Woman’s Conscious of Sex Action

 

Women cannot make expressions about xes actions easily even in a romantic relationship since they perceive xes actions negatively. When a man makes expressions about xes actions to a woman he loves, the woman might perceive his actions as if he does not love her but aims for having xes actions with her. Also, she perceives that the man might perceive her as if she only wants the pleasure of xes action if she makes expressions about xes actions. That is why both man and woman cannot make expressions about xes actions easily. The phenomenon like this happens because women have a compulsion and suppressed psychology about xes actions. 

It is possible for a woman to have xes actions when she has the emotion of love and when she feels present happiness by confirming and maintaining the love. A woman has xes actions because she is in love. So, the woman gets the wounds of compulsion and suppression as she has the psychology that she can allow herself to have xes actions only when she confirms the emotion of love or when she wants to keep the love. 

The psychology of suppression about xes action operates when a woman wants to have xes actions because of the thoughts that she might be perceived by her counterparty that she pursues sexual pleasure. The psychology of suppression also operates when a woman has to have xes actions because of the man she loves since he wants to have xes actions even though she doesn't want to do. In this situation, she needs to suppress the negative emotions about xes actions. Due to the xes actions of either oneself or the counterparty, the wounds of suppression are caused. 

The psychology of compulsion that she must have xes actions operates due to the thoughts that the counterparty might not love her anymore if her counterparty doesn't do xes actions when the woman wants to have xes actions. If she is not satisfied with xes actions, the psychology of compulsion that she must to do xes actions well operates as she gets anxiety that the man has problems. The wounds of compulsion occur by xes actions in cases of dissatisfaction in xes actions of either oneself or the counterparty like this. 

The reason why the psychology of compulsion and suppression of xes actions operates is that the woman perceives xes actions negatively. She thinks the mind of each other is important because she perceives xes actions as things she's not supposed to have without the emotion of love but should have when she's in love. 

Since the mind of love is important like this, she thinks xes actions must be done with the emotion of love in the 'process of love' and perceives that she can feel present happiness by confirming and keeping the love. The problem is when xes actions that are not intended, xes actions without the emotion of love, xes actions that are done when a woman already has felt present happiness are already. The woman has a victim mentality of getting wounds if these things happen.

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Man’s Conscious of Sex Action

 

Men perceive xes actions positively because they perceive that xes actions generate strong energy of passion and as driving force that pursues future happiness. That is why a man generates passion along with xes psychology operated at the same time if he perceives his counterparty as a woman, and he tries his best to have xes actions anyhow. if the process of passion towards the woman is formed like this, xes psychology and xes actions operate simultaneously. 

Men think xes actions very important because they perceive that the result of xes actions generates the best energy in the process of passion. That is to say, they can overcome any of the stress and difficulties in the process of passion with vague anticipation (the pursuit of future happiness). This is men's passion and becomes the power that allows men to enjoy the stress by perceiving it positively. 

When looking into the process of men's passion, you can see how important xes actions are for men. They perceive sexual techniques very importantly for sexual pleasure. This is because they focus on making women feel the pleasure of xes actions. Rather than their pleasure of ejaculation, they perceive women's orgasm more importantly. 

When they pursue the pleasure of xes actions like this, they dream and pursue vague happiness of the future as they think that the result of xes actions will be satisfied and happy. In other words, they become certain that they will be happy if they make xes actions as they imagine xes actions and pursue pleasure. So, a man constantly wants and asks for xes actions to his counterparty in the process of passion. This could mean that he takes a competitive advantage in xes actions compared to other men and operates as the means of strengthening the desire for achievement. Thus, the conscious that he must make his counterparty have the most fun and be happy, rather than his own pleasure, becomes stronger. 

If passionate xes actions are made with the counterparty in this process, the result of xes actions finally appears. If xes actions are made with a woman, he feels present happiness because future happiness is blocked temporarily since his future dream that was vague has come true. When this happens, the passion sharply decreases and is blocked; due to this, a man notices that his feelings disappear quickly after having xes actions. This phenomenon appears to be more greatly as his pursuit of future happiness with vague anticipation is stronger. 

However, if the passion is decreased sharply and blocked as he feels present happiness temporarily, anxiety and being suffocated occur, which operates the psychology of recovering the process of passion again. So, he recovers his passion and falls into the process of passion as he pursues anticipations about xes actions and the happiness of a vague future. This process repeats constantly.

