[Infidelity Therapy] The psychology of people who discover husband infidelity

     There are some cases when husband infidelity is discovered by people around the couple. It can be discovered by people due to the husband's mistake or the revelation by the victimized wife. When family members discover husband infidelity, the husband remains as the one who inflicted great psychological damage unless he is properly treated and restores healthy relationships. Then, the husband stays as a stranger to other family members. 

     It is important to analyze the psychology of people who discover the husband infidelity. The husband has already developed relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder. He ends up destroying all human relationships and his own life by developing a serious condition of response addiction or intermittent explosive disorder. People who stay close to the husband are also considered to have developed psychological disorders. People who have normal psychology become to sever the relationship with the husband since they are perceived as stress by the husband. 

     People who are close to the victimized wife aggravate their psychology as they share the pain of the wife's post traumatic stress. They try to make the wife feel comfortable and have fun expediting the progress of her condition. Men who stay close to the wife even when they know about the husband infidelity are the ones who are also in relationship addiction. They may try to perceive the wife's expressions as sexual responses. They may try to take advantage of the wife and her family members. They think that it is OK to take advantage the wife and children since the husband has already deserted them. 

     They may develop the sense of superiority over the husband in infidelity and even think that they can take care of the wife better than the husband in infidelity. They may try to make the wife become an adulteress. They may also try to stay close to the husband thinking that they may have a chance for infidelity or some financial gain.

     Women who stay close to the husband in infidelity knowing that he is in infidelity may be having an affair themselves or ready to commit infidelity. They think that the victimized wife is stupid and they can become a better partner than the wife. They also think that they can make profit by staying close to the husband and even try to commit infidelity themselves. They may develop the sense of superiority over the wife. 

     Women who empathize with the victimized wife may get vicarious satisfaction. They may tell everyone about the husband infidelity feeling fun and satisfaction. They may feel sorry for the wife and believe that they will never live like her. 

     People who discover about the husband infidelity can become dangerous people to be around. The husband in infidelity and the victimized wife do not realize that those people are dangerous. The husband must treat relationship addiction and restore healthy relationships. The victimized wife must treat post traumatic stress and protect herself and children. They must take KIP Treatment to adequately address the issue. 

     First and foremost, the wife and the husband must not let anyone know about the husband infidelity. When the wife talks to people about the husband infidelity to feel better and get advice, they cannot but sever the relationship with them after she treats her condition.

https://youtu.be/JcmSssxuCPo

                          

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[Infidelity Therapy] Do not make efforts to restore marriage relationship upon the discovery of spouse infidelity.

      People who have developed relationship addiction and committed infidelity pursue their own comfort and pleasure and don't care about other people's well-being and happiness. They do not hesitate to destroy anything that obstruct their comfort and pleasure and they only maintain relationships that do not get in their way. Relationships include marriage relationship and parent-child relationship. Then, can you live with people who have a psychological disorder that destroys human relationships?

     The spouse in infidelity has become a person who cannot maintain normal relationships with people. That is, he or she has become someone you cannot live with. However, it is not recommended that you sever the relationship with the spouse in infidelity right now. That is, you must not get a divorce just yet since there is a chance to recover. 

     Victimized spouses usually develop post traumatic stress. When post traumatic stress is neglected without being adequately treated, or the negative energy is directed to destructing the self and others, the condition deteriorates and victimized spouses can become more destructive than the spouse in infidelity. They may feel comfortable in a while after suffering from excruciating pain, which only indicates that their condition has deteriorated, and then, they actively begin to destroy themselves, their spouse, their children, and the whole family. 

     It is very difficult to live with the spouse in post traumatic stress or in relationship addiction. As the couple try to live together having psychological disorders, their conditions only get aggravated. Developing post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity is the manifestation of the mind being activated for recovering and restoring happiness. Therefore, it is imperative that you should treat post traumatic stress before anything whether your spouse in infidelity continues affair, comes home, leaves home, or whatever.          

     Not paying attention to the spouse in infidelity is completely different from accepting infidelity. Not paying attention to the spouse in infidelity is recommended since it stops both relationship addiction and post traumatic stress from progressing. You must focus on treating your condition and restoring happiness ability. You must build a healthy environment where you and your children can live happily again keeping some distance from the spouse in infidelity. When you have built a healthy environment for your family regardless of the spouse in infidelity, the spouse may decide to treat relationship addiction to be able to live with you and children. That is, the spouse can have an opportunity to treat relationship addiction only then. 

