Korea Institute of Psycho-education

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

7/06/2024

[Mother Therapy] You think, "I shouldn't be doing this," but you're doing it anyway.

You may think, "I'm not going to watch shorts" or "I'm not going to drink coffee," but you're watching shorts and drinking coffee again and again? How nice would it be if you could say, "I shouldn't do it," and then actually not do it. Is it because you have weak willpower that you end up doing more of what you shouldn't do? Or is it because there's something else going on? It's been shown that when you think you shouldn't do something, the thought of not doing it stays in your head, making it more likely that you'll act on it. So if you're constantly thinking, "I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't do that," you're creating an environment where you can't help but act on it.

So what can you do about it? Well, if there's a habit that you want to avoid, you can do something that you can replace it with, and one of the things that we talked about earlier is thinking about what you can replace it with, like, "I don't want to have coffee this evening," and you can have a warm glass of water or a decaffeinated beverage, or you can read a book, which is a completely different activity, and you can do that, and then you're not only practicing not having coffee in the evening, but also you're not waking up in the middle of the night because you didn’t have coffee, which is good for your sleep. In this way, you're doing what you've substituted for what you shouldn't be doing, and you're getting a lot of side benefits.

You can apply this to create good habits that you've always wanted to create. If you've been struggling with a lot of negative thinking, you can do something to replace it when you have a negative thought. Instead of trying to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, you can just do something to replace it, like doing some light stretching or going for a walk. This will have the effect of stopping the negative thought, but it will also have the effect of stabilizing your psychology as it shifts to a different expression. It won't happen right away, but if you stick with it, you'll build your own healing power, so if you're always telling yourself you're not going to do something, but you find yourself slipping, give this a try.

https://youtu.be/67sUN6gvkGM?si=dOVLw3ACJmFEtDtP

https://youtu.be/o3bKd7l6LNM?si=I6t93J2fAhMRC_xY

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

7/03/2024

[Sex & Xes] Couples who want to explore threesomes, swapping, or group sex.

If you're a couple who wants to explore different types of sex, such as threesomes, swapping, and group sex, but are inexperienced, this video is for you. Sharing and enjoying sex with other people is a risky endeavor, and there's a lot to be careful about and consider, so it's actually best to consult with a sexologist to find the right path for you.

If you just want to share sex with others simply to satisfy your curiosity and desire for greater pleasure, you need to keep in mind that it only takes one try to shatter your marriage and couple relationship because while sex is not the only thing a couple lives for, it is the cornerstone of how you build your relationship.

When you don't know how to use sex as a tool for your happiness, and you make the mistake of taking away your own cornerstone and giving it to someone else, you're tearing your relationship apart. Unfortunately, most people end up destroying themselves and their homes when they try threesomes, swapping, group sex, etc. without knowing how and why.

If you don't fit the description of what I'm about to tell you, you should leave sex with a variety of people only as a sexual fantasy, and focus on sex with your own partner. Usually, when our minds are tilted in the direction of pleasure-seeking, we easily rationalize that "I'll never get in trouble" or "we're all so ready for that," but there's no way back once you've lost everything, so you need to take a good look at your condition to the last minute before the decision.

First, when a couple wants to have sex with someone else, it's usually the husband who convinces his wife to do so, often rationalizing that "it would be good for her to have sex with someone else too" in order to pursue his own sexual fantasies, but the truth is that wives feel the happiest and the most fulfilled in intimate sex with their husbands rather than with someone else.

When considering sex with others, the husband needs to completely put aside his own sex fantasies, his own sexual pleasure, his own sexual performance, etc. and focus solely on what makes his wife happy. He should only look out for and protect his wife before, during, and after sex, and never forget that all sexual actions are being done for her happiness, not his.

And the wife shouldn't think of the other people she's having sex with as human beings - they're just aids to help her and her husband have sex, which means she shouldn't feel any human-to-human feelings for them.

And one thing that should precede all of this is, without a doubt, safety. You need to be physically and psychologically safe, and even if you and your partner are safe people, there's a very good chance that the other people you're having sex with are not. People who participate for the sake of pleasure are either already being sexually taken advantage of, or they're taking advantage of others, and they have no one else in mind but their own pleasure.

