7/02/2021

Free Consultation on Divorce

 [Free Consultation on Divorce]

Those who have taken or are taking KIP Psychology Treatment for Type 2 Psychological Disorders are considered to have already begun the process of becoming happy, so they simply need to make inquiries on divorce through [Self-check & Questions] on the homepage. Free consultation on divorce is provided for those who have not started the treatment process. 

The free consultation on divorce provided by KIP is not legal consultation. Those who need legal consultation may have to seek advice from lawyers. KIP provides consultation for anyone who suffers from psychological pain and difficulties due to issues regarding divorce. They include people who want to get a divorce, are in the process of divorcing, and have already got divorced. We will do our best to guide you to solve practical problems and find the way to achieve happiness in a true sense. Especially, those who have difficulties with relationship with children and other family members may greatly benefit from taking KIP free consultation. 

Please, send us an e-mail providing the following information for free consultation on divorce. You will receive a written report on the result of consultation in a few days. We will guide you to correctly address the issues regarding divorce with adequate concepts and strategies based on accurate understanding of human mind and psychology.  

                          * Send your e-mail to : uip@uip.ac


[Application form for free consultation on divorce]

* Title of your e--mail : Application for free consultation on divorce                                               (Your name or a pseudonym)

1. Personal Information:

   1) Name (Pseudonym) : 

   2) E-mail address: 

   3) Country / Area of Residence:

   4) Gender :

   5) Age of yours and your spouse's :

   6) Period of marriage or living together :

   7) Number of children/ their age & gender : 

   8) Reasons for (thinking about) divorce : 

   9) Other experiences of psychological difficulties :


2. Points of inquiry : 

3. Points of request : 

4. Questions : 


[Notes]

1. Please, include facts about you in a simple way. 

2. Include what happened, how things progressed, how things are going now for '2. Points of inquiry'.

3. Include any requests for '3. Points of request'.

4. Include general questions you may have for '4. Questions'.

* You may be provided with a more detailed report when you provide more detailed facts. 

                     * Send your e-mail to : uip@uip.ac

[About free consultation on divorce]

Free consultation on divorce of KIP guides people who are suffering from psychological pain and difficulties before, during, and after divorce to wisely solve practical problems regarding divorce and achieve happiness. 

Korea Institute of Psycho-education provides free consultation on divorce based on the Theory of Minind and Xesmind. It analyzes causes of problems during marriage, during divorce process, and after divorce, and provides you with important guidelines for properly addressing the issue of divorce.

 In cases where it applies, psychological problems and psychological disorders are differentiated, and different solutions are suggested for individual cases. It also informs you of treatment and prevention methods of related psychological problems and disorders.  

Conventional consultations on divorce tend to focus mostly on legal issues, which leads to unhappy life after divorce with distorted psychology negatively affecting even children. We aim for fundamental mechanism of divorce being known to as many people as possible and for guiding people in pain and suffering to restore healthy psychology and true happiness instead of getting lost in the midst of misguiding information and knowledge and ruining their life.  

[Points to be included in the report of consultation]

- Analysis of fundamental causes of divorce

- Causes of present pain and suffering

- Points to be noted when you attempt to resolve the issue

- Expected results when the issue is not resolved

- Expected results when the issue is resolved

- Directions and methods of resolving the issue

- Answers to questions you have provided 


[Recipients of free consultation on divorce]

- People who have decided to get a divorce in order to get out of the present situation

- People who suffer in the process of getting a divorce

- People who suffer from repeated divorce and remarriage

- People who suffer from problems of children after divorce

- People who suffer from difficulties in relationships after divorce

- People who cannot get into romantic relationships after dovirce

- People who suffer from sex problems after divorce

- People who feel psychological difficulties without specific reasons after divorce

- People who experience insomnia or psychogenic illnesses

- People who experience psychological disorders (depression, panic disorder,         addiction, etc)

- People who experience severe psychological disorders (relationship addiction,       post traumatic stress, bipolar disorder, hysteria, intermittent explosive                disorder)

- People who have worries and difficulties after divorce but cannot find adequate information or advice

Most people think that they will become comfortable and happy after divorce since they can get away from problems of marriage. They proceed with the divorce process or seek legal advice on divorce but hardly imagine that they will get severely wounded in the process damaging their psychology and cannot but live an unhappy life after divorce. 

