself or others, it should be treated. It is necessary to focus on work and have fun, but also to prevent work addiction. For this, the methods to prevent and treat the work addiction are different for males and for females.

First, it is good for males to have various ways to relieve stress. by having various ways to relieve stress, they can prevent themselves from getting immersed in one specific thing. Thus, for males who are addicted to work, it is good for them to spend more time on hobby and exercise. For white-collar workers, blue-collar workers, or emotion laborers, they need to choose whether to have static activities or dynamic activities for hobby and exercise. It is also a good way for white-collar workers to choose to get immersed in the knowledge that is different from their work.

The best way for white-collar workers is to strengthen dynamic exercises and hobbies because they usually do static works, and the best way for blue-collar workers is to strengthen static exercises and hobbies since they usually do dynamic work. Of course, it could be difficult and not easy to get used to new things due to the feelings of resistance and pressure at first, but work addiction will be prevented and treated naturally if they continue trying to enjoy the new hobby and exercise. The reason for strengthening hobbies and exercises in various ways is that it can turn into another addiction if they immerse themselves in one specific thing. They can be addicted to another specific one while trying to prevent or treat work addiction. So, it is necessary to strengthen many things at the same time rather than one.

Another way is to get immersed in work that is different from current work; it must be nothing to do with either outcomes or accomplishment. That is to say, it is important to consider your work as a hobby and to do your work as if you are dreaming instead of attempting to accomplish your work in reality. It is better not trying to have achievement and goals.

The method is effective in treating and preventing addiction; the principle of the method can be described with a Korean proverb, ‘treating toxic with another toxic’. Thus, various hobbies, exercises, other works treat work addiction if they are done as a temporary delusion, but they are dangerous if they are done to make results and accomplishment. Hence, it is better to have the ability to control by diversifying and fortifying exercises and hobbies.

When people become workaholics, compulsions are formed by stress at work; these compulsions can be relieved by doing other hobbies, exercises, and work. Through this, workaholics can be free from having and relieving compulsions of the same thing. If doing other things become a habit, they can focus on their work by getting away from compulsions of work.

For female's treatment of work addiction, the method to heal stress and the method to treat and prevent wounds of the unconscious must be done together. Work, hobby, exercise, etc. must be done together, and wound treatment as well must be done to recover one's self-respect. In other words, wound treatment, varieties of hobbies and exercises, partially focusing on other works, etc. should be done together. At this time, having complementary relationships can help prevent or treat work addicts as their emotions begin to operate.

In particular, when receiving psychological treatment, it is the best for females to have treatment for relationship recovery with husband, parents, and children so that they can strengthen their maternal love. It is because most of the females' psychological wounds are wounds from human relationships. However, a female must be careful to not fall in a man-woman relationship or a romantic relationship. When she falls in love with a man, it would make her wounds deeper rather than treating them. It will result in a reverse effect. The love required for psychological treatment is the love of the unconscious that is unconditional, unlimited and does not have any purpose like maternal love. Therefore, the love of the unconscious that parents, admiring teachers, children, and husband holding unlimited responsibility have is necessary.

You might wonder how the mind and psychology of males and of females are distinguished when it comes to work addiction. The mind of males and of females cannot be clearly distinguished because there are some males having female's mind and some females having a male's mind. Thus, only males with the male's psychology and females with the female's mind have been explained so far. In the cases when males have the female's mind and when females have the male's mind, the methods to treat and prevent their work addiction are different. The causes must be sought in more detail so that the right way to treat for the person can be also found; however, in general, the treatment and preventative methods for male's work addiction and female's work addiction are used together in many cases.

Some of you also might wonder about the treatment period when taking counseling to treat work addiction. It varies depending on the depth of work addiction of males and of females. Some people need only few numbers of counseling while others need more than a year to be treated and prevented from being addicted to other things. What's more important than any other thing is that the work addict himself or herself must have the will to prevent or treat the addiction. With the will and effort, the addiction can be treated within a few months.

People tend to think that prevention and treatment will not be difficult because they can consciously try to do something to make things right if they know they are addicted to work. However, they think this way because they don't know what work addiction really is. Work addiction is very difficult to prevent and treat by their own will because of the intense stress and wounds.