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Sex Trouble

 

Xes actions, for men, are the means and methods of fun and interest and pursue pleasure; these actions are caused as the result of passion about women and the pursuit of happiness. So, they have habits and the conscious that the best man is the one who can give the best pleasure and orgasm to a woman through sex. This psychology is formed by man's mind; therefore, they do not recognize it by the conscious. 

At this point, men get the compulsion that they must provide sexual pleasure and orgasm, which are the best fun and interest, to women; due to this, sex troubles or disorders of xes function occur. Excessive passion such as improving body and genital, the desire for having excessive xes function and techniques, caresse will be formed. It blocks giving pleasure and orgasm to women; as compulsion, anxiety, and fear about xes actions occur, either evasion or suppression of xes actions is caused in the conscious and habits. 

If problems occur in xes actions like this, a man starts blaming himself. He will think of himself as he is the worst man and think that the counterparty will think of him as an incompetent man. If he is in this circumstance, he will be embarrassed and feel humiliated; due to this, he will be passive about xes actions which results in a decrease in passion and dissipation of fun and interest. 

Men stop having xes actions by cutting off their future happiness; because of this, the vicious circle of having stress in the end occurs. At this point, they have problems occurred in their habits and the conscious by their own thoughts regardless of woman's xes actions. 

In the end, a man wants to have the ability of xes actions when he wishes to be perceived by a woman as he is the best in doing xes actions; he will perceive this ability can give the best fun, pleasure, and orgasm to the woman and think that this is the future happiness and the passion. If he makes effort consciously to have the ability of xes actions, he will end up having sex troubles. 

Problems in xes actions, in fact, are habits and the strong conscious that he wants to show and make how well he can make xes actions to a woman; thus, in order to resolve sex troubles is not to be conscious about xes actions. 

Thus, women must know how to make speeches and actions with the conscious and habits that allow men to not have the compulsion on xes actions; then, men's psychology will be stabilized as the compulsion on xes actions disappear, which will make them recover their xes functions and passion. When this happens, women can feel pleasure and orgasm as they get love and happiness. That is to say, women must lead men naturally so that the men won't have the compulsion on xes actions.

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Man’s Perception of Sex Trouble

 

Sex trouble is very fatal to men. They are very sensitive to their sex trouble and try to block making xes actions to the woman who causes him sex troubles. In other words, they blame themselves by perceiving sex troubles as their own problems and get guilty conscious. For men, sex troubles operate as the biggest inferiority complex and change their psychology sharply causing psychological problems. 

Xes actions are the best value for men; they seem as if their goal of life is to pursue xes actions by perceiving xes actions as things that provide the best fun and happiness. Thus, the best man is the man who has the best ability of xes actions; he has the ability to give the best fun and pleasure to his woman. He can also maximize his passion and will get the energy pursuing future happiness. 

If the man is not satisfied with his ability of xes actions and tries to satisfy and if he tries to have techniques of xes actions in order to have the best ability of man and give the best fun and pleasure to his woman, sex troubles will appear. That is to say, that sex troubles are caused when a man tries consciously to be the best in xes actions. 

Especially, in the case when a woman either avoids or rejects a man's xes actions or when she gives a reaction that she did not enjoy the xes actions, the man perceives it as the worst. By the speeches, actions, and facial expressions that the woman unconsciously made, the man experiences the worst crisis; if this situation repeats, he will end up having serious sex troubles. 

If sex troubles occur in this way, the man first thinks that his incompetent ability has been proved to his counterparty. Xes actions are supposed to be the pleasure for both, but he thinks that he has become an incompetent man for sure. 

Then the man will have guilty conscious and blame himself for being incompetent; in the relationship of both the man and the woman, the worst problems will occur as he thinks that everything is due to his incompetent ability. He will feel embarrassed and humiliated to the woman whom he had xes actions with. 

In this situation, the man becomes passive in having xes actions with his counterparty; his passion decreases causing serious stress. Due to this, he thinks that it is impossible to have fun and interest with the counterparty and does not think of his future happiness. If this situation lasts, he will reject and cut off xes actions with his counterparty as he blocks future happiness of being with her together. 

If xes actions are blocked like this, a compulsion about xes actions will be formed causing stress when thinking of xes actions with his counterparty by being anxious, nervous, and suffocated. Because of this, xes actions will be either rejected or avoided.

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Is treatment of post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity possible during pregnancy?

 

Q : Can I get treatment for trauma caused by the spouse's infidelity in pregnancy? I won't look good in a short skirt. 