This absolute standard is a necessary component for having multi-party sex, and the vast majority of husbands and wives will not meet it. If you think it's easy, you're likely to be doing a lot of arbitrary interpretation to achieve your own sexual pleasure.

If you're ready for all of this, then there are a couple of things you need to keep in mind when it comes to practice. First, if you think of the people you're having sex with as human beings, and if you meet the other people without your partner, your relationship with your partner is over, so you should always meet together, have sex together, and go home together. Second, it is very important to have climax with your partner.

Third, couples should always check their condition and be careful not to develop problems. The effect of the sexual act is so powerful that even a small ember of vague concern can turn into a firestorm in an instant. Couples should always make it clear that they can stop whenever they feel something is getting out of line, and of course, the other partner should embrace it and work toward recovery. If things aren't working out, it's important to consult a sex therapist as soon as possible, rather than dragging your feet and trying to recover on your own.

In addition, there should be very specific and strict rules for couples to enjoy sex with others. This is because sex with others is a blank slate and risks becoming an affair, and their happiness can be completely skewed without them even realizing they have a problem. And then, you get the idea that you can have sex with anyone who isn't your spouse in the future, and then with anyone who isn't part of that group, and then with anyone in the world, and you go through life thinking nothing is wrong with that idea. Of course, your relationship with your spouse has long been destroyed.

Unless you accurately understand the true nature and mechanism of sexuality, your good intention to get involved in having sex with others is in vain because sexuality is not something that can be controlled by consciousness. So, before you even consider multi-party sex, your first priority should be to make sex between just the two of you the most passionate, pleasurable, and blissful it can be. If you just know how, you can realize most of your sex fantasies with just the two of you and enjoy sexual happiness like never before. Also, please, remember that not taking responsibility for the sex you choose is a sex crime.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

6/27/2024

[Sex & Xes] Women Who Like Sex Vs. Women Who Don’t

Today, we're going to look at the underlying causes of the phenomenon in which some women like sex and others don't like sex. First of all, whether you like sex or don't like sex is an emotion - it's how your mind feels about the sexual information that comes in through your sensory organs.

Before we get into that, it's important to note that liking sex doesn't necessarily mean that you have a high sex drive. A woman with a high sex drive will have constant thoughts of sex and a desire to have sex, but liking sex means that even if you don't normally have thoughts of sex and don't have a desire, you don't think negatively about sex, and you feel positive about the sensations and feelings when you have sex.

Women who like sex are considered to have a highly developed sensory systems. This means that they have sensitive sensory systems that come into play when they have sex. But these sensory systems are not selectively enhanced only when they have sex. They are actually sensitive across the board. Their sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste all take in more information in a more subtle way than the average woman.

But what happens when this perceived information makes them feel uncomfortable? That means you're more stressed and overwhelmed than the average woman. So if you're a sex-loving woman, it's important to keep your senses as positive as possible, even outside of sex. You need to make an effort to see and hear nice things, and eat good foods whenever possible.

Now, does this mean that women who dislike sex have dull sensory systems and poor sexual functioning? No. If they had dull sensory systems and poor sexual functioning, they would not either like or dislike sex. Then, why do some women dislike sex? It's because the perception of sex in their sensory organs is connected to psychological wounds. Actually, it's more likely that they have developed sensory systems like women who like sex, but the information of sex that they receive so sensitively is connected to psychological wounds, and they feel displeased instead of pleased.

Women who are overly averse to sex, for whatever reason, have deep wounds at play, and a strong desire to repair it, so they have a strong desire to avoid the perception of sexual information in their sensory organs, and to entertain their sensory organs with something else. For example, overly indulging in going to restaurants, listening to ASMR, shopping, traveling, or working hard to improve appearance are all that come from the desire to please the senses. And the root cause is deep psychological wounds that are operating in the unconscious. In cases like this, along with healing the wounds, they need to practice transforming their ideas and values about sex.