It is true that you become comfortable when you get out of all the problems of marriage. Divorce blocks you from sensing the deep wounds from marriage and the process of divorce, but this numbness does not last long. Usually, psychological wounds get aggravated even after divorce and you end up experiencing serious problems in life or living an unhappy life. Also, children develop psychological problems in most cases adding more burden onto you.  

Many people do not sense their deep wounds and don't know what to do when problems occur in their life or with their children. In the mean time, their psychology deteriorates even further making things even more serious. Then, you may look for solutions and seek for advice through diverse channels. They are all right and may be helpful in some situations but again, your psychological conditions keep getting aggravated in the process.  

Conventional wisdom around the world tends to focus more on practical solutions than on psychological problems of divorce and does not provide restoration methods of healthy psychology regarding divorce and prevention methods against further psychological problems. Regardless of individual circumstances, you must restore healthy psychology to be able to live happily before, during, and after divorce.

Free consultation on divorce of KIP provides you with accurate understanding of the mechanism of psychology in marriage and divorce so that you can find the right path for happiness regardless of your marriage status. When you have a strong will power and make continuous efforts for your happiness, you will be able to achieve happiness in a true sense even if you are in the worst moment in your life at present.  

You will receive the result report provided by KIP regarding your situation and guidelines for future actions. You will find that the result report of KIP is more accurate and systematic than any other one even though it is free of charge. You will learn why you had to go through such a difficult time without being able to see the whole picture. You will find that you can become happy again by restoring healthy psychology and taking adequate actions.  

Thank you. 


[Korea Institute of Psycho-education & Japan Institute of Psycho-education]


Address (Korea) : 3rd Floor, Posta-Bldg, 14-13, Teheran-ro, 78-Gil, Kangnam-Ku, Seoul, 06194, South Korea

Tel. 070-8822-6004 (Seoul Office), E-mail. kip@kip.ac

Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.kip.ac/ 


Address (Japan) : Room 403, 3-14-2, Ueno, Taiko-Ku, Tokyo-To, 110-0005, Japan

Tel. 03-4590-6152(Tokyo Office), E-mail. jip@jip.ac

Japan Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.jip.ac/ 


Address (USA) : 2954 West 8th St. Suite 101, Los Angeles, CA 90005, USA

Tel. (213) 291-46099 (Los Angeles Office) , E-mail. uip@uip.ac

Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/ 


7/01/2021

Couples must stop conversing when conflicts and confrontations occur.



      Many people advise couples to have conversations when conflicts and confrontations occur, but conversations between two close people in conflict situations actually aggravate the relationship. You must accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology before taking any actions to resolve conflicts in a marriage relationship. The closer people are to each other, the more conflicts they are likely to develop. When you find out about your partner's infidelity, it is no wonder that conflicts and confrontation develop to extremity. 

     The husband is stressed by the wife's speech and actions expressed in negative ways, and the wife develops wounds by perceiving the husband's speech and actions expressed in negative ways. When the two have conversations, it is natural that they necessarily exchange thoughts and emotions associated with their stress and wounds. The husband will keep perceiving stressful information through conversations and respond to stress expressing negatively, and the wife will retrieve wounds from all her life and express them negatively. 

     Then, how could they proceed toward recovery rather than toward aggravation? Many people advise couples to put themselves in the other's shoes, which sounds pretty rational but is almost impossible to be put into practice. Men do not store emotions in memory, so are not able to retrieve negative emotions from memory as women do. Women retrieve all negative emotions stored in memory for their whole life and are not able to retrieve only facts of the past not relating them with emotions as men do. It is impossible for the husband and the wife to put themselves in the other's position and think and feel as their partner does in real life situations. In addition, individuals' thoughts and emotions are formed only based on their unique memories and unique life experiences. No one else can even imagine how you feel and what you think let alone putting themselves in your position. 

