[Review] Looking back on my life

I look back on my life. I used to insist on my own standards for everything without trying to understand other people's thoughts and feelings. I guess I was too self-centered. I justified myself using violence, avoidance, or severance of relationships as means to get out of stress.

My habits long held from the past inflicted pain on my family after I got married. I blamed myself and developed dependency on knowledge and information I could get. Both my body and mind became ill.

I make efforts not to block or avoid, but to overcome stress while I am taking the treatment program. I can see change in myself through my family. I will keep making efforts for myself and my family. 

https://youtu.be/m4FxfPyHwDw

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[Infidelity Therapy] How the victim of spouse infidelity becomes a perpetrator.

Post traumatic stress develops upon experiencing traumatic incident. Post traumatic stress makes the victim develop fake wounds making all the life experiences felt as negative memories. They victim develops wounds upon everything perceived, remembered, and expressed, and develops problems in habits of psychology such as psychological disorders and psychosis.

The victimized spouses suffer from excruciating pain when all life experiences become fake wounds. When fake wounds develop into real wounds in mimind and problems of habits of psychology develop, the victimized spouses feel comfort temporarily and then the condition progresses into severe psychological disorders, which make them pursue pleasure.

Feeling comfort without proper treatment after you suffer from excruciating pain indicates that your condition has deteriorated. It keeps deteriorating for the who life time causing diverse psychological problems. When post traumatic stress is not properly treated, it necessarily cause unhappy or destructive life. 

Many so called experts guides victimized spouses to aggravate their condition and become a perpetrator instead of treating properly. Some may encourage victims to live a destructive life for their own profit, and many victims fall for the deception and become perpetrators themselves. Indeed, we are in a serious situation. 

Post traumatic stress can occur due to spouse infidelity, sudden loss of loved ones, rape, collapse of values of life, an accident, an aftereffect of illness. When post traumatic stress is not properly treated, you will necessarily develop a psychological disorder, which will develop into a severe psychological disorder and then, to a psychosis. Then, you do not suffer from pain but you feel comfort, pleasure living as a perpetrator. 

When you suffer from post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity, there are three different paths your life can take. 

1. A Happy life

You can live a happy life by treating your condition, restoring happiness ability, and building habits of wound treatment by taking KIP Treatment Program.

2. An unhappy life (Stay as a victim)

You may give up on your life, sacrifice and devote yourself to other people, and bear the pain of post traumatic stress. You are unhappy but you do not harm other people. 

3. A destructive life (become a perpetrator)

You become to live only for your own comfort and pleasure. You harm other people to obtain comfort and pleasure and justify yourself mistaking destruction for happiness. 

The victimized spouse goes through the following three stages to become a perpetrator.      

Stage 1 : Make efforts to get out of pain of post traumatic stress

You get immersed into coping with the issue of spouse infidelity through law suits, divorce, and counseling, and form relationships for your comfort. You may develop a severe psychological disorder.

Stage 2 : Make efforts to gain confidence and pleasure

You become to develop dependency and obsession on a specific object, and form relationships for your confidence and pleasure. You may develop relationship addiction, which is a severe psychological disorder. You may also develop intermittent explosive disorder or hysteria. You begin to harm other people for your pleasure. 

Stage 3 : Make efforts to damage other people for your profit and satisfaction. 

You begin to attack people, display rage, and commit crimes pursuing pleasure, and form relationships the suit your goal. Intermittent explosive disorder or hysteria may progress into psychosis, which is manifested as psychopath or sociopath. You begin to feel happy when others are suffering from pain. 

When you have post traumatic stress and don't treat the condition properly, you may live an unhappy life as a victim, or live as a perpetrator inflicting damage on others. This is due course for anyone who develops post traumatic stress. Especially, you are likely to harm close people including your spouse, children, family, and friends. Then, you may also harm anyone how happen to be around you.

Post traumatic stress can cause dire consequences in your life. You must understand that your condition deteriorates as time passes destroying your life and others' lives in the end. You must restore happiness ability by treating the condition in the right way before it's too late. KIP Treatment Program offers you the right way to treat yourself on your own to restore health and happiness in a true sense. 

https://youtu.be/eGbBsg9znEY

                                       

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Mother Therapy] Children's right & parents' responsibility

 

Parents cannot but face difficulties in the process of raising children. All parents do their best, but when they find child rearing too hard, they give up and let children do whatever they want and take responsibility. However, it is not right for parents to have children take responsibility and not care about them. 