     Spouses in infidelity may realize that they were in the wrong and deeply regret their behaviors. They may be grateful for the opportunity and join the happy family. Trying on practical measures to maintain marriage relationship can wait until you treat post traumatic stress and restore happiness ability. 

https://youtu.be/eebxyLJf6Hw

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[Infidelity Therapy] What the adulteress misunderstands about the adulterer

 

     The woman who commits infidelity may justify her affair believing that she is in love with the partner. She may think that her partner is also in love with her and believes him when he says he doesn't love his wife. Could it be true?

1. The woman in infidelity is in love with the partner. 

     Infidelity is caused by relationship addiction. Men become addicted to women's responses and women become addicted to men's attention. All addictions are accompanied by obsession when they cannot get immersed into the object of addiction. They feel as if they would die when they cannot get immersed into the object of addiction. People in infidelity do not realize that they have the condition of addiction, so they mistake their obsession for response and attention for love. They believe that they cannot live without the current partner, but when they part from each other and change partner, they repeat the same process of being obsessed and getting immersed into the partner's response and attention. Infidelity is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder or addiction. 

2. The man in infidelity is in love with the partner. 

     The man in infidelity is usually cheerful, nice, and sweet. He looks like a very good person. He especially gives a lot of attention to the woman partner so that he can get responses he wants from the woman partner, among which having sex is usually the most important. That is, the man in infidelity does everything because he needs to achieve his own pleasure, and not because he loves the woman partner. 

3. The man in infidelity does not love his wife. 

     No man in infidelity would say to the adulteress that he is in love with his wife. This is because he cannot succeed in having an affair if he says that he loves his wife but he just wants to have fun with the adulteress. Married couples may look like they love each other or they are indifferent to each other on the surface. Most married people love their spouses even if they don't show their feelings actively.

     There are two types of love : love recognized in the conscious and love in the unconscious. Married people's love toward their spouse starts as love in the conscious and then is transformed into love in the unconscious. The husband may not recognize that he loves the wife on a daily basis, but he takes responsibility to take care of the wife and children. The husband and the wife have become the major part of each other's life. Thus, the wife does not have to show responses or provide sexual pleasure. The wife is not someone who responds for the husband's fun and pleasure or becomes his sexual object. 

4. The woman in infidelity is the only love of the man in infidelity.

     When the man leaves home, doesn't take care of his family, and seems completely crazy about the adulteress, it only indicates that he is in a serious condition of addiction. He may have such a severe condition that he decides to get a divorce and live with the adulteress. In other words, the woman has welcomed the man who doesn't even have the ability to protect his own family due to a psychological disorder. The woman will have to deal with all his destructive behaviors as his condition deteriorates further, or become an object of pleasure for other men when he loses interest in her and leaves her sooner or later. 

     People who have relationship addiction do not wear labels on their face. Men who have relationship addiction may actually look very attractive to women who have relationship addiction. The woman may feel good when the man gives her attention and consolation as her obsession based on wounds in mimind is relieved. The mechanism of addiction should be clearly distinguished from that of love and happiness even if they look similar on the surface. 

     Any woman who is involved in a toxic relationship must hurry to treat her relationship addiction and transfer to a life that pursues true love and happiness. She can and must learn about the nature of infidelity, treat her wounds in mimind, and restore happiness.

https://youtu.be/U8IRL1-sqaM

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[Infidelity Therapy] Do you want to start a new life after getting a divorce ?

 

     Many women regret their life they have had so far and want to live a new life when they discover husband infidelity. They may get a divorce and start a new live on their own but their post traumatic stress continue to deteriorate even after a divorce. The idea that they will start a new life after getting a divorce comes from the idea that they want to avoid the pain caused by the present situation. 

      The root cause of the pain of spouse infidelity is not the spouse or the spouse infidelity but post traumatic stress. It is impossible to start a new life as far as they keep post traumatic stress even if they get a divorce. They may repeat feeling fine when they have pleasure and feeling pain when they don't. Then, they become to seek more intense pleasure blaming self and others or the society. They cannot get out of the trap of post traumatic stress for the rest of their life no matter what they do. 

     On the other hand, they can start a new life in a true sense when they treat post traumatic stress and build happiness ability. They must realize that they can generate happiness on their own regardless of the external factors and then, they can live a happy life with their children and loved ones. So many people talk about happiness but not many of them tell us about true happiness and how to achieve it. Everyone who takes KIP Treatment says that they wish they had known about the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology earlier. Many of them learned how to generate happiness on their own and turned evils into blessings through the experience of spouse infidelity.

     Every human being has the ability to become happy on their own, but not many people know about it. When you learn about how to generate happiness on your own and practice it, you will live a happy life regardless of your marital status. Experiencing pain in your life does not mean that there is anything wrong with your life itself. You have lived well pursuing happiness and you feel pain because you want to go back to happiness. All you need to do is to rebuild happiness ability and restore happiness in a true sense. 