     What you must do is not putting yourself in your counterparty's position and vice versa, but accurately understanding the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology. In case of men, the most positive input is perceived as stress when they are already in a stressful situation. In case of women, positive input helps recovery even when they are suffering from wounds in memory, but then, women's wounds expand the moment the input is perceived as stress. It is crucial to understand that males' and females' minds operate in completely different ways. 

     Conflicts and confrontations simply get aggravated as the couple keep having conversations without understanding the operational mechanism of mind and psychology. Men will activate stress more and more connecting stress and facts of the past, and women will activate wounds more and more retrieving all the wounds stored in memory. The first and the foremost thing to do in conflict situations in marriage relationship is to stop having conversations. Then, each partner needs to heal stress and treat wounds separately before they can resume conversations with a positive emotional state. Adopting this strategy will raise the probability of reaching recovery of relationship in a great deal. 

     When spouse infidelity occurs, attempting conversations between the straying partner, who has relationship addiction, and the victimized partner, who has post traumatic stress, is like pouring oil on the flame. You must stop having conversations and recover yourselves separately by treating relationship addiction and post traumatic stress in order to restore a happy marriage relationship. 

https://youtu.be/Hxlk4-rihmk



6/30/2021

How to generate passion and use it to benefit yourself and others

 


     Passion is moods with which you get immersed into an object you like or an object you perceive as positive. The object of passion can be people, work, hobbies or anything other than yourself. When you get immersed into the object you like, stress is naturally generated. Stress is healed every time you think about the object and take actions in order to overcome and relieve stress. Passion toward the object you like is formed as you repeat this process. In order to generate passion toward a certain object, you must think about it first and then, take actions. Passion cannot be generated without thinking about the specific object first. 

     For example, we all get a certain amount of stress when we work. Passion is generated as you overcome stress and make achievements at work. However, when you are not interested in the work and do not feel you need to work at all, you may try to avoid stress instead of overcoming it. Generating passion starts from being interested in the object, so when you do the work just because you have to, you cannot generate passion and you only accumulate stress. Then, the more you work, the more difficulties you feel, and you eventually may quit the work. As stress accumulates at work without being able to generate passion, you become to ask yourself questions such as, 'Why am I doing this? Am I fit for this job? Am I doing well? Do I even have the ability?'

     In some cases, you may think about the object but you feel that it does not accord with you in any way. Then, stress is generated even before you start the work. In this case, stress is induced not from the object but from your thought process. Thus, repulsion toward the object gradually develops when you work without even thinking about it, but repulsion develops in a short time when you have negative perception from the beginning and then, you become to want to quit the work soon. This mechanism applies to both men and women. 

     If you have never had passion in your life, you need to think and find something you like first. Once you experience getting immersed into the object you like and generating passion, you can easily repeat the process the next time even if you stop generating passion toward the present object. It is important to experience generating passion for the first time. Then, you would not want to go back to the days you lived without thinking and generating passion, and you would keep looking for the object of passion.

     People who live without passion usually do not have the experience of finding an object they like or generating passion toward the object overcoming stress. They may have avoided stress or have not taken actions to overcome stress. You cannot generate passion when you have the habit of avoiding stress since passion is generated only when you feel positive moods in the process of overcoming stress. People who avoid stress as habits may not experiences many difficulties in life but cannot generate passion either. 

     Also, your object of passion must be something that has a positive influence on you and others. When you have passion toward something unproductive, you may do harm to yourself and other people by getting immersed into the object of passion. This is referred to as distorted passion and distorted passion destroys psychology and life of yours and people around you. With this respect, we need experiences in generating passion toward objects with positive and productive values. We must be able to pursue happiness of self and others in a true sense by generating passion toward the object we like. 