Parents must let children decide for themselves when children become adults, but children who are minors and in the process of forming self-identity through trials and errors cannot and should not take responsibility for themselves. Minors have only the right to be protected and reared by adults, and they should be able to prepare themselves for pursuing self-actualization as adults in the future. They will and must take responsibility when they become adults and pursue self-actualization. Parents who make children take responsibility are neglecting their duty as parents. 

Minors have the right to be happy under the protection of parents and parents have the responsibility to protect children. When parents have their own psychological problems, they lose the perspective that views children's growth process as it is and they perceive it as problems. Some parents even blame children for their own problems. They think that they are having a difficult time because their children have problems.         

For example, when a teenager displays rebellious and aggressive behaviors, parents may think that they have not changed but the child has peculiar personality traits or some problems unrelated with parents. They may think that parenting is too difficult and they are unhappy because of their child. Personality is not good or bad in itself. Any personality trait can be manifested positively or negatively depending on the situation or the view point. 

It is usually the unstable environment provided by parents who have their own problems that negatively affect children, which in turn makes children display diverse behavioral and psychological problems. Some children may express their distress outwardly by being rebellious or aggressive, and others may suppress their negative emotions. Either way, children's psychology cannot develop in a healthy way when parents have psychological problems. 

Parents affect children greatly with no exception. Especially, parents' emotional state is delivered to children without being filtered. You should never discard your duty of protecting children and taking responsibility for their healthy growth. You should never make children take responsibility for their growth. 

https://youtu.be/VcE4soubPiY

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[Infidelity Therapy] Can you overcome infidelity with religion?

 

[Infidelity Therapy] The difference between religious activities and proper treatment when suffering from spouse infidelity 

Some people get confused between religious activities and proper treatment. For example, they would ask, “If shouldn't develop dependency on religion, can't I go to church, read the Bible, or pray while I am taking the treatment program?” 

Of course you can do all of them. However, you must not use religion to avoid pain and find temporary comfort justifying yourself. Then, you are more likely to aggravate post traumatic stress instead of properly treating it. 

Developing dependency on religion is not living a healthy life of faith. You cannot and should not cover up your problems of habits of psychology with religion. As you treat post traumatic stress properly, you will be able to consolidate your religious beliefs. Then, your religious activities can be beneficial for your health and happiness in a true sense. However, when you go to church to meet people and share wounds with them forming personal relationships, you can be put in danger of destroying yourself and others. In that case, you are going to church not for the life of faith but for getting attention and consolation from people. 

Religion can be distorted when humans perceive and operate it in a distorted way. The idea that any type of adoption of religion is legitimate and divine is dangerous. Human mind has the mechanism of its operation, and problems necessarily develop in habits of psychology when it is operated in distorted ways. You can restore healthy psychology only when you accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology, and make efforts accordingly. 

You may think that you can overcome post traumatic stress only with your devotion to religion since your pain and suffering go beyond human capabilities. Indeed, the pain and suffering of post traumatic stress is excruciating enough to make you experience hell on earth. However, depending on religion without proper treatment leads you to seek only comfort with self-justification. 

When treat your condition in a proper way, you can perceive everything and pursue religion in the right way. Restoring your psychology will help you consolidate you religious belief pursuing health and happiness in a true sense. Then, you can also lead a healthy and happy life of faith.

It is recommended that you go to church, read the Bible, and pray with a true heart of faith without developing dependency on relationships with people. It can actually expedite your treatment process. They are considered as healthy religious activities that positively affect you without depending on relationships with people, and they will expedite the process of recovery from post traumatic stress. 

Only praying day and night without making efforts for treatment in the right way, it is likened to asking your god to take care of everything and you doing nothing. It is not your god but you yourself who must make efforts to restore happiness ability. Of course, praying everyday for courage and power along with making efforts and gathering up your will to treat post traumatic stress will help you go in the right direction and at a faster rate. 

     https://youtu.be/U4zhfIbpYaU

                                         

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Infidelity Therapy] You may not have an opportunity to treat post traumatic stress later.