Work addiction can be treated if one recognizes that something is wrong with himself or herself and consciously tries to make efforts, but the question is how to make this person recognize that he or she has some problems. Recognizing it consciously is useless. It must be done unknowingly; the best way is to let him or her know the principles of how the mind operates logically. As this person listens to the principle of how the mind and psychology operate, he or she starts thinking, 'why am I different?' and realizes that something's wrong with him or her by thinking, 'I have problems.' Telling him or her 'you need to get treatment because you have some problems' operates as stress, and that person won't accept that he or she has problems.

From the perspective of a company or organization, there are both advantages and disadvantages of work addiction. For some companies, most executives and staff are addicted to work. The performance and values are getting higher, but household and human relationships are collapsed. Rather than analyzing what the company is focusing on, it is better to analyze which psychological disorder, between the disorder of the conscious and the disorder of emotions, the working executives and staff have in order to know the company's management and the future visions. If none of the executives and staff are not addicted to work, the future of the company is not bright. In fact, work addiction is very good and useful to develop the performance and values for the company and organization. On the other hand, a work addict is negligent in his or her family resulting in problems in human relationships. Therefore, companies and organizations should have a healing system to treat and prevent work addiction, and it is important to provide an atmosphere and environment to let people get immersed in their work. By operating a psychological education program, it is wise to create a mind and psychology that can immerse executives and employees in the healing system and work.

Recently, companies and organizations are investing a lot in a healing system for executives and staff, but it won't be much effective. Many lectures and educations for healing are just for refreshing; they are knowledge education of delivering knowledge about the mind and psychology. It is not a healing education for treating and preventing psychological problems and disorders. The healing education is not for talking about wrongs or delivering knowledge but for teaching 'the principles of how the mind and psychology operate' accurately. By doing so, people can recognize their psychological problems and disorders on their own and become able to control and heal themselves. KIP (Korea Institute of Psycho-education) developed 'the unconscious psychological treatment training' and it has verified it for 3 years. It is possible because of the goal of making 'psychological treatment only by psychological training'. 


4/25/2021

The happiness of PIR (Person in Relationships)

 


           Psychology of a person and that of a person in relationships (PIR) are different. A person lives only as oneself; since the person's perceptions, memories, thoughts, and expressions are not related to others at all, his or her psychology that pursues only his or her happiness and the free life operates. However, a PIR lives in relationships with others; the PIR's perceptions, memories, thoughts, and expressions are related to others. This PIR's psychology pursues the happiness of self-actualization and harmony with others. PIRs are separated into males and females; thus, the happiness of PIR and self-actualization must also be separated into males and females.

           Males strengthen the passion of immersing in fun and pursue future happiness with the desire for achievement. At this point, future happiness is the happiness that desires for self-actualization of social values, values of human relationships, economic values, etc. So, males live with passion and achievement for values of self and make a valuable life through work. Thus, the moods of fun are important for males.

           They do not feel fun at home because it is the place where they can feel comfortable and happy. They become relaxed as they get present happiness. On the contrary, they feel fun when they are outside for work because they find values of life. For males, future happiness is something they can actualize with vague hopes and anticipation. Since it does not exist in the present, they do not feel present happiness. They work dreaming future happiness for a valuable life even if they feel difficult. Not only working but also studying, making connections wider, making efforts to earn more money are all the same things. These are things they want to achieve with the passion, dreaming future happiness for values of life.

Male's future happiness is not just vague. It is possible to make it come true, at least from their point of view, but females think males talking about the future are not realistic and cannot feel it either. However, males can also feel enough present happiness. It is when they are in a daze and they spend time without thinking. When they do not think and perceive and when they do not need passion and achievement, they as well feel present happiness and they don't really pursue future happiness. Because of these reasons, males tend to not think when watching TV at home. Watching TV has nothing to do with their future happiness; they don't need to think about it in order to feel present comfort. They pursue future happiness outside and stop thinking when they get back home as they feel stable and comfortable.

If males feel their home uncomfortable, they won't be able to become comfortable and get stress arising from many thoughts. Therefore, if they are in a daze at home, it means that the house has become a happy place for them. It's just that males cannot perceive this. They live pursuing future happiness; they feel that they are living valuable lives when they do things to create values of life by immersing in the fun.

