[Mother Therapy] How to raise your child's sense of self-respect

 

     Every parent knows that their children need to build the sense of self-respect to live a happy life. They may try to help children build the sense of self-respect in diverse ways. They may listen to lectures, read books, and get counseling to do so. However, it is a different matter to apply their knowledge during daily life. It is because they are missing the fundamental element. 

     Parents know the importance of self-respect and they pay attention to children acknowledging children's existence with love and affection. However, not many people know that parents need their own stabilized psychological condition to be able to apply all their knowledge and information in an effective way. 

     When parents have psychological problems, it is impossible to pay attention and give love to children in a healthy way. They may pay attention to children but only in distorted ways usually focusing on the superficial and visible phenomena. For example, it is well known that parents must accept children as they are without judgment. However, parents with psychological problems cannot accept children as they are. They may consciously think that they are being good parents, but their distorted psychology leads their distorted habits of perception to be projected in perceiving their children's behaviors. They may accept their children as they are only when certain conditions are satisfied based on their own standards. 

     When parents accept children's existence as they are, children will be able to build the sense of self-respect more easily and comfortably. When children are demanded to live up to parents' expectation, it is equivalent to being forced to live with their parents' standards instead of their own standards. When a child is born, the only wish most parents make is for the child to grow healthy and parents accept the existence of the child. However, when parents have psychological problems and leave them unsolved and untreated, parent's problems affect children negatively. That is, parents cannot look at children with composedness in mind. 

     Children who are accepted as they are by their parents will easily build the sense of self-respect. They know that parents always accept them and support them under any circumstance. It is important to examine whether parents have healthy psychology to be able to help children build the sense of self-respect. If parents have psychological problems, they must solve problems or treat their condition first. Parents' psychological problems keep being activated to affect children's psychology negatively unless properly treated causing unhappiness for both parents and children.

https://youtu.be/XbR3TpOWM-k

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[infidelity Therapy] The husband's display of rage justifies the adulterer's wrongdoings.

[infidelity Therapy] The husband's display of rage, violent behaviors, filing lawsuits, or getting a divorce justifies the adulterer's wrongdoings. 

The husband develops post traumatic stress upon the discovery of wife infidelity. The husband suffers from the excruciating pain and blames himself or others. If he blames the wife and the adulterer, he may display rage employing violent language and behaviors since he cannot bear his pain of post traumatic stress. In some cases, he may blame himself, file lawsuits, or get a divorce as his psychological condition deteriorates. No one thinks about what dire consequences the husband's behaviors will result in.

It must be noted how the husband's behaviors are perceived by the adulterer. First, all the husband's negative expressions can be used to justify the adulterer's wrongdoing of committing infidelity with the wife. The husband's behaviors are equivalent to giving the adulterer what he wants. The husband's behaviors may be used as a support for the wife's infidelity, her falling for the adulterer's attention and consolation, and getting a divorce. Especially, the husband's violent language and behaviors are effective in serving this purpose. 

The adulterer may get stressed when the husband files lawsuits and display violent behaviors against him. However, he forgets about his stress soon by avoiding the situation or just enduring until it ends, and then, he feels sympathy for the wife. He may try to avoid the situation or just stand firm until it ends. 

The adulterer thinks that the husband is not good enough for the wife. He thinks that the wife committed infidelity because the husband is violent and incapable of protecting the wife and satisfying her sexually. This idea will lead the adulterer to conclude that he is superior to the husband in many ways. 

Secondly, the adulterer thinks that he had to give the wife attention and consolation because the husband didn't. The husband behaviors have proved so. That is, the husband's behaviors are used to justify the adulterer's infidelity with the wife. He thinks that the wife is a good woman who is sweet and sexually attractive but she is suffering from the relationship with the husband. 

Thirdly, the adulterer thinks that he can take advantage of the wife as a sexual object more easily when she gets a divorce, so he keeps giving attention and consolation to her. Then, the wife may choose to stay with the adulterer since the husband keeps being violent and blaming her for infidelity. The adulterer will be glad when the husband abandons the wife. 

