[Infidelity Therapy] Treatment, suppression, or revenge upon experiencing husband infidelity

     There can be three different paths of life of women who experience husband infidelity. All of them start with the pain of death due to post traumatic stress upon discovering husband infidelity. The first type of women try to recover through treatment of the condition, the second type avoid the pain by becoming dependent on something, and the third type become pleasure seekers based on the vindictive mentality. They all try to do something about their pain since they cannot bear the excruciating pain. 

Treatment_ beginning : I can't believe I haven't known about the mechanism of human mind at all. Now I think I understand what happened. 

Suppression_beginning : Many women live with husband infidelity. It happens to most couples. He is just my husband. I can live focusing only on my children. 

Revenge_beginning : How dare he cheat on me? I will definitely get even with him. I can attack the adulteress first. Of course, I am entitled to enjoy dating other men.

     All three types of women try to recover in their own ways. One woman really begins to treat her condition, another one caps her pain with dependency on other things, and the other one starts to destroy both herself and other people to be compensated for her pain. 

Treatment_middle : I understand what happened to me, but it still hurts. I feel better one day and feel hurt the next day. Am I doing the right thing for me? I guess I have to keep going and try harder for my treatment.

Suppression_middle : How come my children give me such a hard time when I devote my whole life to them? They are everything for me. Maybe I should try harder to be a better mother. They are my only hope. 

Revenge_middle : I have been so stupid so far. I wasted my life living with my husband. Now, I will enjoy my own life.

     The condition of post traumatic stress changes for the better for the first type of women and for the worse for the second and the third types. Women in the first case may go through ups and downs of emotional state, but they eventually restore feelings of love and happiness. The second type of women may feel comfortable and forget the pain while they are being dependent on something but their condition advances and they feel miserable and lost when they are not. The third type of women develop relationship addiction on top of post traumatic stress, and they cannot bear the pain and emptiness without getting men's attention and sexual pleasure. They begin to destroy all human relationships that get in the way of their pleasure seeking. 

Treatment_end : How beautiful the world is! How adorable my children are! I am so grateful to my children for being healthy and happy. Life is worth living and every life is precious even when it experiences pain and suffering on the way. 

Suppression_end: Children have left me. What should I do with my life now? I feel suffocated. Is it menopause or empty nest syndrome? Maybe I should get a divorce, eventually. 

Revenge_end : Life is for pleasure. Those stupid women couldn't imagine how exciting life is. No men would stay with such boring women. They don't even know how to satisfy men. I feel so sorry for them. 

     Women who achieve complete recovery from post traumatic stress know how to be happy in human relationships and live happily. They generate feelings of love and happiness and can decide whether they will stay with the husband or not, keeping emotional balance. They are happy whether they are divorced or not. Women who suppress their pain and become dependent may keep living unhappily growing their pain and wounds, or become a pleasure seeker when they cannot stand the pain anymore. Women who try to revenge by living a pleasurable life end up destroying their life and the lives of many others. They cannot but live a miserable life of the worst adulteress. 

     Every woman wants to get out of pain and suffering when they discover husband infidelity. They may want to avoid the pain or take revenge. However, it is only women themselves who can choose the path of their future life : a life of happiness after recovery or a life of unhappiness and destruction. 

https://youtu.be/VkXbY7_AbuA

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Review] My resolution

 

Sometimes, I feel that I have come through the deadly tunnel. 

Other times, I feel that I still have a dark long tunnel in front of me.

Looking back, I am proud of myself for coming this much at least.

I don't cry anymore these days.

I used to cry a lot asking, 'Why me?' and feeling sorry for myself.

I feel that it was a long time ago so I can hardly remember.

I tried and tired as if I were clutching at straws. 

Now, I can manage stress and wounds to a certain degree.

I used to waste time taking psychology counseling and fortune telling. 

I am finding myself and my life back taking Mind Training.

I will keep trying until I am completely cured and restore happiness.

https://youtu.be/5GrM4uG9QIk

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac 

[Mother Therapy] Helping children and teenagers build habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness.

 

     How would you help children and teenagers solve psychological problems? Parents do their best to solve their children's psychological problems by adopting diverse methods. They usually believe that psychology experts can solve the problem. However, in many cases, psychological problems are fixated or aggravated, the treatment continues for years without much improvement, or a symptom disappears but a new symptom appears. In the mean time, the whole family suffer from children's psychological problems and the psychological condition of children deteriorates as time passes. 