Many people think that it would not be too late to treat post traumatic stress of the victimized spouse after they solve practical problems of spouse infidelity such as lawsuits and divorce. They may feel that it is urgent to solve the practical problems of infidelity, and think that their psychological condition will be fine even when they are going trough post traumatic stress.

However, post traumatic stress only deteriorates as time passes without proper treatment. Especially, as you continue to be exposed to infidelity while trying to solve the practical problems of infidelity. Many people neglect their condition for too long and try to treat it only when everything has collapsed. Then, it may be too late to treat post traumatic stress.

When you treat post traumatic stress before trying to solve the problem of spouse infidelity, you can easily address all practical problems related with infidelity protecting yourself and children with happiness ability. In this case, all the practical measures such as lawsuits and divorce contribute to consolidating your happiness. 

People who try to solve practical problems of infidelity first are doing their best to restore happiness in their own ways. However, it results in aggravating post traumatic stress and destroying yourself and children. When post traumatic stress advances to intermittent explosive disorder or hysteria, it is very hard to treat the condition. You may be able to prevent the aggravation through medication, but it is impossible to cure the condition and restore normalcy. 

When spouse infidelity occurs, the most important thing is not to address the practical problems of infidelity, but to treat post traumatic stress of the victimized spouse. Your conscious thought and emotions are completely different depending on whether you have treated post traumatic stress or not. You must treat your post traumatic stress before anything and then, you can give your spouse an opportunity to treat his or her condition of relationship addiction.

When relationship addiction progresses to intermittent explosive disorder or hysteria, the victimized spouse is recommended to get a divorce and then treat post traumatic stress to be able to protect him or herself and children. Of course, it is not easy to treat post traumatic stress and restore happiness. On the other hand, it is very easy to avoid the situation, display rage, and collapse. It is up to you to decide on whatever you do with your life, but it should be kept in mind that taking practical measures to solve problems of infidelity before treating post traumatic stress only leads to collapse.

     You experience pain and suffering at the early stage of post traumatic stress but you feel comfortable as the condition progresses further, which means that your mind is being destroyed and other people begin to suffer in the relationship with you. As your condition deteriorates, all your relationships with people are affected negatively. You must put priority on restoring healthy psychology and take the opportunity to treat post traumatic stress when you can. 

                                                                    https://youtu.be/Oh-z8mYIqRI

                              

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)  

[Review] The most important thing in life

From time to time, I think about moments I was in such pain before I started the treatment program. I was completely lost for what was going on, I was in fear, I felt like I was expelled, I wished I was in a dream, and I desperately wanted somebody to save me. I was in pain every moment of the day and the night.

I want to hug myself tight if I went back to the time. I would encourage myself and say that I would get over the suffering. I would tell myself that it was not my fault.      At first, I was looking to everyone for saving me. I could have fallen for anything if I had not started the treatment program.

I was in despair many times even during the treatment. I thought what I was going through was beyond the capability of this program. Then, I thought I was cured and I began to neglect therapeutic tasks about a year after I began the treatment. At that time, I put priority on other things than on treating myself. 

I have realized that myself is the most important thing in my life, so treating myself is also more important than anything else. I promise myself that I will focus on the treatment. 

 https://youtu.be/rwFhPlAo6T8

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[Infidelity Therapy] The optimal timing of lawsuits, divorce, and solutions

 

It may be necessary to file a lawsuit, get a divorce, or address practical issues when spouse infidelity is discovered. However, every measure should be taken at a right time. Many people who suffer from spouse infidelity do not wait for the right time and go ahead for lawsuits, a divorce, or solutions, being engulfed by rage and despair. Then, the victimized spouse and children should bear the unfortunate result that damages their life. 

1. Getting a divorce upon the discovery of spouse infidelity

You may think that getting a divorce is only natural when spouse infidelity is discovered. However, your life will be destroyed when you just get a divorce without treating wounds from marriage life and spouse infidelity, which causes post traumatic stress. The psychology of compensation is likely to be activated after a divorce, which may lead you to pursue pleasurable life losing the power of control. 

You may be convinced that you are not a pleasure seeker at all, but your damaged psychology makes you think and act in the opposite ways. Then, you may justify yourself saying that you couldn't help it because of this and that. Treating post traumatic stress must precede getting a divorce. You also need to fully prepare yourself before getting a divorce. Interestingly, in many cases, the victimized spouse loses the idea of getting a divorce after they recover from rage and resentment caused by post traumatic stress. 