Females try to obtain present happiness with love that immerses in good emotions. She thinks female's love is not only an intimate relationship but also making an accomplishment in something by immersing herself in work, exercise, hobby, study, etc. Thus, it does not have to ve man's love. For example, if a female teacher heard from her students that they thank her after they become successful, she feels teaching is a rewarding job and perceives it as that she's receiving love. Like this, if a female receives love and gets maternal love, which is the love given as a wife and as a mother, her present is going to be happy. Females constantly make efforts to become happy if the present is not happy.

A female feels present happiness if she feels happy from the love received from a male, the love given to husband as a wife, and the love given to children as a mother. This means that she gets stress and wounds when she doesn't receive love from a male, when her love as a wife is either rejected or evaded by her husband and when her love as a mother is either rejected or evaded by her children.

Males tend to get stress when they do things that they don't want to do anymore as their passion fades away. Also, when their desires to achieve their goals and future happiness are frustrated by the current situation, they get a lot of stress even when there is no vague possibility. Males become unable to do self-actualization if problems occur in passion, achievement, and future happiness, they receive stress a lot as if they've lost values of their lives. Shortly saying, they get stress from work they are doing.

On the other hand, females are not affected by stress related to work that much. It is because they cannot avoid stress generated as they pursue passion, achievement, and happiness, but can treat the stress at home. They can heal their stress by the love received from a male, the husband, the love given to the husband, and the love given to children. However, if they cannot be healed at home, wounds will be generated resulting in problems in the mind. Due to this, rather than getting stress from work, they are wounded when they get back home if they see their children throwing tantrums or getting angry, the house being messy, or the husband just staying in a daze. Females' wounds are mostly generated at home like this. 

Males tend to relieve stress received from work before they get back home where they are comfortable by hanging out with acquaintances, coworkers, or friends. However, females heal their stress at home even if they had a difficult day at work, which is the reason they don't like to join a company dinner. All of these mentioned above are because males and females are different in the pursuit of happiness, the way they work, and the method for healing stress.  


A Person in Relationships and Family

 


           Family relationships mean a lot to a person in relationships (PIR). Have you ever thought deeply about what a family means to males and females? People don't really think of analyzing the meanings of the family from the viewpoint of the mind. Family is the base of human relationships; the husband-wife relationship, parent-child relationship, and relationships of siblings are formed. Family relationships for a meaningful life and those for a valuable life exist together at the same time. So, family relationships as PIR are very important.

           Each individual lives as a person, but the person pursues self-actualization in human relationships that are formed with others. This is why you were just told that a family relationship is the basis of human relationships. Father, mother, husband, wife, children, and siblings exist as a person when each stay as an individual, but family relationships are created as they live as PIR.

           Let's talk about what family is to males. To males, the family is the love of the unconscious. Males protect and become responsible for counterparties with the love of the unconscious. Males cannot answer clearly when they are asked what love is. They know they love their family, but they cannot think of how to express love. Their love is not something that can be expressed. So, when they are asked what they love in detail, their answers are usually 'do I really have to say in words?' or 'I love everything.' By doing so, they also think about what love is. It is a very natural phenomenon for a male if he has the love of the unconscious normally. It is not the love that is felt with the conscious but 'the love of the unconscious' that has been formed unknowingly. If a male answer what love is without hesitation, it is not the love of the unconscious but what he thinks love is. Male's love is to protect and be responsible for his counterparty unlimitedly. No matter how much you fight, no matter how angry or unwilling you are, you cannot get away from the loving relationship because you must protect and be responsible for your counterparties unlimitedly.

A male becomes angry if his wife and children face difficulties or get wounded. It is because he couldn't protect and be responsible for them. It must be understood that he gets angry not to his wife and children but to himself because he blames himself. This 'love of the unconscious,' which is unlimited protection and responsibility is unconditional, limitless, and without any purpose. He lives with the unconscious love that was formed unknowingly until the day he dies. This love is never formed again once it is formed. Therefore, a marriage is called a grave to males.

Therefore, males must protect their love and try to keep themselves stable and relaxed. They think their families would also have the happiness of self-actualization if they get the happiness of self-actualization by making economic values, values of human relationships, and social values. They make money for their families' comfortable and stable lives by their unconscious love of protection and responsibility. So, they sacrifice present happiness and pursue family happiness through future happiness. All they need is their families' happiness. If males have problems in their work and if the problems from work cause other problems in passion, achievement, and future happiness, they worry about their families first and get stressed. 

