Korea Institute of Psycho-education

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Mother Therapy] The role of social media in parenting

Social media can provide sources of information in many different matters, one of which is parenting. Many parents refer to information provided in social media to adopt right parenting methods. In the past, parents had to seek most advice on parenting from other people, books, or lectures, but these days, social media offer easier and quicker ways of getting ideas and advice. You can simply search social media for any topic you are interested in to get diverse and detailed information.

One thing to keep in mind in this process is that information you get from social media is only a piece of information, which may or may not suit you and your child. Actually, it is highly unlikely for such information to offer effective and suitable parenting method for you. To make matters worse, it may lead you to think that your child has some problems when you don’t get the result you wanted by adopting some parenting methods you found in social media. This happens especially when parents don’t have their own healthy standards in parenting.

You will have healthy standards of parenting when you accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychological development of children. Then, you can build your own parenting methods referring to all the information available in social media. Adopting the available information and advice as it is without adjusting it to the situation you and your child are in can be compared to trying to put on clothes you can’t fit into. Every parent and every child are unique and every situation is different. Adopting information and advice in social media without considering individual differences will only cause or aggravate problems.

You must be the composer and the conductor who has a clear standard on rearing your child. Of course, you can refer to information available in social media, but you must customize them to suit you and your child. You must never focus on addressing the visible individual problems in parenting. You must always have a broad perspective with the right standards and build your own parenting strategies.

https://youtu.be/Dtc3a5x1AzE?si=kN4hcjevFSnU00lU

https://youtu.be/lFud6iDd4ko?si=u29ZS9xtlw4PSoUt

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Mother Therapy] Finding aptitude and choosing career path

Have you had your children take the aptitude test to help them choose their career path? Many parents want to help their teenage children to find their aptitude, potentials, and choose their career path by having them taking the aptitude test. However, there can be many different ways to interpret the result of the aptitude test and both parents and children may feel they are still confused about what to do with the result of the test.
Teenagers are in the process of forming their identity and their own thought standards. It is only natural that they don’t know what they like and what they are good at. They don’t know what type of self-actualization they will pursue as adults, and they need to keep experiencing many things and keep making trials and errors to find their aptitude.

It takes time and diverse experiences to find aptitude. They may need several years to find it and eventually decide on what they want to do as adults. They are in the process of preparing for the phase of self-actualization. Some adults wander about still not knowing what they like and what they are good at and go over the process of looking for their aptitude all over again.
As teenagers are encouraged to keep trying different things and making trials and errors under the protection of the society and the family, they will be naturally guided to something they like and are good at. Taking the aptitude test may help you understand your child’s current state, but you cannot find your aptitude and choose the career path based on one test.

Teenagers need to take charge of finding their aptitude and choosing their career path. They can follow parents’ and teachers’ guidance but any decision should be based on their own will. Making reference to adults’ opinions will help them think more broadly since adults have much more experiences in life.
Teenagers are in the preparation stage for the phase of self-actualization they will enter in the future as adults. They should keep looking for what they like and what they are good at. Parents should also know what their children like and what they are good at. Parents can guide their children by providing resources and knowledge instead of finding aptitude and choosing the career path for them. To be able to do that, parents must accurately understand children’s psychological development and adopt right parenting strategies.
https://youtu.be/aDB-Z3A5xdI?si=qlWfPAkjgWlNzJwN

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3/11/2024

[Mother Therapy] Children need to learn both competition and cooperation.

A field day or a sports day is an exciting event like a festival for most children and parents. However, some children may feel they don’t want to participate because they are not good at sports and they don’t like being in competition with others. Being considerate of such children, some schools organize the field day with less competitive sports and emphasize cooperation over competition.

An example is the relay race. It is a highly popular sport where players need both the spirit of cooperation and competition. It used to be highlighted as the most exciting sport on the field day and the best runners were chosen to represent each group. Viewers would cheer with all their might and express disappointment and joy according to the result.