     Most conventional treatment methods of psychological problems address specific symptoms and individual problems. They do not address the underlying mechanism of human mind and psychology thereby leading to the aggravation of the condition. Addressing specific symptoms and individual problems hinders children from building habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness. 

     Children and teenagers go through 3 developmental phases of psychology : the phase of survival (from birth to age 5), the phase of adaptation to relationships (from age 3 through 13), the phase of formation of self (from age 11 through 19) before they become adults. They naturally experience many psychological problems in the developmental process of psychology. When only individual symptoms and problems are separately addressed every time they occur, children's overall psychological condition necessarily deteriorates. 

     When children and teenagers build habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness on their own, they can protect their psychology without unnecessary counseling and education. They can adopt two different methods of building habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness depending on their circumstances.

     1. When the mother has feelings of love and pays attention to children. 

     The mother can apply Mother Therapy to solve children's psychological problems. Mothers can easily help children build habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness through daily interactions when they have feelings of love and pay attention to children. They can do without unnecessary professional interventions. Mother must not have their own selfish purposes when adopting parenting strategies of Mother Therapy to avoid the aggravation of the children's condition.  

     2. When the mother is absent, the mother does not know about Mother Therapy, or children's psychological problems have developed due to mother's psychological problems. 

     When children and teenagers have a protector or a primary care giver and they have the belief that they are safely protected and cared, children can take Youth Mind Training to solve psychological problems to build habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness. The protector or the care giver must not have selfish purposes in helping children and teenagers such as success in their own career, reputation, or financial gain, which will aggravate children's psychological condition. 

     Conventional approaches that address individual symptoms and problems cannot provide fundamental solutions to psychological problems of children and teenagers as well as to the problems of adults. They usually aggravate psychological conditions. When children and teenagers build habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness, they don't need professional intervention for symptomatic therapies every time they experience psychological difficulties. All human beings experience diverse psychological problems in the course of life and what we need is to build our own habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness. 

https://youtu.be/W5RHpfQDu-8

                                      Apply for free consultation 

                       on child's psychological problem

                            Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

[Infidelity Therapy] The husband in infidelity, the wife in pain, and the adulteress as a sexual object

 

     All parties involved in a case of infidelity, the husband in infidelity, the wife in pain, and the adulteress as a sexual object are living an unhappy life. They end up living a life of destruction unless they take a proper treatment such as KIP Treatment. Without proper treatment, all of them end up living a life of destruction destroying love, happiness, and sexuality as well as all human relationships pursuing only their own survival and pleasure. 

     [The wife in pain] When the wife suspects or discovers husband infidelity, she develops post traumatic stress. She may end up destroying love, happiness and sexuality as well as all human relationships. Post traumatic stress deteriorates as time passes unless properly treated. 

     1. She develops dependency on things, activities, or people. The objects of dependency could be anything from children, family, career, religion, study, hobbies, counseling, to shopping, traveling, plastic surgery, diet, or sex. They feel comfort and relief only through the activities that cap their negative emotions. Their level of dependency increases and post traumatic stress advances, which destroys their own life and the life of many others.      

     2. She destroys her whole life. As post traumatic stress advances, she destroys love, happiness, and sexuality as well as all human relationships. She only pursues her own pleasure including sexual pleasure. She easily becomes a sexual object of many men and a victim or a perpetrator of crimes related with affairs whether she is divorced or not. 

     3. She destroys the life of her husband and children. Post traumatic stress her husband's relationship addiction progress as she suppresses her pain, develops dependency or obsession, or keeps taking practical measures. The husband eventually develops intermittent explosive disorder and destroys his life. Children's psychology also deteriorates and they develop psychological problems. They will experience spouse infidelity or commit infidelity themselves when they become adults.

     The wife who is suffering from husband infidelity must treat her post traumatic stress and build habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness by taking proper treatment programs such as KIP Treatment. When she treats her condition and live happily with children, she can give her husband an opportunity to treat his relationship addiction. 

     [The husband in infidelity] The husband does not realize that he has developed relationship addiction. He is addicted to the adulteress's sexual response and destroys his own life. Relationship addiction is a psychological disorder that destroys love, happiness, and sexuality as well as all human relationships. 

     1. He can be damaged by the adulteress any time. As the adulteress's sexual response grows bigger and bigger, she may develop hysteria and destroy everything.           

