It does not have to be hard to find a person to marry. Age is not important, either. You seem to want to get married but have not found the right person just yet.
As you maintain healthy and stable psychology and continue with what ever you are doing, it is for sure that you will meet the person you want to marry. However, if you are suffering from psychological problems and cannot manage your own life well, it is likely that you cannot meet the right person or just meet people who want to share only pleasure instead of making a commitment. Especially, if you yourself become a pleasure seeker, you will naturally get involved with people like you, who focus more on pleasure than happiness.
It is essential to maintain healthy psychology if you want to marry and live a happy life with your spouse. If you already have many psychological problems, you must treat your psychology first. Then, you will naturally meet someone who wants to marry you regardless of your age. If you do not treat your psychology, it is likely that your psychological condition worsens as time passes and the probability to meet the right person decreases.
Many people say that it is hard to find the right partner to marry, but it is far from the truth. It is hard because people try to find someone who can compensate for their psychological problems and develop dependency on the partner. Normal people would not do so, and people who are willing to do so must have some serious psychological condition to start with, which necessarily leads to the collapse of relationships. You may be in the vicious cycle where you keep meeting people with psychological disorders and aggravating your psychological wounds, making you feel that you cannot meet the right person to marry.
It is more important to build the environment for finding a partner than to find a partner. If you think that you are already surrounded by people with psychological disorders, you can keep some distance from them and focus on the treatment of your own psychology. After the treatment, you will find that people with psychological disorders disappear and people with healthy psychology come close to you.
Life is a continuum that continues until you die. You never know when you will meet the right person, get married, and live happily. Your current age is not important at all. The most important factor is your own psychological condition whether you marry, get a divorce, or remarry.
Q. I am a divorced man in 40's who is raising 2 daughters. If I want to remarry, what type of women would be ideal for me: a woman who has never married, a divorced woman who is raising children, or a divorced woman without children?
A. First, you must find out what kind of trauma you have by analyzing why you have got a divorce and how you have had the custody of children. You must first analyze your psychological condition before thinking about the type of your new spouse. Then you must analyze the psychological condition of the woman you want to remarry.
When you are in a dating relationship, you usually try to show and develop positive emotions toward each other. Then, underlying psychological conditions are displayed after you marry or get used to each other and you develop relational conflicts. You and your partner may look happy and comfortable on the surface, but may have psychological problems deep inside, which will definitely manifest itself in a marriage relationship.
It is hard to give you a specific answer at this stage because you have not met the prospective partner yet. You can analyze your own psychological conditions at present, but you cannot analyze your partner. What you can do now is to analyze your psychological conditions and build healthy psychology of a divorced man. Then, you can analyze your partner's psychology when you have met one.
In the saying 'Failure is the stepping stone to success', success means 'achieving the goal' and failure means 'giving up the goal'. It must be noted that failure is not 'not achieving the goal' but 'giving up the goal when you have not achieved the goal'. 'The stepping stone' can be interpreted as two interchangeable concepts. One is building success based on failure and the other is not giving up in the process of building success. The core concept is 'not giving up' in both interpretations.
Then, how would the saying 'Failure is the stepping stone to success' be applied in real life situations? First of all, it is meaningless to advise people who have already given up making efforts by saying, 'Failure is the stepping stone to success.' They would not accept the advice or show any interest. The saying can only be applied to people who have failed to achieve their goal but have not given up yet and are still making efforts.
Your life cannot be judged for success or failure at some point in the middle of life since life covers the whole period from birth till death, and you may experience both success and failure repeatedly in the course of your life. Whether your life is success or failure can be determined only at the very last moment of your life. For most people, they are still in the process of pursuing success experiencing both successful and unsuccessful moments. If you have lived making efforts to achieve goals and have not given up, you are considered to have lived a successful life so far.