     You cannot go back to happiness as far as you believe that your whole life went wrong and you want to start a new life only for yourself without treating post traumatic stress. True happiness can be achieved when you take the responsibility as well as the right in human relationships and overcome sorrow and pain. Your life has not been miserable or wrong at all.   It is hoped that you will start a new happy life in a true sense not by avoiding the pain of post traumatic stress but by treating post traumatic stress in the right way. 

https://youtu.be/aFfNPRqTtCc

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[Infidelity Therapy] Who's the bad guy?

 

     The spouse who has committed infidelity may be perceived as 'the bad guy' to the victimized spouse. However, it is not only the spouse in infidelity who contributes to the collapse of many people. The spouse in infidelity has done wrong and caused the victimized spouse post traumatic stress, but he or she is also the victim of psychological disorder. The social atmosphere that does not recognize infidelity as a psychological disorder blocks them from realizing their fault and treating their condition in the right way. 

     Experts' opinions that relate infidelity with love, pleasure, sexual instinct, emotional or physiological issues become the device that distorts the nature of infidelity and advocates infidelity. The same applies to defining and perceiving post traumatic stress of the victimized spouse. Experts who misinterpret the nature of infidelity and disseminate distorted ideas without understanding the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology must be held responsible for their misguidance. People who promote distorted ideas through mass media and social media for their own selfish purposes are also 'the bad guy'. More influential people contribute more to aggravating the condition of psychological disorders of people involved in infidelity issues. 

     There are many other people who fall under the category of 'the bad guy'. Lawyers who talk people into divorce and lawsuits, psychology counselors who help aggravate psychological conditions by encouraging changing practical and superficial matters in marriage relationship, doctors who encourage plastic surgery and the modification of sexual organs, and anyone who encourages pleasure seeking of all types belong here.

     Those who empathize with you would never take responsibility for dire consequences you may have to face. They lead innocent people to aggravate their psychological condition and destroy their lives. Even those who give you consolation and warm advice as friends and acquaintances may contribute to destroying yourself and your family.

      Of all the bad guys, the worst is yourself who do not save yourself from the crisis. Not making efforts to treat post traumatic stress in the right way is likened to not trying to go to the hospital and treat yourself even when you are bleeding badly. When you don't save yourself and become dependent on things or people to cap your pain, your children are also exposed to danger and adversity. As parents activate and express negative emotions toward children, they also get stress and wounds and their psychology deteriorates. 

     The victimized spouse of infidelity can treat their post traumatic stress and restore happiness or destroy themselves and children with their own hands. If you destroy yourself and your children, you also become 'the bad guy'. If you want to restore happiness and protect your children, you must move heaven and earth on your own. You must treat post traumatic stress in the right way before anything and build happiness ability. It is recommended that you become the one who guards and protects you and your family, not 'the bad guy'. 

https://youtu.be/Tvk0Qhvk4yI

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[Infidelity Therapy] The fastest way to get out of pain of spouse infidelity

 

     The victimized spouse of spouse infidelity suffers from the excruciating pain that is beyond imagination. It is the pain of all life experiences of the past and the present and the hope of the future collapsing at one blow, and of the heart being torn apart alive. Such is the pain of post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity. However, there is a fast and unfailing way to get out of this unbearable pain. It is to kill your mind with your own hands. 

     The pain of post traumatic stress results from the operation of the mind that tries to restore happiness. When the mind becomes dysfunctional, you may not sense the pain of post traumatic stress any more. Surprisingly, many victimized spouses of infidelity fall for the work of destroying their own mind. 

     At first, they may make efforts to restore happiness keeping the unbearable pain. In this process, not many people understand that they have to restore their own happiness by treating their own condition since both the pain and the happiness reside in their own mind. Most people try to restore their happiness by changing the external environment and the partner. As they make efforts in the wrong direction, their psychological condition deteriorates and their mind keeps being destroyed.

     Then, their rage, pain, and despair grow even more. When they reach the point where they cannot manage or cope any more, they begin to try to avoid the pain and seek comfort and pleasure. Here again, many people mistake their effort to seek comfort and pleasure for effort for happiness. 

     Happiness is the emotion you recognize when you treat and overcome wounds in mimind. You cannot become happy when you keep avoiding the pain of post traumatic stress. Many people mistake capping the pain of post traumatic stress and getting immersed into moods of pleasure for happiness. Then, your psychological condition keeps deteriorating inside you and your mind is destroyed. The mind will lose its normal and healthy function, which allows us to function as healthy and normal people in human relationships. 

