[Sex & Xes] What it means by a man protecting his woman with respect to sexuality

 

Nowadays, all sexual information is skewed towards sexual pleasure, so much so that both men and women have the misconception that a man's sexual instinct is all about seeking sexual pleasure. However, a man's true sexual instinct is about protection of women. It is the essence of a man's sexual instinct to protect and accommodate his woman so that she can safely and freely engage in sexual actions using him as a vehicle. That is why a man does not attach meaning and emotion to sex. If a man attaches his own ideas or specific meanings and emotions to sex, he will not be able to accommodate a woman's sexual actions freely because he will apply his own standards to her sexual actions.

Without knowing this principle and essence, most men think that it is a man's sexual instinct to pursue sexual pleasure, especially if he does not attach any meaning, emotion, or thought to having sex. Pleasure is a natural need in human life, but its basic nature is "for me". Pleasure is the maximization of the positive sensations felt by my sensory organs, and the pursuit of pleasure is basically for myself, not for the other person.

The essence of a woman's sexuality is the generation and radiation of xes energy, which means that a woman generates and radiates xes energy and transmits it to a man when the man protects and attunes to her. Therefore, from the woman’s point of view, the partner himself is actually much more important than sexual actions or sexual pleasure to be able to keep herself safe. This is because a woman can basically generate as much xes energy as she wants on her own, so sexual actions or sexual pleasure isn't as important as the partner with whom she can share her sexuality and reinforce her xes energy. The partner must be able to protect her and he must be valuable enough to share her sexuality with.

Therefore, it is a basic value for a woman to attach meaning, feelings, and thoughts to having sex, because if she engages in sexual actions without these elements, she cannot be guaranteed for her safety. However, today, women's sexual instincts also have been understood in distorted ways, and women are preoccupied with these meanings, feelings, and thoughts, putting aside the generation and radiation of xes energy.

When a man says he wants to protect a woman, he's actually saying, "I don't want to use you for my own sexual pleasure," which means he wants to make sure she doesn't become a vehicle for his own self-pleasure. This is how a man's sexual instincts work, so even if he doesn't know how it works, when he finds a woman he truly loves, he will want to protect her by restraining himself. Also, the same sexual action has completely different outcomes when the woman is the main agent and the man complies with the woman, and when the man is the main agent and uses the woman as a means to his own sexual pleasure.

Since a man can generate xes energy only at a negligible level, sexual actions that are dominated by a man end up achieving only the temporary pleasure in the sensory organs, and since this is such a short hedonic response, a relationship that is dominated by this aspect quickly becomes boring, and the woman actually creates a lot of wounds in the process.

On the other hand, in a relationship where the man is attuned to the woman's happiness, not his own sexual pleasure, and where the woman is in control, passion and love are strongly activated and long-lasting, beyond the pleasure of the sensory organs. This is because xes energy that a woman generates and radiates through sexual activity strengthens passion and love for both herself and her partner.

In order for the relationship to be virtuous in nature, it is essential for a woman to stop being sexually dependent on a man and become the master of her sexuality, but no matter how much a woman becomes the master of her sexuality, she will be useless to a man who values sexual pleasure and is unable to adapt himself to her. Therefore, a man must also become the master of his sexuality, knowing that his sexuality is protective and supportive, and that he can use his sexuality to protect and comply with his woman, not for his own sexual pleasure. Please, remember that sexual pleasure, no matter how ecstatic, is fleeting, while passion and love are lasting and fulfilling.

                                 https://youtu.be/nb7mr_G8eus?si=k2lx-yt4l3ry7Bsv

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[Sex & Xes] The danger of using adult products to overcome boredom or sexual dysfunction

 

When sex in a couple is not going well due to boredom or sexual dysfunction, some people may try to use sex toys as a way to restore sex in their relationship, but this is very dangerous and futile.

Women and men's xesminds work in opposite ways. Women only accept familiar sexual information that accords with their xes habits, and the more sexual information they have in their memory, the better their sexual performance becomes. Men only accept new sexual information that is not in their xes habits, and the more sexual information they have in their memory, the more sexual wounds they have, and the worse their sexual performance becomes.