You may set many goals as you proceed in life. Each goal can be achieved or failed. Failure in one goal in life does not mean that your whole life is failure. You can always try again or set another goal and make efforts. The same logic applies to success. Achieving one goal in life does not mean that your whole life is success. You must come up with another goal as soon as you achieve one goal. A case of success and a case of failure must be treated identically and cannot be taken as the indicator for success or failure of your whole life since you still have many years left to be lived. When you conclude that your life is failure only referring to one case of failure, you may give up and cannot take advantage of the experience of failure to achieve the next goal.
The saying, 'failure is the stepping stone to success' means we can learn through failure. It is also similar to the concept of trial and error. Trial and error is the concept that includes the whole process of making efforts, experiencing failure, and achieving the goal. In this sense, failure is part of success. We learn how to overcome difficulties and not make the same mistakes again through trial and error.
Since learning is made only through direct experiences, it builds unique strategies and methods that belong only to you. If you have not achieved your goal, it indicates that you have not fully developed strategies and metnods for success and it does not mean that you have failed in life. All throughout the lifetime, we are supposed to make efforts for another goal when we have failed in one goal.
Failure is a driving force for success for people who make efforts for success. However, if you keep failing no matter how hard you try, you can check for the following mistakes.
- You have only very short term goals, which are right in front of you.
- You try to avoid disappointment by not admitting your failure.
- You blame other people or the environment for your failure
- You try to take advantage of other people to achieve your goal.
- You are dependent on other people.
The process of self-checking is also a part of trial and error. You will repeat only failure if you try to take only success without analyzing failure. You must never give up and always reflect upon your past ideas and actions. Also, you cannot achieve success in a true sense when you blame, depend upon, or take advantage of others. Success employing such distorted methods will have destructive influence on yourself, other people, and the society.
We always pursue success and experience failure within human relationships. You may feel difficulties when you recognize that you are falling behind compared with other people and you have not achieved as much as other people. It is crucial to set a clear goal of your own making, and make sure what role you want to serve in the society to maintain healthy psychology in the process of pursuing success.
When you accurately understand the concept of 'Failure is the stepping stone to success', you can not only reflect upon yourself but also inform other people of the concept. Directly helping other people when they repeat failure can cause them to stay in failure by developing dependency. You can simply let them know about the concept of trial and error and the possibility of success, and encourage them to have faith and hope in themselves.
When you succeed from only one try or experience only success in a row, you may not learn how to overcome difficulties and maneuver your life through wind and waves. True happiness can be achieved when you experience success after failure in the process of trial and error. Many people are looking for only success and do not want to experience failure, but success can be achieved only with involving failure and only by your own will power and effort.
Some people say that you are as unhappy as you have. It can be interpreted that you should not have too much in order to be happy. To accurately understand the relationship between 'having' and 'being happy', we must first understand what it means to 'have'. You can 'have' either materials or knowledge and experiences. Materials can be possessed by you and then transferred to other people, but knowledge and experiences uniquely belong to you and cannot be transferred to others.
Firstly, if you become unhappy as you have more materials, it is because you become nervous and anxious for keeping what you already have or grow excessive desire to have even more, which may lead you to become unhappy. You may also feel unhappy when you see people who have more than you. When you have all the above conditions, you are considered to be enslaved by materials. Of course, people who do not have much can become enslaved by materials when they become nervous and anxious about having more and keeping what they already have.
Having or not having materials does not determine happiness or unhappiness. It is rather your ideas and attitudes about 'having' that determines happiness or unhappiness. People who have a lot can be happy when they are not obsessed or enslaved by materials. They will make good use of what they have for themselves and other people promoting happiness everywhere. Materials cannot be judged as negative or positive in and of themselves, but it is people's mind set and behaviors that make materials look positive or negative. We all must reflect on how to make use of what we have to become happy in a true sense. Without accurately understanding what you can do with what you have in a negative of positive way, you will become unhappy no matter how much materials you have.