     2. The husband in infidelity usually neglects his wife thinking that his wife can never commit infidelity. In the mean time, the wife may easily respond sexually to men around her as her post traumatic stress progresses and become an adulteress. 

     3. The husband and the wife have developed relationship addiction and post traumatic stress respectively. In the mean time, children are not cared properly and can develop psychological problems. They are easily taken advantage of by other people. 

     The husband in infidelity must take KIP treatment to treat relationship addiction and sexual dysfunction. Then, they will build habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness and never commit infidelity. When the husband recovers, he can protect his family and persuade his wife to treat post traumatic stress. 

     [The adulteress as a sexual object] The adulteress does not realize that she has developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced psychological disorder. She is addicted to men's attention and consolation and easily becomes a sexual object of many men. Of course, she destroys love, happiness, sexuality as well as all human relationships. She may be attacked by the adulterer's wife or become a victim of intermittent explosive disorder of the adulterer. She is in danger of becoming a victim or a perpetrator of crimes related with infidelity. She may mistake becoming a sexual object of many men for happiness and pleasure and feel confident and proud. 

     The adulteress must take KIP Treatment and treat her condition on her own without anyone's help. She can restore happiness by building habits of treatment, prevention, and happiness. 

https://youtu.be/qri5OxGXUs4

 

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Review] Deeply moved and overwhelmed for the first time in my life

 

I was diagnosed for being completely cured. I was surprised and began to cry. ​

I started on October 20th in 2019. It took 131 weeks. 

I remember my first visit to the KIP office. I registered and took all the textbooks and publications home being anxious to start the training. 

I did my best to treat myself. ​

Of course, I went through trials and errors. 

I failed and began again several times. 

I was anxious but time went by slowly.

Eventually, time went by and I was cured. ​

My past life passes by fast in my memory. 

I feel moved and overwhelmed and speechless.

I shed tears of gratitude. 

I am happy, proud, and grateful. 

I got myself back. 

I got my feelings back.

I am ready to live happily for myself and for my loved ones. 

I feel confident and healthy again. ​

I would like to thank all the staff, who helped proceed with the program,

and Mr. Beomyoung Kim, who designed the treatment program based on the Theory of Mimind. 

Thank you.

                                    https://youtu.be/m12B4sxIrVE

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac 

[Infidelity Therapy] How the husband in infidelity can recover

 

    The husband in infidelity has developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder. Relationship addiction causes the destruction of relationships, love, happiness, and sexuality. It is impossible for the husband to recover only by trying on his own. 

   The victimized wife develops post traumatic stress and perceives all her memories of past experiences as wounds suffering from excruciating pain. She is on the verge of developing a psychological disorder that destroys relationships, love, happiness, and sexuality. It is also impossible for the wife to recover only by trying on her own. 

    There are two ways the husband in relationship addiction can recover. One is to have a strong will power to live after he loses everything he has achieved in his whole life and almost gives up on his life. He must realize that the cause of his collapse is psychological disorder and build up a strong will power to recover by taking KIP treatment program. He must treat relationship addiction, prevent the recurrence of the condition, and build habits of healing and happiness. He can restore happiness and regain what he has lost after he is cured completely.

   If he has not collapses completely, not lost everything he has, not experienced a crisis of losing his life, and he does not have a strong will power for life, he wouldn't even think about recovery. He couldn't recover even if he tries unless he realizes and admits that his relationship addiction has caused his misfortune, and adopts a right treatment method with professional help. 

    The other is for the victimized wife to build happiness ability through KIP treatment program and the husband an opportunity to treat relationship addiction. When the wife restore happiness, the husband can have hope for happiness and have the will poser to treat his condition. He can treat relationship addiction, prevent the recurrence of the condition, and build habits of healing and happiness. He can restore happiness and regain what he has lost after he is cured completely.

     When the husband recover through the two methods described above, he never commits infidelity again and lives happily with his wife. When the husband has recovered but the wife has not, it is impossible for them to stay together. When the wife refuses to treat herself and insists on staying with post traumatic stress, the husband has to get a divorce to protect children from the wife and live happily with children.            It is not important to argue about who is in the wrong and who is in pain when infidelity occurs. The life of the whole family is at stake. Both the husband and the wife must treat their psychological disorders to restore individuals' happiness and the happiness of the family. 

 https://youtu.be/eguCyfARu-M

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Infidelity Therapy] The spouse in infidelity can never feel the pain you feel.