The wife in infidelity may tell the adulterer everything about what is going on in her life and marriage in order to get attention and consolation from him including sexual issues. The adulterer perceives all her speech and actions as sexual responses and thinks that he must give her sexual pleasure, too. He may feel proud of himself for saving the wife from a miserable life. 

The husband's behaviors to display rage or to solve problems lead the adulterer to justify infidelity. The husband is helping the wife fall more and more infidelity. The more actions he takes to cope with the situation, the more incompetent he becomes. If you are suffering from post traumatic stress due to infidelity, you must treat your condition first by taking KIP Treatment and must not pay attention to your wife for now. Then, you can give your wife an opportunity to treat her condition and take all the measures to make the adulterer pay for what he has done to your family. You have to make him learn that the price of committing infidelity is high.

https://youtu.be/y8ZjAOa9I-s                         

                                       

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Review] Well begun is half done.

Before I began KIP Treatment program, I thought I would get better just by listening to Mr. Kim's lectures all day everyday, which I actually did. I ignored his advice that treatment and open lectures are completely different and endured that way for a year. 

​My symptoms of post traumatic stress kept deteriorating and they began to destroy my precious children. I was acting like a crazy mother or a monster not seen easily around. 

My parents had to stand my craziness suffering and crying. I was destroying my family such that my child finally developed panic disorder. ​

I suddenly woke up to my child's suicide attempt. I made up my mind to treat myself then. I realized I had destroyed myself and my children. I fought to death against my disease with KIP Treatment and Mother Therapy. 

​The treatment process was not easy at all. I knew that the program guided me in the right direction, but the contents were hard to understand and I felt uncomfortable doing therapeutic tasks. I tried to focus on the tasks as much as possible and children began to be stabilized in about 3 months. I was still in pain but I expressed my gratitude to children and tried to smile.

I am into 6 months of treatment now. I feel something inside myself and wonder if this feelings is 'happiness'. I start the morning with a smile. I feel the sunlight and breathe in the fresh air. I could not even imagine this calmness if I were still only watching the videos of KIP. 

​I want to thank Mr. Kim for persuading me to treat my condition. I may have a long way to complete cure but I will definitely continue with my efforts for my own feelings of happiness growing little by little everyday. I feel sorry for people who haven't been able to start the treatment yet. I earnestly hope that everyone who suffers from pain will choose to treat their condition. I may become a happiness evangelist. 

https://youtu.be/emq3J1Yi0zs

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[Infidelity Therapy] The psychology of the husband who buys sex services

 

    When the wife finds out that her husband has bought sex services, she feels betrayed by her husband. The wife thinks that she has sex because she loves the husband and the fact that her husband buys sex services means to her that having sex with the wife has been denied and he doesn't love his wife. The husband may think that buying sex services is no big deal, but the wife may develop post traumatic stress as if she were shocked by husband infidelity. 

     The husband's buying sex services has a few stages. The first stage is when he buys sex services by being carried along while he is drinking and having fun with people. The second stage is when he repeats buying sex services since he finds it fun. The third stage is when he put more importance to sexual pleasure than to the whole activity. The fourth stage is when he gets involved with the woman who sells sex in a romantic relationship committing infidelity. 

     The husband may think that he is just having fun temporarily and he has not betrayed the wife and children in any way. However, the wife may develop post traumatic stress thinking that she is denied by her husband and he has sex with another woman since he doesn't love her. 

     Especially, when the husband aggravates his condition of relationship addiction when he has a personal relationship with the woman who sells sex services. As his relationship addiction advances, he continues buying sex services even when he is caught by his wife and eventually develops intermittent explosive disorder. He may make an excuse saying that it was just a mistake and an accident, but he is only justifying his behavior. It has the same mechanism as the husband in infidelity making self-justification of all types upon being caught. 

     The husband who buys sex services is likely to fail in his life as well as in business and work and he suffers from physical illness. His relationship addiction advances rapidly as he spend time, money, and energy. 

     The husband who buys sex services develops relationship addiction and the wife who discovers it develops post traumatic stress. The wife must treat her post traumatic stress before anything to restore her life and family. 

     Most women think that they have sex with men they are in love with, but women who sell sex services have sex for financial gain. The husband buys sex services for temporary sexual pleasure but it causes him to suffer from permanent damage on his psychology. He becomes addicted to women's responses and sexual pleasure, which cannot be reversed by his conscious control.