Unfortunately, some schools have excluded the relay race claiming that it causes too much stress and anxiety in students. They think that cooperation is more important than competition, but emphasizing cooperation over competition lowers motivation and enthusiasm for participation. Also. Students lose the opportunity to learn how to respect other competitors when they win or lose.

Discouraging competition and encouraging only cooperation in children’s life may have unexpected adverse effects by depriving them of opportunity to experience diverse circumstances and learn how to deal with them. Children must make trials and errors through as diverse experiences as possible under the protection of family and society to form healthy psychology. Parents and teachers must accurately understand psychological development of children and provide safe environment.

https://youtu.be/HFZa4PdwDxM?si=B_NKyOz-fpLL7NXB

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

3/06/2024

[Sex & Xes] My friend and my girlfriend are seeing each other.

Hello, everyone. Today I will fact-check on the situation where a man’s friend and the man’s girlfriend have developed a romantic relationship. The three of them would hang out together often, but the man never doubted his friend and his girlfriend would develop a relationship. One day, he had an argument with his girlfriend and she began to avoid seeing him since then. After some time, he finds out that his friend and his girlfriend have been seeing each other.

The man can’t figure out how it has happened. He thinks that he shouldn’t have introduced them to each other in the first place. However, the problem started not when they were introduced to each other, but when the man and his girlfriend had an argument. They didn’t fall in love when they first met as the man’s friend and his girlfriend. It is nothing like they were meant for each other or anything like that. It is more about how human psychology and sexuality work. This kind of phenomenon happens often around us.

Firstly, a man perceives his friend’s girlfriend as xes information as he does all other unrelated women. It doesn’t mean that he would think about going out with the woman betraying his friend at all. Men who have psychological problems would do so, but a normal man respects the relationship between his friend and his friend’s girlfriend. However, his xes psychology is activated when they hang out together with them, which makes him feel good.

The woman also perceives her boyfriend’s friend as xes information and feels uncomfortable and awkward at first. Normal women refuse to accept new xes information. She keeps her boyfriend at the center of her emotions and she doesn’t think much of her boyfriend’s friend. However, as the three people get together often, the woman perceives her boyfriend’s friend as familiar xes information more and more. Moreover, she thinks that he is just her boyfriend’s friend and lowers her guard against him and become defenseless.

When she has arguments with her boyfriend, she may talk with his friend about the matters. In this process, the woman makes expressions of her wounds and, surprisingly, the man begins to activate sexuality upon her expressions of wounds. He may begin to provide her with attention and consolation and try to solve problems for her. There are not many things he can do to solve problems in this situation. She is his friend’s girlfriend after all.

As the woman gets attention and consolation from the man repeatedly, she also begins to activate sexuality in the relationship with her boyfriend’s friend. It must be clearly understood that women’s expressions of wounds and men’s attention and consolation lead to the activation of sexuality. What would happen when women’s expressions of wounds and men’s attention and consolation are repeated? Yes, they develop feelings toward each other without even understanding why they feel that way.

Suppose that one day the couple had an argument and the woman and the man friend had a talk and a drink together, with the woman expressing her wounds from her argument with her boyfriend and the man providing her with sincere attention and consolation. They usually end up having sex with each other that night.

You may feel sorry for her boyfriend and think that you will never introduce your girlfriend to any of your friend. You don’t have to worry about it at all. It is only natural couples have arguments and friends hang out with couples. You just have to keep in mind that the woman must express her wounds only to her boyfriend and the boyfriend has to provide her with attention and consolation as much as possible. Then, their relationship becomes more solid.

The operation of human xesmind and sexuality lies beyond the realm of human consciousness. You must accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mimind and xesmind to avoid undesirable or dangerous circumstances in relationships with other people. Then, you can protect yourself and other people and establish healthy and happy relationships.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

3/04/2024

[Mother Therapy] A necessary phase of development: Adolescence

Many parents experience difficulties in raising teenagers. They may feel as if every day were like a battle, as if they were stepping on thin ice or they were swimming in a chaotic sea. Parents who have younger children may fear the future when their own children will become teenagers listening to other parents who have teenage children. The teenage years are even called the stormy period of adolescence.

