[Infidelity Therapy] How the husband in infidelity can recover

 

    The husband in infidelity has developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder. Relationship addiction causes the destruction of relationships, love, happiness, and sexuality. It is impossible for the husband to recover only by trying on his own. 

   The victimized wife develops post traumatic stress and perceives all her memories of past experiences as wounds suffering from excruciating pain. She is on the verge of developing a psychological disorder that destroys relationships, love, happiness, and sexuality. It is also impossible for the wife to recover only by trying on her own. 

    There are two ways the husband in relationship addiction can recover. One is to have a strong will power to live after he loses everything he has achieved in his whole life and almost gives up on his life. He must realize that the cause of his collapse is psychological disorder and build up a strong will power to recover by taking KIP treatment program. He must treat relationship addiction, prevent the recurrence of the condition, and build habits of healing and happiness. He can restore happiness and regain what he has lost after he is cured completely.

   If he has not collapses completely, not lost everything he has, not experienced a crisis of losing his life, and he does not have a strong will power for life, he wouldn't even think about recovery. He couldn't recover even if he tries unless he realizes and admits that his relationship addiction has caused his misfortune, and adopts a right treatment method with professional help. 

    The other is for the victimized wife to build happiness ability through KIP treatment program and the husband an opportunity to treat relationship addiction. When the wife restore happiness, the husband can have hope for happiness and have the will poser to treat his condition. He can treat relationship addiction, prevent the recurrence of the condition, and build habits of healing and happiness. He can restore happiness and regain what he has lost after he is cured completely.

     When the husband recover through the two methods described above, he never commits infidelity again and lives happily with his wife. When the husband has recovered but the wife has not, it is impossible for them to stay together. When the wife refuses to treat herself and insists on staying with post traumatic stress, the husband has to get a divorce to protect children from the wife and live happily with children.            It is not important to argue about who is in the wrong and who is in pain when infidelity occurs. The life of the whole family is at stake. Both the husband and the wife must treat their psychological disorders to restore individuals' happiness and the happiness of the family. 

 https://youtu.be/eguCyfARu-M

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[Infidelity Therapy] The spouse in infidelity can never feel the pain you feel.

 [Infidelity Therapy] Displaying rage and taking practical measures does not solve the problem of infidelity.

      Empathizing with the victimized spouse does not help solve the issue of spouse infidelity. It is only natural that the victimized spouse suffers from excruciating pain when spouse infidelity is discovered. You may have to deal with many other related problems, too. However, the spouse in infidelity has already developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder that destroys relationships and sexuality.

     The spouse in infidelity perceives the victimized spouse's display of rage and anger only as stress instead of empathizing with the pain and suffering, which aggravates relationship addiction. Some people say that their expressions of pain and suffering have led the spouse in infidelity to ask for forgiveness and become nice to the victimized spouse. He of she is simply trying to get red of stress by being nice. No one understands that relationship addiction only deteriorates in this process.      Displaying rage and anger or expressing pain and suffering only aggravate relationship addiction and post traumatic stress. 

     What you urgently need now is not expressing how you feel to feel better or taking practical measures to solve the issue of infidelity. It is not also important to find proof of infidelity or what happened to your spouse. The important thing is to understand that your spouse, your children, and you are in the crisis situation that may destroy family and everyone's life.

    The only person who can lead the spouse in infidelity to treat relationship addiction is the victimized spouse who is suffering from post traumatic stress. First, you must treat your post traumatic stress and restore happiness. Then, you must protect your children and restore a happy family. Then, you can give the spouse in infidelity an opportunity to treat relationship addiction. Following the suggested order is also important. 

     Any other attempt to address the issue of infidelity may lead to the aggravation of psychological conditions of all family members and lead to the life of destruction and destruction. Displaying rage and anger, expressing pain and suffering, suppressing yourself and enduring the situation, or taking practical measures never leads to happiness of the individuals and family. First and foremost, you may treat your post traumatic stress to restore happiness of yourself and your children. 

ttps://youtu.be/bf9FrTMsqY0

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[Mother Therapy] How can I teach my teenage son to manage allowance?