     The husband's pursuit of values is distorted and his relationships with people are damaged after he buys sex services. He begins to destroy the closest relationship making his wife and children suffer. He may even sever the relationship with children if they try to stop him from buying sex services. 

     The wife must first treat her post traumatic stress and then address his husband's problem. If she tries to address the husband's problems before treating her won condition, both the husband's and the wife's conditions only keep deteriorating. The husband thinks that buying sex services is valuable and important for him, so any attempt to stop his wrong doing is considered as an attack against his pursuit of values of life, which makes it even harder for him to recover. 

      When the husband realizes that his buying sex services caused relationship addiction in him and tries to treat his condition on his own, he can restore balance in psychology and understand the importance of being happy together with his wife as well as having sexual happiness together. 

https://youtu.be/nhR6Tm0SWiw

                                  

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Mother Therapy] Are you worried that your child takes after you in a negative way?

Some parents are worried that their children take after them with undesirable personality traits. They try to make children change in the right direction, but not many people know that it may lead children to develop psychological problems. 

    “My son takes after his father, so he is not good at controlling his temper. I am worried that he doesn't even make efforts to control himself.”

     “My son is in a hurry all the time just like his father. I try to change him but nothing seems to work. I am worried about how he will do when he becomes an adult.”

     “My daughter is shy and not good at talking. I always tell her to be confident when talking, but it doesn't work. I used to be shy when I was a child and it worried my parents, too. I don't know what to do.”

     “My daughter is stubborn just like her mother. She becomes more and more like her mother as she is growing up.”

Some parents become upset about children's worrisome personality, so they express their concerns negatively by saying, “Who on earth do you take after?”, “You are just like your father, and I don't like it.” 

Parents know through their experience that they have negative traits in their own personality and they can cause problems in life. They hope that their children will not make the same mistake as they did and try to guide them into the right direction. That is, parents judge on children's behaviors and try to correct children based on their own standards. Parents will feel difficulties when children do not change as they want.

However, parents must understand that children should learn through their own direct experience as they did. Children will realize they need to change themselves when problems occur due to their negative habits or traits, and they will make efforts themselves and learn how to live with other people in harmony. When parents don't know about this mechanism, they will keep imposing their own standards on children causing conflicts between parents and children. 

Especially, when a certain behavior of children that resembles the parents' behavior bothers parents, it indicates that the parent's untreated wound is retrieved to make the parent respond sensitively. When you are in a good relationship with the spouse, the traits your child and your spouse share may look adorable to you. However, when you are in a troublesome relationship with your spouse, such traits retrieve your stress and wounds. Then, your children's perfectly normal behavior becomes a problem from the perspective of the parent who has his or her own psychological problems. 

When you find some negative traits in your children that resembles you or your spouse, you must first question whether you yourself have some problems and try to deal with them. When parents accurately understand about their own psychological problems and make efforts to address them, parents will change for the better and become to accept children as they are instead of trying to correct their behaviors, leading children to grow with healthy psychology. 

https://youtu.be/2HHiq2plSus

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                     on child's psychological problem

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[Infidelity Therapy] The collapse of the life of men who commit infidelity

[Infidelity Therapy] The collapse of the life of men who commit infidelity (the husband in infidelity and the adulterer)

People who know that infidelity is caused by relationship addiction tend to associate relationship addiction only with infidelity. However, not everyone who develops relationship addiction gets involved in infidelity. Of course, people in infidelity have developed relationship addiction. 

 [Symptoms of men's relationship addiction] 

1. Commit infidelity

2. Do not have sex addiction but repeat buying sex services

3. Find more pleasure in diverse activities such as work, gatherings, traveling, hobbies, or sports than in family life

4. Suddenly have more sex or become sexless with the spouse

5. Mingle with people with many human relationships and become overly nice to people

There are many more symptoms of men's relationship addiction than listed above. Men with relationship addiction are addicted to people's responses regardless of the gender when they express themselves nicely to other people. When men develop relationship addiction, they express themselves compulsively and they feel relieved and excited only when they feel the counterparty's responses. 