     Not may people can find the right object of passion at one try but you can keep looking for things you may like, trying to overcome stress along the way to expand your passion as well as experiences. Trial and error in diverse areas will transform your passion into your abilities and then, you can adapt yourself in all areas generating passion and making achievements.

     When you generate passion only toward pleasure and consume energy without any productive result, your passion will serve to destroy your life and lives of people around you. When you develop distorted habits of generating passion and relieving stress, you may keep accumulating stress from one object and looking for another object for relieving stress. This mechanism can be applied to differentiate people who generate pure passion toward their work and family and make great achievement contributing to the society, and people who generate distorted passion toward objects of pleasure and use it as a destructive energy. 

https://youtu.be/V0UhmAg-IW0


Apply for free consultation on psychological problems


http://www.uip.ac


The psychology of men's and women's crying

 


    Human beings cry when they are overwhelmed with joy or sorrow, but men and women have different mechanisms in their psychological operation of crying. For women, crying occurs by the operation of feelings, which can be activated and continued by retrieving memory of emotions without the present inflow of sensory stimulation from outside. Women can easily cry when they are happy or sad by retrieving memory as well as by getting immersed into the current situation. When women feel sad and cry upon some current situation, they can easily fall into the identical feelings and continue with the feelings even when the situation is long gone. 

     However, for men, crying occurs by the activation of temporary moods that respond to the current situation that induces the inflow of sensory stimulation. Men can feel joy and sorrow as women do, but men do not store emotions in their memory and activate only moods for the present moment when the stimulation exists. Men cry as they get immersed into the present situation temporarily. Therefore, men hardly cry when they are happy since they cannot incorporate the present happy experience with all the stored accumulated feelings as women do. They just feel happy for the moment and the positive moods disappear soon along with the disappearance of the stimulation. They cry in a sad situation by getting immersed into the sad moods, but they can neither retrieve the sad emotions from memory nor cry when the situation is over. 

     For example, suppose a man and a woman are watching a sad movie and both of them are crying. The man is immersed into the present situation and activates moods to cry, and the woman is also immersed into the present situation and activates feelings to cry by combining the present situation and stored emotions. When some time passes after watching the movie, the man can hardly cry even when he thinks about the sad movie, but the woman can easily cry by retrieving the stored sad feelings associated with the movie and with other past sad incidents. That is, both men and women get immersed into the present sad situation and cry, but only women can retrieve the stored feelings and combine them with the present situation.

     This mechanism explains another difference between men and women. Both men and women can either cry by getting immersed into the present situation or cry by imagining a sad situation when necessary. For men, it is always the operation of temporary moods that enable them to cry whether by getting immersed into the present situation or by imagining a sad situation. So, men crying by imagining a sad situation is simply considered to be fabricated out of some specific purpose. 

     On the other hand, when women cry, whether by getting immersed into the present situation or by imagining a sad situation, all their feelings are completely activated and assimilated with the crying. Women's crying becomes genuine regardless of their intention since they are designed to retrieve and connect stored feelings when they express emotions. Their crying becomes incorporated into real feelings even when they are imagined and fabricated at the beginning. 

     Real crying and faked crying can be differentiated for men, but it does not apply to women since women tend to transform even faked crying into real crying. Since this mechanism is not known to people, men mistakenly assume that women's sadness will disappear soon without leaving a trace when they see women crying, and women mistakenly assume that men will keep the sad feelings and remember them for a long time when they see men crying. 


https://youtu.be/-NPaLfAcPa4


  Apply for free consultation on psychological problems


http://www.uip.ac


6/27/2021

The psychology of failure


      Everyone wants success and no one wants failure. However, many people do not understand the concepts of success and failure accurately and people sometimes mistake success for failure and vice versa. Usually, we think that success is to accomplish what we set as the goal. Of course, everyone has their own unique standards on what their goals are. It is usually considered as a failure when you have not reached your goal and given up on pursuing the goal. 