As a married couple live together for a long period of time, the husband's sexual function gradually deteriorates as he accumulates new sexual information from daily life, and the sexual information that comes from his wife becomes so familiar that he no longer recognizes her sexually. On the other hand, most wives start out with relatively little sexual information and sexual function, and as they meet and have sex with their husbands, their sexual function gets better and better because they accumulate more and more familiar sexual information from their husbands.

What would happen if the husband starts looking for adult products to restore sex with his wife? During this search, he accumulates more and more new sexual information, and his sexual performance gets worse and worse. Meanwhile, the wife tries to stick to the familiarity of her xes habits, so she bounces from one sex toy to the next, saying "I don't like this one, I don't like that one," and so on.

However, during this process, the wife gradually accumulates sexual information regarding adult products, and before you know it, the wife's sexual performance improves as she becomes more familiar with the products. The problem here is that when a woman's sensory responses and her sexual performance improve, she begins to prioritize physical pleasure over feelings of love. Now, it may not have to be the person she loves or her husband, and it just has to be pleasure.

The husband may also be new to using adult products, so his sexual performance may initially improve as he perceives the new sexual information, but as he gets used to it, his sexual performance may deteriorate again, and he may eventually switch to seeking out other new sexual information, leading to the destruction of the relationship eventually.

So, you might be thinking, "Does this mean that we should just throw our hands up in the air when boredom or sexual dysfunction strikes?" Well, no, it doesn't, and it's really something to be celebrated that a couple doesn't give up on their relationship when boredom or sexual dysfunction occurs. That's why it's important to know how to rekindle the passion and love in a way that's satisfying and safe for both of you.

 First and foremost, you need to get back to being a man and a woman, not husband and wife, or dad and mom. You need to intentionally set aside time for just the two of you, and during that time, you should never think about your children. A lot of people say that you have to solve marital problems with having sex, but men and women who meet for the first time never start with having sex. You have to have conversations and talk about each other and your lives, but of course not as parents or as husband and wife. The conversation should always be about "me and you", just like it was when you were in a dating relationship. Of course, it's going to be very awkward and hard at first, so you have to be committed and make efforts for each other.

If you can do this, you'll start to feel passion and love for each other again, and sex will naturally follow. In fact, the sex will be even more flavored and ripe than when they were in a dating relationship. But there's another thing to keep in mind here. You shouldn’t focus only on the pleasures of ejaculation and orgasm in activating sexuality. In the healthy and happy sex life, the woman first enjoys the attention she receives from her partner and amplifies her feelings of love, and the man gets great satisfaction, excitement, and pleasure from watching her.

Thus, the process leading up to having sex is what's important: just wanting to touch the person you love, feeling good about touching them, and feeling excited and happy just fantasizing about sex is all part of the process. Penetration and ejaculation are only a small part of sexual actions; when you go traveling, everything you feel together in a new destination is sex, and every date you go on together is sex. That's the love, passion, and sex in a romantic relationship.

This is also women-centered sex. Women amplify the pleasure of sex into feelings of love, and the more you feel in love, the more satisfying and orgasmic the sex will be. But surprisingly, men also perform better when they have sex with the perspective of the mind with the passion to make their partners happy, rather than focusing on the pleasure of senses such as ejaculation and orgasm. In this situation, everything men do with their partners leads to men’s passion that they feel in their mind.

Couples who make the effort to overcome boredom, sexual dysfunction, and sexlessness should be cheered, but it's worth remembering that if you go about it the wrong way, it's often the cause of your relationship's demise, and it's usually due to a distorted perception of human sexuality.

                            https://youtu.be/jmOkSCLWOX8?si=SyhMaKENUXrJYoKi

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[Sex & Xes] The purpose of having sex

 

What is the purpose of sex? For men, it should be for the happiness of the woman they love, and for women it should be solely for the happiness of their own mind. This is the easiest and fastest way to restore the essence of sex, which has been distorted for quite a long time in the history of mankind. Of course, the moment you hear this, you may think it's nonsense, because your conventional wisdom and common sense will never allow you to understand what it means.