It is understandable that parents of teenage children go through a difficult time, but you should also understand that teenagers go through a difficult time making trials and errors and figuring out about their identity and their own thought standards. Teenage years can be difficult time for both parents and children but it is a necessary and crucial phase of psychological development of children. Both parents and children can take advantage of this period as an opportunity to work for growth and development.

You may feel bewildered or lost upon facing your children’s unexpected responses and behaviors. However, you can change your perspective on the period of adolescence and provide support and safe environment for teenagers to explore and grow in. Teenagers usually want attention from parents but they don’t want parents to meddle with what they do since they are trying to build their own thought standards through their own experience and knowledge.

When parents accurately understand the psychological development of children and adopt right parenting strategies, both parents and children can become happy, sharing every moment of children’s growth period without developing conflicts. Such parents know that teenage children’s trials and errors are necessary part of their psychological development, and can provide the right kind of help and advice without being worried or anxious. Then, teenagers can also become happy and grow and flourish in the safe environment.

https://youtu.be/l2_1LUFzM3w?si=rAyNzGwfIEeqJHsv

https://youtu.be/OV3oIc1CDg8?si=90bl40_ogPpg_oCO

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Sex & Xes] Setting limits on sexual pleasure #1 : Men’s standards & women’s feelings

Conventional concepts of sexuality set limits on the scope and depth of sexual pleasure. Today, the most typical factors are discussed, which are men’s standards for sexual pleasure in having sex and women’s feelings regarding sexuality and having sex.

All men have their own standards regarding sexuality. These standards are formed and maintained in order to satisfy men’s sexual desire. For example, if a man has a strong idea that a full bust arouses him sexually, he is likely to be aroused and satisfied only when a woman has a full bust. Then, this man may have less sexual pleasure from having sex with a woman who doesn’t have a full bust, or he may exclude women who don’t have a full bust from his prospective sex partners. Having strong preferences or standards about sexuality leads men to develop sexual dysfunctions.

Men’s standards regarding sexuality based on their own sexual desire are the biggest contributor to setting limits on their sex ability and sexual pleasure. In other words, men can enter the world of limitless sexual pleasure only when they discard their own standards based on sexual desire.

Men’s sexual functions can also be maximized only when they are free from sexual desire and specific standards regarding sexuality. It means that men can comply with any woman who they choose to love and protect to achieve sexual happiness in the relationship. In this condition, men’s sexual functions are controlled not by themselves but by the woman partner in the way the woman wants.

Many men and women misunderstand that women’s sexual pleasure is less than men’s sexual pleasure in its scope and depth. It is because the distorted concept of sexuality has been formed and maintained for such a long time in history, with men at the center instead of women. The most basic distortion is the belief that men’s sexual pleasure starts from sexual desire.

Women’s sexual pleasure is greater in its scope and depth than men’s sexual pleasure by nature. Women’s sexual pleasure doesn’t even end with reaching orgasm. To put it more accurately, the idea of ending doesn’t apply to women’s sexual pleasure. The idea that having sex ends with men’s ejaculation is completely men-centered and absolutely limiting. The idea that penetration and ejaculation are major parts of having sex also sets limits on the scope and depth of sexual pleasure and on men’s sexual functions. Men’s sexual pleasure and sexual functions can become limitless only when women’s sexual pleasure becomes the standard in having sex.

Then, what about women’s feelings regarding sexuality as an important factor that sets limits on sexual pleasure. Women’s feelings regarding sexuality sets limits on sexual pleasure even more than men’s standards regarding sexuality based on sexual desire. Women’s feelings regarding sexuality and having sex plays the role of protecting women by limiting the sex partner to a man toward whom women have positive feelings, that is, a man who they can have sex without damaging their emotions. However, women often activate this safety measures against men who love and protect them.