2. Filing a lawsuit upon the discovery of spouse infidelity

It may be necessary to file a lawsuit against the adulterer or the adulteress. However, when you proceed with lawsuits without treating post traumatic stress, post traumatic stress deteriorates rapidly in the process of lawsuits. Focusing on lawsuits is equivalent to focusing on rage and revenge as well as on the spouse in infidelity. If you focus on thinking about spouse infidelity when you should actually try not to retrieve the incident, psychological wounds increase exponentially.

Differently from what many people think, it is almost impossible to recover marriage relationship after lawsuits. Lawsuits consolidate the idea that the spouse in infidelity as well as the adulterer or the adulteress is a perpetrator. It is as if you destroyed your life with your own hands even if you win the lawsuit. On the other hand, when you file lawsuits after you treat post traumatic stress and build happiness ability, you can proceed with lawsuits without losing the control of your life and without damaging yourself and your children. 

3. Addressing practical issues upon the discovery of spouse infidelity

The spouse in infidelity has already destroyed marriage relationship. No practical measure can restore marriage relationship, and such measures can only destroy marriage relationship at a faster rate. Both trying to be nice to the spouse or trying to hurt the spouse are examples of taking practical measures. The spouse in infidelity may act irrationally or violently upon the slightest trigger of stress and wounds since he or she has developed relationship addiction that destroys all human relationship. 

People in relationship addiction tend to have relationships only among themselves. Any practical measure taken by the spouse who has post traumatic stress induces intense stress and severe wounds in the spouse in infidelity, which in turn gives them more excuses to destroy marriage relationship. If you want to keep even the slightest chance to restore marriage relationship, it is recommended that you shouldn't address or solve practical issues just yet. Looking for solutions should wait until you treat post traumatic stress and build happiness ability. Otherwise, it is like pouring water in a sieve. 

4. Taking advice or counseling upon the discovery of spouse infidelity

Not many people understand the nature of infidelity. Most advice and counseling including professional counseling don't help you restore happiness and marriage relationship. You may feel comfortable temporarily from retrieving your stress and wounds and aggravating post traumatic stress while taking advice and counseling. When you are consoled and empathized by the counselor about your thoughts and feelings, you become to justify your rage and despair and turn fake wounds into real wounds, blurring the fundamental issues and developing dependency on the person who consoles and empathizes with you. 

You can take other people's advice and counseling after you treat post traumatic stress, remove fake wounds, and take the full control of your life. Then, you can decide on the right direction of your life on your own. Otherwise, post traumatic stress only deteriorates as you take more advice and more counseling. Then, you will end up living your life not by your own will but by other people's will. 

It is the condition of post traumatic stress that gets in your way whatever you do upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. You can and must file lawsuits, get a divorce, or address practical issues if necessary for you own happiness. However, you will end up destroying your life and your children's life when all your actions are based on post traumatic stress. You will be able to achieve happiness for yourself and your children whatever you do after you treat post traumatic stress and build happiness ability. 

https://youtu.be/t9jb9O0xd1w

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)  

[Mother Therapy] I am angry at myself for losing my temper at my children

Q. I am a working mother who is raising a boy and a girl. My boy has tic disorder and has been taking psychology therapy for quite a long time. I wonder whether he has developed tic disorder since I was always working outside home ever since he was very young. Especially, I can't seem to control my temper when my children quarrel with each other and they make a fuss about what to wear for school in the morning. I didn't want to become like my own mother, who complained and fretted a lot to children, so I even majored in psychology at college. I feel frustrated that I am becoming like my mother. 

​A. Parents do not necessarily have to make generous and controlled expressions all the time toward children. Parents can get angry at children sometimes. Anger should not be denied only as a negative emotion, and it just shows that your psychology is unstable. If you expressed anger toward children in spite of yourself, you should apologize and explain why you were so angry even when children are very young. If you just keep expressing anger and do not take any actions of apology and explanation, children become just the objects you vent your anger on. 

Some mothers blame themselves when their children have problems. It is very difficult for you to manage child rearing and working on your career simultaneously, and you or any mother can't be a perfect mother. You shouldn't blame yourself for your child's tic disorder since it didn't happen because you had a career. 