"A man should have sex for the happiness of the woman he loves, and a woman should have sex solely for her own happiness." This statement is a condensation of the Theory of Mimind and the Theory of Xesmind into a single phrase, and it actually requires an accurate understanding of the Theory of Mimind and the theory of Xesmind in order to understand what it means. But you don't need to know these theories in detail to apply the concept in your life.

There is an element in the above quote that applies to both men and women. It is  "women's happiness." and this has nothing to do with feminism at all. And another thing, when I say "happiness," I'm not referring to sexual happiness, such as orgasm or sexual satisfaction. I'm talking about the pure happiness of the mind that is created after sex with a loved one, using sex to energize the mind. Having sex is just an act that serves as a vehicle for mimind and xesmind to work.

When a man has sex to make the woman's life happy, not for his own pleasure and enjoyment or to see her sexual response, his own life becomes energized. When a man has sex with no thought other than the woman's happiness, he will never experience sexual dysfunction, no matter how old he gets. Sexual dysfunction is not an aging issue.

Women should not have sex for pleasure and fun, for sexual attention, or to please a man, but solely to create the energy of happiness in their own lives. When this is possible, the woman’s mind becomes impervious to wounds of mimind and can have tremendous self-healing power. When a woman is able to make herself happy, her partner is also able to make himself happy and live a life of lasting passion.

Animals mate only based on the instinct to reproduce, but humans activate sexuality to pursue self-actualization, searching for meaning and value in life. Having sex is just one of the means with which we generate energy to fulfill self-actualization, but these days, people rarely think of having sex as separate from pleasure or love. Human sexuality is supposed to work in accordance with the operation of human mind. The most important thing to keep in mind when having sex is that for men, it should be with the intention of making the woman they love and protect happy, and for women, it should be with the intention of making themselves happy.

                                  https://youtu.be/K773AwrJrHY?si=sl1u-rtIL7zcaoj6

                About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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[Sex & Xes] Men’s sexual desire

 

     Sexual desire is the desire for having sex, and this desire is a thought. A person's thoughts are shaped by the memories they have lived with since birth. Thoughts are never uniform, and they are unique to you, made up of your own memories.

     This is why the criteria for a need is never absolute: Other people may think that you have enough, but you may feel that you don't have it and you want more of it. Sexual desire is driven by a perceived lack or absence and excess sexual desire indicates that you have a problem with the operation of your sexuality.

     The way men and women experience sexual problems is a little different. For women, they have wounds in mimind, but they don’t develop wounds in xesmind. Women’s sexual problems they recognize in the conscious are actually problems that occur in their mimind related with wounds in mimind. So when women have wounds in mimind, they may develop sexual desire. The size of women’s sexual desire varies depending on the size of their wounds in mimind and women’s sexual desire is manifested as simply wanting comfort and attention or as wanting to have sex as a means of consolation.

     Men, on the other hand, experience xes wounds in their xesmind, and they don’t develop wounds in their mimind. Since the workings of xesmind are not directly recognized in the conscious like the workings of mimind, and because the workings of xesmind are only transmitted to the unconscious, men may have very strong sexual desires that they cannot explain.

If a man is directly and consciously aware of a sexual problem, such as sexual dysfunction, his sex drive becomes extremely strong. When sexual dysfunction occurs in men, the basic foundation for sexual achievement, which men consider to be so important, is broken, so they become very nervous and stressed, not only during having sex, but also in everyday life and work.

     As a result, their sexual desire becomes stronger in order to recover, and as their sexual desire becomes stronger, they gradually perceive most of what they perceive in their daily lives as sexual information, which leads to a vicious cycle of growing xes wounds and developing even more serious sexual dysfunction. Especially when they deliberately acquire all kinds of knowledge on sex in order to cure their sexual dysfunction, the more they learn, the worse their sexual performance becomes. It's like drinking salt water when you're thirsty, and the more you drink, the thirstier you become.  