A : Pregnancy and Infidelity Therapy are separate matters.

And there is no short skirt in therapeutic tasks. Most people say it is a short skirt, but it is H-line skirt (a pencil skirt). Depending on the length of this skirt, the wearer could be perceived either as a woman or as she looks like. So, the task of wearing a H-line skirt is only used as the means of treating the wearer's wounds regardless of how others perceive her. 

Also, therapeutic tasks are a little bit different during pregnancy. During the pregnancy, maternal love already exists, so the therapeutic tasks are partially excluded. Wearing a H-line skirt is one of the excluded tasks. Even if you are in your pregnancy, your rage and wounds must be treated.

Infidelity Therapy treats rage and wounds caused by a spouse's infidelity. Among psychological disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder is the most serious, which causes errors in all three kinds of psychology that are perception, memory, and expression; this occurs by a spouse's infidelity. 

https://youtu.be/Kb6aNG9z1_o

Whatever is perceived, remembered, and expressed operates as pain. That much so that all of yours acts as a powerful wound, so if you don't treat yourself immediately, you want to be as comfortable as deep as your wounds, you want to retaliate against someone, or powerful energy that causes you to become reckless to others will move.

You must face the matter squarely and treat it first immediately due to the reasons that are mentioned above. You must be treated and recovered so that you can make the right decision. In the condition where you have post-traumatic stress disorder, whatever you think and choose will be wounds and errors.

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Concepts of Conversation

 

People think that communication and conversation are the same things, but they are different. Communication is delivering ideas to each other whereas conversation is exchanging opinions and emotions. They are considered to be the same things because both are expressed by speeches and actions, but meanings are completely different. 

The conversation is the process of negotiating opinions for resolving either specific incidents or problems. However, emotions are aroused in the process of negotiating opinions; when emotions occur in human relationships is when psychology is operating. Ultimately, the conversation is the process of exchanges in emotions by psychological operations and negotiations of opinions; thus, the conversation is the process of exchanging speeches, actions, and facial expressions along with the coexistence of opinions and emotions. 

In the conversation with the purpose of negotiating opinions, it is important to exclude emotions. If emotions are included, negotiating opinions would be very difficult. If negative emotions are included in negotiating opinions, the counterparty's opinions will be negatively heard. Thus, even though the counterparty shares good and necessary opinions, they all will sound so negatively that you won't want to hear them and will feel bad along with your confidence scratched. In the end, the conversation will be cut off as the counterparty will oppose emotionally. The conversation will become an emotional confrontation. Thus, you will start blaming each other for the causes of every problem if the conversation is cut off. Problems will occur if emotions are included in the process of negotiating opinions since emotions come first rather than opinions. Problems cannot be resolved. 

The conversation plays a crucial role in psychological operations in human relationships. Conversations are necessary for psychological operations. The purpose of making speeches, actions, and facial expressions is because of conversations. 

The conversation is making expressions to each other in order to resolve problems. It is expressing in forms of speeches, actions, and facial expressions for problem-solving. It is expressing and sharing opinions and emotions with each other when wanting to exchange problems of your own, counterparty or both, problems of specific incident or subject, and emotions. 

The conversation is not one-way but two-way communication. If you speak one-way straight and if your counterparty only listens to you only, it is not a conversation but communication that just delivers what you think to the counterparty. The conversation is to make mutual psychological operations with each other by delivering speeches, actions, and facial expressions by the conscious and the unconscious. Results of these psychological operations become the mediation of opinions, and emotions occur. This is the result of the psychology of conversation and the principle of conversation. 

Therefore, the conversation is the core means of psychological operations. The purposes of having conversations are negotiations of opinions and exchanges of emotions. You must understand that the opinions and emotions coexist and that the methods of conversations change depending on the purpose of having conversations. 

Conversations for negotiating opinions are preferred by men because they have standards based on opinions, values, and ideas and judge right or wrong very well about opinions. So, they perceive conversations as the process of negotiating opinions even if they have very negative emotions to each other. However, women prefer conversations for exchanging emotions because they think conversations are the means of psychological operations and think that they can stabilize and treat their psychology through exchanges of emotions and resolve problems. Women prefer conversations based on emotions rather than opinions because they have the mind of standards of emotions. 

Conversations have two purposes, which are the negotiation of opinions and the exchange of emotions; it is necessary to choose one of the two. Without knowing how these two purposes operate, it is impossible to understand the psychology of conversation. Thus, when having conversations for problem-solving, whether to negotiate opinions or to resolve emotional problems must be decided. 