 

     Q. My teenage boy spends away allowance within a week regardless of the amount of money. I would like to know if I have to give him weekly allowance and how much money is appropriate. 

     A. We must first ask ourselves why parents would give allowance. It is probably because parents want to have children build the right concept of money and learn how to spend money in an appropriate way. 

     When your boy was younger, he must have asked for money every time he needed money for specific purposes. Then, as he grows, he gets allowance and spends money by his own planning. He has never managed allowance before so he must be less organized in spending money and may spend all the allowance in a short time. Then, he has to spend some time without money and experience inconvenience. He may experience diverse trials and errors such as asking parents for more allowance or even losing money sometimes. 

     From parent's point of view, the child's way of managing allowance is so clumsy and worrisome. He may be spending money on unnecessary things or look thoughtless in money management. Then, parents may try to change the pattern and the rule of giving allowance to the child. 

     You can make reference to other families around you for how much money is appropriate and the term of giving allowance. Of course, the final decision must accord with your family's situation and ideas on money management. You must also discuss how allowance will be given with your boy since your boy is a teenager, who is in the process of forming his own thought standards and would not comply unless he can understand everything from his own point of view. You must not simply impose your standards on your teenage boy to prevent him from generating unnecessary stress.         

     When you accurately understand children's psychological development and the right parenting methods, you will be able to adopt appropriate way to give him allowance with reference to other families around you and guide him to manage allowance in the right way. 

     It is natural and important for teenagers to experience trials and errors in the process of forming their own thought standards. Parents must provide the right environment for building the right thought standards for children. Mother Therapy guides mothers to learn about children's psychological development and the right parenting methods so that mothers can provide children with the right environment for forming healthy thought standards making trials and errors. 

https://youtu.be/cKMXuu20fSc

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[Infidelity Therapy] Parents who have relationship addiction or post traumatic stress must not raise children.

 

     When spouse infidelity occurs, the spouse in infidelity has developed relationship addiction and the victimized spouse who discovers spouse infidelity has developed post traumatic stress. Relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder, causes the spouse in infidelity destroy relationships, love, happiness, and sexuality. 

     The parent in relationships addiction damages children's psychology since he or she raises children in the condition of psychological disorder. Children must be separated from the parent who has relationship addiction so that they can grow with healthy psychology. The parent who has relationship addiction must treat his or her condition before they can raise children in a healthy way. 

     Post traumatic stress also causes the victimized spouse destroy relationships, love, happiness, and sexuality. Taking any practical measure aggravates the condition developing into a severe psychological disorder. The condition may become even more serious than relationship addiction when neglected. 

     Children who are raised by parents who have relationship addiction and post traumatic stress easily develop psychological problems, so it is not recommended children stay with parents with such conditions. Of course, the parent who has developed post traumatic stress must treat his or her condition and restore happiness first before resuming parenting. 

      No parent wants to destroy their children's psychology by their own hands knowing that their psychological disorders are detrimental to children's psychological health. Not doing their best to treat themselves adopting accurate methods even when they know that they can damage children equates with deliberately trying to damage children. When parents treat their conditions and restore love and happiness, all family members can live together happily providing children with the best environment for growth. 

https://youtu.be/4B8wVlL9ML8

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[Review] Gathering up my will and making efforts again.

 

     At first, I felt like I was struck by lightning, and my mind went blank. It felt like I was abandoned by the world or thrown away into hell at one blow. I couldn’t do anything. I desperately wanted to get out of hell, but I didn’t know how. ​

     I despaired having no one to ask for help. I searched for help on the internet, literally shaking all over. I watched videos and writings of KIP and decided to treat myself. I hesitated for some time because the expense was pretty high, but I chose to take the program since my whole life was at stake. I don’t even want to think about what would have happened to me if I had just ignored this program. 

     I felt much better shortly after I began the treatment, so I became conceited thinking treatment was quite easy. I focused on doing therapeutic tasks for the first year, and then spent the next one year neglecting self-check. Another year has passed neglecting even therapeutic tasks, and now I am trying to do my best again for my treatment. I deeply regret about the last one year when I didn’t do much for treatment. 