Women usually block the activation of sexuality against the counterparty toward whom they have negative feelings. Or they activate sexuality to compensate for their negative feelings. It indicates that for women, sexuality is only a means for managing their feelings. Women feel that they don’t need to activate sexuality when their desire for attention is satisfied, or they cannot proceed naturally in having sex by the operation of the sense of shame or repulsion.

As a result, having sex may actually make women’s feelings even more negative, the whole situation may lead women to limit their sexual actions making it hard for men sex partners to find women’s responses for them to act upon. Then, men cannot but lead the whole situation and their sex life becomes men-centered. Now, men cannot but adopt and follow their own standards and knowledge on sexuality, which naturally focuses on penetration and ejaculation, entering the vicious cycle. It is as if women lead men to set limits on the scope and depth of sexual pleasure.

It doesn’t mean that women need to have sex with any man without involving feelings. The sex partner must be someone who has healthy body and mind, and someone with whom you can have sex in a safe environment, and this applies to both men and women. Especially in case of women, they should be safe physically when having sex, and their sex partners must be men who protect their body, mind, sexuality, human relationships, and even financial values. When all the above conditions are met, women must separate all her feelings from sexuality and having sex, and must enjoy making sexual expressions as much as possible. Women should focus only on themselves when having sex and should never try to comply with men or limit themselves.

Thus, when men’s standards and women’s feelings on sexuality as well as selfish purposes are excluded in having sex, couples can experience a new and much higher level of sexual pleasure that is completely different from what is known. To be able to do that, men must discard sexual desire to erase standards on sexuality, and women must build habits for separating sexuality and feelings to erase feelings on sexuality. It may not be easy but you can definitely achieve the goal by adopting the right method and making efforts.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

2/28/2024

[Mother Therapy] Different positions of adults and teenagers

Many teenagers think that adults don’t understand them and adults say that they can’t understand teenagers. Why would adults and teenagers have different positions in so many matters? The biggest difference between adults and teenagers is that adults have already established their thought standards and self-identity and teenagers are still in the process of forming thought standards and self-identity. Their psychology is developing and their habits are being formed. They have to go through diverse trials and errors before they fully establish their thought standards and self-identity.

A 15 year-old boy has the experience and knowledge he has accumulated for 15 years. He is forming his self-identity and thought standards through each direct and indirect experience making what he likes and what he doesn’t and what is right and what is wrong clear every day. On the other hand, adults have more experience and knowledge and have already established self-identity and clear thoughts standards. They have their own way of thinking and what they accept as common sense as well as their own rules of life. They may take many things for granted with established thought standards and it is hard to think differently from their thought standards. They are likely to try to stick to their standards in interacting with other people.

Both teenagers and adults get stress and wounds when their thought standards are not met and equally feel they can’t understand the counterparty. Adults may think that they are guiding teenagers with earnest and caring mind, but teenagers may feel that they are forced to think and act differently from their own thought standards, which may lead to conflicts between adults and teenagers.

Adults must understand that teenagers are still in the process of development and they are forming self-identity and thought standards making trials and errors, which may look clumsy and irrational to adults’ eyes. Adults must try to provide teenagers with safe environments where they can explore and try as many things as possible to build healthy psychology. Teenagers must understand that adults and teenagers are different and anyone can have stress and wounds when their thought standards are violated.

https://youtu.be/0vdSH13kTWY?si=DaQcYowwygP63Xie

https://youtu.be/d2lB0KLSn14?si=D5cxQHYnP7vqtngw

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Sex & Xes] Living in the animal world

When you learn about the operational mechanism of human sexuality and build true sex ability, you will see the fundamental factors that lie underneath the visible phenomena regarding sexuality. You will see how naive and destructive people can be activating sexuality in distorted ways. You will also see how people end up paying for their ignorance and distorted ideas.

In a world where sexuality is viewed from the perspective of sexual pleasure and where sexuality is considered to be closely connected with love at the same time, men are likely to generate negative xes energy and reinforce stress and sexual desire and women are likely to generate negative xes energy and reinforce the desire for love and attention.