     When your mind is destroyed, you will sense neither the pain in your mind nor the emotion of true happiness. You will only be able to sense the pleasure through the stimulation of sensory organs. The sense of pleasure is temporary and achieved only in the presence of sensory stimulation, so you cannot stop seeking positive sensory stimulation and become to want higher level of pleasure as you adapt yourself to the current level. 

     When you are blocked from recognizing pleasure, you must recognize the pain of post traumatic stress again, so you will do anything to maintain the moods of pleasure. You will not hesitate to destroy anything that blocks you from seeking pleasure and makes you feel negative moods.

     You will not hesitate to attack and destroy people who used to build happiness together. The first target is likely to be your children. You may of course attack and destroy people around you who have healthy and normal function of mind and get in the way of your pleasure seeking. As you and people around you keep being destroyed, you will actually recognize more pleasure and excitement in the conscious. 

     The most intense pleasure of all is sexual pleasure. People who have their mind completely destroyed tend to pursue sexual pleasure at all costs. You may think that it can never happen to you, which indicates that you still have the healthy mind even though you are in pain. However, you are bound to follow suit of those people unless your post traumatic stress is treated properly. 

     No one tries to destroy their mind from the first. They just choose to get out of pain and live since they cannot stand it. To make matters worse, people around them including so-called experts contribute to expediting this process of collapse. Any advice of people who don't understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology cannot but lead you to cap the pain of post traumatic stress and pursue pleasure over happiness. 

     All human beings are entitled to feeling the whole range of emotions including fun and pleasure. However, they must be based not on post traumatic stress but on healthy mind and psychology. You can choose to get out of pain of post traumatic stress quickly and easily and live only seeking moods of pleasure through sensory stimulation. Then, you will not hesitate to destroy other people and all human relationships, either. Which way would you choose to take?

https://youtu.be/fXPGNURAno8

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[Infidelity Therapy] Never believe speech and actions of people in infidelity

 

You must never believe speech and actions of people in infidelity since they are in the condition of psychological disorders. Your spouse in infidelity may ask for forgiveness and promise he or she will never commit infidelity again. They mean what they say at the moment of their saying it. However, they say and act only in the way that pleases them as soon as they are in a different situation. They say whatever they say and do whatever they do in order to avoid stress and wounds at the moment.

It doesn't mean that people in infidelity are mean and shameless. They cannot but say and act differently in different situations since they have developed both perception disorder and expression disorder. They destroy precious human relationships by absurd and irrational speech and actions without realizing what they are doing being affected by their consciousness disorder. Their spouses develop post traumatic stress and suffer from the pain of death. 

Recognizing pain and difficulties due to post traumatic stress indicates that they have not developed psychological disorders yet. However, as they feel comfortable temporarily every time they express their wounds and wounds grow in the process, their post traumatic stress gets aggravated and they begin to destroy human relationships. This mechanism explains why you must stop expressing wounds and take up treatment in the right way when you suffer from post traumatic stress. 

It is absolutely natural that people who have developed post traumatic stress recognize excruciating pain. It is abnormal that they should not feel pain when their happiness and whole life are on the verge of collapse at one blow. Post traumatic stress deteriorates when they pay attention to speech and actions of the spouse in infidelity and try to believe or understand them. People in infidelity have developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder. Paying attention to them and trying to understand them lead you to also develop a psychological disorder. 

The more you express wounds based on post traumatic stress to the spouse in infidelity, the more absurd and irrational speech and actions your spouse will also make to get out of the stressful situation. Then, you will become to pay attention to, try to understand, and even believe them entering the vicious cycle and aggravating psychological conditions of both parties. As time passes without treating post traumatic stress in the right way, post traumatic stress keeps deteriorating no matter what you do to get out of it. 

Expressing wounds and feeling more and more comfortable indicates that your mind has already been destroyed and you are destroying precious relationships. When your condition deteriorates even further, you may feel pleasure instead of pain. Then, you may end up living a worse life than people in infidelity destroying yourself and people around you. 

When spouse infidelity occurs, you must treat post traumatic stress and get out of pain in a true sense instead of pressing your spouse into begging for forgiveness and promising faithfulness. After all, speech and actions of people in infidelity are not to be trusted. You know deep inside yourself that they are not to be trusted, but you are just trying to become comfortable by seeing and hearing what you want to see and hear. Please, remember that all your attempts to get out of pain without treating post traumatic stress in the right way only leads to a tragic ending for everyone involved.

https://youtu.be/3Jyvb7qCfKU

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[Infidelity Therapy] Men who miss the ex-wife after getting married to the adulteress

 

Men miss their ex-wife after getting married to the adulteress when they have difficulty in the current marriage life. They also feel they miss their ex-wife when the current wife who used to be their adulteress does not give them as much as responses as they want, they are caught cheating on the current wife, or when they think that their ex-wife was better than the current wife many ways. 