When they express themselves to a woman and the woman with relationship addiction responds to men's expressions, they become close to each other and commit infidelity. Men with relationship addiction think that giving attention and consolation to women with relationship addiction is the most valuable thing in their life. 

Men's relationship addiction is an advanced condtion of psychological diaorder in the sense that they have developed both perception disorder and expression disorder simultaneously. Perception disorder makes men not be able to stand even the slightest stress and expression disorder or addiction makes men feel relieved from obsession and anxiety only when they get responses from the object of obsession. 

Men with relationship addiction have developed a psychological disorder that destroys all their relationships as well as their pursuit of values and sexuality. They sever all the relationships that give them stress and form only the relationships that give them responses. They pursue distorted values and sexuality justifying their ideas and behaviors. 

Men with relationship addiction end up putting priority on sexual pleasure and relationships that make it possible as the highest values of life. They can stop pursuing sexual pleasure only when they lose everything, become sick, or literally die. 

Men with relationship addiction must realize that they have a serious condition and make efforts to treat their condition even if the process is hard and even painful to restore healthy and happy life. They are usually given an opportunity to treat their condition when they are on the verge of losing everything or they feel the threat of life after losing everything. In this situation, their wife and children are very important for their treatment. 

The treatment can be chosen and proceeded only by men themselves and it requires their own strong will power and efforts. They must treat relationship addiction, prevent the relapse of the condition, and build stress healing ability and happiness ability to achieve complete cure. Korea Institute of Psycho-education provides an effective and innovative treatment program without psychology counseling. 

https://youtu.be/KiS64W8Eri8

                                     

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Infidelity Therapy] The collapse of the life of women who commit infidelity

 

[Infidelity Therapy] The collapse of the life of women who commit infidelity (the wife in infidelity and the adulteress)

     

     People who know that infidelity is caused by relationship addiction tend to associate relationship addiction only with infidelity. However, not everyone who develops relationship addiction gets involved in infidelity. Of course, people in infidelity have developed relationship addiction. 

     [Symptoms of women's relationship addiction] 

1. Commit infidelity

2. Find comfort in specific objects such as religion, study, counseling, consumption, or fortune telling.

3. Find more pleasure in diverse activities such as work, gatherings, traveling, hobbies, or sports than in family life

4. Suddenly get out of depression and lethargy and begin to focus on activities outside home. 

5. Mingle with people overly with many human relationships

     There are many more symptoms of women's relationship addiction than listed above. Women with relationship addiction are addicted to attention and consolation. They can be addicted to attention and consolation of any type from both men and women. They feel excited and happy when they are given attention by the counterparty's friendliness and kindness. Since they are addicted to attention and consolation, they develop obsession for attention and consolation and they feel relieved and happy only when they are given attention and consolation. When the object of attention and consolation is a man, they get involved in infidelity, and women provide responses to men in infidelity in return for men's attention and consolation. 

     Women with relationship addiction develop the disorder of memory of emotion and expression disorder simultaneously. The disorder of memory of emotion makes women suffer from their own wounds from perception or memory. Expression disorder or addiction makes them develop obsession and anxiety and feel relieved and happy only when they get attention and consolation from the object of addiction. 

     Women with relationship addiction destroy all her relationships as well as her love, values, and sexuality. They sever all the relationships that are related with their wounds and form relationships that give them attention and consolation. They pursue distorted love, values, and sexuality justifying their ideas and behaviors. 

     Women with relationship addiction must realize that they have a serious condition and make efforts to treat relationship addiction even if the process is hard and even painful to restore healthy and happy life. They usually choose to treat themselves when they are blocked from getting attention and pursuing pleasure. Their husband and children have nothing to do with their own treatment in this situation. 

     The treatment can be chosen and proceeded only by women themselves and it requires their own strong will power and efforts. They must treat relationship addiction, prevent the relapse of the condition, and build wound treatment ability and happiness ability to achieve complete cure. Korea Institute of Psycho-education provides an effective and innovative treatment program without psychology counseling. 

https://youtu.be/3CelouwEY7U

                         

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Review] Working to become a good father and husband

 

     I have relationship addiction. However, I didn't have affairs or have sex with other women. I just used to meet women and had conversations with them casually and comfortably, which is also considered as symptoms of relationship addiction.​

     I have been married for 10 years. My wife had symptoms of depression, lethargy, and delusional jealousy displaying rage and anger for all those years. I began KIP Treatment to restore a happy family. 