     Many people have dichotomous thinking about success and failure and they think they have failed when they have not reached the final goal. However, the concept of success and failure needs to incorporate the process of pursuing the goal as well as the result. Excluding the process and focusing only on the result leads to the false concept of success and failure. Success or failure in your life is determined not only by the result but also by every moment when you make efforts to obtain the result. Evaluation of your success in life must reflect all your experiences including both negative and positive ones. 

     Problems occur when you evaluate success in life only based on the result excluding the process since it means that you can become a successful person no matter how you achieve the goal. All human beings pursue success throughout their life, and pursuing success and self-actualization is meaningful and important in and of itself. Even if you go through difficult times on the way to success, they are also valuable moments of your life. If you focus only on the result excluding the process, you are likely to develop psychological problems during the process of pursuing the goal and after you achieve the goal and stop the process of pursuing. With this respect, it is crucial that you set another new goal and start pursing and making efforts based on your achievement when you think that you have achieved your goal.         

     All people go through difficulties in the process of pursuing success and self-actualization, and they may want and try to avoid difficult situations. However, it must be understood that it is only natural that we always go through difficulties in the process of pursuing success as far as we make efforts to create, change, complement, and improve. Human beings are supposed to endlessly encounter difficulties and feel joy and happiness each time they overcome difficulties. 

     When you do not include the concept of the process in the pursuit of success, you can easily conclude that you or others have failed in life when the desired result is not achieved. Also, you may have the goal and the desire for success, but you may not want to make efforts and go through difficulties. It must always be kept in mind that you fail not when you give up on the result, but when you give up on the process. When the distorted concept of success focusing only on the result prevails in the society, distorted ways of pursuing success without making efforts such as speculation or blackmail may also prevail in the society. 

     Success based on your own efforts and success based on distorted process or by luck are completely different. If you succeeded based on distorted process or by luck, you are rather considered to have failed. Whether your life is successful or not is determined only when you end your life, and if you have lived your life constantly making efforts for your goal, you are considered to have succeeded in you life. Such people can be said to have set an example for the next generation. From the perspective of human beings' pursuit of happiness and self-actualization, the dichotomous thinking about success and failure only based on the result cannot exist. Actually, the process of making efforts to achieve success is more meaningful and important than the result.




https://youtu.be/i_OG4wYtpMU


Apply for free consultation on psychological problems


http://www.uip.ac


6/25/2021

How can you tell if a man has an abnormal sexual desire?


 Q : My husband, who had an extramarital affair with another woman in the past, shows his sexual desire within less than every 3 days. Does it mean that he has an abnormal sexual desire? How do you distinguish that a man who has nothing to do with infidelity has sexual dysfunction from that a man who has an experience of infidelity has an abnormal sexual desire? Does my husband need more healing therapy? 

A : People talk about men's sexual desires a lot, but whether how big or small their sexual desires are is not an important matter. They have sex if they have someone to have sex with, and they don't if there are not. Also, an abnormal sexual desire is a term that is used not to men but to women. It talks about ups and downs in sexual desires like when they have a very strong sexual desire due to trauma or when their strong sexual desire disappears due to a specific incident. 

Basically, men have excessive sexual desires, which is why they just have sex when they have someone to have sex with if they have psychological disorders. If they have an extramarital relationship with another woman, that woman is just an object to release his sexual desires. If he does not meet her, he tries whatever to relieve his sexual desire.  

Therefore, abnormal sexual desire or excessive sexual desire are terms that are not supposed to be applied to the husband's infidelity. A husband's sexual desire is at work towards women other than his wife. Well, of course, it happens only in his thoughts. He is not like that from the beginning, but, after a certain period of having marital life, he considers his wife and children as if they are himself resulting in that his sexual desire does not appear toward the wife. The problem of your husband's infidelity has nothing to do with sex.  

https://youtu.be/YcryS6Egx0s



Mindfulness vs. KIP Psychology Treatment Training

 


'Mindfulness' is popular these days as a meditational method that promotes healthy psychology. It is considered to be an effective method for elevating the level of focus and calmness. It must be absolutely beneficial to adopt the method of mindfulness in general for such purposes. However, it must be categorized as a healing method of psychological problems rather than a treatment method of psychological disorders.