All human beings, especially women, have wounds in mimind. Seemingly perfect parents cannot avoid stress and wounds completely. It causes no problem when stress and wounds are properly healed and treated as they occur, but it causes problems when they are accumulated and suppressed. This will affect the closest relationships most negatively. That is, mother's unstable psychology, not expressing anger itself, negatively affects children. 

You said you didn't want to become like your own mother, who complained and fretted a lot. The fact is that your mother never wanted to become an irritable and peevish mother. She was a very sweet mother at first, but she changed as her psychological condition deteriorated as she got stressed and wounded more and more.      

As you accurately understand your psychological condition, you can easily address the fundamental issues. As you stabilize your psychology, you will understand your mother and stop being irritable and peevish even when children make a fuss every day. The most important thing is to examine your own condition of the body and the mind.

https://youtu.be/V7nxMjdeURU

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[Infidelity Therapy] It is the husband's fault to commit husband infidelity, but it is the wife's fault to destroy herself and children.

It is the husband's fault to commit infidelity. He has developed relationship addiction acutely, which is an advanced condition of a psychological disorder. However, it is the wife's fault to destroy herself and children after she discovers husband infidelity and develops post traumatic stress. It may be the husband's infidelity that caused the wife's post traumatic stress, but the wife can treat post traumatic stress, transform her life to a happy one, and protect herself and children. All her efforts she makes without treating post traumatic stress destroy herself, children, and family. She has to treat herself before she blames the husband and take measures to address the husband's problem. 

When the wife treats her post traumatic stress, she can restore a happy life and protect children regardless of what the husband does. The wife who is in pain must first treat her post traumatic stress and become happy before addressing the husband's problem. Of course, she can ask for compensation and hold him responsible for putting all family members in danger since the wife has protected her children and family after treating her condition. 

If the husband is committing infidelity and the wife is suffering from post traumatic stress, the whole family is in danger of collapse. The wife must treat herself to minimize the time of suffering and prevent the aggravation of the condition to restore happiness of the family. The wife who aggravates her own condition is not entitled to condemn the husband for his wrongdoing. When the wife just keeps blaming the husband for everything and doesn't treat her post traumatic stress, all family members cannot but collapse sooner or later. When husband infidelity occurs, treating the wife's post traumatic stress is much more important than addressing the husband's problem. 

The husband in infidelity has developed a psychological disorder that destroys all human relationships and has lost the ability to protect the family. The protection of the family is absolutely in the wife's hands. When the wife doesn't treat post traumatic stress and try to get even with the husband or punish him, the husband may get stressed immensely and aggravate his condition. When the wife treats post traumatic stress and has the happiness ability, the husband is not stressed by the wife's behaviors. 

The husband in relationship addiction reacts negatively whenever he is stressed in any situation and behaves in ways to destroy human relationships. The wife must leave him alone until she treats post traumatic stress and her behaviors do not induce stress in the husband. It is not to say that the wife must forgive him or just forget about husband infidelity. She must address the husband's problem and help him treat relationship addiction after she stabilizes her own psychology. She is the only one who can give the husband an opportunity to restore happiness. It is impossible to deal with the issue when the wife is in post traumatic stress. 

The wife must take KIP Treatment Program to treat post traumatic stress and restore happiness ability. As the wife attacks the husband and blames him for his wrongdoing without treating her condition, the whole family is destroyed. The wife's decision and her efforts determine the life of herself and children. When everything is destroyed, the wife may blame the husband for her ow behaviors and justify her behaviors. 

It is only the wife who can make a choice for her own life. The wife's life and children's life are determined by the wife's choice. She is the only one who can decide whether she will stay with her husband or leave him. 

https://youtu.be/rfcP6wUK3Vo

  

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[Infidelity Therapy] You can't just go back to normality as if nothing had happened when you discover spouse infidelity.

 

The discovery of spouse infidelity causes the victimized spouse to develop post traumatic stress. Then, the victimized spouse cannot easily recover as if nothing had happened since post traumatic stress progresses unless properly treated. 

Post traumatic stress progresses for the whole life time unless properly treated. It doesn't go away even if the spouse behaves well and try to think that it will never happen again. It also deteriorates when the victimized spouse try to find evidence of infidelity and take practical measures to cope with the situation. Then, post traumatic stress begins to negatively affect all the relationships including the relationship with children.