     It is obvious that I got better but I still have some degree of anger and pain. I used to be a person who cried a lot over small things, but somehow I didn’t cry much after I began the treatment program. I wish I could cry like hell once, just put everything behind, and start all over. I know I have to focus on my treatment instead of crying or anything else. I will keep going to restore my happiness back. 

https://youtu.be/VyTlrm7MlJQ

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[Mother Therapy] What can I do when my daughter has an argument in a chat room with friends?

 

     Q. My 10-year-old daughter got involved in an argument in a chat room with friends. A girl criticized my daughter for playing with other girls at another playground. My daughter apologized but other girls also criticized my daughter. I am worried about my daughter getting hurt by the conflict with friends. Is there anything I can do or should I pretend I am not worried that much?

     A. Your 10-year-old daughter has begun to enter the phase of forming her own thought standards. She will form her own thought standards based on her own memories and experiences including both direct and indirect experiences. 

     It is understandable that mother is worried about her daughter getting involved in an argument with friends and experiencing conflicts in relationships. You must be worried about something worse happening than just having an argument, but you don't know exactly how you can help. 

     The first and foremost thing to consider is your daughter's safety. Safety includes not only physical safety but also psychological safety. First, you can carefully listen to what happened to her. You don't have to make any suggestions for solutions. You can just show her how much you are interested in what is going on in your daughter's situation and understand her problems and difficulties. You shouldn't tell her what to do and what not to do, but you can tell her about your own experiences similar to her situation. Then, she is likely to figure out what to do in a relationship with friends on her own. 

     There are many possibilities on why such a situation has occurred. You can help her to broaden the perspective and look at the situation from different angles by freely talking about it. Maybe the friend is envious of your daughter, or your daughter is causing problems in the group. You can help her find the root cause of the conflict by having different points of view instead of judging what is right and what is wrong.         

     When the mother gets involved in children's conflicts directly, it may cause even more serious problems. Pretending you don't know or are not worried may lead her feel neglected. When you first listen to your daughter's thoughts and feelings, and then, share your ideas empathizing with her, your daughter will stabilize her psychology and be able to think and judge rationally. In the process, she will grow and mature psychologically.

https://youtu.be/vmANYrsIdew

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[Infidelity Therapy] People who criticize infidelity cases

Some people feel good by criticizing other people's infidelity cases saying, “They deserve the punishment”, “Such people should learn the lesson by losing everything”.     However, people in infidelity are still someone's husband and wife and parents of their children. The victimized spouses suffer from pain but usually want to restore happiness. Other people's criticism may lead them to give up the restoration of happy family and lead themselves to unhappy and destructive life. 

People who feel good by criticizing infidelity cases are considered to be trying to destroy the suffering family. They may also experience spouse infidelity or commit infidelity themselves in the future and get criticized by other people. We all must be extremely cautions to mention infidelity cases in other families since it can damage people related with infidelity in many ways. 

People who not only criticize infidelity cases but also encourage the victimized spouses to take practical measures such as counseling, coaching, lawsuits, and divorce are also considered to be trying to destroy the family who are suffering from infidelity.       When spouse infidelity occurs, getting counseling and advice leads to unhappiness and the destruction of life. You must first treat your psychological condition in the right way and restore happiness. You must wisely distinguish people who seem to try to help but actually lead you to unhappiness from people who lead you to true happiness. 

There are so many so-called experts on infidelity who encourage the victimized spouses to take all kinds of practical measures. Sadly enough, not many of them understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology including the psychology of infidelity. You should never fall for the temptation of people with fame and popularity who aim for their own profit and gain in disguise of professional guidance. 

https://youtu.be/yUVlP5ALfW8

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[Review] Swayed, but get back and keep going

I started the KIP Treatment Program a year ago, but I actually have focused on the treatment only for about 3 months. 

I was in the worst condition when I registered for the program, but I just idled away for several months. Then, I realized that I could destroy all my life, and began to really focus on each chapter of Mind Training. 

I diligently repeated therapeutic tasks. Extreme chronic stress began to subside and panicky feelings when I saw women on the street almost disappeared. 

I blocked all the relationships with people, and just focused on my work, home, and treatment for 3 months. 