Women who like sex and women who don’t are the most different in how their minds work. It's worth noting that sexual desire is not a matter of the sensory systems themselves, so we shouldn't associate liking or disliking sex with sexual desire.

https://youtu.be/5-3Hq-Oo82k?si=kOvB8ADSXFG8iumi

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Mother Therapy] Should I do what I like or what I’m good at?

When we talk about our children's career paths, we often wonder whether they should choose what they're good at or what they like. Someone may say, “You should do what you like, no matter what, because that's what makes you happy!!! It's stressful to do something you don't like.” Someone else may say, "No, no, no. Doing what you like is too idealistic, and it's not realistic to just pick something you like and stick with it without financial backing. Choose what you're good at first, so you can become financially independent, and do what you like later, it's never too late.”

Both make sense. If you keep doing what you like, it may become what you're good at, or if you keep doing what you are good at, you may become to like it. Am I saying that either choice is fine, whether it's something you're good at or something you like? Yes.

It doesn't matter if you choose what you're good at or what you like or whatever, as far as you're making your own choices and you're taking responsibility for them. Then, you are more willing to take responsibility for what you're doing, and you are more passionate and more fulfilled. And even if something bad happens on the way, you are more likely to overcome it well because you don’t blame someone else and you motivate yourself to take responsibility.

In fact, autonomy is associated with higher career success. In the process of pioneering a career, you will encounter various situations, and people who make their own choices are more likely to face them and overcome difficulties instead of avoiding them. It is important to know what you are good at and what you like, but it is more important to make your own choices and take responsibility for them.

The role of parents, then, is not to choose for them, but to be interested in them, but not to interfere and control them, and to create an environment where they can make their own choices and take responsibility for them. Then, as they experience making small choices and taking responsibility for themselves in their daily lives, this will accumulate and give them the strength to make choices and move forward in their careers.

At the end of the day, circumstances and environments can change the choices you make, and whether you choose to do something you like or something you're good at, if you choose to do it and take responsibility for it, you will make it a good choice. And this is true for all of us, by the way, not just our kids.

https://youtu.be/bYkc6gXsHps?si=SUi6BO8zdHpEehia

https://youtu.be/wtyd5nIhotA?si=K3voRbO8GKXVWa5c

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Mother Therapy] Threatening your child as a parenting method

Have you ever threatened your children? Threatening is the use of fear and pressure to force someone to do something, which is why it's one of the easiest ways to get them to do what you want them to do.

"If you don't do this now, you'll get into trouble," or "If you do this, I'm not going to help you with anything anymore." If your child is young, usually in the lower elementary grades or younger, they feel scared and insecure, like they're really going to be that way or that their mom won't like them if they don't do it, so they'll do what you want them to do. But older children, in upper elementary school and beyond, won't be swayed by your words unless they make sense in their own frame of reference.

If you don't know about your child's psychological development, you're likely to get confused and upset many times during child rearing, and misunderstand your child's expressions that don't fit your standards. The problem is that you'll magnify the problem and repeat the whole process by adopting inappropriate parenting strategies. Also, when you threaten, you usually mix it up with your own emotions, trying to push your child further to do what you want. This may work temporarily, but what happens if you keep doing it? Your child may become overly dependent because they don't know what they should be doing or how to do it on their own, or they may become very rebellious, avoiding the situation because they are never understood by parents.

Your child will not be the child you want them to be, and your relationship with them will suffer, if you repeatedly make emotionally charged threats. While your initial intention may be to inform and correct your child's behavior, threats never have positive effects on you or your child.

If you want your child to do what you want them to do, you need to set an example by doing it yourself first, which means creating an environment where children can realize the need for good behaviors and do it for themselves. Also, even if you want something from your child, you need to listen to them and coordinate with them, not force them.

When you don't accurately understand how human mind operates and how psychology develops in children, you are likely to have misconception and expand your thinking in accordance with your own standards. We all tend to make mistakes and repeat them over and over again, evaluating others with our own ideas despite our differences. Please, keep in mind that your children are not you, and try to find ways to help children develop right judgment and make right decisions for themselves instead of pushing them to behave the way parents want them to.

https://youtu.be/8xhoSWmdlpI?si=5hYPcSg4uDuNF-aU

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

6/19/2024

[Sex & Xes] Do you feel the need for an erectile dysfunction medication?