Let's assume that you are having a conversation about the success of your business for example. If emotions are included when talking about the success of the business, your emotions would come first rather than the success of the business. So, the psychology that you don't mind about the business but mind only about your feelings will operate. If opinions and emotions are not separated, the purpose of having a conversation would be lost. 

Therefore, the purpose, whether it is going to aim for negotiating opinions or it is going to aim for exchanging emotions, must be decided when having a conversation.

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The Conversation is the Process of Exchanging Emotions and Negotiating Opinions

 

The conversation is an important means in human relationships when exchanging emotions and opinions of each other. Psychology is expressed outward in forms of speeches and actions by habits; when it is perceived, it is perceived by the thoughts of the conscious through sensory organs of the body. At this point, the process of expressing psychology by speeches and accepting as thoughts through sensory organs is called conversation. 

The conversation has direct impacts on human psychology since it is the process of negotiating opinions and emotions by expressing one's own psychology to the counterparty and through psychological operations each other by accepting the counterparty's psychology. Ultimately, the conversation is a critical factor in every psychology of human relationships since the psychology of conversation is psychological operations about emotions being occurred in the process of having conversations. 

There's a saying, 'watch out your speeches and actions especially in close relationships.' It is because habits, the unconscious, operate when speeches and actions are made in close relationships; this causes unintended speeches and actions. The counterparty will accept the unintended speeches and actions as thoughts of the conscious and think that they are made on purpose. This is called the error of psychological perception (the error of psychological operations). Thus, the major cause of the occurrence of negative emotions from conversations in closer relationships is the error of psychological perception (the error of psychological operations). 

The process of conversation is that one expresses one's own emotions through speeches, actions, and facial expressions by habits and that the counterparty accepts these expressions as thoughts of the conscious through sensory organs and vice versa. At this point, the operation of habits can be controlled by the conscious, but it can be expressed by habits regardless of the conscious.  This is the same for both oneself and the counterparty. 

The more intimate a relationship is, the more the conversation expresses emotions through speeches, actions, and facial expressions which are the habits of the unconscious; due to this, one will express emotions through speeches, actions, and facial expressions that are unintended. The counterparty will accept one's expressions through sensory organs as thoughts of the conscious, which causes 'the error of psychological perception or the error of psychological operations' thinking that the expressions are made intendedly. The vice versa is also the same. 

Therefore, about the speeches, actions, and facial expressions of the unconscious that are not intended, the counterparty will accept them as intended speeches, actions, and facial expressions; one will think the speeches, actions, and facial expressions of the unconscious as intended speeches, actions, and facial expressions. This means that emotions might be delivered incorrectly to both sides through conversations by the error of psychological perception (or the error of psychological operation). The psychology of conversations must be analyzed accurately for this reason. Although speeches and actions can be recognized by self even though they are made unconsciously, facial expressions cannot be recognized by self. Thus, in most cases, facial expressions can become the main cause of negative emotions occurred in conversations.

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The Means of Conversation

 

There are some means of conversations. Because the conversation is the method of psychological operations, psychological expressions (habits like speeches, actions, and facial expression operate unconsciously) and psychological perception (thoughts of the conscious operate through 5 sensory organs) are at work as psychology operates. This is the methods of conversation with the purpose of exchanging emotions. By speeches, actions, and facial expression, emotions are intervened. 

In the method of conversation for negotiating opinions, the conversations will be operations of only thoughts and memories without emotions included. Simply saying, only the conscious will operate. In this case, opinions are expressed mostly through writings. So, speeches and actions express emotions and are used for conversation when exchanging emotions whereas writings are the means of conversation when exchanging opinions. Therefore, depending on circumstances, environments, and purposes of conversations, the right means and methods are supposed to be chosen. 

Speeches, actions, and facial expressions are just methods of expressing psychology, which is one's own emotion, whereas writings are the methods of expressing opinions since the counterparty thinks about one's thoughts through the conscious. If opinions are delivered only through writings, misunderstandings could occur by one's own guesses on the counterparty's intention since visible expressions such as voices, actions, and facial expressions are missing. That is to say, regardless of self, emotions are occurred by the counterparty. 

Moreover, there are things called emoticons among writings; since these emoticons express facial expressions in forms of texts, they are perceived as visual information and can express emotions partially. Emoticons and characters are used a lot in online chats and games since they can express one's own emotions to the counterparty accurately when exchanging writings. 