To be able to treat psychological disorders, you must establish clear concepts regarding the following questions.

- What is mind?
- What is the root cause of psychological pain and suffering?
- What operation of mind results in emotions?
- Exactly what parts of mind are targeted for treatment?
- What is the difference between mind and psychology?

Most conventional methods of psychology treatment including the method of mindfulness that claim to be effective for treating psychological disorders do not differentiate mind and psychology, and therefore cannot address the operation of mind and psychology in any fundamental and systematic way.

I have developed the Theory of Mimind that attemtps to explain the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology. It is crucial to accurately understand the operational mechanism of mind and psychology to adequately address psychological disorders for a full recovery without adverse side effects in the long term. Many people continue to suffer from psychological disorders or aggravate their conditions believing that they are adopting proper treatment methods when they are actually adopting healing methods that provide only temporary effects of diversion. It must be noted that even some well-intended programs may lead you to waste you time, effort, and money without providing accurate diagnosis and adequate treatment.


E-mail : uip@uip.ac

6/23/2021

How star entertainers can prevent the collapse of their psychology

         


      Star entertainers are born on the basis of the support of general public. They become famous and are loved by many people. They get a spotlight wherever they go and whatever they do and they make general public feel happy identifying themselves with star entertainers they like. Then, some entertainers develop psychological problems after they become famous. Their psychological problems are manifested as negative incidents as they get involved in scandalous events and accidents, disappointing people who have supported them.

     Star entertainers must be more careful than other people to protect their mind and psychology. When they develop problems in their psychology, they are at risk of losing their fame and career and becoming an easy target of condemnation and hatred by general public. To protect their mind and psychology, they must build the ability to heal stress and treat psychological wounds on their own. 

     When star entertainers do not have the ability to maintain healthy psychology, they are more susceptible to getting involved in unfortunate incidents anytime and anywhere considering the probability of every move they make becoming public. Many star entertainers must live under constant stress and end up accumulating psychological wounds that may develop into psychological disorders. When they develop psychological disorders without even recognizing it, they may find themselves in the midst of scandalous events and unfortunate incidents that are disclosed to public in no time. It happens since they have talents in the field of their specialty but do not have the ability to protect their mind and psychology. 

     Not only star entertainers but also all celebrities must build the ability to build happiness in their mind to be able to pursue even greater value in their career and continue to influence general public in positive ways. 



https://youtu.be/QbLQ0NOr6u8

  

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems


http://www.uip.ac


I am surrounded with people who have extra marital affairs. What should I do?


Q : I have a close friend; her husband and my husband are friends too. She told me her story after she knew my husband's infidelity. When I told her about treatment, she said she wants to get treated too. In her case, both she and her husband are having extramarital affairs with each one's partner. How is she supposed to get the treatment? Is she possible to be treated?

Before I told her about the treatment, she said 'why don't you just enjoy your life? he (my husband) gives you living expenses anyway, doesn't he?' I think I need to keep myself away from my husband's friends. Hearing what they say seems to make my treatment delayed.

A : If you see your friend's situation, the couple has each one's partner having extramarital affair with. What you need to focus on at this point is that she told you about her infidelity. Her purpose of confessing her infidelity to you is either one of the following: first is that she really wants to get treated, or second is that she wants you to have infidelity too so that she can have and share the fun with you. Or, she might really feel the need for treatment. However, if she really wanted to get treated, she would have made contact and started her treatment. Of course, she can be treated if she really wants, but she doesn't seem like she wants to get the treatment when seeing her not asking you details about the treatment even if you told her about it. Also, what you need to keep in mind is that her problem is none of your business to care and give advice. Making own judgment and decision is up to her. Instead, you must focus on treating yourself and making the ability of happiness. Do not care about her. Her trauma will seep into you as soon as you listen to her story. Since your husband and her husband are friends, the trauma caused by infidelity will become doubled or tripled. Just make a reference to this. 