 [Infidelity Therapy] Displaying rage and taking practical measures does not solve the problem of infidelity.

      Empathizing with the victimized spouse does not help solve the issue of spouse infidelity. It is only natural that the victimized spouse suffers from excruciating pain when spouse infidelity is discovered. You may have to deal with many other related problems, too. However, the spouse in infidelity has already developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder that destroys relationships and sexuality.

     The spouse in infidelity perceives the victimized spouse's display of rage and anger only as stress instead of empathizing with the pain and suffering, which aggravates relationship addiction. Some people say that their expressions of pain and suffering have led the spouse in infidelity to ask for forgiveness and become nice to the victimized spouse. He of she is simply trying to get red of stress by being nice. No one understands that relationship addiction only deteriorates in this process.      Displaying rage and anger or expressing pain and suffering only aggravate relationship addiction and post traumatic stress. 

     What you urgently need now is not expressing how you feel to feel better or taking practical measures to solve the issue of infidelity. It is not also important to find proof of infidelity or what happened to your spouse. The important thing is to understand that your spouse, your children, and you are in the crisis situation that may destroy family and everyone's life.

    The only person who can lead the spouse in infidelity to treat relationship addiction is the victimized spouse who is suffering from post traumatic stress. First, you must treat your post traumatic stress and restore happiness. Then, you must protect your children and restore a happy family. Then, you can give the spouse in infidelity an opportunity to treat relationship addiction. Following the suggested order is also important. 

     Any other attempt to address the issue of infidelity may lead to the aggravation of psychological conditions of all family members and lead to the life of destruction and destruction. Displaying rage and anger, expressing pain and suffering, suppressing yourself and enduring the situation, or taking practical measures never leads to happiness of the individuals and family. First and foremost, you may treat your post traumatic stress to restore happiness of yourself and your children. 

ttps://youtu.be/bf9FrTMsqY0

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Mother Therapy] How can I teach my teenage son to manage allowance?

 

     Q. My teenage boy spends away allowance within a week regardless of the amount of money. I would like to know if I have to give him weekly allowance and how much money is appropriate. 

     A. We must first ask ourselves why parents would give allowance. It is probably because parents want to have children build the right concept of money and learn how to spend money in an appropriate way. 

     When your boy was younger, he must have asked for money every time he needed money for specific purposes. Then, as he grows, he gets allowance and spends money by his own planning. He has never managed allowance before so he must be less organized in spending money and may spend all the allowance in a short time. Then, he has to spend some time without money and experience inconvenience. He may experience diverse trials and errors such as asking parents for more allowance or even losing money sometimes. 

     From parent's point of view, the child's way of managing allowance is so clumsy and worrisome. He may be spending money on unnecessary things or look thoughtless in money management. Then, parents may try to change the pattern and the rule of giving allowance to the child. 

     You can make reference to other families around you for how much money is appropriate and the term of giving allowance. Of course, the final decision must accord with your family's situation and ideas on money management. You must also discuss how allowance will be given with your boy since your boy is a teenager, who is in the process of forming his own thought standards and would not comply unless he can understand everything from his own point of view. You must not simply impose your standards on your teenage boy to prevent him from generating unnecessary stress.         

     When you accurately understand children's psychological development and the right parenting methods, you will be able to adopt appropriate way to give him allowance with reference to other families around you and guide him to manage allowance in the right way. 

     It is natural and important for teenagers to experience trials and errors in the process of forming their own thought standards. Parents must provide the right environment for building the right thought standards for children. Mother Therapy guides mothers to learn about children's psychological development and the right parenting methods so that mothers can provide children with the right environment for forming healthy thought standards making trials and errors. 

https://youtu.be/cKMXuu20fSc

Apply for free consultation 

                       on child's psychological problem

                            Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

[Infidelity Therapy] Parents who have relationship addiction or post traumatic stress must not raise children.

 

     When spouse infidelity occurs, the spouse in infidelity has developed relationship addiction and the victimized spouse who discovers spouse infidelity has developed post traumatic stress. Relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder, causes the spouse in infidelity destroy relationships, love, happiness, and sexuality. 

     The parent in relationships addiction damages children's psychology since he or she raises children in the condition of psychological disorder. Children must be separated from the parent who has relationship addiction so that they can grow with healthy psychology. The parent who has relationship addiction must treat his or her condition before they can raise children in a healthy way. 