Secondly, you can have knowledge and experiences with which you can be happy or unhappy. Your knowledge and experiences are uniquely yours and cannot be transferred to other people as materials can. Your knowledge and experiences can be connected with negative or positive emotions inside you. When they are connected with negative emotions such as stress and wounds causing psychological suffering at present, you will become as unhappy as you have. However, you can change your emotions to positive ones and you can become happy with the identical knowledge and emotions. Then, you will actually become as happy as you have.
With respect to materials, you can become as happy as you have by establishing right ideas and attitudes toward keeping and making use of materials. With respect to knowledge and experiences, you can become as happy as you have by changing negative emotions connected with them into positive ones. For materials, you may gain some and lose some in the course of life, but you can still be happy with the right ideas and attitudes regardless of how much you have. For knowledge and experiences, the more stress and wounds you have, the more happiness you can achieve by changing all the stress and wounds into positive emotions. You are the only person who can decide what emotions you want to connect with them. For both materials and knowledge and experiences, you yourself can and must decide whether to make use of what you have for happiness or unhappiness. You can be as unhappy as you have or as happy as you have depending on your ideas, attitudes, and emotions.
When people are sick in the body, they may immediately try to find ways to recover by getting rest, taking medicine, or consulting a doctor. They will ususally take some measures at an early stage not to aggravate the condition.
However, when they are sick in the mind, people are less active in trying to recover, thinking that they will become well as time goes by or not really knowing what to do. In many cases, they may blame other people for their psychological pain and suffering and try to change other people. All of the above only aggravate psychological conditions.
Both the body and the mind are important for us to live happily. Healthy body is necessary for survival and healthy mind is necessary for happiness. They are equally important but maintaining healthy mind is less emphasized than it should be.
If you want to achieve happiness, you must always watch your psychological health and take a good care of even mild symptoms of the sickness in the mind as you do for the sickness in the body. You must treat your own psychological wounds before analyzing what and who caused your sickness in the mind.
Standardized psychology tests may be useful in some situations such as when you use them for diagnosing general psychological conditions or for addressing mild cases of psychological problems. However, they interfere with the treatment process and aggravate psychological conditions rather then help when you treat psychological disorders.
Some clients may feel that standardized psychology tests serve as the basis for building trust with the therapists and facilitate the treatment but such process is usually unnecessary for treating psychological disorders, which must focus more on the operation of the unconscious than on that of the conscious.
When the therapists of psychology treatment refer to and rely on the results of the standardized psychology tests, they may build bias toward the clients' psychological conditions and become to focus on the manifested phenomena relying on the clients' conscious, which includes conscious thoughts and retrieved memories. Then, the therapists cannot but be led to analyze and focus on the original family, growth process, and traumatic events themselves rather than on the underlying imbalance of the unconscious operation of mind.
It is impossible to treat psychological disorders when the therapists become dependent on the clients' consciousness and then, the clients' psychological conditions deteriorate in the process. It is strongly recommended not to adopt methods that advocate taking standardized psychology tests for treating psychological disorders.
We try to find ways to make our loved ones happy. Our own happiness is important but we also hope for happiness of our spouse, parents, children, and friends. To achieve happiness of ours and our loved ones, we must first accurately understand the concept of happiness. Although happiness is a subjective emotional experience, we need to understand about the standard of happiness in order to prevent problems and achieve happiness in a true sense.
Most people live together with other people in human relationships, so the standard of happiness must accord with the happiness in human relationships. When you live only as an individual without any human relationship, you can be happy with your own comfort and pleasure regardless of other people. However, humans are designed to pursue happiness in relationships once they have stability and composure as an individual. That is why you are naturally inclined to help strangers in need. Thus, the basis of happiness in relationships is stability and composure as an individual.