Like this, males treat their families as themselves, but there are males cutting off their families. These people were less than 1% in the past, but the number is increasing recently. They abandon their families when they face difficulties thinking that their families are dragging themselves down. Our society pursues more knowledge and economics than the mind resulting in devastated mind. In the end, society is making us abandon the most precious value for one's own fun.

          Man’s love is formed by identifying his family as himself in the unconscious. A man thinks his family as if they are himself unconsciously. He doesn't think of his family with the conscious. Rather, he has the unconscious love that operates unknowingly, has the meanings of life and pursues values by working.

           On the contrary, females are different from males. A female forms a family by receiving love as a woman from a man, the husband and giving love as a wife and a mother. So, she directly feel love of receiving; love of giving is the operation of maternal love, which is the love of the unconscious. Maternal love is stronger than love of receiving because the unconscious is prior to the conscious. Maternal love is the same as the male's 'love of the unconscious.' If a female suffers from a psychological disorder, she loses her maternal love, which is the unconscious, because she prioritizes the love she receives over maternal love. Also, her happiness as a wife and a mother is lost.

           Therefore, when looking at family relationships, whether a man has 'the love of the unconscious' or not and whether a woman has 'maternal love' or not must be analyzed accurately. No matter how messed up a family relationship may seem, the two things just mentioned must be analyzed, even if the family seems to be rich and honorable. No matter which situation a man or a female is in, the family relationships can be restored if the man has 'the love of the unconscious' and if the woman has 'maternal love.' It's just that both 'the love of the unconscious' and 'maternal love' are formed in the unconscious. Thus, they cannot be felt by a thought, which is the conscious, resulting in many conflicts and misunderstandings between men and women. 


Work and Family

 


           We create valuable lives as PIRs by working. so, when looking at the relationship between work and family, we can notice how important the work and family are. Males create value of life as they strengthen passion and achievement. By working, they create social value, value of human relationships, and economic value. The reasons for making these value is that males want to provide stability and happiness to family and that it is their meanings of life. Thus, males form the happiness of family by making value of life (social value, value of human relationships, and economic value through work) and have meanings of life.

           They pursue future happiness by immersing in the passion and achievement of work. As they actualize the value of life, they think their family will also be happy if they form their future happiness. However, the family members are unhappy since future happiness has not been established in the present yet.

           If a man lives hard for future happiness by immersing in the fun of working, his place at home in the present disappears. He is certain that his family had a stable and comfortable life because he did his best and worked hard to establish future happiness. But when it's time to stop working and live comfortably, such as getting old and retiring, he realizes that his family isn't around. So, the man complains that it is unfair. This is because the happiness of work and family has not been balanced in harmony.

           On the other hand, it is the same for females to have passion and achievement of working, but, unlike males, they work not for future happiness but for present happiness. Because males pursue future happiness through work, they have fun at work and think their family will have fun if they have fun and become happy if they are happy. However, females strengthen passion and achievement for their present happiness as they work. They strengthen passion and achievement through work in order to establish present happiness. They prefer work that they can be stable and happy whereas males prefer future-oriented work.

           Even in the case of venture firms, the workforce varies depending on whether they seek future happiness or want present happiness. Males have passion and achievement in their work for their future happiness, but females have passion and achievement in their work for their present happiness. Therefore, even when selecting a workforce, it is possible to hire males by presenting a low salary if the vision of hopes and dreams is guaranteed along with a bigger salary in the future; however, females must be satisfied with their work and present happiness as well.

           In the end, when working, a female makes sacrifices and dedication to her family while pursuing her own happiness, but a male gives up his present happiness while pursuing his family's happiness and demands sacrifice and dedication from his family while pursuing his future happiness. Males pursue future happiness, demanding sacrifice and dedication from their families, but females do what they can to their families for their present happiness. Therefore, harmony between work and family is necessary for both males and females.

           A man seeks the happiness of his family in his unconsciousness, but he does not recognize the happiness of his family as he pursues future happiness, immersing in the fun of his work. Therefore, if work and family happiness are not balanced at the same time, work and family cannot be stabilized. Also, a woman feels the love given to her family by sacrificing and devoting herself, but she cannot recognize passion and achievement from work as her own happiness. So, neither her work nor her family cannot be stabilized if the happiness of work and family is not in harmony.