They may live with psychological problems or psychological disorders depending on levels of wounds and stress and the degree of distortion of ideas. Men and women who don’t have true sex ability only aggravate their physical and psychological conditions as they continue activating sexuality. They cannot but keep going away from generating pure passion, love, and happiness by generating positive xes energy and their body and mind keep deteriorating.

Then, women try to appeal their sexual attractiveness and do their best to become men’s sexual objects based on their desire to get attention and consolation. They never imagine that such behaviors induce wounds in their mind and destroy their body. Men encourage women to appeal sexual attractiveness and look for women who activate sexuality based on wounds in mimind. Then men develop sexual dysfunctions and lose true sex ability in spite of themselves. Both men and women falsely believe that they are going in the right direction because they recognize pleasure and love in the conscious when activating sexuality in distorted ways.

Sadly enough, most conventional knowledge and information lead us to generate negative xes energy and destroy our body and mind. Our mind will try to compensate for what we have destroyed and lost, but all our expressions and actions based on wounds and stress in mimind, which is manifested as sexual desire, activate sexuality in distorted ways.

Having a small talk with men and women who have strong negative xes energy can be compared to having sex with them. The operations of xesmind and mimnd in actual sexual actions and in having a small talk based on strong sexual desire are the same. This phenomenon occurs in our daily life, so men and women who know about the operational mechanism of human sexuality and have true sex ability may feel that they are in the animal world instead of the human world.

You may have to live as an animal who only follows sexual desire instead of a human being as you keep activating sexuality based on stress and wounds and the desire for attention and consolation, not even knowing what is wrong and what is right. Your level of education or intelligence may not be a factor in this condition since you have already developed a psychological disorder with which you justify all your thoughts and behaviors. Furthermore, xesmind cannot be controlled by the conscious after all.

Men can build true sex ability through Sex Therapy for Men, and women can build true sex ability through Sex Ability Training for Women. It is hoped that you will leave the animal world as soon as possible, protect yourself, and generate pure passion, love and happiness as well as sexual happiness by building true sex ability.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

2/21/2024

[Mother Therapy] Young children who refuse to go to school

What can you do when your seven or eight year-old child plays well at home, but refuses to go to school saying school is no fun. You sure must feel worried and anxious not knowing what to do. If you ask her why she doesn’t go to school, she may say she doesn’t like her teacher or friends, or say it’s just no fun.

Children in the ages from 5 to 12 are in the phase of adaptation to relationships. They act and react differently based on their perception of individual relationships. They feel the most difficulty when they find adapting themselves to relationships. Especially, younger children from the age of 5 to 8 may feel that school life is difficult because they don’t have good relationships with teachers and friends. In this situation, parents must try to help children form and maintain good relationships with teachers and friends instead of trying to find problems elsewhere, such as the child’s psychological condition itself or the teacher’s personality.

You should never approach the issue in the same way as you deal with problems of teenagers or adults, who act and react based on their own thought standards in a rational way. You should never say to a 7 year-old boy, “You must understand that home and school are different. You must follow the rules at school and listen to your teacher.” The boy may vaguely understand what the parent says, but he will keep feeling nervous and anxious at school since he doesn’t have good relationships with people at school.

You must never blame the teachers or other people, either. When your child says, “My teacher doesn’t like me. He always scolds me,” you shouldn’t say, “You teacher is weird. Why does he always scold you? He is not a good teacher.” You must figure out exactly what is going on instead of responding only based on your child’s argument. You may first contact the teacher and learn what the problem can be. Parents and teachers must work together to help children form and maintain healthy relationships with people they meet until they fully develop skills to manage relationships with diverse types of people on their own.

The prerequisite condition is for parents to have healthy and stable psychology in this process. Then, they must accurately understand the psychological development of children and adopt the right parenting strategies. As children are guided in the right direction at home and at school, children will find school fun in no time and enjoy meeting teachers and friends at school every day.

https://youtu.be/ObUcQrPAvPo?si=WbkBlywhOSM95-Do