When you interact with people psychologically in relationships, you cannot but generate stress and psychological wounds. When problems that caused stress and wounds are solved and your psychological balance is restored, you may feel moved and touched. The greater stress and wounds, the more you feel moved and touched when the issue is resolved. You feel happy for restoring stability and composure after solving the problem. This feeling of happiness is quite complex and much more than the simple combination of a wide range of emotions such as joy, pleasure, sorrow, and anger. After feeling moved, you may come back to the state of stability and composure. Happiness is the whole process of being stable, experiencing difficulties, solving problems, feelings moved, and being stable again. You can help your loved ones become happy by letting them experience the whole process.
Specifically, there are two ways to make efforts to make your counterparty happy. One is to completely comply with the counterparty's standard of happiness. You may provide everything so that the counterparty can get out of difficulties and achieve stability and composure. Since everyone has different standards for happiness, you may need to adopt different strategies for everyone you are trying to help. The other way is for you to become a happy person. When you have happiness ability by taking care of your stress and wounds, feeling moved and touched, and restoring stability and composure on your own regardless of interactions with other people, people around you will naturally feel happy just to be with you. These are the only two ways to help other people become happy.
When you adopt the first strategy and try to comply with the counterparty' standard of happiness, you must make efforts to sacrifice yourself. On the other hand, when you have happiness ability, people around you will automatically feel happy without any effort on your part. In the latter case, your own happiness affects people around you in a positive way to make them feel happy.
Many people mistake stability, composure, and comfort for happiness. These are the conditions with the absence of stress and wounds rather than happiness. Also, when you have to constantly stay in the state of stress and wounds without overcoming them, you cannot restore stability and composure. When you cannot experience feeling moved in the process of solving the problem, you may stay in stress and wounds and then in stability and composure, which does not count as happiness in a true sense, either.
There are three types of people who live in unhappiness. The first type is people who blame themselves, the second people who blame other people, and the third people who are dependent on people who alleviate stress and wounds for them. In the first case, only they themselves suffer from psychological difficulties. Other people usually do not recognize their difficulties. Secondly, people who blame others make other people unhappy by negatively affecting them. When the second type of people develop severe condition, they may feel comfort and pleasure by blaming and damaging other people. The third type of people depend on other people to solve their own problems. It cannot work and only causes psychological difficulties on both parties since your psychological problems cannot be solved by other people. No one can become happy by blaming self or others or by depending on others for their psychological problems. To become happy in relationships, you must make efforts for your own happiness and build the ability to overcome stress and wounds, feel moved and touched, and restore stability and composure.
People want to make other people happy in relationships since they themselves feel happy when they are with happy people. However, it is only yourself who can make you happy and this mechanism applies to everyone. You can build your own happiness ability and wait for your loved ones to build their happiness ability. Your loved ones may see you become a happy person and choose to become happy people themselves.
When you have happiness ability and live happily, you do not consciously recognize that you are happy. Since you are mostly in the state of stability and composure, you do not express your being happy outwardly. On the contrary, people who consciously feel and express their being happy are considered to be having fun and pleasure instead of having stability and composure. These days, fun and pleasure appear to be mistaken for happiness by many people.
When you have happiness ability, you can easily address stress and wounds and maintain stability and composure on your own. On the other hand, when you have great stress and wounds but cannot adequately address them inside you, you may constantly seek positive moods from positive sensory stimulation to compensate for the negative moods. The more fun and pleasure you pursue and consciously recognize, the more stress and wounds you are considered to have. These people may think that happiness comes with excitement and consider people who have happiness ability as boring people. They may be having fun as individuals but people around them are likely to suffer from damage inflicted by these selfish pleasure seekers.
Adulterers and adulteresses are people who have extra-marital affairs. From the perspective of the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology, they are considered to have a condition of psychological disorder : relationship addiction. They get immersed into the object of infidelity out of compulsion caused by stress and they cannot stand being exposed to stress and wounds responding irrationally.
They will express extreme resistance against anything that hinders or objects their ideas or behaviors regarding relationship addiction. On the other hand, they will express extreme liking toward anything that promotes or supports their relationship addiction.