Speeches, actions, and facial expressions are the means of psychological expressions. When one makes psychological expressions, his or her counterparty will integrate the expressions, accept them to the conscious, and perceive them distortedly. For example, if you are saying bad words with a big, happy smile to your counterparty and if your counterparty is blocking his or her ears, what do you think how the counterparty would accept this situation? Think about which kind of emotions, whether positive emotions or negative emotions, would occur to your counterparty. The counterparty is more likely to think and perceive the information distortedly. This is the error of psychological perception and the error of thoughts. 

If opinions and emotions are integrated during conversations, oneself and the counterparty could have distorted emotions about each other's expression. Therefore, the possibility of having an emotional confrontation is going to increase if emotions come first rather than opinions when having conversations. 

Since opinions and emotions can occur simultaneously in conversations, it would be good to use writings when exchanging opinions and use speeches, actions, and facial expression when exchanging emotions. If opinions and emotions need to be exchanged at the same time, it would be better if the means of conversations can be interconnected.

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Emotions and Opinions

 

If you look into a specific incident or subject when having conversations, it is always separated into opinions and emotions. Opinions about the incident and subject and emotions about the incident and subject coexist. At this point, opinions are very objective, are based on knowledge, and operate by learned experiences, various memories & thoughts of oneself. On the other hand, emotions are very subjective and operate according to emotions you remember and your habits. 

If the counterparty's opinions cause negative emotions to you in the process of being expressed, your emotions won't be good even if you agree with the counterparty's opinions. Your reactions will be negative. If the counterparty's opinions cause positive emotions to you in the process of being expressed, you will view the opinions positively no matter what they are. Thus, when exchanging opinions, emotions decide whether the opinions will be accepted positively or whether they are going to be accepted negatively. 

If positive emotions are formed due to the intervention of emotions, opinions that used to be very different become same. In other words, the operations of each individual's emotions are put before the objectivity of opinions. Instead of asking further explanations for the counterparty's opinions or asking whether the opinions are correct or wrong, the opinions become united fairly easily. In general, this is mass psychology and used a lot in propagandas and incitements. If phenomena like this occur, the same emotions will be maximized, allowing to secure the similarity, which could be an advantage. However, adjusting opinions won't be possible; due to this, the possibility of having problems is very high. The legal, ethical, moral standards of opinions won't be important matters to be considered. 

If people have different emotions during conversations, they will eventually end up trying to oppose and win emotionally with each other. It is because of the principles of occurrence of emotions. Positive emotions will be generated for you if opinions suit your emotional standards, but your counterparty will have negative emotions generated. It is the same vice-versa. 

Thus, due to emotional confrontations, you and your counterparty will only try to oppose to each other. If problems occur at this point, you two will blame each other and think that each of you didn't do anything wrong. In the end, emotional confrontations and fights last endlessly because there is no understanding and consideration for each other. 

On the other hand, in circumstances where emotions are excluded, it is not that difficult to resolve problems and adjust opinions since all of these are done objectively only by one's own knowledge and experiences regardless of whether the opinions are same or not. If emotions are exchanges after adjusting opinions this way, not only emotional exchanges will be more comfortable but also positive emotions will be generated to both sides. That is to say, understanding and consideration can be easily done. Therefore, when having conversations that require adjusting opinions and exchanging emotions at the same time, adjusting opinions must be done first before emotions get exchanged if you want to have enough conversations.

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Psychology of Conversation

 

Men and women perceive conversations differently. Because of this, emotional confrontations occur if they do not understand the difference between their perception of conversations. About 10 % of the causes of emotional confrontation is this. 

About having conversations, men perceive it as problems and reject to have conversations as negative emotions are aroused due to the operations of stress. On the other hand, women perceive conversation as problem-solving because it operates as consolation, and they have positive emotions aroused. Things mentioned above are only for men and women with normal psychology. 

However, if they have abnormal psychology, men will get positive emotions since they perceive having conversations as problem-solving whereas women get stress since they will perceive it as a problem. This is the conflict and fight caused by the men and women's different perception of conversations. Thus, fights caused by problems of different perceptions of conversations will be decreased if how the counterparty perceives the conversations is understood. 

Just for a reference, conversation and communication are different. The conversation includes psychological operations as one exchanges his or her opinions and emotions with his or her counterparty whereas communication does not include psychological operations. Also, both animals and human beings can make communications, but conversations which include psychological operations can be only done by human beings. 