     There is one distinction that needs to be made here. A common misconception is that young men have a strong passion for sex, but technically, this is not sexual desire. It's literally about being very healthy and full of enthusiasm in both body and mind. It's about having a very strong sense of pleasure from pursuing something, and sex is the most powerful means of pleasure that can utilize all of your senses, so it can be felt as having strong sexual desire. In fact, men tend to have stronger sexual desire as they get older and as they become more sexually experienced. This mechanism explains the phenomenon of older men being more prone to sexual transgressions.

     Sexual desire is a form of energy that seeks to fill a need for something that isn't there, which can be good or bad depending on how you harness it. Your sexual desire can be seen as an activation of energy in your mind to fulfill or achieve something, so if you use it for work, for example, you may be able to make a great achievement in your field. As I have mentioned earlier, desires are thoughts, and you can change what you focus on by changing your thoughts.

     To be able to do so, rather than debating the good and bad of sexual desire, it's important to clearly understand the mechanism by which sexual desire arises and develops further, and to avoid having a distorted notion of sexuality to ensure that they are not harmful to ourselves and others, and that they can be used to pursue happiness with a healthy mind and body.

                              https://youtu.be/R6llnTHQjK8?si=kOKqmZhybhE21Trx

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[Sex & Xes] The real reason women become sexless

 

It's common for women to lose their desire for sex after giving birth and during raising children. Many people say that this is because they're tired of parenting, or because sex is just not fun for them anymore. Of course, they are all legitimate reasons because that's how women feel in their conscious.

However, when you look at how xesmind works behind what the conscious recognizes, you'll find something interesting and surprising. Women make love and have sex to create meanings of life, which means that xesmind works to have mimind create meanings of life. That's why women are so active in having sex with men during the dating phase and even in the early days of marriage.

When a woman gives birth and raises a child, she develops the sense of  fulfillment in her life: she has a husband who she believes will never be separated from her, and she has a child born out of that loving relationship. That's when she changes from being a woman to being a wife and a mother.

From this point on, a realm of which she is not aware begins to operate in her  xesmind and the unconscious. In the operation of xesmind, a woman pursues the value of her sexuality. She tries to find a person who she can trust and share sexuality. When she can't find such a person, she feels lonely and wants to be in a relationship. Then, when she thinks she has found the person, she keeps confirming it through love and sex. Finally, when the person is confirmed and settled in her unconscious mind, her xesmind decides that she has achieved the value of sexuality and stops seeking it. Her mimind feels this as happiness and comfort in the conscious. This is the true cause of sexlessness in women.

On the other hand, the male xesmind works completely differently from the female xesmind: the male xesmind is focused on the present realization of sexuality. Men need to keep generating energy by activating sexuality in xesmind to be able to generate passion in mimind for the pursuit of future happiness and values of life. So when a man activates sexuality, it doesn't matter with whom he activates sexuality from the perspective of xesmind. It just matters to him that he activates sexuality at the present moment. It is like throwing coal into the stove to build up the energy of passion.

When the wife completes the value of sexuality and no longer needs sex, the husband may still seek to activate sexuality to be used as fuel for generating passion for life. Or, surprisingly, when the wife is no longer seeking the value of sexuality, that is, when she is in a relaxed state of mind, the husband may also stop thinking about activating sexuality with his wife. This is how human mimind and xesmind work, and this is why many couples end up living in sexlessness, which is only a natural phenomenon.

However, there is one thing that women should know. Happiness, once created, does not last forever until the day you die. Happiness may last for only a certain period of time, and it is fleeting and fades away as life's storms come and go, so you must constantly strive for your own happiness until the day you die.

When we feel stable and comfortable in the present, we think that this comfort will last forever. However, no one can guarantee that we will be comfortable and happy tomorrow because we are comfortable and happy today. This is why even women who have been living comfortably without having sex suddenly start to experience abnormal sexual desire when they experience traumatic stress, such as husband infidelity, bereavement, or other traumatic events. It's a phenomenon that occurs when a woman feels so much pain that she desperately wants to feel stable again, so her sexuality, which has been dormant, is strongly triggered to be activated again.