When you develop relationship addiction, you may develop positive emotions toward a wrong person, which may also change your thoughts and behaviors. Then, you may fall for distorted human relationships and destroy normal and happy relationships. Some people may argue that they just had some fun and it is nothing serious. Then, why would they try to hide the fact of infidelity, which is just for a little fun? They try to hide the fact of infidelity since they have developed emotions toward the object of infidelity, which they themselves have taken quite seriously. People with relationship addiction have developed distorted habits of perception and expression, so they think and behave in the opposite ways from people with normal psychology. They like what normal people dislike and dislike what normal people like.
Adulterers and adulteresses are people who have extra-marital affairs. From the perspective of the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology, they are considered to have a condition of psychological disorder : relationship addiction. They get immersed into the object of infidelity out of compulsion caused by stress and they cannot stand being exposed to stress and wounds responding irrationally.
They will express extreme resistance against anything that hinders or objects their ideas or behaviors regarding relationship addiction. On the other hand, they will express extreme liking toward anything that promotes or supports their relationship addiction.
When you develop relationship addiction, you may develop positive emotions toward a wrong person, which may also change your thoughts and behaviors. Then, you may fall for distorted human relationships and destroy normal and happy relationships. Some people may argue that they just had some fun and it is nothing serious. Then, why would they try to hide the fact of infidelity, which is just for a little fun? They try to hide the fact of infidelity since they have developed emotions toward the object of infidelity, which they themselves have taken quite seriously. People with relationship addiction have developed distorted habits of perception and expression, so they think and behave in the opposite ways from people with normal psychology. They like what normal people dislike and dislike what normal people like.
First, you must accurately understand the concept of work life to be able to know how to be happy and successful in work life. Without accurate understanding, you may not be able to address the root cause of problems and may continue to have problems or even aggravate the situation.
There can be two essential components to consider for work life. One is the financial component and the other is the component of the pursuit of values. Most of us work to earn a living and to pursue values of life. If you think that you are happy and successful in work life, it means that you are paid enough or you are pursuing certain values or both.
Some people focus more on financial component and others more on the component of the pursuit of values. Of course, you may change your focus as you progress at work. Whichever your focus is, you need to build experience and knowledge to achieve more at work in your future. Experience and knowledge may vary depending on what you and your employer pursue at work.
As you build and accumulate new knowledge and experience at work, you necessarily experience stress. When you have a clear goal regarding either of the two components, you can easily heal stress each time it occurs. When you do not, your stress may continue and be accumulated. You may feel that you have problems of relationships, work environment, or work itself, but the root cause is the psychological condition in which you cannot heal stress generated from work.
One important aspect of your perception of problems at work is relationships at the work place. People you meet at work pursue their own goals of financial achievement or pursuit of life values. It must be clearly understood that you do not interact with them to share emotions or personal happiness. You are interacting with people at work for practical purposes, which may vary for every individual. You should not get your emotions involved in relationships at work, be it positive or negative. You may lose your goals at work and develop psychological problems when you are confused between work relationships and personal relationships.
When you aim for financial achievement at work but feel that you are seriously underpaid for your work, you necessarily develop problems since your major goal for working cannot be achieved. In such cases, you must find some ways to raise your pay such as negotiating for a raise or persuading the employer regarding the value of your work. Some people may decide to keep the job thinking that the pay supports and promotes happiness of family and this idea may provide the basis for healing.
When you feel that you are treated unfairly at work and decide to make efforts to change the situation, you are considered to be pursuing the value of equality at the work place instead of financial achievement. People may think that you are not fit to stay at the work place since you do not like the current situation, but you are actually pursuing your value at work, which is to change the work environment. However, problems may occur when your pursuit of value contradicts the pursuit of value of other people at your work place.
Some people work for both the financial achievement and the pursuit of values of life simultaneously. Then, it is more likely to cause problems since meeting both goals is less feasible, and then, more stress may be generated. On the other hand, when you work for only one component of the two, you are likely to get less stress and the other is likely to follow as you progress. Therefore, it is recommended that you aim for achievement in only one component.