     Post traumatic stress also causes the victimized spouse destroy relationships, love, happiness, and sexuality. Taking any practical measure aggravates the condition developing into a severe psychological disorder. The condition may become even more serious than relationship addiction when neglected. 

     Children who are raised by parents who have relationship addiction and post traumatic stress easily develop psychological problems, so it is not recommended children stay with parents with such conditions. Of course, the parent who has developed post traumatic stress must treat his or her condition and restore happiness first before resuming parenting. 

      No parent wants to destroy their children's psychology by their own hands knowing that their psychological disorders are detrimental to children's psychological health. Not doing their best to treat themselves adopting accurate methods even when they know that they can damage children equates with deliberately trying to damage children. When parents treat their conditions and restore love and happiness, all family members can live together happily providing children with the best environment for growth. 

https://youtu.be/4B8wVlL9ML8

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Review] Gathering up my will and making efforts again.

 

     At first, I felt like I was struck by lightning, and my mind went blank. It felt like I was abandoned by the world or thrown away into hell at one blow. I couldn’t do anything. I desperately wanted to get out of hell, but I didn’t know how. ​

     I despaired having no one to ask for help. I searched for help on the internet, literally shaking all over. I watched videos and writings of KIP and decided to treat myself. I hesitated for some time because the expense was pretty high, but I chose to take the program since my whole life was at stake. I don’t even want to think about what would have happened to me if I had just ignored this program. 

     I felt much better shortly after I began the treatment, so I became conceited thinking treatment was quite easy. I focused on doing therapeutic tasks for the first year, and then spent the next one year neglecting self-check. Another year has passed neglecting even therapeutic tasks, and now I am trying to do my best again for my treatment. I deeply regret about the last one year when I didn’t do much for treatment. 

     It is obvious that I got better but I still have some degree of anger and pain. I used to be a person who cried a lot over small things, but somehow I didn’t cry much after I began the treatment program. I wish I could cry like hell once, just put everything behind, and start all over. I know I have to focus on my treatment instead of crying or anything else. I will keep going to restore my happiness back. 

https://youtu.be/VyTlrm7MlJQ

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac 

[Mother Therapy] What can I do when my daughter has an argument in a chat room with friends?

 

     Q. My 10-year-old daughter got involved in an argument in a chat room with friends. A girl criticized my daughter for playing with other girls at another playground. My daughter apologized but other girls also criticized my daughter. I am worried about my daughter getting hurt by the conflict with friends. Is there anything I can do or should I pretend I am not worried that much?

     A. Your 10-year-old daughter has begun to enter the phase of forming her own thought standards. She will form her own thought standards based on her own memories and experiences including both direct and indirect experiences. 

     It is understandable that mother is worried about her daughter getting involved in an argument with friends and experiencing conflicts in relationships. You must be worried about something worse happening than just having an argument, but you don't know exactly how you can help. 

     The first and foremost thing to consider is your daughter's safety. Safety includes not only physical safety but also psychological safety. First, you can carefully listen to what happened to her. You don't have to make any suggestions for solutions. You can just show her how much you are interested in what is going on in your daughter's situation and understand her problems and difficulties. You shouldn't tell her what to do and what not to do, but you can tell her about your own experiences similar to her situation. Then, she is likely to figure out what to do in a relationship with friends on her own. 

     There are many possibilities on why such a situation has occurred. You can help her to broaden the perspective and look at the situation from different angles by freely talking about it. Maybe the friend is envious of your daughter, or your daughter is causing problems in the group. You can help her find the root cause of the conflict by having different points of view instead of judging what is right and what is wrong.         

     When the mother gets involved in children's conflicts directly, it may cause even more serious problems. Pretending you don't know or are not worried may lead her feel neglected. When you first listen to your daughter's thoughts and feelings, and then, share your ideas empathizing with her, your daughter will stabilize her psychology and be able to think and judge rationally. In the process, she will grow and mature psychologically.

https://youtu.be/vmANYrsIdew

Apply for free consultation 

                       on child's psychological problem

                            Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

[Infidelity Therapy] People who criticize infidelity cases

Some people feel good by criticizing other people's infidelity cases saying, “They deserve the punishment”, “Such people should learn the lesson by losing everything”.     However, people in infidelity are still someone's husband and wife and parents of their children. The victimized spouses suffer from pain but usually want to restore happiness. Other people's criticism may lead them to give up the restoration of happy family and lead themselves to unhappy and destructive life. 