As for conversations, men and women perceive them differently. It is the process of resolving problems, but men perceive conversations as stress since they perceive them as problems. Negative emotions are created unknowingly. So, men do not like to have vague conversations. On the other hand, women perceive conversations as consolation and resolution because they perceive them as the process of problem-solving. So, they are positive about having vague conversations. 

This phenomenon happens because conversations are perceived as the exchange of emotions. Conversations for exchanging opinions generate positive emotions to men; this is why men become very talkative when they have talks. However, they do not like having emotions included in conversations. Having conversations with women for exchanging emotions generate positive emotions. 

If a man is told to have a conversation without getting a specific subject, he will get stress as negative emotions will be generated. When he is told 'let's have a talk,' he thinks 'why does that person want to have a talk with me? what is the problem?' Without a specific subject provided, having a conversation will cause him great stress. On the other hand, if a woman is told 'let's have a talk,' she will think of it as the process of problem-solving about things she's interested in even when she doesn't know what the subject of the conversation would be. Because of this, positive emotions are generated. 

Men do not get stress when having conversations if they are given a specific subject of the conversation that they have in advance whereas women can have positive emotions generated without knowing the subject of the conversation they will have. Moreover, if a woman has a conversation that is different from the subject that she was told in advance or if the result of conversations does not meet her expectation, negative emotions will be generated. Simply saying, very negative results would come out in these cases. Thus, it would be better to not mention specific subject or resolutions in advance when trying to have conversations with a woman since she might be disappointed after having conversations and end up having negative emotions. 

In summary, men do not have negative emotions of stress when having conversations if he is told what the conversation would be about in advance whereas women do not need to be provided with the subject of conversations they will have. 

Like this, men get stress as they perceive conversations as problems; positive emotions are generated for women as they perceive conversations as problem-solving.

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Methods of Conversation

 

Since men and women are different in perceiving conversations and methods of conversations, the methods of conversations must be understood in order to have smooth conversations when talking to each other. 

When men and women having conversations, contents for problem-solving must be handled first for men. Regardless of problems, they must be provided with the problem-solving methods first; the contents of the problems must be dealt with in detail. Then, men can continue on having conversations comfortably without getting stress because the conclusion for problem-solving has already been handled. 

On the other hand, women need to know the contents of problems first rather than problem-solving. problems-solving is not that important matter for women. The causes and process of problems and etc. must be analyzed in detail. Then, women can have comfortable conversations without being wounded. 

So, men need to be provided with the results of the conversation first before being explained the related contents to them. Then, they need to understand and be considerate of the process of problems. In other words, since the contents that are related to problem-solving are what matters to them, it is important to understand and be considerate even if the overall contents are missing. Thus, women must know that it is important to let men clearly know about the result and resolution first before explaining the process of problems in detail to them. However, women must understand the process of problems accurately in order to find resolutions for the problems. Men must understand and be considerate about this matter. 

If a man talks about results first, he must be understood that he will explain the process in detail later. Discussing or negotiating is easy when there are results come out. Women must understand that men get stress from discussing problems without having results. Results or resolutions must be provided first so that they can make decisions and pursue future happiness before analyzing causes, right and wrong, emotions, and problems. Then, men won't get stress when having conversations. 

However, women need the process of problem-solving due to their desire for resolving problems. Simply saying, they need to know and understand every single of the problems. The contents of problems including causes of problems, right and wrong, and other issues must be explained to them. 

Both men and women need to understand how the psychology of conversation or results of perceiving problems are being applied. At this point, understanding means knowing the counterparty's psychology accurately, not one's own thoughts. Consideration is to apply what is understood about the counterparty by acting to meet the counterparty's thoughts. 

However, most people are certain that their thoughts and misunderstand that the counterparty will have the same thoughts. This is not understanding. They do not know the differences between men and women; even if they know there are differences, they do not know exactly what is different. That is to say, understanding and consideration cannot be made without understanding one's own and the counterparty's psychology. 

What matters the most important in methods of conversation is understanding and considering the counterparty. Understanding and being considerate about the counterparty is the method of conversation. When having conversations like this, both of them will have positive emotions and feel happy. If not, the conversations will cause negative emotions.

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The Difference in Perception of Problems

 

Men and women perceive problems of the past differently.  Every problem related to various things like conjugal problems, family problem, sex trouble, etc. in the past keep lasting unless they are resolved. These problems keep proliferating unless they are resolved. If they are not resolved, they will be remembered as wounds for women whereas men won't be able to remember these problems. It is because women remember wounds, which are negative emotions whereas men cannot remember the stress, which is also the negative feelings. 