My body began to recover, everything is better than before, but I still get swayed by unstable emotions. I should keep up with my will and efforts. 

It feels like I am walking on a narrow path full of fog. I have no one to ask for the direction and no foot steps to follow. 

I guess I am the only one who can find the way for myself. I have hope for my life. 

I will keep walking step by step. I finished my task for the day as usual. 

https://youtu.be/iIArRtGOvyU

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[Infidelity Therapy] Is infidelity passed down to the next generation?

 

[Infidelity Therapy] Parents who want their children not to experience the pain of spouse infidelity. 

Anyone who has suffered from spouse infidelity would want their children not to go through the same suffering in the future. This applies to everyone around the world. However, many people do not understand the true nature and the root cause of infidelity and are falsely led to believe that infidelity is caused by problems of marriage, sexuality, love, and circumstances.

Infidelity is caused by relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder and nothing else is the cause of infidelity. The victimized spouse suffers from post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. The victimized spouses may want their children not to suffer from spouse infidelity when they become adults. However, they cannot prevent their children's suffering since they do not know the true nature and the root cause of infidelity, which is relationship addiction as a form of a psychological disorder. They do not know that post traumatic stress is also a psychological disorder that destroys all human relationships and causes their mind to perish including love, passion, happiness, and sexuality. 

Children who grow up in a family where parents have relationship addiction and post traumatic stress cannot but suffer from problems of marriage, sexuality, love, and circumstances as they become adults. They may even become exposed to dangerous situations even before they become adults. They are highly likely to commit infidelity or suffer from spouse infidelity after they get married. 

You must treat post traumatic stress and relationship addiction and live a happy life to be able to protect your children and prevent such dire incidents from occurring in your children's life. You will also be able to guide them in the right direction in case infidelity occurs in their life. 

Sadly enough, the reality is that not many people understand the true nature of spouse infidelity and post traumatic stress. When you give up on your treatment of post traumatic stress and give up on your happiness, you cannot but pass down infidelity to your children. You will also guide your children in the wrong direction by encouraging      taking practical measures such as counseling, lawsuits, and divorce as well as dependency and compulsion and leading them to live unhappy and destructive life. This is how infidelity is passed down from generation to generation. 

Please, be noted that giving up on your treatment and giving up on your true happiness is equivalent to passing down infidelity to your children's generation. Children will follow the exactly the same path of life as their parents' when parents live unhappy and destructive life without properly treating relationship addiction and post traumatic stress. 

                                  https://youtu.be/b7KFwMkG9_M 

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[Mother Therapy] How to live happily with children after divorce

Q. I got a divorce a few months ago and I am living with a teenage son and a teenage daughter. My son had behavioral issues before the divorce and he still has problems such as runaway, smoking, skipping school, and hanging out with school dropouts. Both my son and I are having a difficult time. I want to get along well with my son, but I don't know how and what to do. 

A. Most people think that children experience difficulties and have problems due to parents' divorce. However, parents' divorce itself has less effect on children's psychology than anxiety and depression they go through watching parents go through difficulties in the process of getting a divorce. 

Parents necessarily experience great stress and wounds in the process of getting a divorce even though they agree on the divorce and other related matters, so their divorce process goes rather smoothly. Parents' stress and wounds before and after the divorce are delivered to children entirely without being modified much.

Of course, most parents do their best not to affect children negatively in the process of getting a divorce. They may think that getting a divorce must be better than unhappy marriage for children. However, getting a divorce is only a way to avoid stress and wounds, not a way to solve the core issues. The mother may try hard to hold herself and do her best for her children as a divorced woman and a single mother, but her unconscious necessarily makes her express her wounds toward the closest people including her children in spite of herself. Then, the son finds it uncomfortable and stressful to stay at home. He would do his best to stay away from home, and be led to hang out with boys on the street. The daughter's condition is not mentioned in the question, but she is also likely to be experiencing difficulties whether it is displayed or not. She may be accommodating and suppressing her own wounds caused by her mother's expressions of wounds. The psychology of the child who suppresses emotions is likely to be more serious and more unstable than that of the child who expresses them outwardly. 