Erectile dysfunction medications were developed in response to the human desire for sex. Many companies have developed and marketed erectile dysfunction medications. Physically, erectile dysfunction in men is related to blood circulation. These pills allow men to have erections for up to 72 hours with a single dose, not always, but spontaneously when the desire and excitement of sex arises. Initially, people were cautious to use these products due to the many side effects that followed, but in recent years, they’ve become more common with little risk of side effects.

It’s true that they’ve made sex much smoother, and their invention was certainly a breakthrough. However, the question of whether erectile dysfunction medications have actually helped couples improve their sex lives is something that needs to be rethought. Erectile dysfunction is usually caused by psychological problems, not by aging or physical problems. So, even if erectile dysfunction medications have helped a man get an erection, sex with his partner may still be unsatisfying.

Erections and sex are very important for men. Being able to have sex is like being able to prove that you're alive as a man, and if you can’t have sex, you lose passion and your energy dies. Men place a lot of importance on penis size, erections, virility, and stamina because they believe that being able to satisfy a woman sexually is a sign of masculinity.

However, despite the importance they place on sex, they often don't know much about sexual function and sex in practice. Rather than relying on temporary sexual enhancement from erectile dysfunction medications, a change in perception is necessary to restore sexual function in a fundamental way, and enjoy full pleasure with your partner. Please, remember that erectile dysfunction medications improve erections, but this doesn't necessarily correlate with enjoyment of sex. Boredom and mannerisms are often bigger problems.

Men may also enjoy having sex with a new partner due to the effects of freshness, excitement, and curiosity, which may help erection and ejaculation. However, this doesn’t last long as far as they only perceive sex as physical activity that focuses on penetration, ejaculation, and orgasm. Just as important as the erectile dysfunction medication, it's important to think of sex as a whole process, from the daily routine to the afterplay. If you think of sex only as caressing, penetration, and ejaculation, then erectile dysfunction medications will do more harm than good in the long run. You'll only end up with unsatisfying sex that leads to a growing sexual desire for more as if you were drinking salt water.

This is why many men try to meet new women, even if it means investing time, money, and effort, because they perceive and enjoy the whole process as having sex, from having dinner together to the afterplay. The whole process builds passion in men. If you're in a relationship, and you're able to perceive every part of your daily routine as sex and enjoy it consistently, there's no need to go through the hassle and risk of meeting new women. The reason they don't is that both men and women don't have the ability to enjoy sex in a true sense. However, it is not difficult to create true sex ability if you invest a little time, money, and effort in order to enjoy sexual bliss as a couple until the day you die.

Erectile dysfunction medications will only temporarily improve the physical problem. It's one thing to have the pleasure of having an erection, but it's quite another to actually enjoy the pleasure of sex. Therefore, it's important to first restore the underlying sexual function and then build a sexual performance that will allow a couple to enjoy a lifetime of sexual happiness. It's important to realize that curing erectile dysfunction completely and achieving lifelong sexual happiness is possible, even if it seems impossible.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Mother Therapy] If your child or teen wants to move out and become independent

As a parent, what would you do if your child or teen wanted to move out on their own? Of course, there are times when school or family circumstances force a child to move out on their own, but most parents would be concerned and oppose the move. There is a difference between a child or teen running away from home and moving out on their own. Running away is when a child leaves home without parental support, while moving out is when a child separates from home with parental support.

There are three main reasons why a child or teen might move out on their own. They may want to live freely, free from stress and difficulties at home; they may want to stop studying and have fun; or they may want to live according to their own will, avoiding interference from their parents. Whatever the reason for your child's decision to move out, it's important to consider the issues that may arise when your child becomes independent and to prevent problems from arising.