     However, the treatment program seemed less systematic than I had expected, and I felt I was not supported enough. Still, I kept working on it since I paid quite a lot of money for the treatment.

     Then, my wife began to recover little by little and I had less conflicts with my wife and children. I began to realize that I had so many bad habits and inappropriate behaviors. Now, I understand why my wife used to say to me that I was so out of touch with the real world. Above all, I became to understand that I was in relationship addiction and my wife was in post traumatic stress. ​

     I still don't understand exactly what relationship addiction is. I just know that I think and behave in distorted ways due to perception disorder and expression disorder. I don't understand exactly what the meaning of life is probably because I am a man, but I know that the meaning of my life is my wife and children. It seems that understanding concepts and being treated are completely different. ​

     I study and do therapeutic tasks everyday but I am slow to change. ​However, I know that I have a psychological disorder and it takes time to restore psychological balance. I can't wait to become a good husband and father after completing the treatment program. 

https://youtu.be/nEBjX_Hg_w0

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[Mother Therapy] A teenage girl who wanders about

 

     Q. My 13-year-old daughter seems to have become a troubled adolescent. She behaves so differently that I have a hard time adapting myself to the situation. She smokes and goes late for school. I try to talk to her but she slams the door on me, and constantly talks with her friends on the phone in her room. I am divorced and a single mother. She is the only hope and meaning in my life, but these day, I feel I am lost. I don't know what to do and feel frustrated.

     A. A 13-year-old daughter is in the phase of forming thought standards in the psychological development. She gets stressed and wounded when she cannot understand the situation based on her own knowledge and experience. 

    You may be busy as a single mother from working and parenting. You have done your best to provide a good environment for your daughter, but your daughter's unexpected behaviors make you feel disappointed and bewildered. You may try to talk to her adopting your own standards, but you are likely to express your own wounds in mimind in the process, and your daughter cannot easily understand your thought standards. 

     The mother must understand that the girl is in the process of forming her own thought standards. The mother must try to understand the daughter's situation from the daughter's point of view instead of trying to make her understand the mother's point of view. When the mother has many wounds in mimind and unstable psychology, she is likely to try to find her own comfort in the relationship with the daughter, and the daughter may feel burdened by the situation. 

     What the daughter needs is the mother who provides warm caring and attention instead of the mother who looks to her for comfort and consolation. It is your daughter who needs your attention without projecting your psychological instability. To approach to your daughter naturally, you can start by just casually talking about daily life during dinner time, and listen to her about her school life and friends. Your daughter will talk less and less to you if you keep trying to talk about her problematic behaviors with a serious tone. 

     Mother Therapy guides mothers to learn about children's psychological development, and adopt the right treatment method and parenting strategies in daily life. It leads to building happiness for both mothers and children. By taking Mother Therapy, you will be able to help your daughter solve psychological problems, and build happiness ability on her own instead of wasting time and effort by trying to solve individual problems every time they occur. 

https://youtu.be/UEDfrYeiFl0

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[infidelity Therapy] The difference between infidelity and prostitution

 

[infidelity Therapy] The difference between infidelity and prostitution, the sexuality of the husband, the wife, the adulteress, and the adulterer in husband infidelity and wife infidelity

     Infidelity is legal and prostitution is illegal. Infidelity is considered to be a form of love and prostitution is considered to be a form of business. When someone gets involved in infidelity with many people for the purpose of earning money, it is also considered to be a form of business. Infidelity destroys self, the spouse, children family and human relationships. Prostitution destroys one's body, mind, and sexuality. Infidelity is caused by relationship addiction. Prostitution has the purpose of exchanging sexual pleasure and economic gain. Prostitution evolves into infidelity, which is a more advanced psychological condition. Infidelity is more hedonic than prostitution. 