As mentioned above, your friend's case is either one or the other. She is trying to make you just like her by tempting you to have infidelity as she does. Especially, if she said to you 'enjoy your life,' she is not thinking of getting treatment at all. Thus, keep a distance from her until you get recovered. If you see her after having the ability of happiness, you will be able to notice how miserable her life is. 

 https://youtu.be/qcfcHuv7RkU




6/21/2021

How to overcome unfortunate family history


     Many people attribute the cause of their present medical problems to family history. When this concept is applied to the analysis of psychology, the cause of the present psychological problems is attributed to the original family or the growth process. If you think that you are suffering from psychological problems related with family history, you should first understand the relationship between family history and your present psychological problems accurately. 

     All human relationships are formed based on you yourself as the only standard. You must exist in the first place in order to have relationships with your parents, children, siblings, and relatives. It is only you yourself who can recognize happiness and unhappiness in all relationships. Attributing the cause of your happiness or unhappiness to family history is the same as attributing the cause of your problems to other people in the sense that you look for the cause of your psychological condition in external factors. This concept also results in the idea that you cannot but be unhappy or have psychological problems when you grow up in an unhappy family. On the other hand, when you attribute your happiness and unhappiness to yourself, it results in the idea that you are the active agent who can make both yourself and your family happy. 

     Many people attribute their unhappiness to family history but not many people think that they can make the whole family happy by making themselves happy people first. Also, it is most common for people to think that others must change in order for them to become happy rather than thinking that they themselves must change for their own happiness. When you have psychological problems, you must treat your psychological wounds and restore healthy psychology instead of trying to look for the cause in family history or change other family members. When you change yourself to become a happy person, you can change your family history to a happy one.


 

 https://youtu.be/IPHPthStc6Q   

     When you treat your psychological wounds and restore healthy psychology, you can stop the unfortunate family history in your generation and pass down happy family history to the next generation. You cannot change the facts of unhappy past, but you can break away from the present stress and wounds and restore healthy psychology. You are the one who can decide whether you will keep the unhappy family history or start building a happy family history. To build a happy family history, you must make efforts to change yourself into a happy person without avoiding the issue and blaming family history or other people.

     Problems that seem to run in the family are actually individual issues. When the individual issues are not adequately resolved and family members form new families of their own, it is no wonder that the problems look as if they had been passed down to the next generation. Moreover, when individual issues are not adequately addressed and continue, they usually get aggravated as time goes by, which results in the next generation suffering from even more severe psychological problems. Then, people may give up on happiness and even sever their family relationship.

     First of all, you yourself must restore healthy psychology and become a happy person. Your question must be 'How can I become a happy person in a true sense?' instead of 'What can I do about my family members being this way or that way?' Your happiness can be achieved within your mind only by your own will power and efforts regardless of you family history or other people. 

     Everyone wants to live happily in relationships with other people but attributing your psychological problems to family history is simply out of focus and leads you nowhere. Being happy together starts from you becoming a happy person at present and not from others changing in any way. You can start to build a happy family history from today and lead your loved ones in the journey. 


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Apply for free consultation on child's psychological problems


Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/

I would like to know the standard of judging on infidelity.

 


Q : I would like to know the standard of judging on  infidelity.

A : When it comes to the husband's infidelity, there are cases of the husband saying that he only held hands or just had a little conversation, and so on. Problems occur because the standard whether he has an inappropriate relationship or not is looked for from these things. The standard must not be the husband who has had an inappropriate relationship with another woman but the wife who has figured out all of this. If she says it is infidelity, it is infidelity. The victim of the husband's infidelity, the wife, is the one who decides whether her spouse had infidelity or not.

https://youtu.be/4NQMjKgmFew



6/18/2021

Does it count as infidelity when two people contact without face-to-face interaction?