At some point, when sex becomes a distant or obligatory part of a couple's life, they have to start from scratch to rekindle their passion and love. So if you're still in a relationship in which you have passion, love, and sex, you both need to work to make sure you don't lose it. And if you're in a relationship where you've been sexless for a long time, you shouldn't rush into sex, but you should prepare little by little to have passion, love, and sex again. If you have sex before you're ready, and passion and love haven't been rekindled, it may not mean anything to you and may even serve to destroy your relationship.

Whatever the case may be, please, remember that a life with lasting love, passion, and sex in a couple creates the energy for overcoming adversity and, more importantly, the fuel for endless happiness.

                                   https://youtu.be/bp2wFgjYGls?si=9y99UMKh8KdjqtTS

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[Sex & Xes] A good sex or a bad sex

 

If you were to be asked the question, “What is good sex and what is bad sex?”, you would probably come up with your own definition of good and bad based on your own needs. For example, if you think of sex as a means of pleasure, you might think that sex that is pleasurable is good sex and sex that is not pleasurable is bad sex. If you think of sex as a means of love, you might think that sex where love is present is good sex and sex where love is absent is bad sex. Of course, this presupposes that the sex is mutually consensual, and a more antecedent notion might be that sex that is mutually consensual is good sex, and sex that is one-sided and forced by one person is bad sex. All of these judgments are valid in their own right, but there is a concept that underlies them all, and we must first determine what is good sex and what is bad sex based on that concept.

When you have sex, you are always activating moods and feelings, and the sexual information activates the energy of xesmind, and the energy from the xesmind feeds into mimind to maximize moods and feelings, which are much more intense than the moods and feelings you experience in your everyday life. Then, sex becomes the greatest resource of emotional energy that you have, and depending on how to use it, it can be the most beneficial resource or the most destructive.  

First, let’s look at good sex. For a man, sex is the source of the greatest passion in mimind. Compared with passion in general, passion created through sex is hundreds or thousands of times greater. It becomes a tremendous source that drives men to protect the people they love and to pursue their values in life. So for a man, good sex is sex that drives passion and the pursuit of values of life, and it is why some men are constantly looking for sex when their pursuit of values isn’t going well.

For women, sex is a source of amplifying feelings of love in mimind, so when a woman has sex that is  physically and emotionally safe, feelings of wounds are repaired and feelings are enriched. These enriched feelings strengthen her love again, and she shares them with the people she loves. This is what makes relationships happy.

A man is happy when he is passionately pursuing values of life and keeping the people he loves safe, and a woman is happy when she feels secure in the present moment while her feelings of love are maximized. Sex that creates happiness for a man and a woman is good sex.

Then, what is bad sex? Whether we like it or not, sex is one of the most powerful emotional energies we have, and when it serves to reinforce stress and wounds, it can lead to psychological problems and psychological disorders. For example, if you use sex as a way to escape or cover up stress and wounds, or to seek pleasure or comfort, you are having sex out of need, and the powerful energy generated by sex fuels your need, and the inability to satisfy your need actually magnifies your stress and wounds.  

Then, the powerful passion that sex creates in a man is directed toward the pursuit of sexual pleasure itself, which leads him to believe that nothing in his life is more important than having sex, and that if he doesn’t have sex, his life will fall apart. The same goes for a woman, who gets so caught up in the powerful feelings of love that sex creates in her that she attaches enormous significance to sex itself. She feels if she doesn’t have sex, she doesn’t love, and if she doesn’t have sex, her relationship with her partner is meaningless. If the mother in a family is in this state, the children are the ones who suffer the most from this. Since the children are not the object of sex for her, the mother feels that children don’t mean anything to her.  