People who feel good by criticizing infidelity cases are considered to be trying to destroy the suffering family. They may also experience spouse infidelity or commit infidelity themselves in the future and get criticized by other people. We all must be extremely cautions to mention infidelity cases in other families since it can damage people related with infidelity in many ways. 

People who not only criticize infidelity cases but also encourage the victimized spouses to take practical measures such as counseling, coaching, lawsuits, and divorce are also considered to be trying to destroy the family who are suffering from infidelity.       When spouse infidelity occurs, getting counseling and advice leads to unhappiness and the destruction of life. You must first treat your psychological condition in the right way and restore happiness. You must wisely distinguish people who seem to try to help but actually lead you to unhappiness from people who lead you to true happiness. 

There are so many so-called experts on infidelity who encourage the victimized spouses to take all kinds of practical measures. Sadly enough, not many of them understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology including the psychology of infidelity. You should never fall for the temptation of people with fame and popularity who aim for their own profit and gain in disguise of professional guidance. 

https://youtu.be/yUVlP5ALfW8

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Review] Swayed, but get back and keep going

I started the KIP Treatment Program a year ago, but I actually have focused on the treatment only for about 3 months. 

I was in the worst condition when I registered for the program, but I just idled away for several months. Then, I realized that I could destroy all my life, and began to really focus on each chapter of Mind Training. 

I diligently repeated therapeutic tasks. Extreme chronic stress began to subside and panicky feelings when I saw women on the street almost disappeared. 

I blocked all the relationships with people, and just focused on my work, home, and treatment for 3 months. 

My body began to recover, everything is better than before, but I still get swayed by unstable emotions. I should keep up with my will and efforts. 

It feels like I am walking on a narrow path full of fog. I have no one to ask for the direction and no foot steps to follow. 

I guess I am the only one who can find the way for myself. I have hope for my life. 

I will keep walking step by step. I finished my task for the day as usual. 

https://youtu.be/iIArRtGOvyU

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac  

[Infidelity Therapy] Is infidelity passed down to the next generation?

 

[Infidelity Therapy] Parents who want their children not to experience the pain of spouse infidelity. 

Anyone who has suffered from spouse infidelity would want their children not to go through the same suffering in the future. This applies to everyone around the world. However, many people do not understand the true nature and the root cause of infidelity and are falsely led to believe that infidelity is caused by problems of marriage, sexuality, love, and circumstances.

Infidelity is caused by relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder and nothing else is the cause of infidelity. The victimized spouse suffers from post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. The victimized spouses may want their children not to suffer from spouse infidelity when they become adults. However, they cannot prevent their children's suffering since they do not know the true nature and the root cause of infidelity, which is relationship addiction as a form of a psychological disorder. They do not know that post traumatic stress is also a psychological disorder that destroys all human relationships and causes their mind to perish including love, passion, happiness, and sexuality. 

Children who grow up in a family where parents have relationship addiction and post traumatic stress cannot but suffer from problems of marriage, sexuality, love, and circumstances as they become adults. They may even become exposed to dangerous situations even before they become adults. They are highly likely to commit infidelity or suffer from spouse infidelity after they get married. 

You must treat post traumatic stress and relationship addiction and live a happy life to be able to protect your children and prevent such dire incidents from occurring in your children's life. You will also be able to guide them in the right direction in case infidelity occurs in their life. 

Sadly enough, the reality is that not many people understand the true nature of spouse infidelity and post traumatic stress. When you give up on your treatment of post traumatic stress and give up on your happiness, you cannot but pass down infidelity to your children. You will also guide your children in the wrong direction by encouraging      taking practical measures such as counseling, lawsuits, and divorce as well as dependency and compulsion and leading them to live unhappy and destructive life. This is how infidelity is passed down from generation to generation. 

Please, be noted that giving up on your treatment and giving up on your true happiness is equivalent to passing down infidelity to your children's generation. Children will follow the exactly the same path of life as their parents' when parents live unhappy and destructive life without properly treating relationship addiction and post traumatic stress. 