Q : My husband is saying that he didn't have an extramarital affair with another woman because he only exchanged pictures of sexual genitals and romantic text messages, but he has done it for 5 years with that woman. He keeps saying he never cheated on me because they did not meet each other. Is it really not counted as infidelity if they didn't meet in person? 

A : Your husband is addicted to relationships. It is a psychological disorder. Even if he did not meet her in person, he still has a psychological disorder; it is infidelity. However, men think, whatever they did, they did not have inappropriate relationships if there was no sexual relationship. 

Then, women are confused by that. What matters is not that relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder, is judged by whether there was a sexual relationship but that the woman whom your husband enjoyed over the phone was the object that he released his compulsion. 

He is out of mind, which is why he can exchange pictures of his naked body and text messages of romantic words. If he does not keep exchanging text messages and pictures like that, he knows that his relationship with that woman will break and that he can no more have fun. 

https://youtu.be/gvDvHVMZqL0

Just refer to the fact that the woman is just an object of having fun and that the relationship of your husband and that woman is a form of relationship addictions caused by compulsion that comes along with anxiety. You need to be wide-awake. They just did not meet in person, or maybe, they did. 

In this kind of situation, wounds, as deep as the wounds that a wife gets when her husband cheats on her, have already been generated in you. Text messages and pictures that your husband exchanged with that woman have become great wounds; thus, you must treat yourself first. If you do not form the ability of happiness for yourself, his psychological disorder will never be treated.

Don't mind about what your husband saying that he did not cheat on you. What is sure for now is that he is addicted to relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder. Do not make him mad by showing this video and telling him what you are told. To understand what you are just told and be wide-awake would be better for you now. 




6/16/2021

Phases of psychological development


 




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How not to pass down domestic violence to the next generation.


      What would it mean by changing yourself in order not to pass down domestic violence to the next generation? Many people experience domestic violence during their childhood and make efforts not to repeat the same tragic situations when they become adults by changing themselves. However, a family that is free from domestic violence cannot be achieved by just consciously making efforts. 

     When children experience domestic violence in the family, they may develop psychological wounds and trauma in themselves. When they become adults and live independently, they may have psychological difficulties due to the past experiences, but they are not directly under the influence of domestic violence at present. Thus, it is their memory and emotions but not the facts of the past that cause the present difficulties. It is imperative to differentiate the past facts of domestic violence and the present emotions caused by the past facts. The facts of the past cannot be changed but the present emotions can be treated and transformed to emotions of happiness. Therefore, to change yourself not to repeat the tragic situations in the future, you must treat psychological wounds and restore healthy psychology.


 https://youtu.be/3dOwkN5sPz8


     Once you are separated from the perpetrator of domestic violence, you are not under the influence of domestic violence any more. Also, you may think that you can live without being violent yourself as an adult and a parent if you have a strong will power. However, as far as you keep your psychological problems caused by the untreated wounds and trauma, the problems will be manifested in whatever ways. The manifestation of unbalanced psychology is not something you can control with your consciousness, and it is highly likely that your family may have to live under the influence of your untreated psychological problems, which may be manifested as violence or some other negative behaviors. 

     Violence is a form of the expression of psychology which is manifested when habits of expressing stress and wounds have developed problems. However, when the mechanism of stress and wounds being manifested as violence is not understood accurately, the solution of the problem of violence cannot be adequately addressed either, no matter how hard you try in the conscious. What you have to do not to repeat domestic violence is to treat psychological wounds and restore healthy psychology regardless of your past experiences. 

     Trying to change other people or looking for the cause in the past cannot solve the problem stemming from unfortunate family history. Instead of relating past facts with the present psychological conditions, you can simply treat wounds and overcome trauma that you have now, and then, build happy family history and good relationships with people on your own.  


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[Mother Therapy] Dependency in children and teenagers

  There's an old saying that goes, ‘Habits formed at age three stay with you to age eighty.’ This means that psychological habits formed...