The deeper this problem goes, the more men and women alike turn away from what is not pleasurable and live only for what is. However, pleasure is not happiness. Happiness requires the coexistence of all emotions including pleasure, joy, pain, and sorrow, and it is accompanied by not only right but also responsibility for one’s emotions. People who only seek pleasure become self-righteous and destroy relationships with other people. Therefore, good sex is sex that is not for pleasure and love as you feel in the conscious, but for the sake of creating happiness as a human being in relationships with other people. Please, remember that when you have sex keeping this concept in mind, both pleasure and love will follow naturally.

              https://youtu.be/WwKkQTsfZ6Q?si=WmFaJE-LZQAW1iNM

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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[Sex & Xes] Sex techniques

 

Diverse sex techniques that are supposed to improve physical sensations in having sex are promoted by many professionals. When you adopt such sex techniques in your sex life, you must aggregate and synthesize all the information and turn them into your own unique techniques since every individual has different preference and different physical and emotional conditions.  

Knowledge is necessarily different from practice in having sex. You must learn the available and relevant information, and then, you must put it into practice to see if it suits you and your partner. Of course, you must talk about the issue with your partner freely and frankly. It is also natural that it takes time for you and your partner to find the right techniques for both of you. You can just keep making efforts to find right techniques without feeling ashamed.  

Psychological factors are most important in having sex. Having sex excluding all psychological aspects is only boring and irksome toil. Then, you may become to endlessly wander about looking for new sex techniques and new partners to improve sexual sensations. It is not to say that new techniques and new partners are undesirable in any way, but having sex with a partner with whom you are in a stable and good relationship brings you the most sexual satisfaction with the highest level of efficiency.

You can maximize sexual sensations accompanied by psychological satisfaction by actively expressing what you like and putting it into actions in having sex. You can also freely  express how you feel and can be imaginative in taking sexual actions. You can add expressions of love and care on top of sexual expressions to increase passion and feelings of love that will amplify and elevate the level of sexual sensations.

When you can make good use of psychological factors in having sex, you need to make only half of physical efforts to achieve sexual satisfaction compared with conventional sex. People who have true sex ability by adopting the right concept of sexual satisfaction and putting it into practice in the right way never boast about their sex ability. Every individual is different in sexual preference, and one of the most important sex techniques is to figure out what makes the partner psychologically satisfied in having sex.

An example related with psychological aspects of sex is the size of the man’s penis. Most men and women have the idea that a big sized penis makes women more satisfied than a small sized penis. This idea prevails and affects people psychologically, which in turn affects their sexual sensations in having sex. Women may reach orgasm more easily when they have sex with a man with a big penis not because a big penis helps orgasm but because they believe so and they feel more aroused psychologically. Focusing too much on the size of the penis will only interrupt with sexual pleasure and sexual happiness.  

Ironically, men who have a big sized penis tend to be proud of themselves and may not make efforts to satisfy women adopting diverse sex techniques, which makes women partners less satisfied. Only those who continue making efforts for pleasurable sex regardless of the size of the penis or any specific sex technique can achieve sexual happiness in a true sense. The same applies to women who believe they have good physical appearance because they tend not to make efforts for sexual satisfaction for both themselves and their partners.

                        https://youtu.be/ZPoVZ887Mug

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[Sex & Xes] What women can do for pleasurable sex

 

Many women put other people at the center in their life instead of themselves and they are conscious of what others think than what they think. Especially in having sex, many women simply follow the lead of men with the concept of other-centeredness. They try to look good to their sex partners, they want to make their partners satisfied, they even fake orgasm, and so on and so forth.

When women don’t understand how they can be satisfied in having sex, their partners naturally have no idea about how to satisfy their women. Women usually just assume that they are supposed to feel satisfied as they follow the lead of men. As men lead women in having sex, couples get stuck in a rut and having sex becomes a dull and boring routine.

There are several things women can do to make sex much more pleasurable for both themselves and their partners. 1. Women must not be worried about their physical appearance. Most women are overly conscious about their physical appearance when they have sex with their partners. They are worried that they have small busts, they are fat, or their partners should not like their appearance. As women think they don’t look good, men also perceive so, and as women are confident of the physical appearance, men also perceive that women look good enough. They perceive that even the chubby belly and tiny busts are pretty and sexy.