Teenage boys and girls are going through the phase of formation of self-identity in the development of psychology. They form their own thought standards based on their memories and experiences. When they cannot clearly understand what flows in for perception, stress and wounds are generated inside them. Some children may accommodate and suppress stress and wounds, and others may express them as they are. Healthy children naturally express their emotions be it positive or negative. Hiding emotions leads to the accumulation of stress and wounds. 

All family members cannot but go through a difficult time when parents get a divorce. Getting a divorce is more than just getting separated legally and physically, and children are affected no matter how hard you try as the mother. The mother must accurately understand what she and her children are going through psychologically. Then, she must treat her own condition and adopt right parenting strategies to stabilize children's psychology. 

 https://youtu.be/6IJWo8iSfcc

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[Infidelity Therapy] Distorted mind and psychology that make the spouse in infidelity think and behave differently from normal people.

 

The victimized spouse usually develops post traumatic stress and suffers from excruciating pain upon discovering spouse infidelity. The victimized spouse may try to restore marriage relationship by displaying anger, persuading the spouse in infidelity, or blaming him or herself, but may not want to believe that their spouse has committed infidelity due to relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder.

Wife infidelity may have occurred as a revenge affair against husband infidelity, as an aggravated condition caused by post traumatic stress, or by being a target of the adulterer who recognizes her vulnerable condition. Then, the wife is considered to have developed relationship addiction, which is a severe psychological disorder that destroys all human relationships. The same applies to husband infidelity. 

The mind of the spouse in infidelity is considered to have stopped operating normally for relationships, passion, sexuality, and happiness. Thus, the wife in infidelity focuses only on getting attention from the adulterer in return for providing the adulterer with sexual responses, and the husband in infidelity focuses only on getting sexual responses from the adulteress in return for providing the adulteress with attention and consolation.

Relationship addiction makes the spouse in infidelity develop distorted passion and pursue sexual pleasure, mistaking pleasure for happiness and justifying his or her distorted ideas and behaviors. They become highly illogical, irrational, and sophistic, justifying infidelity at all costs. Then, they naturally develop problems in normal relationships with normal people who think and behave differently from them.

In this situation, the only person who can restore the mind and psychology of the spouse in infidelity is the victimized spouse who has treated his or her post traumatic stress and has happiness ability. However, the victimized spouse usually does not even know this fact and just keeps suffering from the pain of post traumatic stress. All the practical measures they take as efforts to restore marriage relationship only aggravate their condition, and lead them to lose the chance to restore the mind and psychology of the spouse in infidelity. 

The victimized spouse who suffers from spouse infidelity must understand that the first and foremost thing he or she has to do to restore marriage relationship is to treat his or her post traumatic stress. Then, they can live happily with children and give the spouse in infidelity an opportunity to treat relationship addiction. The victimized spouse must not destroy his or her own mind just because the spouse in infidelity has destroyed his or her own mind. They can help their spouses in infidelity recover only when they have recovered first. 

https://youtu.be/TQsvBpw7uFo 

 

   

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[Infidelity Therapy] Happy about passionate love making with your husband in infidelity?

      A married couple's passionate love making must make both the husband and the wife happy. However, passionate love making between the husband in infidelity and the wife with post traumatic stress does more harm then good. 

     The wife who is happy about having a lot of sex with the husband in infidelity, usually even more frequently and passionately than before the husband infidelity has occurred, is considered to have developed the psychology of an adulteress. The wife is responding sexually to her own husband like an adulteress, destroying her own mind and psychology as well as her family and children. 

     <Example> “My husband truly regrets having an affair and he is so sweet to me. We are really happy these days and have sex more frequently and passionately than before. Actually, we used to be a sexless couple before I found out about his infidelity. I suffered from psychological pain at first, but having sex more seems to have brought us back together. My husband promises to me that he will never have an affair and I have recovered trust in him.” 

     Many women report that they have restored marriage relationship and happiness through restoring sexual relationship with the husband in infidelity and have solved all the problems. Many others try to restore sexual relationship with the husband in infidelity, or envy those who claim they have become happy since they have frequent and passionate sex with the husband in infidelity. All of them are convinced that husband infidelity has occurred due to the couple's sexual problems. 