Perception of psychology is recognized by thoughts; expression of psychology is made through habits, which are speeches, actions, and facial expressions. So, psychological expressions about problems are made unknowingly whereas counterparty's expressions related to problems are remembered very well. When problems occur, both oneself and the counterparty don't know their problems because they make expressions by the unconscious. 

A man and a woman need to have a talk with each other in the process of problem-solving, but problems are not easy to be resolved since the man perceives having conversations as problems whereas the woman perceive conversations as resolution. Because they perceive conversations differently, emotional confrontation is unavoidable without knowing the core of problems. The problems would rather be enlarged. 

A man perceives conjugal problems, family problems, sex troubles, etc. as problems. So, if a woman tries to have a talk about problems with him, he will either avoid or reject having conversations because stress, which is the negative feelings, is aroused since he perceives the conversation itself as raising a problem. Due to this, the woman gets wounded psychologically whereas the man avoids and forgets the problems. 

As time passes, the man will think there is no problem. He will not allow the woman to speak a word about problems because talking about the problems itself is a great stress for him. It is very natural for him thinking that there is no problem because he cannot remember the negative feelings. However, the woman speaks that she needs to talk about the problems since she thinks the problems will be resolved through having conversations. This is very natural for her thinking that problems have not been resolved yet because she still remembers the negative emotions. Since men and women have different systems of memory and perception as mentioned above, it is difficult to resolve problems such as conjugal problems, family problems, sex troubles, etc. through conversations. 

If a man is told to have a cup of coffee together, he won't perceive it as a problem. Having a conversation with him would be naturally done because he just thinks it's a matter of having a cup of coffee. However, if he is told to have a talk without letting him know what the subject would be, stress will be aroused as he perceives it as raising a problem. That is why men do not like having conversations without knowing the subject. 

Men cannot remember the negative feelings of stress by rejecting conversations due to operations of rejection defense mechanism towards the stress whereas women remember negative emotions well by accepting conversations since they accept and treat the negative emotions due to operations of acceptance defense mechanism. So, men and women perceive conversations and problems so differently. 

Thus, Men cannot remember various problems of the past whereas women remember them well.

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Confrontation of Emotions

 

The main causes of fights between a married couple or emotional fights are differences in perception of conversation, errors of memory of emotions, and errors of psychological operations. If any of these 3 faces problems, emotional confrontations are unavoidable. The 3 kinds of problems mentioned above always occur between married couples and within families since these relationships are loving relationships. Thus, fights cannot be avoidable. 

If two people have frequent fights like quarrels, that means they love each other deeply; however, in cases of using abusive languages and having violence, serious problems might be aroused in human relationships. Since human beings do not understand the causes of emotional confrontations, they cannot understand each other and but keep exchanging wounds by constant and repetitive fights. 

If a couple never has fights, that means the couple has very serious problems. It could be either that one person suppresses himself or herself or that the couple is not interested in each other. Ultimately, couples without fights have either unhealthy relationships or serious problems. 

When looking into cases when human beings have emotional fights, 10 % of them is caused by the different perception of conversations, another 10 % is caused by errors of memory of emotions, and the remaining 80 % is caused by errors of psychological operations. 

Confrontations of emotions due to these 3 reasons could occur to anyone; thus, it must be understood that more than 90 % of negative emotions one has towards his or her counterparty are actually different from the facts. 

Fights between a married couple are the most representative confrontations of emotions.  The relationship has no other option than getting worse as each other's emotions are opposing. It is the same regardless of whether the fights are between a man and a woman or between the same genders since the causes of confrontations of emotion are the difference in perception of conversations, errors of memory of emotions, and error of psychological operations. Emotional fights and confrontations are unavoidable if any of these 3 faces problems. 

Let's go over about confrontations of emotions by the difference in perception of conversations first. Men either avoid or reject having conversations since they perceive conversations as problems that generate negative feelings, the stress. Women, on the other hand, want to have conversations because they perceive conversations as problem-solving which generates good emotions. If a man rejects or makes expressions that show that he doesn't want to have conversations through speeches, actions, or facial expressions when a woman wants to have a talk, the woman will have negative emotions resulting in emotional confrontations. About 10 % of emotional confrontations are caused by this; this usually occurs between a man and a woman. 