2. Women must focus only on their own satisfaction. They should not worry about men partners’ satisfaction. Men feel satisfied when women are satisfied. 95 % of men’s sexual satisfaction comes from women partners’ satisfaction and only 5 % of men’s satisfaction comes from ejaculation.  

3. Women can have sexual pleasure in the whole process of sexual actions. Differently from men, women can feel orgasm like satisfaction from every sexual action they like. Thus, women should focus on their own sensations every moment during having sex. Many women are obsessive for reaching orgasm and they even fake orgasm. However, women have the ability to amplify physical sensations and turn them into feelings in mimind. Women can feel absolutely satisfied without reaching orgasm when the whole process of sexual actions is satisfactory. Being obsessive for orgasm and aiming for orgasm limits and diminishes women’s sexual satisfaction. 

4. Women should express themselves as they please in having sex without feeling ashamed. As women focus on their own sensations, they naturally become to react and respond to their sensations. They should freely express as they please, and then, men can use women’s responses as signs that lead their actions. As couples adopt the same old techniques they learned from who knows where, sex becomes dull and boring for both men and women. Women don’t understand about their own body and men only think about ejaculation. All sexual actions must be women-centered instead of being men-centered. Women who feel fully satisfied and happy in having sex regardless of their physical appearance are perceived as the prettiest and sexiest woman by men.

5. Women should freely imagine about diverse sexual actions as they please. Then, they can accumulate sexual information in their memory and improve sexual functions and they can have greater sexual sensations during having sex. However, they should never express what they imagine outwardly through facial expressions, speech, or actions.

6. Women should try to find sexually sensitive parts in their body. They can touch and caress their own body and find body parts where they feel good. Then, they can lead men to caress and touch those parts during having sex. This lifts burden from men who try to satisfy women and lets both men and women feel satisfied and happy.

7. Women should talk about frankly what they like in having sex to men partners. They may be worried about how they will be perceived, but most men welcome listening to what women think about sex and try to apply women’s ideas in real sexual actions. As couples talk freely about their sex life in detail, they can maintain a healthy and happy relationship along with sexual happiness. This way, both men and women can generate healthy energy for daily life and generate passion and love for a happy life.

                                             https://youtu.be/o8kYlW_8sMs

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[Sex & Xes] Do women need orgasm to be happy?

 

Many people show interest in women’s sexual happiness. They talk about sex techniques, orgasm, or surgeries for improving women’s sexual happiness. Unfortunately, all the conventional information and knowledge focus on the aspect of sexual pleasure itself.          

Especially, many people say women’s orgasm is important for sexual pleasure. They argue that orgasm lets women experience the utmost pleasure in sexual actions and every woman has to make effort to reach orgasm. They think women must have interest in sexual pleasure and be active and be leading in sexual actions. Women who do not pursue sexual pleasure and sexual happiness are considered to be passive in their life and old-fashioned.  

They think that the world of sexual pleasure is so good that women who do not pursue sexual pleasure are wasting their life. Of course, it is women themselves who must be the major agents in sexual actions to be in accordance with the operational mechanism of human mimind and xesmind. Also, it is absolutely true that sexual happiness reinforces happiness in mimind. However, sexual happiness is not a necessary condition for happiness in mimind.

Conventional concept of sexuality puts men at the center instead of women. Men centered sexuality focuses on pleasurable sensations on sensory organs. All the concepts that focus on physical aspects such as orgasm, ejaculation, and sex techniques are considered as men-centered concepts of sexuality. Women can transform such physical sensations and energy into feelings of happiness, but pleasurable sex gives you positive moods only temporarily and it is not sexual happiness in and of itself. It is only a small part of sexual happiness.

This mechanism explains why women in general don’t consider sexual actions to be important. Women put much more importance on positive feelings than on positive moods or pleasurable sensations. When women have great wounds and lack positive feelings in their mimind and feel unstable, they try to compensate for their negative feelings by having sexual pleasure. As they get themselves immersed into sexual pleasure more and more, they end up pursuing intense positive moods from sexual pleasure disregarding feelings of love and happiness. These women usually promote the importance of orgasm as well as women’s sexual pleasure as a necessary condition for happiness. In other words, such women are considered to have great wounds in their mimind.