     The husband in infidelity has developed relationship addiction, which makes him addicted to the adulteress's sexual responses. The wife who has discovered husband infidelity develops post traumatic stress accompanied by abnormally strong sexual desire. Then, the following 5 phenomena can be observed in the couple as they focus more on having sex. 

      1. The husband has strong sexual desire and enjoys having sex. 

The husband in relationship addiction is proud of himself for having an affair and the wife with post traumatic stress develops abnormal sexual desire. As they have more sex, the wife thinks that husband infidelity has led them to have more sex ad restore marriage relationship. The wife's condition progresses further by activating sexuality for intense pleasure and comfort and she mistakes sexual pleasure for happiness. Then, both the husband's relationship addiction and the wife's post traumatic stress deteriorates. 

     2. The husband identifies the wife with the adulteress and have sex more with the wife.

The husband thinks that something is better than nothing. The husband chooses to have sexual pleasure through the wife instead of the adulteress. The husband almost always imagines about having sex with other women when he is having sex with the wife. That is, the wife becomes a substitute for the adulteress. Of course, both the husband's relationship addiction and the wife's post traumatic stress deteriorates. 

     3. The husband has sex with both the adulteress and the wife frequently. 

The husband thinks that he can have the cake and eat it. The husband enjoys both the adulteress's sexual responses and the wife's sexual responses. He has sex with both the adulteress and the wife frequently. He has adulteresses both at home and outside home. Of course, both the husband's relationship addiction and the wife's post traumatic stress deteriorates. 

     4. The husband has sex with the wife frequently to make her feel comfortable. 

The husband cannot stand stress from the wife's anger and rage due to his infidelity. Having sex can be one of his strategies to make the wife feel comfortable and happy by relieving her abnormal sexual desire. Then, the wife's rage and anger seem to subside on the surface. Of course, both the husband's relationship addiction and the wife's post traumatic stress deteriorates. 

     5. The husband tries to make the wife enjoy perversive sex. 

The husband takes the wife's condition of post traumatic stress and abnormal sexual desire as an opportunity to introduce perversive sex to her such as threesome, group sex, or anal sex. He tries to have sex with the wife more frequently and passionately to lead her to sexual perversion. The wife may willingly participate in perversive sex thinking that they have restored sexual relationship and happiness. In such cases, both the husband and the wife are likely to develop more serious pathological conditions. 

     The wife may feel that she is happy when she has more frequent and passionate sex with the husband in infidelity. However, both the husband's and the wife's condition deteriorate, and they become to stop having sex sooner or later. Then, the husband will look for an adulteress with even stronger sexual responses, and the wife willingly becomes an adulteress of other men and abandons her role as the wife and mother.

     Then, the husband may casually take advantage of the wife sexually when he needs a sex partner, and doesn't even care whether she meets other men or not since the husband perceives the wife as one of the adulteresses. The wife equates sexual pleasure with love and happiness and willingly becomes a sexual object for many men. She also does not care about the husband's infidelity any more, since she perceives the husband as one of the adulterers.

     The husband in infidelity has already developed relationship addiction, which destroys his mind and psychology as well as his relationships, love, passion, sexuality, and happiness. However, the wife with post traumatic stress still has a chance to recover before she develops relationship addiction and more severe psychological disorders. The wife who thinks that she has restored marriage relationship through having more frequent and passionate sex with the husband in infidelity must come to herself, and begin to treat her condition of post traumatic stress adopting adequate methods to restore happiness in a true sense. 

https://youtu.be/mOhQw1PXa98

 

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[Review] I see myself changing.

In the past, I worked really hard to bring myself back, 

but I did not have the eyes to see myself and I despaired.

Today, finally, I feel proud of myself.

I am learning how to stand by myself experiencing the whole process of treatment,

which helped me turn back for life at the edge of the cliff. 

The process of treatment made me learn about the meaning of true gratitude. 

I was a religious person in the past, 

and heard many people say that they become happy when they can be grateful. 

However, when I suffered from the pain of death 

and simply wanted to stop the pain by just letting go of everything, 

the word gratitude was just a word I have seen in a dictionary. 