As post traumatic stress progresses, victim mentality, perpetrator mentality, and the psychology of compensation also develop, and you will keep trying to satisfy yourself and compensate for what you have lost in order to achieve comfort and pleasure. This type of comfort and pleasure only indicated that your condition has deteriorated. You may justify yourself thinking that you deserve the compensation, give up on recovery, and remove pain to stay comfortable. 

It is only normal and natural to feel emotions of pain and sorrow as well as pleasure happiness since they are all parts of emotions generated by human mind. Removing feelings of pain and sorrow is to destroy them and make them unrecognized in the conscious. Then, you become to justify that living in comfort and pleasure with positive moods in the sensory organs is happiness. It indicates that your condition is as serious as the condition of the spouse in infidelity. 

Whether the spouse is in infidelity is less important than the fact that you have developed post traumatic stress and it will progress unless properly treated. You can't just go back to normality as if nothing had happened. 

Relationship addiction is a psychological disorder that destroys human relationships, love and happiness, and sexuality. People in relationship addiction do not hesitate to destroy any relationship when they are stressed from the relationship justifying their behaviors and blaming the counterparty. They end up destroying their own life in the end.

Relationship addiction also deteriorates for the whole lifetime unless properly treated. When the spouse infidelity is discovered by the victimized spouse, marriage relationship cannot be restored without proper treatment no matter how hard both parties try since both are in the condition of psychological disorder. 

Both post traumatic stress and relationship addiction obstruct the recovery of marriage relationships. Then, what kind of life would you choose? It is imperative that happiness be restored in the right way through Mind Training upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. Otherwise, all the family cannot but live an unhappy life or a destructive life regardless of the conscious intention destroying all human relationships. Especially, children's psychology and life are destroyed along the way. You must restore your own happiness and psychological stability first to protect your children. 

Many people live an unhappy life and a destructive life by their own choice, but justify themselves and blame their spouses who committed infidelity. The spouse in infidelity has destroyed his or her life, and inflicted pain and suffering on you, but he or she has not destroyed your life. You are the only one who can choose the path of your own life. Even at this moment, your post traumatic stress is progressing while you are watching this video. It is time for you to decide on the proper treatment for your life. 

When you justify yourself with the condition of post traumatic stress, you may destroy not only your life but also life of people around you. You may also develop dependency and obsession and live unhappily. It is you yourself who destroy your own mimind and make your life unhappy and destructive. 

 When you discover spouse infidelity, you may suffer from excruciating pain of post traumatic stress and just want to go back to the old days when you were happy. However, it is impossible unless you adequately treat your condition and restore your happiness as an individual first.  

https://youtu.be/Utiu2UMF2xw

    

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Review] To the land of happiness

 

People who have not suffered from pain could not even imagine what it is like. 
It felt like my whole life had collapsed, and I couldn't even care about my own children. I barely survived in pain and obsession, and thought I couldn't live like that forever. So I started KIP Treatment.

I floundered in the bog of pain, and then, regained comfort for some time. I became irritable and unstable, and then, resumed therapeutic tasks. I repeated the whole process endlessly going back and forth.

Now, I feel quite composed. My teenage boy who was always grumpy and wouldn't talk to me has become talkative and laughs a lot. I find him so adorable even when he is complaining for nothing. I have recently found out that there are flowers on the street in front of my house. They are adorable, too.

I, who have lived as a full-time home maker for 17 years, have begun to pursue values. I feel that I can be passionate for may career. I took a test to get some kind of license, but I failed, but it's OK. I can try again. I am thankful for having an opportunity. I want to smile at people who I see on the street. 

Everything seems to be OK now. I think I can heal stress on my own these days. I don't know how exactly to express it but I feel moved while I am healing stress. 

I still miss some points when I do therapeutic tasks. I plan to continue until I am completely cured, keeping my first intention and doing my best to do therapeutic tasks.

https://youtu.be/OBOPHjoGSsI

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[Mother Therapy] Parents' psychological problems are passed down to children.

 

     Children who are neglected or abused by parents are necessarily to develop psychological problems. However, parents may not realize that their children have developed psychological problems due to parents' problems since they are busy dealing with their own psychological problems. They only focus on their pain and difficulties and sometimes even blame children for their problems. They may say, "Only if you hadn't done such a thing….", "It is your own fault, not mine. This problem is your own making.", "You really give me a hard time."