     People in infidelity destroy their spouse, children, family, and human relationships and people who buy sex destroy their own body, mind, and sexuality. The husband in infidelity invest his time, effort, and money for having sex with the adulteress and destroys all human relationships. Infidelity has more adverse effects than prostitution. The wife must understand that the husband considers the adulteress as a prostitute. The wife in infidelity must understand that she is considered as a prostitute by the adulterer. The adulteress and the wife in infidelity are only sexual objects of the adulterer. 

      The husband who suffers from wife infidelity must understand that the adulterer considers his wife as a prostitute. The husband must treat his post traumatic stress and then, punish the adulterer regardless of their marriage relationship. The husband who commits infidelity to get even with his wife in infidelity makes his adulteress a prostitute. 

     The husband in infidelity and adulteress have developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder and the victimized wife has developed post traumatic stress. The wife in infidelity and the adulterer have developed relationship addiction and the victimized husband has developed post traumatic stress. They may develop intermittent explosive disorder or hysteria when the conditions progress even further. Everyone who gets involved in the infidelity issue develops psychological disorders and their conditions progress as time passes unless properly treated.

     KIP Treatment is provided to treat psychological disorders and restore balanced state of mind. It also guides you to build the ability to prevent the relapse of pathological conditions as well as habits of wounds treatment and habits of happiness to achieve complete cure. It is an innovative and highly effective non-contact self-treatment method. 

https://youtu.be/kVqI_ykNqNk

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Infidelity Therapy] Self-injury that kills your mind : fake wounds

[Infidelity therapy] You mind perishes when fake wounds are turned into real wounds.

   The spouse in infidelity has developed relationship disorder, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder. The victimized spouse develops post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. Relationship addiction distorts one's thoughts and ideas and the spouse in infidelity perceives everything in distorted ways. The victimized spouse also develops distorted thoughts and ideas. 

     The victimized spouse perceives all his or her past memories as negative ones and aggravates the psychological condition. Psychology counseling, lawsuits, divorce, and taking other practical measures also contribute to the aggravation of post traumatic stress. It is crucial to treat post traumatic stress in the right way as soon as possible.  

     The unconscious in human mind generates emotions and have the conscious recognize them by operating the three components of psychology, which are perception, memory, and expression. Psychological problems or disorders makes you recognize negative emotions in the conscious 

     One component of psychology operates in a distorted way in the early condition of psychological disorder. Two operates in a distorted way in the advanced condition of psychological disorder. Three components of psychology operate in a distorted way in post traumatic stress. 

      People who have psychological disorders hardly feel the need for treatment but people with post traumatic stress feel that they need treatment since their psychological pain is so excruciating. When they take psychology counseling to treat their condition, they have to analyze their past experiences one by one to find the cause of the pain. Then, their distorted and false wounds are turned into real wounds in their mind making all their past memories real wounds. They used to think that they are happy when they are with the person who they love. Now, they may think that they can be happy when they are with anyone as far as they can have sexual pleasure.

     Fortunately, the distorted ideas are developing but have not been fixated for people in post traumatic stress. They can restore the balanced psychology by taking a right treatment. They can build habits of wound treatment and achieve complete cure. They can restore happiness and family and give the spouse in infidelity to treat his or her condition.

     Any other approach will only aggravate the condition and your mind will perish eventually destroying yourself and people around you. You must make your own efforts to treat psychological disorders or post traumatic stress. You must treat yourself, build habits of wound treatment, and achieve complete cure on your own. 

     Korea Institute of Psycho-education provides an innovative non-contact on-line self-treatment method of psychological disorders, which will lead you to complete cure of psychological disorders without adverse effects of conventional psychology counseling.

https://youtu.be/-m4hCM4arvg

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Review] Peace of mind returned.

 

Before the treatment, my mind was like wild sea.

I was in the hell whatever I did and my life was squeezing my heart.

Daily life would be impossible to continue if anyone lived that way.

Five months into the treatment.

I make sure I do the therapeutic tasks everyday.

My children are happy to be with me and always express their love for me. 

My spouse gave me an opportunity to look back on my whole life, treat all my wounds I have accumulated, and realize that I deserve to be loved and be happy.

I usually listen to the recording for training doing house chores. 

It always sounds new to me and I am learning a lot.

I guess my complexion and attitudes have changed a lot since people treat me differently. I feel that my feelings of happiness and the sense of self-respect are recognized by others. A happy person always seems to carry happy energy around. 