It is not uncommon for men to commit infidelity with their ex-wife after getting married to the adulteress. Then, the current wife and the ex-wife develop an advanced form of psychological disorder and hysteria. Some men get a divorce again and remarry the ex-wife. Then, the husband, the ex-wife, and the adulteress cannot but live a destructive life with an advanced psychological disorder and collapse sooner or later. The saddest situation is where children suffer a lot and they also end up living an unhappy or a destructive life. 

All these phenomena result from the deterioration of psychological conditions of people involved. Things only get worse when the husband does not treat his relationship addiction. Men with relationship addiction may try to destroy marriage relationship whenever the wife does not give them responses they want. 

When men or women who develop relationship addiction or post traumatic stress during the first marriage and get a divorce without treating their condition, they necessarily end up jeopardizing their life after the divorce whether they get remarried or not. They may pursue only momentary pleasure day by day whether they get a divorce or remarry.

You must treat relationship addiction and post traumatic stress whether you are thinking about getting a divorce, in the process of getting a divorce, or have already got a divorce. Also, a right and effective treatment method must involve the self-treatment method that is based on the accurate operational mechanism and can properly change habits of psychological operation. You and your children can live a happy life only when you treat your psychological condition in the right way.

On the other hand, when you get a divorce without treating relationship addiction and post traumatic stress, problems of habits of psychological operation deteriorate and become to pursue only pleasure including sexual pleasure or to be taken advantage of by people who have selfish purposes. Then, you become to destroy not only your own life but also lives of people around you including your own children's lives. 

Feeling comfortable now does not indicate that your condition has been treated and stabilized. Feeling comfortable when you have developed relationship addiction and post traumatic stress indicates that your condition has deteriorated. Also, feeling the sense of confidence along with relationship addiction and post traumatic stress indicates that your condition has deteriorated a lot. 

 https://youtu.be/vRPIrufbKXc  

        

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[Infidelity Therapy] Should we just get a divorce? We don't even have children.

 

     A couple may admit that they don't love each other any more and decide on a divorce easily since they don't have children. However, whether they have children or not is a less important matter. It is absolutely reasonable to decide on a divorce when a couple do not share a mutual goal in life by staying together and choose to pursue individual happiness separately. However, there are important points to consider when you get a divorce even if you don't have children.  

     Both parties are likely to live an unhappy life when they get a divorce due to infidelity issues or other conflicts without analyzing the fundamental cause or mechanism of their conflicts. They must ask themselves why they have lost love and what they can do to restore happy marriage. Especially, when a divorce is caused by spouse infidelity, the victimized spouse has to live with post traumatic stress and the spouse in infidelity has to live with relationship addiction. Their psychological condition may lead them to destroy themselves and people around them. 

     They can live a happy life after getting a divorce only when they treat their psychological condition of post traumatic stress and relationship addiction. Otherwise, it is almost certain that they will lose the ability to solve problems of life and keep destroying their life. It is irresponsible to just get a divorce and go separate ways without making efforts to restore marriage relationship. Eventually, getting a divorce will cause both parties to live an unhappy life. 

     It is not to say that a married couple cannot or should not get a divorce. Marriage relationship is a relationship where both the husband and the wife have the right and responsibility toward each other. When they cannot generate and maintain love and happiness for each other, they have the right to get a divorce and pursue individual happiness. However, they must make efforts to take responsibility and restore marriage relationship to be able to live happily even after they get a divorce. 

     You must proceed for a divorce in the same way whether you have children or not. It is important to make efforts in the right way regardless of the nature of the problems and conflicts. Building the ability to live happily by restoring healthy psychology is more important than whether to get a divorce or not. 

https://youtu.be/irVrj7juJaI

                                       

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Infidelity Therapy] The spouse in infidelity who demands a divorce

The most foolish person is the one who demands getting a divorce after he or she is caught cheating on the spouse. The next foolish person is the one who gives up on the possibility of restoring marriage and gets a divorce when the spouse in infidelity demands getting a divorce. There are so many couples who get a divorce in this way. Committing infidelity is to discard and give up on happiness. Getting a divorce upon the discovery of infidelity is also to discard the opportunity to live happily all together.

People who have relationship addiction, intermittent explosive disorder, or hysteria justify themselves believing that they can live happily only when they get a divorce whenever they have conflicts with the spouse. They destroy all human relationships throughout their life. They destroy not only marriage relationship but also relationships with their own children and other close people. Then, they only form and maintain abnormal relationships.           

They pursue pleasure with people who have problems in habits of psychology as they do. They feel happier as the counterparty is destroyed and enjoy having fun together in distorted ways. People with normal psychology think that they are the worst kind of people, but they themselves are convinced that they are the best kind of people. 