     Children have the right to be protected by parents and learn how to adapt to relationships and form their own standards of happiness. Parents have the responsibility to protect children. When parents cannot solve their own psychological problems, they negatively affect children neglecting or abusing children. 

     Children's psychological problems may not have surfaced yet. They may look like they are doing fine, going to school and not getting into troubles. Sometimes, children do not show any visible signs of problems at all even when parents have serious psychological problems. It only indicates that children have really serious psychological problems but it has not surfaced yet. They will be displayed in diverse ways sooner or later. They may also have difficulties or get involved in accidents or crimes when they become adults and pursue self-actualization. 

     Parents should never neglect or abuse children even if they are going through difficult times psychologically. Parents' psychological problems may be passed down to children since children are necessarily affected by parents' psychological condition. It is recommended that parents try to solve their own psychological problems and treat their condition to be able to provide a good environment for children to develop healthy psychology. Otherwise, both parents and children may have to live unhappily in spite of themselves. 

https://youtu.be/e7M32LJylK4

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[Review] Surprised and grateful for my change

 

I have recently read an e-mail that I wrote to Mr. Kim right before I started KIP Treatment Program 1 year ago. I could see how lost and vulnerable I was not knowing what to do and how intimidating my existence was in my children's life at that time. ​

One year ago, everyone but me looked so happy and I thought I could be happy only when other people gave me happiness. I blamed others for not making me happy and giving me only pain. I blamed even my mother and my children. ​

Now I can see clearly why I was so in pain even when I tried so hard to get out of it. My wounds come from my own feelings and they are sensed only by me. Now I understand that I am the only one who can treat myself. I am the one who makes wounds in mimind and at the same time I am the one who has the key to my happiness. 

I still have to keep going on the bumpy road for some time but I can do it because I have hope. I am grateful to my mother and my children for not complying with me when I was beside myself. ​I am surprised that I don't envy other people and don't feel unhappy anymore. I am deeply grateful to Korea Institute of Psycho-education. 

https://youtu.be/7H2KhVx9NVc

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[Infidelity Therapy] The psychology of the spouse in infidelity

 

     People who suffer from spouse infidelity want to know about the mind and psychology of the spouse in infidelity. It is because they have to make decisions on whether they can live with the spouse in infidelity. Also, the spouse in infidelity may want to know about the mind and psychology of the adulterer or the adulteress to be able to judge whether they have to keep the inappropriate relationship. 

Infidelity is not caused by problems of marriage, sex, love, or emotions. The spouse in infidelity has developed relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder. They commit infidelity when they find women who respond to men's attention or men who give women attention. The cause of infidelity is relationship addiction, which is response addiction for men and attention addiction for women. 

The spouse in infidelity has developed relationship addiction and it progresses into intermittent explosive disorder, hysteria, or psychosis when it deteriorates to relationship addiction that involves sexual actions.

1. The operation of mind of peole in infidelity

Human mind generates emotions and operates it as psychology of perception, memory, and expression. The result of psychological operation and the resulting emotions are recognized in the conscious. The spouse in infidelity and the adulterer or the adulteress have developed psychological disorders in two components of psychology. In case of men, they develop perception disorder and expression disorder simultaneously. Perception disorder can be referred to as neurotic disorder and expression disorder as addiction. The husband in infidelity or the adulterer recognizes the most intense stress upon getting the slightest trigger of stress since perception disorder is activated. They display intense negative expressions to avoid or eliminate stress.

When men in infidelity perceive stress, they experience unbearable anxiety and nervousness and form obsession with the response of the adulteress. They can relieve stress and experience the most pleasurable sensations when they get responses from the adulteress. All these psychological phenomena are expressed through their speech and actions.

In this case, their psychology of memory operates in a normal way, so they would do anything not to get caught cheating by their spouse, children and friends. They feel comfortable and composed when they are not caught. However, when they are exposed to stress, they make speech and actions to avoid and eliminate the source of stress and they distort their memory and make self-justification.