How badly did I want to get out of pain,  

and how shiny was the light that led me to life again, 

the light of wound treatment and psychology treatment.

At last, feelings of gratitude have come to me without myself making any effort. 

Of course, I have also found meanings and values of life again. 

 

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[Mother Therapy] Mother's wounds damage children's psychology.

 

Everyone has big and small wounds, but treated wounds become the source of happiness. Especially, mothers must take good care of their wounds because untreated mother's wounds may negatively affect children's psychology and even cause diverse psychological problems in children.

When mothers develop post traumatic stress due to husband infidelity while living a happy life with their family and children, they cannot but suffer from excruciating psychological pain. They may blame others or themselves, and do their best to overcome their difficulties taking all the measures within their knowledge and ability. 

When mothers are in pain of death due to post traumatic stress and try to deal with their own problems, children are likely to be neglected and develop psychological problems. Some mothers may completely neglect children and others may even use children to relieve their stress. They may take counseling and coaching, file lawsuits, proceed for a divorce. They may develop tendency for dependency and obsession. In this process, children's psychology also keeps deteriorating. 

Whether the mother gets a divorce, wins the lawsuit, feels better by taking counseling and coaching, or gets a temporary relief by doing anything else, her post traumatic stress cannot be adequately treated, and her children cannot but suffer from mother's unstable psychology, emotions, and behaviors. Mother's emotions permeate children's mind as they are, and greatly affect children's psychological condition. 

Mothers who suffer from post traumatic stress must accurately treat their condition before anything. The husband who has committed infidelity is considered to have already lost healthy psychology as well as the ability of love, passion, and happiness. The wife's taking practical measures will not recover the husband's destroyed mind since it is only the husband himself who can restore his own mind and psychology. 

As you adequately treat post traumatic stress, you will find that children also stabilize their psychology in no time. Then, you and your children can restore happiness regardless of your husband's psychological condition and practical circumstance. You can also give your husband an opportunity to treat himself if he finds it necessary. Please, remember that mother's emotions are delivered to children as they are. When mothers are not treated, children have to take in and keep all the pain and suffering for their whole life, thereby wounds being passed on through generations. 

https://youtu.be/IxEVNzW0ASs

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[Infidelity Therapy] If infidelity is love, why don't we all have an affair?

 

[Infidelity Therapy] Ignorant people who regard infidelity as love

You may have seen many people who regard infidelity as love in movies, books, lectures, and social and mass media. Their argument may look right in their own way and you may also agree on their ideas and explanations. When the majority of people accept certain ideas even when they are distorted ones, they become common sense and knowledge in the society. However, the true nature and cause of infidelity is relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder. Relationship addiction makes your psychology operate in a distorted way with regard to love, passion, and sexuality, and destroys all human relationships. 

People who equate infidelity with love are falsely justifying relationship addiction as a normal psychological condition. They easily relate the issue of infidelity with issues of marriage, sexuality, love, and emotions. These people are considered to be downright ignorant.

They are actually encouraging infidelity by justifying infidelity without understanding the underlying mechanism of the phenomena. What would happen when such distorted ideas become common sense and knowledge being accepted by the majority of people in the society? Of course, more and more people will end up committing infidelity thinking that they are in love when they are actually in a pathological condition of psychology. Then, no one would mind their loved ones including their parents and children developing relationship addiction assuming that they have just fallen in love. 

So many people are leading innocent people to develop psychological disorders, and many more are following the crowd destroying their own life and others' lives.      If you are so sure that infidelity is love, you must encourage your spouse, children, and other family members to commit infidelity openly. You can encourage everyone around to do so, too, since falling in love must be what everyone wants and a beautiful thing. 

Can you really say that

- It is OK to commit infidelity when you have marriage problems?

- It is OK to fall in love again through infidelity when you have relational problems?

- It is OK to just have sex with a new partner when you have sexual problems with the current partner?