As your child moves out and wants to pursue their own self-actualization and happiness, you need to make sure they understand their rights and responsibilities. The next thing to consider is that when children become independent, they will have to live their daily lives based on the psychological habits that have been formed so far. When children become independent, some parents will support them in many ways for their survival and safety, which may lead to the problem that they are not really independent, but dependent on parents for self-actualization.

Having the right to self-actualization, but not being responsible for it, increases the likelihood that an independent child will develop a distorted sense of self-actualization, which can lead to habits of dependency and to a life of dependence on others later in life.

So what should parents do when their child wants to move out? We recommend that you first analyze the reasons for your child's desire for independence as a child or adolescent, and then study the possible countermeasures and solutions. Then, you should prepare your child for independence by discussing with them the changes in rights and problems that will occur when they become independent.

Parents and children should also make plans about returning home when problems arise after moving out, especially discussing issues and prevention of illness, health, accidents, crimes, etc. This way, children will strive to avoid causing problems after moving out and will be able to return home immediately when problems arise. Parents should always talk to their children about the importance of returning home safely and without pressure, and help them to fully appreciate this. This is why your role is so important when your child wants to move out on their own, or when they actually move out.

Opposing independence at all costs can be very damaging to the parent-child relationship and can make it very difficult for the child, so it's best to tread lightly and realize that this whole process can be a good experience in their growth.

https://youtu.be/W0LBsaGT9sg?si=jQqoqnlalBmlH-Mk

https://youtu.be/Hum7N3CtT7g?si=TQlXB79wbbXv45zM

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Mother Therapy] Too many thoughts, too many thoughts

You may have experienced having too many thoughts. You nay may have said to yourself, ‘My thoughts are chasing my tail. I don't know if I'm sleeping or not because I'm thinking too much... I wake up quickly and can't go back to sleep, so I'm tired every day. I think I have a problem... Do I have a mental problem? Do I need to go to therapy?’ It's easy to see yourself thinking too much and think that there's something wrong with you and that you should seek treatment. But thinking too much doesn't mean you have a problem and need treatment.

We all naturally feel stressed as we go about our daily lives, but having lots of thoughts and worries isn't necessarily a negative thing. We can use our thoughts and worries to prevent harm and protect ourselves. For example, if you have children, you may have anxiety about whether you're doing a good job as a parent, worry about your child's development and health, worry about your relationship with your child, and so on. Having a lot of thoughts and concerns about parenting doesn't necessarily mean that you're having a negative impact on yourself or your child.

Rather, it's a sign that you're interested in parenting and parenting well, that you recognize the importance of relationships, and that you want to grow together and be a good influence. On the contrary, a lot of thinking and worrying about parenting can give us the opportunity to learn about healthy parenting and have a positive impact on the parent-child relationship. Therefore, a certain amount of thinking and worry, or moderate stress, is healthy.

What does it mean when we have a lot of thoughts and worries and a lot of stress? It means that there's something you want to do. It could be that you want to live your life well, and if you've been doing well, you want to keep doing well.

What if you look at having a lot of thoughts and worries not as a sign that there's something wrong with you, but as a sign that you want to make an effort to do something well? You've been doing well in your life, and you're going to continue to do well in your life, with these signals. If the thoughts that are bothering you are not going away, and you're dwelling on them for too long, and they're having a negative impact on your life and the relationships around you, it is also absolutely fine to seek professional help.

https://youtu.be/MwK1xd0KFrQ?si=qSqVHn_pS3GOZCCX

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

6/12/2024

[Sex & Xes] Tips for having successful sex

Today, I'd like to talk about “tips for having successful sex”, which is a topic that many men and women actually want to know more about. Simply and simply, the only thing a man needs to have successful sex is to have good physical sexual function, so men don't actually need tips to have successful sex. Rather, the search for information and knowledge about sex leads to xes wounds in xesmind in men caused by perceived sexual information, which accumulates and leads to sexual dysfunction. No matter how much information and knowledge you have about sex, if your body doesn't respond in a sexual situation, you won't have successful sex.