When they are caught cheating on their spouse and get stressed, they immediately want to get a divorce since they cannot stand the situation. They want a divorce more and more when their psychological condition deteriorates. As relationship addiction deteriorates, their relationships, business, reputation, and wealth are destroyed. They go straight to destroying everything they have without even realizing what they are doing. 

The victimized spouses of spouse infidelity suffer from post traumatic stress. They suffer since they want to restore marriage and protect family. The only person who has the ability to protect family and children and lead the spouse in infidelity to recovery is the wife or the husband who is suffering from post traumatic stress. 

People who have milder conditions of relationship addiction tend to avoid or block stress instead of demanding getting a divorce. They may leave home when they cannot stand stress. When relationship addiction advances and they cannot stand stress, they may begin to demand getting a divorce and destroy themselves and other people. 

Spouses in post traumatic stress and their children are necessarily taken advantage of by other selfish people. People in infidelity throw away their spouses and children to be preyed on by other people to be able to live a pleasurable life. They also throw away their opportunity to recover. Thus, they become the most foolish people. 

People who do not treat their post traumatic stress are also foolish people. When they get a divorce without treating post traumatic stress, they become to be taken advantage of by selfish people. They may mistake being taken advantage of by other people for being happy. They may end up living a worse life than people in infidelity. 

If your spouse in infidelity demands getting a divorce, you don't even have to get angry about it. Your spouse in infidelity is announcing that he or she wants to destroy their own life. The spouse who is suffering from post traumatic stress is the only person who can save the spouse in infidelity and family by taking KIP Treatment Program. When you restore happiness by treating post traumatic stress, you will realize that how nonsensical your spouse's demand for a divorce is. Please, remember that happiness of yourself and your children is in your own hands not in the hands of the spouse in infidelity. 

   https://youtu.be/BP0-ZF_Demk

                                          

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Infidelity Therapy] Your own life is more important than your spouse.

 

When spouse infidelity is discovered, the victimized spouses would do everything within their capability to make the spouse in infidelity come back to them. They pay all their attention to their spouse in infidelity and firmly believe that everything will be OK when their spouse just comes back to them. 

Differently from what many people think, post traumatic stress of the victimized spouse does not disappear just because the spouse in infidelity comes back. Paying attention to the spouse in infidelity is like a severely injured victim just chases the perpetrator without treating his or her wounds. 

Your own life is more important than the spouse in infidelity. You met the spouse, got married, had children, and lived happily. All the happy days cannot be denied just because the couple experienced spouse infidelity. 

Meeting the spouse, getting married, having children, getting a divorce, and getting remarried are all parts of your life. Your getting married to the present spouse and living together for years and years does not mean that your whole life must be dependent on your spouse. When your life has problems and you become unhealthy, your children's life will also have problems. All your relationships with other people will become unhealthy. 

It is the most important to restore your life and become happy again. Then, you can lead your children to happiness and give your spouse an opportunity to treat him or herself. That is, you yourself must become happy first to make others around you happy.

Especially, it is parent's duty to make children happy. Thinking that you will become happy when your children do as you want is likened to demanding children to make you happy. Then, of course, children become unhappy. Parents have the duty and responsibility but not the right in the relationship with children. Parents become happy when children are happy. 

You must do everything to treat post traumatic stress and restore your life and happiness even though it is hard and painful. Your life and your children's life are at stake. All the decisions you make without treating post traumatic stress cannot but destroy your life and children's life. You cannot afford to pay attention to the spouse in infidelity now.          

You may not understand exactly what is going on now, but absurd situations will continuously occur and you will be the cause of the absurdity in most cases. The result will be the destruction of your life and your children's life. There are so many people who regret their own decisions that are irrecoverable. 

 As you start to treat post traumatic stress, pain and rage subsides fast and you will realize how dangerous situation you and your children were in. You will also realize how effective KIP Treatment Program is. Please, don't hesitate to start the treatment for your own life and your children's life.

https://youtu.be/fOj1u2fdA6c

                                   

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Infidelity Therapy] What you will lose to get temporary comfort.

 

[Infidelity Therapy] The victimized spouse who destroys everyone's life in an attempt to gain comfort. 

     Infidelity does not occur due to couple issues, sexual issues, or any other practical problem. It occurs due to relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder and causes immersion into the other's response or attention.           

     People in infidelity behaves in the way they destroy relationships with people who give stress regarding their infidelity. They may cat irrationally, become violent, or avoid stressful situations at all costs. People in infidelity will display all kinds of behaviors. They may leave home without contact, beg for forgiveness, use violent language, blame other family members, and so on. 