Above all, perceiving human relationships at work as relationships for practical purposes is the most important aspect from the perspective of psychology. This perception will let you focus on achieving your goal at work without accumulating stress and protect you from unnecessary conflicts and difficulties.
Analyzing purposes for divorce or remarriage are important since it is directly connected with your pursuit of happiness after divorce or remarriage. Some people may just get a divorce out of emotional disturbance and do not reflect deeply about the matter objectively and regret their actions later. Any one who plans for divorce or remarriage needs to accurately analyze purposes for divorce or remarriage.
There are three types of purposes for divorce or remarriage. One is to live a better life than now. They vaguely think that life after divorce or remarriage will be at least better than the present life. Another is to avoid the present situation since it is so painful and difficult for them to keep going. The other is to become happy in the future with specific life plans after divorce or remarriage.
Whatever the purpose of divorce or remarriage is, you may confront diverse problems since life may not unfold as you have thought or planned. This is because you have not adequately addressed your psychological problems in the past and at present. No matter how hard you try after divorce or remarriage with or without specific plans, you may not be able to achieve happiness after divorce or remarriage since you had and still have pathological psychological conditions. then, the practical situation and your psychological condition may be aggravated as you proceed with life after divorce and remarriage and you may end up confronting more and more serious and diverse psychological and practical problems.
First, you must analyze your psychological condition before and after divorce or remarriage. Accurate analysis will guide you to solve problems that hinder you from adequately pursuing happiness. If you are diagnosed as having psychological problems or disorders in the past or at present, addressing psychological problems is the first and foremost thing to do before anything for your present and future happiness.
If you are suffering form diverse practical or psychological problems after divorce or remarriage, it is strongly recommended that you find the root cause of problems and adequately address the issue. You should never give up on finding the root cause and resolving the issue regardless of your circumstance. It may be a major turning point for putting your life back on track and living happily with your loved ones.
A person and a person in relationships are different.
A person focuses on survival and pursues only individual's happiness. A person exists alone without the concept of having relationships with other people. A person exists, survives, and thinks. The psychology of perception, memory, and expression of a person operates focused on individual happiness rather than on relationships, so everyone has the right for freedom and equality when they exist as a person.
Human beings are unique species with their own value and dignity. They cannot be objects of comparison with any other plant or animal. Also, a person cannot be compared with another person since every individual has unique thoughts based on unique life experiences.
When two or more people exist in relationships, they are referred to as 'a person in relationships'. A person aims only for survival and individual's happiness, but a person in relationships exists as a person and pursue self-actualization with meanings and values of life in relationships at the same time. A person in relationships exists with other people and thinks about relationships. The psychology of perception, memory, and expression of a person in relationships operates associated with human relationships. To exist as a person in relationships, people need to suppress individual's right of freedom and equality to a certain degree and maintain harmony and order with other people.
A person in relationships pursues individual's happiness and happiness in relationships simultaneously, and pursues self-actualization with social, relational, and economic values in the society and with meanings in the family.
Q. I got a divorce due to financial problems after my husband failed in business. After the divorce, I lived with children and my husband's mother for 10 years. My husband never contacted me all those years. We got back together after his mother passed away due to financial problems again. I am still in financial difficulties and I do not have any feelings toward my husband, which causes psychological pain in me. Should I get separated or divorced again?
A. Some people get a divorce solely due to financial reasons to protect family. You got a divorce and never contacted each other for 10 years, so it could be a real divorce or a divorce due to financial reasons. You were strong enough to take care of children and your husband's mother for those years. Then, you got back together due to financial problems again.
Your husband lived by himself without even contacting you for 10 years. He has developed habits of living alone for 10 years. You have also developed habits of living without a husband for 10 years. It is likely that your husband wants only comfort whether you are together or separate. It is also likely that you and your husband have different psychology now after 10 years of separation.