          Immersing with passion and achievement in work may be good for a company since it increases profits and value, but problems occur in a family as his or her family become unhappy if a male or a female prioritize work over the family. This is the same for both males and females. They may be excellent in their work, but their family becomes unhappy suffering from difficulties. So, balancing work and family in harmony is very important for making meanings and value as PIRs (a person in relationships).

           The harmony between work and family is so important in the self-actualization and happiness of PIR that it can never be overemphasized. When studying the way to make the harmony of work and family, the first thing to be done is to change the recognition of males and females. Males must know that 'the happiness of a family is not in the value of work and life.' They must get away from the thought that "working hard is the only thing that is for the family." It means, knowing that it's not the happiness of a family to be immersed in work and to work hard. Work is just for fun. man should not think the happiness of his family is in achieving values of life (social value, value of human relationship, and economic value).

           A male should turn the object of passion and achievement into a family. It is to recognize that a family has the most precious value he must keep. He thinks that his family will always be there for him and that he will live comfortably and happily with his family cheering and recognizing himself if he immerses himself in his work and achieves the value of life. But the reality is different from what he thinks. Because making value of life by immersing himself in his work is the vague future happiness, his family does not think the same as he does and cannot have present happiness. Due to this, he faces conflicts with his family over time and have problems generated.

           Therefore, a male should know that the purpose of immersion in work and working hard is not only for the value of life but also for his family. Why do you work? Why would you want to live with your family if you work for the value of your life or only for your own happiness? Most would say, 'That's not it.' After all, it shouldn't be forgotten that the purpose of immersion in work and working hard is to live with the family together and to recognize that the family is the most valuable.

           On the contrary, a female should know that the happiness of her family is her-centered when it is formed. Females tend to prioritize work over the family when they focus on and immerse themselves in their work as they enjoy their work. Her husband and children think that they would do fine and immerse themselves in their work. They think that everything can be resolved with money and that they can spare time for a moment when it's needed. So, their interpretations of work are self-centered.

           A female makes the happiness of her family her-centered. Her work and family should be balanced in harmony, but in most cases, it's slanted toward one side. Work is for pursuing self-happiness, not for the happiness of the family. She could feel bad when she is told that her work is supposed to be not for her family but for her happiness. She could be a little sad saying that 'I've been working so hard for my husband and children.' She could feel bad when she is told that her work is supposed to be not for her family but for her happiness. She could be a little sad saying that 'I've been working so hard for my husband and children.' In the end, if she immerses in work for her husband and children, it is just a part of her maternal love. It is, in fact, not immersing herself in work. Of course, it is true that her maternal love is strong and great because she has been sacrificing herself, but it is not actually immersing in work.


Success Orientation

 


          A male pursues future success. He would think that he is the happiest man in the world if he becomes successful. Well, then how long will the happiness last? How happy would he be if his future happiness becomes true in the present? However, thinking backward, it means his future happiness no more exists. He will face difficult times after a certain period of time is passed. He can even think of committing suicide. It is a phenomenon that happens when he cannot find and set a new goal to accomplish because he can no more pursue future happiness. Even if he has succeeded, it is only a little while for him to feel happiness. Ultimately, his passion and desires for achievement are stopped when he becomes successful. It makes him difficult as the conscious that he has no more to accomplish is formed. His future happiness disappears.

           Like this, males live aiming for their success in the future. They strengthen passion and desires for achievement and have the power to overcome the present difficulties. So, they have fun and feel values of life from having the passion and immersing themselves in work. Their future goals must be better than their present so that they can generate passion to move forward to the future even if they face difficulties in the present. Males relax for a while after they become successful, but they pursue future happiness again toward another different goal since thoughts, passion, and desires for achievement disappear. Wealth and honor are not important; it is not a matter of success or failure.

           On the other hand, females pursue present happiness, unlike males. Their happiness must be attained in the present. They strengthen passion and accomplishment for present success. They become rich in hear and happy if they achieve success in the present; they become able to pursue future happiness based on the present happiness they have.