When women feel happy and comfortable with stable psychology, they don’t think much about having sex or sexual pleasure. Women’s xesmind is activated when women have wounds to be treated. Xesmind doesn’t have to be activated when women have comfort and happiness. Women who do not show much interest in having sex are not necessarily passive, conservative, or boring people.  

It is also true that women can generate even greater happiness when they activate sexuality with woman-centeredness on top of the existing comfort and happiness. Woman-centered sex doesn’t mean that women have to lead men in having sex or pursue their own sexual pleasure for positive moods. It means that sexual actions should focus on women’s feelings instead of pleasurable sensations on sensory organs. Woman-centered sexual actions give greater happiness to both men and women then man-centered sexual actions.  

People who promote the importance of women’s orgasm and sex techniques don’t seem to understand the underlying mechanism of human sexuality. Every human being likes the pleasurable sensations and orgasm from having sex, but women don’t have to deliberately try to reach orgasm every time they have sex to feel happy. Adopting the concept of woman-centered sexuality will naturally lead to sexual pleasure.

Women can live happily without having sex if they don’t want to have sex. They can live happily without having a man partner. Happiness is not related with having sex at all. Women can generate great happiness through having sex if they activate sexuality in the right way and they can live happily without having sex at all. Please, remember that sexual actions are means but not ends.

https://youtu.be/6Q8stjg9baM?si=y6xJmt4XVvVe6QhN

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Sex & Xes] Sexual actions don’t carry any meaning in and of themselves.

 

Having sex can be viewed and interpreted from many different perspectives with meanings put to it, but it is just one of many actions humans take. Sexual actions don’t carry any meaning in themselves, but we put many different meanings to sexual actions associating them with emotions, relationships, values, and purposes. Sexual actions cannot be good or bad or right or wrong in and of themselves, but we humans put all kinds of meanings to sexual actions and create infinite number of categories of sexual actions. Contrasting and controversial positions about sexuality that lead to heated debates never seem to end in most societies.

     Meanings that are put to sexual actions can be different depending on individuals’ thoughts and emotions based on social customs and norms. We naturally think that sexual actions that don’t accord with our thoughts and emotions are wrong.

If there is a group of people who do not relate sexual actions with emotions, relationships, values, and purposes, sexual actions including even the most perverted forms will not cause emotional, relational, or social problems in people within the group. On the other hand, there can be a group of people who try to promote or force certain sexual actions that accord with their own ideas. In this case, what they are trying to promote or force onto other people is not certain forms of sexual actions but meanings that are connected with the specific forms of sexual actions. Of course, their attempt to promote or force certain sexual actions related with certain ideas will cause controversy and conflicts in the society since it contradicts other people’s ideas on sexuality. They may still justify their idea thinking that only their idea about sexuality is the right one even when most other people disagree.

Diverse forms of sexual actions people are taking currently are given all different kinds of meanings and are associated with distorted ideas causing controversies and conflicts. Different positions are taken regarding sexuality from all different perspectives based on religious, philosophical, social, cultural, and individual stances.

Meanings put to sexual actions associated with emotions, relationships, values, and purposes greatly affect individuals’ life and the society. As meanings of sexual actions associated with emotions, relationships, values, and purposes are distorted, one’s life itself becomes distorted and destroyed as well as the life of people around the person.  

Sexual actions have us generate powerful energy and we use the energy to pursue meanings and values of life. You can accept or reject any sexual action with your own will as far as your sexual actions don’t damage yourself and other people psychologically, physically, or in any other possible way. Connecting sexual actions with emotions, relationships, values, and purposes in distorted ways cause psychological problems in many people. The adverse effects keep being reinforced as the connection between distorted meanings and sexual actions gets stronger.

            https://youtu.be/-v3bBKUGW3Q?si=nMjcOqFmxa8fh2We

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/