You must focus on your own situation and your own life for now. Do you think you can become happy only if your husband becomes successful financially? Do you think you can bring back feelings toward your husband and how?
The first and foremost thing to do is to treat your psychological wounds and restore healthy psychology. In the process, your husband must try to rebuild economic ability and build feelings toward each other. If your husband cannot rebuild economic ability and you cannot rebuild feelings toward each other even after you have restored healthy psychology, you are recommended to get a divorce rather than a separation. After a divorce, you still need to find a way to live happily by building the psychology of divorce.
Difficulties will continue and your husband will not be given the opportunity to restore his economic ability and psychology unless you are treated and change to be a happy woman you used to be. Without treatment of wounds and psychology, you will have to life in unhappiness regardless of your marital status.
There are two contradictory sayings : 'knowledge is power' and 'ignorance is bliss'. Both knowledge and ignorance can be beneficial or detrimental depending on circumstances. Knowledge is obtained by accumulating and internalizing information and experiences. When you have accumulated and internalized knowledge inside you, whether your knowledge is an accurate one or a distorted one is crucial. Having accurate knowledge contributes to promoting happiness in life for yourself and for people around you. On the other hand, having distorted knowledge negatively affects not only your life but also lives of people around you.
The above argument also applies to understanding the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology. Understanding in distorted ways how emotions work in yourself and other people negatively affects your life as much as distorted knowledge about other matters does. When you accurately understand how your mind operates and how stress and psychological wounds develop, you can prevent and solve problems related with not only your own psychology but also human relationships. Distorted knowledge on mind and psychology may aggravate your psychological conditions and relationships with people as time passes or as you take wrong measures. Accurate knowledge on mind and psychology can be power, with which you can build happiness in life.
When we believe and implement the saying, 'knowledge is power', it is essential to build accurate knowledge instead of distorted knowledge. Distorted knowledge will lead you to a distorted life and 'ignorance may actually be bliss' if your knowledge is a distorted one. It is better not to know at all than having distorted knowledge. Not having either accurate or distorted knowledge may neither promote nor destroy happiness in life of yours and other people's. People who have distorted knowledge may destroy not only their life but also lives of many innocent and ignorant people. They may even denounce people who have accurate knowledge being falsely convinced that only their knowledge is an accurate one. When you yourself have accurate knowledge, you will not be affected by people who disseminate distorted knowledge and will build happiness in life on your own.
When you do not experience stress and psychological wounds, it may be a case of the saying, 'ignorance is bliss'. Then, you have neither knowledge nor power, and you have neither happiness nor unhappiness. Such a psychological condition is almost impossible in most people who live in human relationships, but it may be possible when you live all by yourself in a deep forest. You don't have to think, feel, or suffer, and have no ability to prevent or solve diverse problems in life.
When humans experience difficulties in life, they develop the desire for understanding and overcoming difficulties and make efforts to have knowledge and correct the situation. You may have thought that 'ignorance is bliss' so far, but once you experience difficulties, you may change to think that 'knowledge is power'. When you build accurate knowledge and make efforts to correct the situation and build happiness, you can contribute to happiness of yours and other people's.
On the other hand, when you decide to live without difficulties including stress and psychological wounds, you may think that 'ignorance is bliss'. The only way to achieve such a life style is to live all by yourself without forming any human relationship. You don't have to know anything about human mind and psychology, since all you need is survival as a biological human being. If you decide to go to a desert island and live all by yourself, you must erase all you memories about past human relationships since your knowledge and experiences that were accumulated and internalized based on human relationships makes it impossible for you to live as a person without any human relationship.
When you believe that 'ignorance is bliss' and act accordingly still living in human relationships, it is highly likely that you will be taken advantage of by other people without even realizing it and live an unhappy life. The saying, 'knowledge is power' is more appropriate and valuable than the saying, 'ignorance is bliss' in order to build happiness in life, but we must always be vigilant on whether our knowledge is an accurate one or a distorted one.