      The victimized spouses of spouse infidelity suffer from difficult situations repeatedly and they also start to destroy themselves and other people. They did not commit infidelity but their post traumatic stress makes them act irrationally, become violent, and avoid stressful situations at all costs.

     Where would what you do and think now lead you eventually?

     Can you solve all the problems of your spouse in infidelity?

     Can you stop being destructive and restore happiness?

     They want to get out of the unfortunate situation and become happy. However, their condition of post traumatic stress makes all their efforts result in destruction. Any practical measure they take except the measure to treat their condition in the right way will destroy themselves and their children. It is because people in post traumatic stress misunderstand that they will become comfortable and happy when they solve the visible problems and usually make wrong decisions.

     Then, efforts made based on post traumatic stress become efforts to destroy themselves and their family just to feel comfortable temporarily. They end up living for pleasure avoiding stress and wounds. Their children are neglected and grow with unhealthy psychology. So many people ask what to do when this and that happen in the situation where spouse infidelity is discovered. This is equivalent to asking what to do to destroy themselves and their family. 

     Spouse infidelity cannot be solved by taking any practical measures. All problems that occur due to spouse infidelity can be solved only when the spouse in infidelity decides and make efforts to treat the relationship addiction. The same applies to post traumatic stress. Post traumatic stress can be cured only when the victimized spouse decides and make efforts to treat the condition in the right way regardless of the circumstance. Actually, when you don't treat post traumatic stress in the right way but the situation gets better, the condition deteriorates even further and eventually cause more severe destruction. 

     Both the spouse in infidelity and the victimized spouse must treat their psychological condition before they do anything. First, they must protect themselves and their children by starting KIP Treatment Program. Then, they can give the spouse in infidelity an opportunity to treat relationship addiction. You must make efforts not for destruction but for happiness in a true sense. 

     Typical destructive measures include collecting evidence, filing lawsuits, getting a divorce, taking psychology counseling, and revenge affair. Some people choose to get immersed into children, work, religion, study, or hobbies. Others try to restore sexuality by going on a diet, taking plastic surgery, or taking sex training. Any activity that causes obsession and dependency aggravates post traumatic stress. 

     You must also be careful about so-called experts who encourage all these destructive measures. They never take responsibility for dire consequences resulted from their destructive advice. Being deceived and taking their advice only expedites the rate of destruction. 

     Do not try to solve practical problems. 

     Do not try to change your spouse at least for now. 

Please, do not just avoid the pain but take the right treatment method to treat your psychology and restore happiness in a true sense. 

https://youtu.be/KyZCZf_E4FU

                             

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Infidelity Therapy] Infidelity is not just craziness but caused by relationship addiction.

 

    Many people think that people in infidelity are just crazy since their speech and behaviors are abnormal. People in infidelity have developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder. 

     When one of the three psychological components, which are perception, memory, and expression, develops a disorder, it is referred to as a psychological disorder, two of them, an advanced condition of psychological disorder, all three, a psychosis. The victimized spouse of spouse infidelity, develops post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. They are considered to be on the verge of developing a psychological disorder with problems in all three components of psychology temporarily. 

     The spouse in infidelity has developed psychological disorders in two components of psychology. The victimized spouse can develop psychological disorders in all three components of psychology when they neglect post traumatic stress. Psychological disorder and post traumatic stress are not psychological problems but problems of habits of psychology. They cannot but deteriorate unless they are treated properly. 

     When men develop psychological disorders such as relationship addiction, they are considered to have perception disorder and expression disorder. When women develop advanced condition of psychological disorder, they have the disorder of memory of emotions, and expression disorder. People with an advanced condition of psychological disorder still have one component of psychology working in a normal way. However, they become pleasure seekers and destroy all human relationships. People with normal psychology find that their behaviors are abnormal.

     They have an opportunity to recover and treat psychological disorders and since they still have one component of psychology working normally. They can activate the psychological component working normally to restore healthy psychology. When all three components of psychology develop disorders as in psychosis, hysteria, or intermittent explosive disorder, they cannot live with the mind of human beings and may not be able to recover. 

     It is recommended that you should not aggravate the condition of people in infidelity, which will make them develop even more severe psychological condition. The victimized spouse in recommended to treat their own condition instead of displaying rage or taking any practical measures, which will only aggravate the condition of the spouse in infidelity. 

     People who suffer from post traumatic stress may develop a psychosis when they pursue pleasure and build confidence without treating their condition properly. Then, of course, they cannot but destroy all human relationships. They suffer from intense stress and great wounds and literally lose their mind when they interact with normal people since their habits of psychology are completely different of those of normal people. They may have to stay in an institution for their whole life time or destroy their life in their own hands. It is no wonder that they want abnormal relationships with people. 