In case of women, they have developed disorders of memory of emotions and expression disorder simultaneously. The disorder of memory of emotions can be referred to as depression and expression disorder as addiction. The wife in infidelity or the adulteress perceives even the smallest wounds in mimind, the disorder of memory of emotions is activated and the experience the most excruciating pain. Then, they make intense expressions in an attempt to treat wounds. Also, they experience anxiety and nervousness and develop obsession with the adulterer's attention. They feel relieved with intense sense of pleasure when they get attention from the adulterer. 

 2. The operation of psychology of people in infidelity

1) Men

The psychology of memory of men in infidelity operates in a normal way, so they would do anything not to get caught cheating by their spouse, children and friends. They feel comfortable and composed when they are not caught. However, when they are exposed to stress, they make speech and actions to avoid and eliminate the source of stress and they distort their memory and make self-justification. They may become violent or use violent language to eliminate stress, and destroy their memory and make self-justification. Men's relationship addiction progresses as they keep avoiding and eliminating stress. 

The more men are attacked for their infidelity, the more their relationship addiction progresses. When men's relationship addiction progresses into relationship addiction that involves sexual actions, they may develop intermittent explosive disorder or psychosis. 

2) Women

In case of women, they have developed disorders of memory of emotions and expression disorder simultaneously. The disorder of memory of emotions can be referred to as depression and expression disorder as addiction. The wife in infidelity or the adulteress perceives even the smallest wounds in mimind, the disorder of memory of emotions is activated and the experience the most excruciating pain. Then, they make intense expressions in an attempt to treat wounds. Also, they experience anxiety and nervousness and develop obsession with the adulterer's attention. They feel relieved with intense sense of pleasure when they get attention from the adulterer. All these psychological phenomena are expressed as speech and actions. 

In this case, women's psychology of memory and perception operate in normal ways. They would do their best not to get caught cheating by their husband, children, and friends. They can stay comfortable and composed when they are not caught. However, they distort their memory and make self-justification when they retrieve wounds in memory and make speech and actions to treat wounds in mimind. Then, their relationship addiction progresses further. The more they are attacked for their infidelity, the more they display anger and want the adulterer's attention. This also aggravates women's relationship addiction. Moreover, when their relationship addiction advances into relationship addiction that involves sexual actions, they may develop hysteria or psychosis. 

 https://youtu.be/Aa-CmFT9uZ4

 

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Infidelity Therapy] The danger of arbitrary interpretation and self-conviction on infidelity

 

People who have relationship addiction and post traumatic stress make arbitrary interpretations thinking that their ideas and behaviors are right when they are exposed to diverse information on infidelity. People who make arbitrary interpretations tend to think and act as they please to feel comfortable. They think that they know everything about the issue and justify themselves. They are actually aggravating their condition of relationship addiction and post traumatic stress. Then, they may develop the disorder of the conscious being convinced that what is wrong is what is right. 

The spouse in infidelity has developed the psychological disorder that destroys all human relationships. Everything that obstructs their infidelity is perceived as stress and they avoid or sever all relationships that gives them stress. Then, they usually lose the opportunity to treat their condition. Also, people who suffer from post traumatic stress may develop the disorder of the conscious when they are convinced that they are fine when they actually have aggravated the condition and feel comfortable without proper treatment. They justify themselves believing that they are fine. 

You must avoid interacting with people who make arbitrary interpretations after they develop relationship addiction or post traumatic stress. They will attack you in many ways when they find that others' ideas and behaviors do not accord with them since they have such strong conviction that their ideas and behaviors are absolutely right. They are good at justifying themselves with the idea that what they know to be right represents all the truth there exists. They never realize that they are in a serious psychological condition. 

For this reason, it is recommended that people who have taken KIP Treatment should never talk about or suggest the program with other people. It is only to be used for your own treatment and happiness and not for anyone else. You may actually fall for arbitrary interpretations yourself and destroy yourself and other people when you try to teach the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and therapeutic tasks that you learned at KIP Treatment Program.

All your expressions and behaviors as you aggravate post traumatic stress may destroy everyone including yourself, your spouse, children, family, friends, and acquaintances. It is dangerous to look for information on infidelity and make arbitrary interpretations and develop self-conviction. Most practical measures suggested for solving the issue of infidelity are likely to only aggravate the condition of relationship addiction and post traumatic stress. 

https://youtu.be/Q-aQIPpqRsQ

 

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)