           Let's talk about protests for wage negotiations for example. There are many protests by wage negotiations and other disputes centered on workers' unions. This phenomenon occurs in many workplaces every year. Wage negotiations and arguments may indicate that real workers are protesting and striking because of complaints, but from a perspective of minds, they are a little different. The more businesses do not have a healing system to relieve stress from work, the more likely they are to stage protests or walkouts. After all, there is no reason for a protest or strike if a healing system is created to generate fun and good feelings while working. It should be understood that the stress caused by the issue of actualizing values of life rather than economic benefits or welfare issues is expressed in effect. Despite a low salary, if working itself is fun and exciting, complaints or requests will massively decrease; the present labor culture will have a lot of changes if the stress can be recovered with hopes and dreams.

           Also, regardless of money and work problems, the loss and frustration that come from the loss of one's value in life are much greater than that comes from the loss of one's job. Creating a healing system to relieve these stresses is urgently needed from the perspective of employers and employees.


A Pleasurable Life

 


           A pleasurable life is a life where you consider a life living for a specific object as happiness. A pleasurable life is mostly pursued by males who pursue future happiness. Males with normal psychology pursue a pleasurable life since their minds pursue future happiness, but they pursue present happiness like females if they have psychological disorders. Females with normal psychology pursue a comfortable life since their minds pursue present happiness, but they pursue future happiness like males if they have psychological disorders.

           The condition of having the moods of fun, pleasure, joy, passion, etc. and of thinking that the future will be happy rather than thinking about joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure in the past is referred to as pursuing pleasure.

           The cause of pursuing a pleasurable life is a thought that the future will also be happy by positive psychology (moods that occur due to fun, joy, and pleasure in their psychology) that is necessary for passion and the desire for achievement. So, pleasure is sensed as being dynamic and happy. You pursue a pleasurable life as you perceive the pleasure you have in the present and it will last in the future. Regardless of others including family, you think that everyone will have fun and be happy if you enjoy and that the lives of everybody will be happy. So, you have feelings as if the pleasurable life is the life with the happiness in the future, which is the present value that males have. You think the pleasurable life is the happy life as it is perceived to be the best.

           On the other hand, if a female pursues a pleasurable life, she has a psychological disorder. This is when she either has positive emotions or pleasure upon a specific target as her love and maternal love moves unto it or him (her). This specific target can be not only a person but also various objects such as career, hobby, exercise, etc. So, females pursuing a pleasurable life have neither love nor maternal love.

           These females mostly have lots of passion and the desire for achievement like the psychology of males. They seem to be passionate and are perceived nicely because they have manly personalities, passion, and strong desires for achievement. It might seem cool, but those females get to seek pleasure without love and maternal love developing psychological disorders, whereas females with normal psychology pursue the present happiness.

           Females pursuing pleasurable lives already have psychological disorders. Females psychological disorders take up a large portion of the causes of addiction and pleasure-seeking. Males cannot feel womanliness from these females but they perceive them as objects of seeking pleasure with a sense of kinship pursuing fun together.

           However, a pleasurable life is not a happy life. Since having fun means pursuing pleasure-seeking for fun endlessly, only moods for fun exist. Also, the more you have fun, the stronger your desire for fun becomes; this desire for fun could become addiction. Since you are not staying in the comfort, you feel as if you were passionate. Due to this passion, the desire for achievement gets stronger; you think that your future will be constantly happy thinking that the pleasurable feelings will last.

           Therefore, having fun is the same as having passion and desires for the achievement toward a specific object; these females pursuing pleasurable lives their entire lives for specific objects, rather than for themselves and family. They devote their entire lives and think certainly that they will be happy if they achieve this goal as they think that they can do anything, that it is for themselves and family, and that their lives are meaningless without these objects. They look for another object to devote their passion again if they achieve their goals.

           Pursuing a pleasurable life is vaguely believing that you will be happy after devoting your entire life to a specific object. Due to this, you end up repeatedly having passion and desires for achievement on specific objects and devoting your entire life to them.

           You are losing yourselves and family, who are the most precious, but not recognizing the fact. Your body and mind are being devastated making your lives futile as you seek only for pleasure and pursue the passion. You blame your family and others for causes of your unhappiness such as futile life, failure, etc. because you feel youve been pursuing happiness for sure. However, you need to know that the one who has caused your failure and unhappiness is yourself because you have pursued a pleasurable life.

           You cannot live a comfortable and happy life if you pursue a pleasurable life. It is the same as pursuing the downfall of your life, the devastation of your body and mind, agony in a household, immersion into specific objects leaving yourself nothing.


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