Second is confrontations of emotions by errors of memory of emotions. Men cannot remember negative emotions but remember positive emotions whereas women remember negative emotions, not positive ones. So, men think women wouldn't also remember negative emotions; women think that men would remember negative emotions. Their perceptions are different from the actual. This is called 'the error of memory of emotion' and could happen to anyone. This is not wrong. People just don't know about this. 

Therefore, men get stress from women who remember negative emotions; women get stress and wounds from men who do not remember negative emotions. Men and women cannot avoid emotional confrontations due to errors in memory of negative emotions. The error of memory of emotions takes up 10 % of emotional confrontations. 

The third is emotional confrontations by errors of psychological operations. Psychological expressions are made by the unconscious, but perceptions are made by the conscious. When one makes psychological expressions unconsciously whereas the counterparty perceives these expressions by the conscious. So, one cannot remember the speeches and actions he or she made, but the counterparty remembers them very well. 

As a result, when problems occur, people blame each other because of this. This is 'the error of psychological operations.' That is to say, this phenomenon happens because the person who has mad expressions unconsciously cannot remember what he or she said or did whereas the counterparty perceives by the conscious (thoughts) and remembers them. Emotional confrontations caused by errors of psychological operations occur so frequently that they take up more than about 80% of the entire confrontations of emotions. This happens in most human relationships.

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Intimate Human Relationship

 

Psychological operations are inevitable in human relationships; errors of human relationships could occur to anybody. About 80% of emotional confrontations occur very often because we do not understand each other as these psychological operations are not understood. 

When having psychological operations, one expresses his or her emotions by habits, which are the unconscious whereas the counterparty accepts the expressed emotions by the conscious. The counterparty also perceives his or her counterparty's expressions by the conscious whereas he or she expresses his or her emotions by his or her own habits. These are called psychological operations and happen more obviously in loving and intimate human relationships. 

When one expresses his or her emotions in forms of speeches, actions, and facial expressions by habits, the unconscious, his or her counterparty will accept the expressed emotions through thoughts and think that these expressions are made on purpose. This is the same in the opposite way as well. 

Therefore, we blame each other when problems occur in human relationships. Although the counterparty did not intentionally make expressions, one thinks that the expressions are made on purpose. It is because that one remembers the speeches, actions, and facial expressions that he or she has made less than 10% but remembers more than 90% of the speeches, actions, and facial expressions made by the counterparty. 

Intimate human relationships can be relationships with the person one loves, close friends, people who have made oneself feel comfortable for a long time, etc. The parent-child relationship, husband-wife relationship, family relationships, and relationships among friends can be examples of intimate human relationships. 

In intimate human relationships, psychological expressions are made in forms of speeches, actions, and facial expressions unconsciously by habits. Then, the counterparty integrates the expressed psychology and perceives it by the conscious. The counterparty then expresses his or herself in forms of speeches, actions, and facial expression by habits, the unconscious as well, which makes oneself integrate and perceive the expressions by the conscious. Expressing and perceiving psychological operations made by each other circulate in this way. 

One and his or her counterparty use the unconscious, which is habits, when making psychological expressions; whereas they use the conscious, which is thoughts, for psychological perceptions. When looking into the memory of emotions at this point, men cannot remember negative emotions but remember positive one whereas women remember negative emotions but cannot remember positive ones. This is why men and women have different psychological operations. 

These phenomena occur for sure for loving relationships and old-intimate relationships. When looking into circulation structures of intimate human relationships, positive psychological expressions are not that problematic but negative expressions of psychology cause problems. Since expressions are made by the unconscious and perceived by the conscious, expressions made by the counterparty unconsciously are perceived by the conscious making them misunderstood that they were made on purpose. These phenomena occur to both sides causing them to blame each other. That is to say, it happens because they are in an intimate human relationship. They oppose each other emotionally since they do not understand this process clearly and are certain that all of these are caused by each other. Simply saying, misunderstandings are unavoidable. 

Distorted errors occur like this; this is because expressions and perceptions are different. One perceives expressions made by his or her counterparty distortedly and misunderstands them due to the thoughts that accept the expressions. One can think his or her thoughts are certain, but it is, in fact, the same as misunderstanding the counterparty's expressions because that these expressions are made by the unconscious, not by the conscious is not known.

Therefore, more than 99% of the thoughts about counterparties in intimate relationships are distorted and wrong. Regardless of the truth of counterparties, the possibility that one could think distortedly about and misunderstand them is about 99%.

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