I have realized through Mind Training that everything that happens in our life has two sides, and it is the nature of the universe. 

The longest night signals the beginning of the spring and the darkest moment of the night signals the rise of the sun. 

To know the brightness of the light, the shade of the darkness should be known.

I have learned that the darkness is a necessary part of my life. 

I am grateful to the darkness.

I tend to forget about therapeutic tasks since I feel comfortable a lot these days. 

I will gather up my will not to lose my first intention.

https://youtu.be/SFNY3LboGRo

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

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[Mother Therapy] A 13-year-old girl who speaks carelessly to friends

 

Q. I have recently heard that my 13-year-old daughter speaks carelessly to her friends. I checked with my daughter for the fact and she said it was right. She wants to become closer to her classmates in her 7th grade class but she still feels distant, and her friends from the 6th grade have already made many new friends, making my daughter jealous. My daughter used to cry often because her friends hurt her in different ways, and she couldn't speak out even when she was treated unfairly. Now, she is the one who hurts other girls by speaking carelessly and speaking ill of others. I feel speechless out of disappointment and worry. I thought I raised her to be polite to people but she is even rude to her own family members these days. What should I do?

A. From parents' point of view, it is only natural that parents are disappointed and worried when their daughter behaves inappropriately. You must have felt really sad when she admitted her inappropriate behaviors after you have made all the efforts to teach her to be polite. 

Your daughter said that she behaved rudely because her old friends made many new friends when she still felt distant to new classmates. Your daughter seems to have wanted to look superior to other girls or get attention from classmates by speaking carelessly. 

Your daughter seems to feel unstable since her needs are not satisfied somehow. She tries to satisfy her needs by getting attention from friends and family, but it doesn't work so she behaves rudely. She speaks carelessly not because she doesn't like friends and family, but because she wants attention. It is not wrong to express her emotions but she needs to learn how to control her speech and maintain good relationships with people. 

When you learn about the process of children's psychological development and apply the right parenting strategies and treatment methods by adopting Mother Therapy, your daughter will feel that she is getting enough attention from her mother and be able to stabilize psychology.

When you naturally let her know that it is good to express her emotions to people instead of suppressing them, but she must express her emotions in ways others are not hurt by her expressions, your daughter will find how to express her emotions appropriately on her own.

https://youtu.be/r96xvr6D1-0

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[Infidelity Therapy] A lawsuit against the adulteress, and then what?

 

     There are many ways for the wife to punish the husband and the adulteress. The easiest way is to publicize the fact of infidelity to humiliate the husband and the adulteress or to file a lawsuit. Filing a lawsuit may look like a cool and rational way to deal with the issue at first. However, if you win the lawsuit and even get compensated financially, would the issue of infidelity solved completely?

      Getting financial compensation through a lawsuit makes you unable to appeal further in any way since your damage is considered to be legally compensated. Filing a lawsuit against the adulteress equates with acknowledging husband infidelity in return for money. 

     The wife may choose the lawsuit as a way of revenge out of indignation but the result is only abjectness. The wife has endorsed husband infidelity for a small sum of money. In addition, getting even with the adulteress by a lawsuit cannot eliminate the wife's rage and distress. Rather, her post traumatic stress deteriorates and rage and distress keep growing everyday.

     As the wife continues suffering from rage and distress, the husband begins to defend himself thinking that he has paid for his infidelity by going through the lawsuit. Both the husband who admitted his wrongdoing and the husband who justified his behaviors begin to be convinced that his wife is the most peculiar person. The wife who still gets enraged even after winning the lawsuit helps justify the husband's infidelity. Even the husband who asked for forgiveness admitting the wrong doing leaves home or demands a divorce. 

     Have you thought about the result of filing a lawsuit? It is an utter mistake to think that you will become free from rage and distress when you win the lawsuit. You may feel better temporarily after the lawsuit, but then, you will face your post traumatic stress that has deteriorated and the worse marriage relationship. The only choice you can make in the face of the overwhelming situation is getting a divorce. 