     Problems of habits of psychology necessarily deteriorate, so they must be treated properly before it is too late. You can take the treatment program of KIP when you develop problems of habits of psychology to be able to restore health and happiness. 

                                                         https://youtu.be/avGMoxVQlOg

                              

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Infidelity Therapy] Getting a divorce upon discovering husband infidelity

 

      Many women choose to get a divorce upon discovering husband infidelity. They would not sacrifice themselves to maintain marriage relationship. They would choose to give up on marriage and family instead of suffering from pain of husband infidelity. They cannot think about their family and children in such a painful situation. 

     In addition, there are many so called experts who encourage lawsuits and divorce. They say that the husband and the adulteress in infidelity must be punished through lawsuits and divorce and the victimized spouse must become happy as an individual. Then, the wives do not even make efforts to restore family and marriage, and go straight to filing lawsuits and getting a divorce destroying family and marriage in their own hands.        

     Many people suffer from stress and wounds from difficult relationships and choose to sever relationships and only pursue happiness as an individual. They choose to avoid and stay in comfort instead of overcoming stress and wounds and pursuing being happy together in relationships. However, humans are social beings by nature and it is hard for anyone to live without forming relationships with other people. 

     It is imperative that wives who suffer from husband infidelity must treat post traumatic stress before anything and restore happiness ability. We may be able to live in comfort but we cannot live in happiness without sharing happiness with other people. When you destroy human relationships, you will naturally live a destructive life then on. 

     It is understandable that wives who suffer from post traumatic stress due to husband infidelity cannot think with reason since the pain is simply excruciating and choose to get a divorce since they cannot stand the situation. Many of them regret getting a divorce hurriedly after they find that their life and their children's life were irrecoverably damaged.      Then, they necessarily develop self-blame, other-blame, or dependency. The most dangerous of them is developing dependency. People who develop dependency avoid and discard all their right and responsibility. They give up on their own right for happiness.          

     Whether a wife who suffers from post traumatic stress due to husband infidelity will live happily or unhappily is decided by whether she makes a right kind of effort or not for restoring happiness. It is not to say that wives in pain and suffering should suppress themselves and sacrifice themselves. It is rather to say that they should restore happiness in a true sense. The treatment program at KIP guides you to find the right path to happiness on your own.

                                                               https://youtu.be/W4scswLECJ8

                                         

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Infidelity Therapy] A spouse in infidelity does not develop post traumatic stress upon discovering spouse infidelity.

 

      Many people ask if a spouse who is committing infidelity also develops post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. A man who is committing infidelity will not develop post traumatic stress when he discovers that his wife is also committing infidelity. The same applies to a woman who is committing infidelity. 

     People who are committing infidelity have developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder. Their psychological condition deteriorates at a fast rate when the discover their spouse is also committing infidelity, but they do not develop post traumatic stress. They also get stressed and wounded by spouse infidelity, which aggravates their psychological disorder. Still, they don't develop post traumatic stress since their condition has already deteriorated enough. 

     People who have post traumatic stress turn everything they perceive, remember, and express into fake wounds. They recognize excruciating pain at first, and then, they feel more and more comfortable developing confidence and seeking pleasure. They develop problems in habits of psychology, with which fake wounds continue to be activated.  

     Recognizing excruciating pain indicates that problems of habits of psychology have not developed yet, and you still have an opportunity to treat your psychological condition.      Post traumatic stress develops only when a person who has normal psychology discovers spouse infidelity. All the experiences in life turn into wounds and you feel that the whole life is denied. 

     On the other hand, people who are already committing infidelity and have relationship addiction do not develop post traumatic stress. They may feel stressed and wounded when their partner of infidelity sees other partners since they cannot get the attention and response they need. They may develop anxiety since they don't have the object for relieving their obsession or stress and wounds, but they just need to find another partner of infidelity. Their psychological condition deteriorates at a fast rate, but they never develop post traumatic stress. 

     People in infidelity already have their psychology operate in abnormal ways, so they don't develop post traumatic stress, with which all life experiences turn into stress and wounds at one blow. However, their condition deteriorates at a fast rate due to the intense stress and severe wounds that suddenly struck them. 

     They are likely to think that it is a good opportunity to end the marriage relationship without recognizing much pain. Some people even perceive the spouse's behaviors as sexual responses and take advantage of the spouse for sexual pleasure. These people cannot but destroy all human relationships as if they spread a contagious disease. Please, keep in mind that relationship addiction and post traumatic stress can destroy all aspects of human life with dire consequences when they are neglected and not properly treated. 

https://youtu.be/gq5hiJ-TbFQ

                                    

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)