 It is so obvious that people who regard infidelity as love are leading everyone to destroy themselves and people around them leading to the destruction of not only individuals but also the whole society. We are in a sad situation where even children are being negatively affected in this process. Please, keep in mind that infidelity has nothing to do with love whatsoever, and it is only the manifestation of relationship addiction, which is presented as response addiction for men and attention addiction for women. 

https://youtu.be/gT5DzpwYpY8

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Infidelity Therapy] Psychology counseling that turns fake wounds into real wounds.

When the wife discovers husband infidelity, she develops post traumatic stress caused by a great amount of wounds. When the level of general wounds is ㊀10, the level of wounds of post traumatic stress is more than ㊀100,000.

Especially, when the wife has had a happy marriage and trusted husband, wounds of post traumatic stress may be even greater like ㊀1,000,000. The wife with post traumatic stress can be likened to a wife who got hit in the back of her head with a huge hammer by the husband as she was just living a perfectly happy life. She suddenly got hit by a huge lightening in a beautiful sunny day. 

In such cases, real wounds directly caused by husband infidelity is less than 1% of the pain she recognizes. 99% of her pain is caused by the fake wounds triggered by husband infidelity. Post traumatic stress turns all her happy memories in her marriage life associated with her husband into wounds that are fake but that she recognizes as pain. 

‘My husband must love the adulteress, so my whole life has lost its meaning.’

‘My husband has an affair because I refused to have sex with him.’

‘My husband has an affair because I was too busy and didn't take care of him’

‘How could he betray me after all I have done for him? I feel so angry.’

‘I regret devoting my life to taking care of children not even knowing my husband was having an affair.’

      The wife may blame herself, blame other people, regret her life, and become enraged. She experiences unbearable excruciating pain. All women who have suffered from post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity must know that it feels like pain of death.     

     Here is an example dialogue between a suffering wife and a psychology counselor.

<Wife> My husband must be in love with the adulteress. My whole life is meaningless. What should I do?

<Counselor> I completely understand how much pain you are suffering from. Your husband definitely did a wrong thing. You must gather up your will for life and find your own happiness. You can recover and live a happy life from now on. It is not too late. 

※ The wife may feel consoled by the counselor's encouragement and she may have hope for happiness. It is right for the counselor to empathize, console, and encourage the wife. However, husband infidelity is caused by relationship addiction, which makes      him addicted to the adulteress' sexual responses. He never loved the adulteress but needed her sexual responses in the first place. The husband's love is unlimited responsibility in his unconsciousness, and it is formed only toward his wife. Connecting love and the adulteress causes fake wounds in the wife's mind. The counselor's empathy, consolation, and encouragement transform fake wounds into real wounds. 

     Also, the wife may think that her whole life has been wasted, but it is obvious that she has had a good life managing family, children, and career. When she thinks that her whole life has been wasted, all her memories about her life are perceived as wounds, which are actually fake wounds. 

     When the wife's fake wounds are perceived as real wounds, she may begin to think, 'He has been lying to me and he doesn't love me. He must have been so happy to meet the adulteress. I was stupid enough to trust him and devoted my life to family and children. I must listen to the counselor and I must change from now on and find my own happiness again. I must do everything differently'.

     Then, what kind of life will the wife live from then on? She thinks that devoting her life to family and children is wrong and her marriage is wrong, so she needs to get a divorce. She must change everything from her relationships with people and her ideas about love and happiness to her ideas about sexuality. She may begin to get involved with men she is not supposed to, give sexual responses to men in return for attention, and mistake having such a relationship for happiness. 

     The consequence of turning fake wounds into real wounds is absolutely disastrous. It completely destroys the life of the wife and children. Would anyone be willing to take psychology counseling that turns fake wounds into real wounds? When someone empathizes, consoles, encourages, and advises you about fake wounds, they are perceived as real wounds. You may feel comfortable temporarily, but it only leads you to dire consequences.

    Psychology counselors must reflect on themselves for what they do to empathize, encourage, and console the wife suffering from pain, 99% of which is fake wounds. Korea Institute of Psycho-education does not provide psychology counseling that turns all fake wounds into real wounds. KIP Treatment Programs are designed to treat wounds effectively without psychology counseling and without short-term or long-term adverse effects. 

 https://youtu.be/phdfsCEbNIY

                    

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)