                                  https://youtu.be/b7KFwMkG9_M 

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Mother Therapy] How to live happily with children after divorce

Q. I got a divorce a few months ago and I am living with a teenage son and a teenage daughter. My son had behavioral issues before the divorce and he still has problems such as runaway, smoking, skipping school, and hanging out with school dropouts. Both my son and I are having a difficult time. I want to get along well with my son, but I don't know how and what to do. 

A. Most people think that children experience difficulties and have problems due to parents' divorce. However, parents' divorce itself has less effect on children's psychology than anxiety and depression they go through watching parents go through difficulties in the process of getting a divorce. 

Parents necessarily experience great stress and wounds in the process of getting a divorce even though they agree on the divorce and other related matters, so their divorce process goes rather smoothly. Parents' stress and wounds before and after the divorce are delivered to children entirely without being modified much.

Of course, most parents do their best not to affect children negatively in the process of getting a divorce. They may think that getting a divorce must be better than unhappy marriage for children. However, getting a divorce is only a way to avoid stress and wounds, not a way to solve the core issues. The mother may try hard to hold herself and do her best for her children as a divorced woman and a single mother, but her unconscious necessarily makes her express her wounds toward the closest people including her children in spite of herself. Then, the son finds it uncomfortable and stressful to stay at home. He would do his best to stay away from home, and be led to hang out with boys on the street. The daughter's condition is not mentioned in the question, but she is also likely to be experiencing difficulties whether it is displayed or not. She may be accommodating and suppressing her own wounds caused by her mother's expressions of wounds. The psychology of the child who suppresses emotions is likely to be more serious and more unstable than that of the child who expresses them outwardly. 

Teenage boys and girls are going through the phase of formation of self-identity in the development of psychology. They form their own thought standards based on their memories and experiences. When they cannot clearly understand what flows in for perception, stress and wounds are generated inside them. Some children may accommodate and suppress stress and wounds, and others may express them as they are. Healthy children naturally express their emotions be it positive or negative. Hiding emotions leads to the accumulation of stress and wounds. 

All family members cannot but go through a difficult time when parents get a divorce. Getting a divorce is more than just getting separated legally and physically, and children are affected no matter how hard you try as the mother. The mother must accurately understand what she and her children are going through psychologically. Then, she must treat her own condition and adopt right parenting strategies to stabilize children's psychology. 

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[Infidelity Therapy] Distorted mind and psychology that make the spouse in infidelity think and behave differently from normal people.

 

The victimized spouse usually develops post traumatic stress and suffers from excruciating pain upon discovering spouse infidelity. The victimized spouse may try to restore marriage relationship by displaying anger, persuading the spouse in infidelity, or blaming him or herself, but may not want to believe that their spouse has committed infidelity due to relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder.

Wife infidelity may have occurred as a revenge affair against husband infidelity, as an aggravated condition caused by post traumatic stress, or by being a target of the adulterer who recognizes her vulnerable condition. Then, the wife is considered to have developed relationship addiction, which is a severe psychological disorder that destroys all human relationships. The same applies to husband infidelity. 

The mind of the spouse in infidelity is considered to have stopped operating normally for relationships, passion, sexuality, and happiness. Thus, the wife in infidelity focuses only on getting attention from the adulterer in return for providing the adulterer with sexual responses, and the husband in infidelity focuses only on getting sexual responses from the adulteress in return for providing the adulteress with attention and consolation.

Relationship addiction makes the spouse in infidelity develop distorted passion and pursue sexual pleasure, mistaking pleasure for happiness and justifying his or her distorted ideas and behaviors. They become highly illogical, irrational, and sophistic, justifying infidelity at all costs. Then, they naturally develop problems in normal relationships with normal people who think and behave differently from them.

In this situation, the only person who can restore the mind and psychology of the spouse in infidelity is the victimized spouse who has treated his or her post traumatic stress and has happiness ability. However, the victimized spouse usually does not even know this fact and just keeps suffering from the pain of post traumatic stress. All the practical measures they take as efforts to restore marriage relationship only aggravate their condition, and lead them to lose the chance to restore the mind and psychology of the spouse in infidelity. 

The victimized spouse who suffers from spouse infidelity must understand that the first and foremost thing he or she has to do to restore marriage relationship is to treat his or her post traumatic stress. Then, they can live happily with children and give the spouse in infidelity an opportunity to treat relationship addiction. The victimized spouse must not destroy his or her own mind just because the spouse in infidelity has destroyed his or her own mind. They can help their spouses in infidelity recover only when they have recovered first. 

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