     Filing a lawsuit must wait until you treat post traumatic stress and restore happiness. Filing a lawsuit when post traumatic stress is deteriorating is to take out the frustration without thinking clearly about what to do next. Please, keep in mind that the result of the hasty action is manifested as your own mind destroyed, marriage relationship severed, and children's psychology ruined. 

https://youtu.be/EbdDPvlhL-M

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Infidelity Therapy] Treatment, suppression, or revenge upon experiencing husband infidelity

     There can be three different paths of life of women who experience husband infidelity. All of them start with the pain of death due to post traumatic stress upon discovering husband infidelity. The first type of women try to recover through treatment of the condition, the second type avoid the pain by becoming dependent on something, and the third type become pleasure seekers based on the vindictive mentality. They all try to do something about their pain since they cannot bear the excruciating pain. 

Treatment_ beginning : I can't believe I haven't known about the mechanism of human mind at all. Now I think I understand what happened. 

Suppression_beginning : Many women live with husband infidelity. It happens to most couples. He is just my husband. I can live focusing only on my children. 

Revenge_beginning : How dare he cheat on me? I will definitely get even with him. I can attack the adulteress first. Of course, I am entitled to enjoy dating other men.

     All three types of women try to recover in their own ways. One woman really begins to treat her condition, another one caps her pain with dependency on other things, and the other one starts to destroy both herself and other people to be compensated for her pain. 

Treatment_middle : I understand what happened to me, but it still hurts. I feel better one day and feel hurt the next day. Am I doing the right thing for me? I guess I have to keep going and try harder for my treatment.

Suppression_middle : How come my children give me such a hard time when I devote my whole life to them? They are everything for me. Maybe I should try harder to be a better mother. They are my only hope. 

Revenge_middle : I have been so stupid so far. I wasted my life living with my husband. Now, I will enjoy my own life.

     The condition of post traumatic stress changes for the better for the first type of women and for the worse for the second and the third types. Women in the first case may go through ups and downs of emotional state, but they eventually restore feelings of love and happiness. The second type of women may feel comfortable and forget the pain while they are being dependent on something but their condition advances and they feel miserable and lost when they are not. The third type of women develop relationship addiction on top of post traumatic stress, and they cannot bear the pain and emptiness without getting men's attention and sexual pleasure. They begin to destroy all human relationships that get in the way of their pleasure seeking. 

Treatment_end : How beautiful the world is! How adorable my children are! I am so grateful to my children for being healthy and happy. Life is worth living and every life is precious even when it experiences pain and suffering on the way. 

Suppression_end: Children have left me. What should I do with my life now? I feel suffocated. Is it menopause or empty nest syndrome? Maybe I should get a divorce, eventually. 

Revenge_end : Life is for pleasure. Those stupid women couldn't imagine how exciting life is. No men would stay with such boring women. They don't even know how to satisfy men. I feel so sorry for them. 

     Women who achieve complete recovery from post traumatic stress know how to be happy in human relationships and live happily. They generate feelings of love and happiness and can decide whether they will stay with the husband or not, keeping emotional balance. They are happy whether they are divorced or not. Women who suppress their pain and become dependent may keep living unhappily growing their pain and wounds, or become a pleasure seeker when they cannot stand the pain anymore. Women who try to revenge by living a pleasurable life end up destroying their life and the lives of many others. They cannot but live a miserable life of the worst adulteress. 

     Every woman wants to get out of pain and suffering when they discover husband infidelity. They may want to avoid the pain or take revenge. However, it is only women themselves who can choose the path of their future life : a life of happiness after recovery or a life of unhappiness and destruction. 

https://youtu.be/VkXbY7_AbuA

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Review] My resolution

 

Sometimes, I feel that I have come through the deadly tunnel. 

Other times, I feel that I still have a dark long tunnel in front of me.

Looking back, I am proud of myself for coming this much at least.

I don't cry anymore these days.

I used to cry a lot asking, 'Why me?' and feeling sorry for myself.

I feel that it was a long time ago so I can hardly remember.

I tried and tired as if I were clutching at straws. 

Now, I can manage stress and wounds to a certain degree.

I used to waste time taking psychology counseling and fortune telling. 

I am finding myself and my life back taking Mind Training.

I will keep trying until I am completely cured and restore happiness.

https://youtu.be/5GrM4uG9QIk

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