On the other hand, for successful sex, women need to have a lot of information and knowledge about sex. This is the complete opposite of the notion that sex is centered around men, that men need to know a lot of information about sex, and that men need to take the lead. You may be asking, “Does this mean that the time has finally come for women to take the lead in sex?” But I want you to understand that I am not speaking in terms of time or socio-culture, but in terms of the workings of the mind and the xesmind.

Women needing to know about sex means only that they need to know how to pleasure themselves. Most women don't know how to pleasure themselves in sex, and that's why they're often in a passive position in sex. Women who still balk at the phrase “women should know how” are doing so because they're thinking of sex with men-centeredness: women don't have to lead men, and they don't have to feel shame about pleasuring themselves through sex. Women should just focus on making themselves satisfied and happy through sex without thinking too much about it, and they should figure out how to do that.

So, when women are having sex for their own pleasure and happiness, what happens when men's sexual functioning is in sync with that? It would create the ultimate passion for the man, and the ultimate love and happiness for the woman, resulting in a complete union and maximum satisfaction. But in reality, no matter how much information men have about sex, women usually don't know how to enjoy it for themselves, and that information leads to men having xes wounds that cause them to develop sexual dysfunction, and sex becomes more and more of a mystery.

The result is that sex gradually becomes a means of pleasure or a way to be loved, and both men and women become confused about the process of sex, and then, they judge the success of sex based solely on ejaculation and orgasm. As this continues and repeats, sex becomes boring and obligatory.

Men should only be concerned with improving their own sexual function. Men should avoid seeking information and knowledge about sex as much as possible, and realize that the more information they accumulate, the more problems they will have with their sexual functioning. Women should also be concerned with learning how to achieve their own pleasure and happiness. Please, remember that when a woman feels the most pleasure and happiness in sex, it will automatically create the most passion and pleasure in her partner.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

6/10/2024

[Mother Therapy] Problems with solutions to children’s behavioral issues

As children and teens grow up, they encounter many problems. When caregivers, teachers, and other adults become uncomfortable with what children and adolescents say and do, they recognize that a problem exists and try to solve the problem individually, and if the problem persists or worsens, the child or adolescent is considered to have a problem. Most children and adolescents' problems can be categorized into health and physical problems, relationship problems, emotional problems, thought problems. These problems are common in the growth process. While individual solutions to directly address children and adolescents' problems can be effective in some cases, people don't realize that those solutions can also have serious problems in most cases.

Children and adolescents have the right to be physically safe. They also have the right to form healthy psychological habits, and through trial and error, they form habits of relationships, emotions, and thoughts. Parents, schools, and society are responsible for protecting these rights of children and teens. For example, if children and adolescents have health problems, their parents should seek medical help to resolve them.

The formation of psychological habits requires making a lot of trial and error. Through making trial and error, children and adolescents create their own psychological habits to address difficulties, solve problems, and avoid repeating them. As a caregiver, it's your responsibility to help children and adolescents learn from their mistakes.

However, in the real world, when children and teens make mistakes, we decide that something is wrong with them, and we use admonition and discipline to help them solve the problem. If you decide that all of the child's trials and errors are problems, you'll have to work individually to solve many problems, and each problem will require a different solution. Then, even if one problem is solved, many other problems will arise, each requiring a different solution.

This is a serious problem that arises when it is not recognized that children and adolescents are forming psychological habits through trial and error. When children and teens experience trial and error, caregivers usually feel uncomfortable and decide that something is wrong with them.

When caregivers are comfortable, they rationalize and justify that children and adolescents are doing well and growing up without problems, which interferes with the formation of psychological habits and robs children and adolescents of their rights. When this happens, the child or adolescent develops a habit of relying on the caregiver or other people to solve problems, and distorted psychological habits are formed, and the child or adolescent's psychological habits become aligned with the caregiver's psychological habits.

Rather than providing each solution to a problem, it is necessary to help children and adolescents to solve their own problems through trial and error, along with parenting methods that help them to form psychological habits. Only when they are unable to solve their own problems should parents intervene. It should be a priority for parents to help children and adolescents solve their own problems and help them form healthy psychological habits.

https://youtu.be/vNo6D99op5o?si=NHmwUzEWpIx5n1AS